


When the Lights Go Down

by DisgruntledMinion



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Humor, Ice Play, Insecurity, Light BDSM, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Spanking, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2017-11-07 07:12:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 102,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/428332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisgruntledMinion/pseuds/DisgruntledMinion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: When the lights fade in stardom, a star will fall to the ground. But it will be picked up and enveloped by the darkness, showing that there's more pleasure to be found in the shadows than in the spotlight. Seb/Ciel</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It is Sebastian/Ciel, I promise. This first chapter just mentions Claude/Ciel but it's needed for the story, even though nothing will come of it. So please don't be turned off by that. This is a SEBASTIAN/CIEL fic. Just want to clarify that one last time.

Wind howled outside the bookstore, tossing the summer leaves about as the storm blew in. It promised to be a strong one, but one that would be short lived as most summer storms were in the area. But for the occupants inside the bookstore, the storm simply offered them more time to browse the aisles and sample the books that were on display. People were curled up in couches, ignoring the incoming storm as they continued to read, while others nursed warm coffee or tea and watched the weather from the safety of the coffee shop.

The door was blown open, two more people entering the bookstore with their hair mussed and cheeks tinted red from the wind. No sooner had the door closed behind them did the skies open up, letting cold rain fall to the earth, staining the concrete a dark gray color. The duo laughed lightly and made their way further inside, wanting to find a place to sit so they could wait out the storm.

"That was a lucky break," Ciel murmured, running a hand through his hair so it would lie properly again. "This is why I don't go shopping with you, Lizzy. Bad things always happen when we go shopping."

The blond haired female huffed and fixed her own hair. "You're just mad because we didn't get to reach your favorite bakery before the rain hit. I promised to buy some pastries as a thank you for coming with me and I will. You just have to wait a little longer now," she commented before making a beeline to the music section.

Ciel rolled his eyes and slowly followed Elizabeth, wondering once again how his friend had coaxed him into this shopping expedition. Part of it was because Lizzy had forced him to come with the threat of telling his parents about the porn hidden under his bed while the other part was because of the promised sweets. Either way, Ciel was up against a losing battle and in end, had accepted the demand without much fuss.

"Ciel, you're so lucky," Elizabeth commented and sighed wistfully as he drew closer to her. She waved the CD that she was holding in his face. "You know that right? You're sitting on such a great opportunity and everyone would kill to be you right now."

A low chuckle left Ciel's throat and he plucked the CD case from her hand, looking over the cover. "So you've told me every time he releases a new album. And then you proceed to tell me how dreamy he is and how sexy he is. That he has a voice to die for and you would do anything to meet him." The object was placed back on the display case before it was snatched up by Elizabeth again. "It's not my fault he records under my family's business," he teased.

She batted him away with a small pout. "So modest, aren't you. But you've meet him before right? I mean, you're taking over the business when your father retires and you practically live at the recording study so you have to have met him before."

Ciel nodded and followed Elizabeth as she moved deeper into the music section, looking for some headphones so she could sample the music. "I've meet him before. Several times actually."

"And you're just now telling me this why?" She asked, voice pitching slightly at the realization.

"You never asked," Ciel answered with a wolfish grin. "I can't help it if you don't ask the right questions."

Elizabeth clicked her tongue. "You're so mean to me."

Ciel rolled his eyes. "I'm mean to you? You're the one who blackmailed me. Threatening to tell my parents my secret." He shook his head. "I think we're even by that account."

"Why are you so strung up and worried about it? It's just porn. Every male has at least some small stash." She slipped the headphones over her ears and pushed one to the side so she could still talk to Ciel. "I think your father would be worried if you didn't have one. Even considering your preference in gender."

Ciel tugged on the cord of the headphones, pulling Elizabeth closer. "Because it's not just porn, its DIE porn," he hissed.

Mascara outlined eyes widened and her mouth opened into a neat 'O' as the realization hit. Elizabeth stared at Ciel for several seconds before finally squeaking out. "You have DIE porn?"

A pale hand shot forward, curling around Elizabeth's mouth. "Not so loud," Ciel snapped, looking over his shoulder to make sure no one could hear them before turning his attention back to Elizabeth. "Yes, I have it. I bought an official DVD from them two months ago."

"How was it?" Elizabeth whispered in awe, music forgotten for the time being.

"Awesome," Ciel answered, lust pooling in his veins at the mere thought of it. "I've never come so hard in my life from watching that."

Elizabeth flushed and pushed Ciel's hand to the side. "Right. Moving on, because I really don't want to hear about that from you. Awkward." She turned her attention back to the music in her hand to get her mind off the mental image.

Grumbling, Ciel looked at the CD's around them. "That's why I agreed to go with you. If it was anything but that, I wouldn't have cared, but I'm not about to risk having my parents find out about that."

"I can see why," Elizabeth sniffed. "Your parents would kill you. You know the controversy that surrounds that company."

Ciel nodded absently. He didn't need Elizabeth to remind him of just how much trouble he could get into with his parents if they discovered it. Descending into Ecstasy or DIE, as it was called by everyone, was a successful porn company that had been around for years, drawing in everyone from fans to critics alike. It drew controversy across the board for its racy and borderline content, things that could be considered illegal but the company was always able to find a loophole.

The company was flexible, catering to nearly every kink and fetish listed and never favoring one sexual preference over the other. Their DVD's featured something for everyone and was always in high demand. But it was due to DIE's wide range of selection that drew negative attention as well and it often made the news when a new series was released.

People protested the selling of such DVD's, claiming that they were too violent or risqué. Parents didn't want their children getting a hold of the DVD's in fear that they would try to repeat some of the scenes that were on the shows and loudly stated that they were made by a demon. For only a demon could think of such a sinful program.

But sex sells and despite all the criticism and negative attention, sales were still increasing and the company continued to produce, meaning they had to be doing something right. It didn't help that no one knew who owned the company, so even if the government wanted to close it down, they didn't know where to start. There were rumors about who owned the company and it was those rumors that helped to further increase sales. No one knew who headed the company but whoever it was, they were smart.

DVD's weren't sold online from the company, as everything on the internet could be traced these days. Instead, the material was delivered to sex shops at random intervals by hand and the money was exchanged there. From there, it was anyone's guess as to who the money went to and the owners of the sex shops were staying quiet. DIE DVD's were a source of income for them and the few that sold them were more successful than those who didn't carry them.

It had taken Ciel almost six months before he could finally purchase his first DVD. It had taken even longer even longer to track down someone he could buy it from but Ciel finally found a shop selling them in the city next to his and from there, it was just about waiting for a shipment to come in. They were delivered randomly to avoid a pattern and it had made that wait even longer for Ciel.

But getting his hands on an official DVD had been worth the wait and that night Ciel was able to experience just why the shows were so sought after. They were hot and arousing, shattering all the boundaries Ciel had set for himself in the span of an hour and a half. He couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly about them, but the DVD's were like a drug and Ciel craved more.

A loud clap of thunder overhead pulled Ciel from his thoughts and he quickly shook his head to clear his mind before he embarrassed himself in the bookstore. He glanced out the windows, sighing as the rain was still coming down in sheets. Next to him, Elizabeth was still sampling the music and Ciel tugged at her arm, tired of standing still.

"Come on, you know you're going to buy the CD anyway and listen to it on the way home in the car so what's the point of standing here the whole time?" He asked. "Go buy it so we can get a coffee and sit down. My feet hurt."

Elizabeth huffed at him but plucked the CD off the shelf and headed towards the checkout line. "So what's he like, Ciel?" She questioned. "You said you met him several times before so you have to know what he's like."

A small hum left Ciel's throat. "Well, he's cocky and kinda arrogant. And the rumors about him being a flirt are true. He'll hit on anything with two legs and he's not meticulous on his gender either. Although I see him with more guys than anything." He shrugged and tried to look nonchalant, knowing that he was leaving out the one thing Elizabeth wanted to know.

"But is he as hot in person? He's damn sexy on these CD covers and his posters, but that can be Photoshop-ed," Elizabeth stated, tugging lightly on Ciel's arm. "Tell me Ciel, please."

Ciel turned to look at her, his voice lowering slightly. "He's sexier in person," he answered, voice growing husky.

Elizabeth giggled behind her hand. "You want to sleep with him," she accused before stepping up to the register.

"Wouldn't you want to?" Ciel countered as he looked at the familiar cover. Golden eyes pierced his and Ciel shivered slightly, wondering what it would be like to have that intense gaze focused on him during sex.

A pretty flush spread across Elizabeth's face and she coughed lightly as the bag was handed to her. Thanking the man, they moved towards the coffee shop where Ciel grabbed a table close to the window so he could watch the rain while Elizabeth placed their orders. She came back moments later with two warms drinks and placed Ciel's before him.

Once she sat down, she leaned forward on the table and glanced at him. "I have a favor to ask," she started.

"No," Ciel answered without missing a beat. "I agreed to a favor last time and now here I am, shopping with you. I'm not doing it again."

Elizabeth twisted the wrapper from her straw around her finger. "At least hear me because I think you'll like it and possibly benefit from it." She waited until Ciel let out a long-suffering sigh before waving her on. "As you know, my birthday is in two weeks, hence the shopping trip today. Wouldn't it be great if you could him to come perform at the party?"

Ciel nearly spit out his drink at the words. Clearing his throat, he leveled his eyes at her. "Why in the world would I do something like that for you?" He asked. "I said I've met him a couple times. That doesn't mean we're best friends or anything."

"But this will give you a chance to approach him and talk with him. Who knows what can come from that," Elizabeth pointed out. "Plus, if you can get him to agree to this, I'll personally pay for another DIE DVD for you." A smirk spread across her lips at the way Ciel twitched slightly at the mention of the company.

Grumbling lowly, Ciel leaned back in his chair and sipped at his drink. "Fine. I'll ask but that doesn't mean he'll say yes. He's supposed to come in on Monday to talk about his new album that he's been working on."

Elizabeth bounced excitedly in her seat. "Oh, Ciel thank you!" She exclaimed happily. "If you can get him to come this party will be the talk of the college. Everyone will be there and they'll talk about it for months to come."

"Sure they will," Ciel answered, trying to sound uninterested but his interest was already peaked. If he played his cards right, there was a chance that Ciel could win more than just a DVD and that was something that interested Ciel greatly.

"Oh they will," Elizabeth chirped and tapped a manicured nail on the table, her smile growing wider. "Because everyone loves him and you said so yourself, Claude Faustus is one sexy and hot specimen."

\-------

Ciel rocked back and forth on the balls of his heels as he waited for Claude to finish recording the lyrics of a new song. The older male had been in the recording study for almost an hour, trying to perfect the song and was just about to finish, giving Ciel plenty of time to ogle the man. Ciel's father was the one who found the man almost three years ago and had taken the chance to contract him. That gamble had paid off handsomely and now Claude was an international star.

His looks sold just as well as his music did, making him all the more successful and the more dangerous. The man was known as a flirt and it made Ciel wonder just how many people Claude had bedded in the past. His current interest was a blond haired male around the same age as Ciel named Alois. The male was outside in the hall, currently sulking at not being allowed in the recording study because he caused too big of a distraction the last time he was there.

But it gave Ciel the perfect chance to approach Claude and Ciel waited patiently for the older male to leave the recording booth. He gave a small smile to Claude and shivered when the older male winked teasingly at him.

"Hello little Phantomhive," he purred, tugging his glasses off as he stalked closer. "What can I do for you?"

"Who said I need anything from you?" Ciel asked, swallowing heavily as Claude circled around him.

Claude chuckled lowly. "Because you've waiting here patiently this whole time and I could feel your eyes on me. You were listening to my music yes, but you were also thinking other things."

Ciel flushed, embarrassed that Claude had noticed such a thing. "I was waiting for you to finish because I have a question for you," he said instead.

"Continue," Claude answered.

"A childhood friend of mine is having a birthday party in a few weeks and she wanted to know if you could perform at the party," Ciel commented. "I know it's not your typically venue but the college age group is the highest buyer of your CD's, so I figured it would be in your best interest to play a few songs there."

Claude hummed in thought, weighing the pros and cons to such a thing. "Where is this little party of hers?" He questioned finally.

Ciel grumbled, looking disgruntled. "My parents are holding it at our house since we're good friends with her family. They agreed to throw her a party seeing as we have a pool and our house is bigger than theirs."

"Pools are always nice until you have to get out and the air is slightly chilly. But I would presume that you would have heated towel racks close by," Claude teased but looked intrigued. "Very well. I don't see any harm in such a thing. My schedule is free and I always enjoy seeing my fans. Publicity is very good. Besides, it's a way to help your father and I owe him a good deal."

"So you'll come?" Ciel asked, wanting to make sure before he ran off to tell Elizabeth. A DIE DVD was on the line right now and he didn't want to risk the chance of losing that. At Claude's nod, Ciel beamed. "Thank you, this will mean a lot to her."

Chuckling, Claude watched as Ciel trotted out of the room and adjusted his glasses. "And somehow I get the feeling this will be something interesting for you too, little Phantomhive."

\-------

Music thumped and pulsed from the speakers while warm bodies moved around each other inside the large house. Black clad servers walked through the crowds, serving food on silver plates while the rest of the partygoers enjoyed the warm pool outside. Elizabeth stood in the middle of the party, beaming and talking happily with her friends like the social butterfly that she was. She was well liked in the college and watching her flirt around the floor with her friends made Ciel smile slightly.

He nursed a drink upstairs on the catwalk, overlooking the large open room that everyone was mingling in. Claude had yet to arrive but was due shortly as his band members were already at the house, enjoying the party and talking with everyone. It was a festive atmosphere and Ciel glanced at his watch before heading to his room so he could change out of his swim trunks and into normal clothes. He wouldn't be going back into the pool anytime soon and the damp trunks were giving him chills, even in the warm house.

Moving to the back of the house towards his bedroom, Ciel ran the towel over his hair one last time as he pushed the door open. He came to a stop just as he was about to toss the towel on the floor when he realized that there was someone already in his room, asleep on his bed. For a moment, Ciel felt as though he had just walked into the fairy tale 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears,' when the bears found the girl sleeping on their bed.

But it was no girl that slept heavily on his bed but instead a male. Sighing heavily, Ciel tossed the towel at the man, the wet cloth smacking him heavily on the head. There was no sound from the male as he shifted slowly on the bed and Ciel could feel his irritation rising even more. "No one is supposed to be upstairs," he said coolly. "Get up and leave my room now before I call for security."

The words seemed to sink in and the male finally lifted his head, hand reaching out blindly for something he had discarded on the blankets. They curled around small oval glasses and slipped them on before turning to look at Ciel. No words were offered and instead, crimson eyes gazed calmly at Ciel as silence settled in the room.

No words were needed, as Ciel instantly recognized the tired and unattractive features of Claude's brother, Sebastian Michaelis. His dark hair was messy from sleep, sticking up in odd places, and there was a red spot on the side of Sebastian's face where his cheek had been resting on his arm. His clothes were rumbled and as usual, the man just looked unkempt.

Ciel could feel red eyes piercing through him, gazing at him without a word and instantly Ciel was aware of his current state of dress. It wouldn't have bothered him to have Claude's eyes on him but Sebastian was nowhere the same as his older brother and Ciel didn't want the man looking at him in such a way.

"Get out," he spat. "Your job isn't to sleep whenever you get the chance. We don't pay you for that."

He watched as Sebastian sat up carefully and adjusted his wrinkled clothes before sliding off the bed. No words were exchanged as the man slipped out of his room, closing the door softly behind him. The room was bathed in silence and Ciel scowled as he picked up the discarded towel. Sebastian was the last person he had expected to run into, seeing as the older male usually kept to himself and stayed away from the limelight.

The man was mute, either by birth or because he refused to talk. Ciel didn't know, nor did he care to find out; Sebastian wasn't worth the effort. Ciel had bigger fish to hunt and Sebastian wasn't anyone he would go for. It was amazing how opposite Sebastian was compared to Claude. If he didn't know that they were related, then Ciel would never have guessed that they were brothers.

Whereas Claude was popular, attractive, and outgoing; Sebastian was a shadow, unattractive, and kept to himself. He was nothing more than a presence to be ignored and it was only because of his relationship to Claude that Ciel even knew the man existed. Sebastian helped to manage the equipment, making sure that everything was running properly. Because of that, he was at all the shows and recordings to make sure that everything went smoothly, and Ciel would often see Sebastian lingering in the shadows while Claude performed.

Shaking his head and slipping some pants on, Ciel finished changing quickly. There was no sense in worrying about the older male because he would just fade into the shadows again by the end of the night. The only person Ciel cared about seeing was Claude and the man was due to be singing soon.

Pulling a shirt over his head, Ciel trotted out of his room and back downstairs. The band was already set up and playing through a few chords while Claude talked to Elizabeth, her eyes shining brightly as she stood before him. A pleased smirk was on his face as Claude happily talked to her, enjoying the attention and subtly flirting with her until he was called to stage.

Giving her a wink and kiss to the back of her hand, Claude jogged up to the small stage that had been set up in the backyard and Ciel pushed his way through the crowd until he was standing next to Elizabeth.

"Ciel!" She shouted over the crowd. "This is the best birthday present you could give me. You're the best friend anyone could ask for. I actually talked to him and he kissed my hand." She shoved her hand at Ciel, looking dazed and pleased over a simple kiss.

Ciel rolled his eyes and shoved the hand away from his face. "You're hopeless, you know that," he answered but the small smile on his face gave away how he truly felt. "Just remember what you owe me for doing this."

Elizabeth nodded fiercely. "I think I should get you two DIE DVD's for this. It's better than I ever could've imagined and you're just the best friend in the whole world!" She tossed her arms around his shoulders, hugging him fiercely before planting a kiss on his cheek.

Ciel rubbed at his cheek, brushing away all evidence of such a thing as the band started to play. Small shivers worked their way up Ciel's spine as Claude started to sing and he swore those golden eyes were looking down at him the whole time. Ciel had been to concerts before that were in the area, being the son of the man who discovered Claude had its benefits but nothing compared to having the man play in his backyard.

Even though Claude was here for Elizabeth, he had only come because Ciel had asked him and in that sense, he was also doing this for Ciel. It made Ciel grin at the thought, feeling excited that the older male had agreed to and feeling as though he would have a good chance to get closer to Claude.

He glanced around, looking at the people around him who were enjoying the music and Ciel's eyes settled on a lone figure standing in the shadows of the stage. Ciel's lips curled slightly at the sight of Sebastian, even though the older male had cleaned up his appearance some after his nap, he still looked disheveled and out of place. There was no way that Sebastian could ever compare to Claude.

The man's clothes hung loosely on his body, making him look scrawny and weak. His glasses sat crookedly on his face, as though the frames were bent and Sebastian didn't care to fix them and Ciel could only click his tongue at the sight. Even if Sebastian somehow cleaned up, he doubted the older male would compare to his brother. There was just no comparing the two.

Ciel disregarded Sebastian and turned his attention back to Claude, feeling the small crowd around him surge as Claude started singing a new song. The volume around him rose and several students near him tried to sing along, making things that much more enjoyable and in the end Sebastian Michaelis was easily forgotten.

\-------

It was late that night when everyone finally went home, leaving a mess that needed to be cleaned up before going to bed. The band members were already packing their instruments into the proper cases while Sebastian supervised the removal of the other equipment that littered the stage. Claude was sipping on a bottle of water when Ciel approached him, glancing briefly at Sebastian before turning his attention to the older of the two brothers.

"Thank you again for coming out tonight to perform for Lizzy. She had a great time," Ciel stated, grabbing a bottle of water for himself before settling next to Claude on a barstool. They watched as the staff moved around them, cleaning up the mess quickly and efficiently.

Claude waved his hand after capping the bottle. "It was no problem. She was a sweet girl and I enjoy catering to my fans from time to time." His eyes slid to the side. "How did you like the performance?"

Ciel smiled. "It was a lot of fun and it was amazing to watch you perform, especially to such a small venue. I didn't have to fight off a horde of people to watch you." He chuckled lowly and shifted on his chair.

"I can imagine that that would make it hard to enjoy a concert," Claude commented with a small laugh and he patted Ciel's leg before let his hand rest there. "But I'm glad you were able to enjoy this performance. We should spend more time together."

"Oh?" Ciel asked, his body shivering slightly under the touch before jumping as a loud crash pulled his attention to the stage and Claude's hand jerked away from his leg.

Growling lowly, Claude pushed his glasses up and stood from his chair before striding towards the stage where Sebastian was quickly putting microphones back into the box he had been carrying. "Sebastian," he hissed and pulled the younger male to his feet. "Why are you always so clumsy at the worst possible times?"

Sebastian was silent even though his eyes spoke of defiance as he glared at Claude. Red and gold eyes clashed as they held each other's gaze before Claude finally backed down and Sebastian knelt once more to pick up the microphones. The younger male ignored Claude's furious glare, even going as far to smirk when his head was bowed so Claude couldn't see the gesture.

With a hiss of annoyance, Claude made his way back to Ciel and sat heavily on the chair again. "My brother is nothing but a waste of space. I'm sure you've seen him around once or twice, even though he's as invisible as a ghost."

Ciel nodded. "I've seen him before and stumbled across him earlier today. He was passed out on my bed before I kicked him out."

Claude scoffed. "He's a nobody, you can just ignore him and I apologize that he dirtied your room with his presence." He tore his gaze from Sebastian and focused on Ciel once more. "He's a murderer, did you know that?"

The bottle of water nearly fell from Ciel's hand at the words and he snapped his head to look at Claude. "He killed someone?" He asked, voice pitching slightly.

Claude nodded. "He killed our parents," he stated. "First our mother when he was born. It was a hard birth for her and they couldn't stop the bleeding. She died of blood loss shortly after birth. I was five at the time. After that, my father couldn't bear to look at him and when I was eight and Sebastian was three, our father took his life because he couldn't stand the thought of continuing without her. Sebastian looked too much like our mother and it killed him every time he had to look at him."

Ciel grunted. "I'm sure your mother looked far more attractive than Sebastian," he commented sourly. A part of him felt that it wasn't fair to call Sebastian a murderer because of something he did when he was a baby, but he wasn't about to admit those words aloud.

There was a moment of silence before Claude laughed and ruffled Ciel's hair. "I like your sense of humor," he said, chuckling to himself. "But our mother was beautiful, I remember that much. Sebastian has her eyes and face, but he could never compare to her beauty. He took her maiden name though as a way to remember her."

"I guess that was nice of him," Ciel answered and leaned slightly against Claude, feeling tired. "So what does he do between recording sessions? We only pay him for the day's he works and he can't live on that alone."

Claude hummed as Sebastian came back into the room, crimson eyes darting to look at them before focusing on the stage once more. There was a sense of annoyance on his face as well as impatience, as though Sebastian had to be somewhere and he wanted to be anywhere but there. "I have no idea actually. He obviously doesn't tell me and we barely see each other despite being brothers. We're not close, if you haven't guessed already."

Ciel nodded, having already figured that out for himself. It was obvious that Claude hated Sebastian and held him responsible for the death of their parents. It was sad that things were so bad between them, but Ciel found it hard to feel bad for Sebastian, seeing as the man wasn't doing anything to make his life better.

"He probably does something lame," Ciel finally said. "Works at some cheap store or something."

Claude chuckled. "Well, he does have a business degree, I can say that much. So maybe he works at a company nearby, although I don't know who would want to hire him. Even if he did graduate with a 4.0."

"Nerd," Ciel coughed, making Claude laugh even more.

"I like you, little Phantomhive," Claude claimed, draping his arm over Ciel's shoulder and pulling him closer. His eyes lowered slightly as he turned his head to look at Ciel. "And if I'm correct, you like me as well. You find me very attractive," he purred.

Ciel shivered as hot air washed over his ear and neck, making chills race through his body. "What if I am?" He asked, glancing at Claude from the corner of his eye, his voice dropping a few octaves. "Do you find me attractive as well?"

Claude smirked and let his fingers trail down Ciel's leg. "I do," he answered and his hand came back up to rest near Ciel's groan. "I have a proposal for you."

"I'm listening," Ciel answered, finding it hard to think with Claude's hand so close to his groin.

The older male leaned closer, lips brushing against the shell of Ciel's ear. "If you find out what Sebastian does during recording sessions, I'll reward you with a night of pleasure. Pleasure you won't find with anyone else," he murmured.

Ciel moaned as the hand palmed his cock through his pants, giving a small taste of Claude was offering. "I think I can manage that," he answered and nearly whimpered when the hand pulled away. "You'll have your answer soon enough."

"Perfect," Claude commented and leaned away from Ciel, making it look as though nothing had ever happened between them. "But not a word of this to my dear baby brother. He's to remain unaware of this deal between us. Don't want him to get jealous that I'm getting all the gorgeous people for myself when he's probably still a virgin."

Ciel chuckled, finding himself agreeing with the comment. There was no way Sebastian had been laid before and he silently pitied the man for that. But the pity was short lived as he found himself growing excited for the days to come. He wanted to find out what Sebastian was hiding and bring it to light, gaining Claude's attention. To Ciel, Sebastian was nothing more than a stepping-stone on his path to Claude; a pawn. And Ciel always did love a good game.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun was shining and the weather was much warmer a week later as Ciel walked with Elizabeth through the neighborhood. The sun felt good on Ciel's skin and was resting high in the sky despite the late hour. Dusk was slowly approaching and Ciel found himself excited for the sun to finish setting. Claude had given Ciel the address that Sebastian was staying at and after watching the place for close to four days, Ciel had come to the conclusion that Sebastian didn't do anything.

The curtains were always drawn and the man never left the apartment building he was staying in. It made Ciel wonder what the hell Sebastian was up to, as he couldn't get any closer than that. He couldn't just randomly appear at Sebastian's doorstep, asking if he could come in. He could but it would arouse suspicion and if the outside of the apartment building was anything to go by, then Ciel didn't want to set foot inside the place. It looked dirty and rundown, and Ciel could only imagine the type of people that lived there.

It made Ciel realize why Claude didn't know anything about his brother, as Sebastian seemed to shut everyone out and kept to himself. And Ciel was starting to understand that he was being faced with a much harder task than he first thought possible. The only time Ciel had seen Sebastian outside his apartment during the day was when the man had to come into work that day to set up the equipment and help shot a music video. But the moment the shoot finished and everything was cleaned up, Sebastian had vanished back to his apartment before Ciel even realized he was gone.

But last night, through sheer luck, Ciel had had seen Sebastian exit the building a little after the sun had set. It was simply dumb luck that Ciel had fallen asleep in the car and woke up to a text message moments before Sebastian left. After seeing the man outside of his apartment so late at night, Ciel came to the conclusion that whatever Sebastian did with his life, it happened at night. With that thought on his mind, Ciel had a new plan of attack and one that he was anxious to try.

They rounded the corner and came to a stop as Elizabeth's dog sniffed a patch of grass, tugging at the leash to get closer. Elizabeth let out a sigh as the dog sniffed around the area and turned to look at Ciel. "You know, I had heard that DIE DVD's are hard to find and get a hold of, but I didn't expect them to be this hard," she said lowly.

Ciel chuckled. "At least I told you where to look. That was the hardest part for me because not every shop sells them and they don't directly advertise that they do. You have to find out by word of mouth and hope that the rumors are right. Not only that, but the owners won't tell you up front that they sell it unless they know you're not going to rat them out." He ran a hand through his hair. "But it's worth it in the end. And once they know you, then you're good."

Elizabeth nodded. "Yeah, I noticed. I just had to mention your name and the person pulled up your account. I would never have thought to go under an alias just to buy them either."

"It's better that way in case something ever happens to their cliental list. Wouldn't want the real names leaked to the public. I'm sure some influential names buy those DVD's," Ciel answered as they started to walk again. "Did you look at some while you were there?"

She flushed. "I asked to look at one of their magazines to see what the hype was about and the owner was more than happy to show me a few pages of a sample one that had been released." She gave a weak chuckle. "They were very...um…graphic," she said with a small cough.

Ciel smirked. "They're the best for a reason," he answered. "And I'll make sure that you get me the next DVD that is released. Every season they produce comes with a small teaser for the upcoming videos that will be released and yeah…I'll spare your virgin ears."

Elizabeth elbowed him in the side. "My ears aren't virgins, thank you very much. I might be but that doesn't mean I'm innocent to the sexual world around me." She glared at him. "I just haven't tasted pleasure yet like you have."

"Moving on," Ciel commented, not at all in the mood to talk with Elizabeth about his sexual experiences in the past. He was no longer a virgin and had lost that a few years back but it had been nothing to cry over. "What are your plans for the rest of summer now that your big party is over?"

"I'm not sure," Elizabeth answered. "We're leaving for our family trip in a few days so I'll be gone for a month. After that, I don't have the faintest idea. You?"

Ciel smirked as they came to a stop in front of Elizabeth's house. "I have my own plans. Hopefully when you come back I'll have a story or two to tell," he stated. He offered a small smile and waved Elizabeth away, knowing that he needed to get going soon if he was to make it to Sebastian's apartment in time. "Have a good night, Lizzy."

She waved goodbye to him and Ciel continued along his way. His bag was already packed for the mission tonight and the moment Ciel reached his driveway, he climbed into the car. After being denied so long, Ciel was about to find out what Sebastian was hiding and then Ciel would receive his reward. With that thought in mind, Ciel started the engine and guided the car down the road.

It was a familiar path now, one that Ciel had been taking for the past few days and he arrived in no time. Parking in his usual spot, Ciel turned the car off and glanced at the clock, waiting the sun to set. He hoped that nothing had changed today and that Sebastian hadn't changed his schedule last minute. Ciel didn't bother to watch Sebastian during the day today, knowing that the man wouldn't do anything.

Keeping his eyes trained on the building, Ciel was rewarded minutes later after the clock struck eight and Sebastian left through the front door. He was dressed in the same baggy clothes that Ciel was used to seeing them in and Ciel waited for a moment to give Sebastian enough of a head start before leaving the car.

The small bag was slipped over his shoulders and Ciel moved forward smoothly, never once losing sight of Sebastian on the sidewalk. There were still plenty of people on the streets, making it easy to blend in and Ciel made sure to stay far enough back that he wasn't discovered. Behind him, the sun continued to sink lower as Sebastian walked further away from his apartment and Ciel found himself wondering where they were going.

Sebastian's apartment was already on the edge of town, but with the distance they were covering, they would soon be in the old business district. It was an older part of town that had once been heavily populated with businesses before the markets tumbled, taking the companies with them and making them move to a different part of the city. The area was in the process of being torn down and converted into a large mall with the hopes of drawing income to the area once more.

It was harder to follow Sebastian now as the flow of people was considerably less and Ciel found that he had to walk further and further back to avoid detection. It was hard but the thrill of the chase had Ciel's adrenaline flowing until at last, Sebastian stopped before a building. He glanced up at it before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking around the building.

The older male vanished into a side road that had been formed between two tall buildings and Ciel moved forward cautiously. He knew which building Sebastian was going into and once he reached the narrow road, carefully poked his head around the corner. The space was empty and Ciel continued down the road, staying on alert in case Sebastian suddenly came out of the shadows.

But the area stayed quiet and Ciel found himself standing before a side door to the building that Sebastian had looked at before turning the corner. It had to be this building, unless Sebastian knew that he was being followed and he purposely tricked Ciel into believing that this was the correct building. But there was no way the older male could've known that Ciel had been following him. Ciel had been invisible during his entire trip.

Taking in a deep breath, Ciel pushed open the door and listened for an alarm in case he had to run. But no sound came from the door and Ciel stepped inside, letting the door close silently behind him. The building was quiet and Ciel made his way to the stairwell, seeing as no one was on the first floor. The second and third stories proved to be empty and Ciel found himself growing anxious, wondering if perhaps Sebastian had tricked him.

He climbed two more flights of steps before the sound of a whip cracking met Ciel's ears and he froze. Suddenly he wasn't sure about his plan of following Sebastian and he realized he hadn't exactly thought his plan all the way through. What if Sebastian was involved in something illegal? If Ciel was caught, they could do anything to him.

Swallowing hard, Ciel pushed the thoughts from his head. There was no way someone like Sebastian would be involved in such a thing. It was impossible, seeing as the man was so invisible and Ciel laughed lightly at himself to take off the growing edge. Another flight of steps was climbed and this time, Ciel could hear more sounds with each step he climbed.

They were oddly familiar and it wasn't until Ciel was near the doorway that he realized they were the sounds of sex. Pure, unrestrained noises echoed throughout the room just beyond the wall Ciel was hiding from and the mere sound of it drew Ciel's curiosity. Throwing caution to the wind, Ciel molded himself to the wall and slowly slipped around the corner.

The air smelt of sex and was hot from the bright lights that burned further back in the room while two people were engaged in a far from innocent act. A third person stood to the side, wearing nothing but high boots and tight leather pants, while the handle of a whip tapped the side of his leather clad leg.

Cameras were positioned before the three men who seemed lost in their own worlds while other people rushed around behind the cameras, making sure to avoid the cords and cables that stretched across the floor. Umbrellas to control the lights were set up strategically around the room and boxes filled with props were placed further behind them.

The crack of whip made Ciel jump and he nearly moaned at the deep voice that spoke as the man holding the whip walked over to the two figures on the floor. "I didn't say you could come yet," he said lowly, sending shivers racing through Ciel's body and making lust pool low in his body. He pressed himself further against the wall, using it to keep himself anchored as the clothed man continued to talk.

He had been on set many times before during photo shoots and the making of a music video to know what was going on before him. But instead of dealing with music or pictures, these people were shooting something far more lewd. Ciel's breath hitched as he continued to stare at the sight before him with wide eyes, trying to take everything in at once.

It was a busy set; one that Ciel was still having trouble believing even though he was seeing it right before his eyes. The sheer amount of people that were running around was amazing and Ciel wondered if this was going on directly above him as well. He wanted to look but Ciel was still glued to the wall, scared to move in fear of being noticed.

Ciel's eyes glanced around again and he felt his body stiffen as his gaze settled on a familiar logo that was printed on the wall behind the actors. It was the same logo that marked the cover of official DIE merchandise and was found on every DVD disc. That was the only way to tell the difference between an official and fake. It was hard to replicate the holograph seal and Ciel traced the design with his eyes even though he knew the patter by heart.

An upside down star carefully nestled in a circle while letters circled around it. It was a demonic symbol, another reason why DIE created so much controversy but the symbol made it stand apart from the rest. It did nothing to hamper sales and Ciel could only stare at it, barely believing what was right before his eyes.

It was unbelievable enough that he had stumbled across a porn set, but to stumble across DIE's porn set was mind numbing. Never had Ciel believed he would find the infamous DIE Company not even an hour from his house. It seemed unreal and Ciel found that he had to see more, had to know if there was more. All thoughts of Sebastian fled his mind as Ciel made his way back into the stairwell, climbing up to the next floor.

The floor was occupied, as Ciel had expected, but a different scene played out on this floor. This time it was a scene between a man and a woman, the sounds loud between them as they were already engaged in the main act. Ciel ignored them and continued moving up the flights of steps, growing closer and closer to the top.

With each level, Ciel was met with something different and he found his fascination growing even more. All the scenes were different; the only thing linking them together was the familiar symbol that was painted elegantly across the back of the set. It wasn't until Ciel reached the second floor from the top that he recognized one of the actors.

The male had been shown briefly in the previews and Ciel paused in the doorway to watch the man; The Undertaker, Ciel believed he was called. Long gray hair was pulled into a messy ponytail as The Undertaker talked to the cameraman while a redhead sprawled out lazily on the set behind him. A simply black robe covered The Undertaker's body and he turned to the side slightly to accept a bottle of water.

Ciel gasped and bolted for the safety of the shadows as the man looked in his direction. Green eyes barely blinked and an alarm was never sounded as Ciel pressed himself against the wall, heart racing in fear. Several minutes passed as the set was changed to match what the script asked for and with each passing moment, Ciel found himself relaxing. He pushed away from the wall and poked his head around the wall only to have black bag forced over his head.

He screamed in panic, fighting back against the hands that held him and tried to wiggle free. He was no match though for the people who held onto him as they forced him forward and into the room, making Ciel realize just how quiet it was.

"Is this the person you saw?" A rough voice asked.

There was a small giggled before another voice answered. "That's him. Although I didn't expect for him to be so young…or small for that matter."

Ciel squirmed at the words and struggled more. "Let me go," he said weakly. "I won't tell anyone, I promise."

A tongue clicked in discontent. "Afraid that's not up to us pet," The Undertaker answered, tapping a long nail against Ciel's cheek before pulling back. "Take him up to see the boss."

Ciel opened his mouth to argue but found his body being lifted up and his struggles increased even more. Fear bubbled in stomach, making him fight all the harder. He didn't know what would come from this and he cursed himself for letting his curiosity get the better of him. If only he had stopped at the first floor instead of wanting to see more, then he wouldn't be in this mess. Who knew what they would do to him now.

A door opened and Ciel stiffened at the silence around him as the people holding him moved down what Ciel believed was a hallway. It was too quiet and his breath caught as a door was opened, warmth rushing over his body. Soft music floated around the room but it was cut off as the door closed behind them and Ciel found himself kneeling on the ground, waiting for whatever was to come next and trembling all the harder for it.

\-------

When the doors burst open to the office, Sebastian glanced up from his computer, pausing the video he had been editing. His eyes gazed at the men who stood before him and then to the person they held. An eyebrow rose slightly and Sebastian stood up, circling around the desk as crimson eyes settled at the young male in his employee's hands.

He was surprised to see Ciel Phantomhive kneeling before him and a small smirk crossed his face, wondering what fun he could have with the younger male.

"What's this?" He voice purred and Ciel gasped at the husky tone. "Have we caught ourselves a little mouse today?"

"He has a bag," the first male answered and hands tore at the bag Ciel wore before tossing it across the room.

It was caught easily and set on the desk. "Leave us. I'll get to the bottom of this little problem." Sebastian dug through the desk drawers, pulling out an object while the two men left, closing the door softly behind them.

"Stay on your knees and put your hands behind your back," Sebastian stated as he stalked towards Ciel. When Ciel didn't move, his hand shot forward and grabbed the bag, yanking Ciel's head back. "You would be wise to do as I say."

A whimper escaped Ciel's mouth and he hurried to do as he was told. The moment he did, the hand in his hair released its grip and the click of cold handcuffs curled around his wrists. He winced as the bag was removed from his head, giving him a brief view of the office he was in before a soft cloth covered his eyes. It was tied firmly behind his head, leaving Ciel in the darkness once more.

"Who are you?" Ciel asked, turning his head to look at the person behind him.

Sebastian didn't answer and instead walked around him, stopping before the desk. Objects were shifted around and the zipper undone on Ciel's bag before silence filled the room. "My name isn't important to you, Ciel," Sebastian finally answered, looking at Ciel's ID card in his wallet before setting it aside. "But if you wish to call me something, you can call me…Jeremy."

It had been an old name Sebastian had used once before on the first fake ID card he made and while Sebastian would've preferred to have Ciel calling his name, he couldn't exactly blow his cover. He was supposed to be mute and invisible during the day as to avoid detection from Claude. It made things easier that way and allowed Sebastian to move around with ease at night.

He had shunned the spotlight for the shadows instead of embracing it as Claude had. Sebastian found the limelight overrated and had discovered that the shadows had more fun. No one could see what happened in them, allowing him to do anything he wanted without fear of people knowing his secrets. Here, he wasn't the unattractive and unkempt equipment manager that everyone ignored during the day.

Instead, he was allowed to act himself, wear the clothes that actually fit and be able to look in the mirror without hating his reflection. It was no secret that Sebastian hated the lie he was forced to live during the day. That act was nothing more than a façade; something to keep himself from drawing Claude's anger and was part of a deal. A deal that Sebastian was forced to carry out every day.

Ciel scoffed. "That's not your name."

"Of course it's not. As though I would give you my real name. Names hold power," Sebastian answered and stepped closer before kneeling before Ciel. "Now, Ciel. Why are you here? Who sent you?"

"Is this really DIE?" Ciel blurted out, unable to contain himself anymore. He had to know, even after seeing the symbol; he needed to hear the words.

Sebastian blinked and leaned back on his heels, an amused expression crossing his face. "I believe I asked you a question first but if you wish to play a game, I'm all for that. If you answer my question first, I'll a question of yours, depending on the answer you give me."

Ciel nodded, knowing that the ball was in his court. He had to answer before he could get an answer himself. "I was following someone and they led me here. No one sent me; I stumbled across this place by accident."

"Who were you following?" Sebastian asked.

Ciel shook his head. "It's your turn to answer my question," he stated boldly.

Clicking his tongue, Sebastian stood up. "Your answer doesn't warrant that type of answer from me," he commented. "In order to get an answer to a steep question, you have to give an answer of equal value."

Scowling, Ciel ignored the man as he circled around him and flinched as a soft finger stroked down the side of his cheek. "I was following a Sebastian Michaelis," he snapped and the hand pulled away. "Does a man by that name work here by any chance?"

"No," Sebastian answered, his curiosity peaked and he wondered why Ciel was following him. The younger male obviously didn't care for him and found it easier to look through him than acknowledge him. But Ciel only saw Claude, which was a shame, considering how much Sebastian noticed Ciel. "I know all the people who work under me. From every camera man to makeup artist, and there is no one by the name of Sebastian Michaelis on my payroll."

Ciel huffed. "But he went down the side road between this building and the one next to it. I don't know where else he could've gone. It was a dead end."

"The building next to this one is be set for demolition even as we speak," Sebastian stated, waving a hand. "As you know, this whole area is being torn down and this one is next on the list. Your Sebastian Michaelis is probably part of the construction crew who is working on the building next to us. At the end of the day, someone comes by to check the progress and that's probably what your man does."

Shoulders slumping, Ciel looked away, feeling disappointed but at the time he should've known that there was no way Sebastian was involved with something as lewd as this. "Now what?" He asked.

Sebastian hummed and moved away from Ciel to pick up a camera and a tripod. If Ciel had stumbled into his lair, it was only right that Sebastian have a little fun before letting the younger male go. It was obvious Ciel was a fan of DIE and Sebastian planned on using that to his advantage. There was always the rule that when one of the senses was cut off from the rest, the others became more sensitive and Sebastian wondered which of Ciel's senses were more attuned to the situation now.

"What all did you see downstairs, Ciel?" Sebastian finally asked, still tinkering with the camera.

Ciel swallowed, the mere thought of what he had seen was enough to make lust curl through his veins again. "I saw everything," he breathed and before he could stop himself, the words fell from his mouth.

Sebastian listened as Ciel told him of the scenes he had seen and the people acting in them, the props used and the symbols on each set that proudly claimed them as DIE. The more Ciel talked, the more Sebastian could see that the mere memory of everything was effecting him, making his cock twitch and his breathing come fast. Even the low chuckle that left Sebastian's mouth wasn't enough to stop the arousal. If anything, it helped to increase the lust

"It aroused you, didn't it?" Sebastian purred, his fingers brushing over Ciel's shoulder. They trailed down his chest and stopped at the hem of his shirt. "I arouse you."

Ciel shook slightly. "You have a very sexy voice," he answered shakily as the fingers brushed over his skin. "The image of you in my head is very attractive from your voice alone."

Sebastian blinked and nearly laughed aloud at the irony of the whole situation. During the day, Ciel would never say those words to him because of the way he dressed and looked, because he was mute. But now, just the mere sound of his voice was enough to have Ciel's cock straining against his pants. "What if I was ugly looking but happened to have a nice voice?" He asked.

"There's no way you look unattractive," Ciel answered and struggled against the handcuffs, wanting to touch the other male. "I'm sure you're hot. You have to be if you work at a porn company. Can you at least tell me what you look like?"

The question made Sebastian pause before he shrugged. It was possible he was playing with fire, but seeing as Ciel never gave him a second glance in the real world, he found no harm in it. "I'm a couple inches taller than you and have dark hair." He glanced at the glasses on his desk before continuing. "I wear glasses at times when I need to read a lot to keep my eyes from straining."

The words formed an image for Ciel and for a moment, he pictured Sebastian in a proper fitting suit and hair combed before he burst out laughing. He doubted Sebastian could ever clean up that nicely and the mental picture changed into something else, even though Ciel found that it still had a likeness to Sebastian.

"What's so funny?" Sebastian asked curiously, leaning against the desk.

"I just thought about the guy I was following. He's rather unattractive and well, I just pictured him for a brief second for some unknown reason," Ciel answered, shaking his head.

A frown settled on Sebastian's face and he made his way back to Ciel's side. "What makes him unattractive?"

Ciel shrugged. "He's just…weird. He doesn't seem to care about his appearance and he's always hiding in the shadows. He doesn't talk and just…I don't know." It seemed weird that Ciel couldn't find the words to describe why he believed Sebastian was unattractive when that belief was just based on his looks. His parents always told him to look beyond the surface, which was how his father discovered Claude in the first place. But compared to Claude, Sebastian just looked scruffy.

"What's wrong with the shadows?" Sebastian murmured and nibbled on Ciel's earlobe. "In the light, everyone sees you for what you want them to see you as, but in the shadows, you can show your true personality without fear of what people will think. Perhaps your Sebastian Michaelis has his reasons for acting…weird."

"I guess," Ciel answered distractedly as teasing lips moved down his neck. "Do you like the shadows?"

Sebastian smirked against the pale skin. "I love the shadows," he purred. "While this company may live in the light, it's a tainted light. Like that of a lunar eclipse. We're light that hides in the shadows, people know us but at the same time, they don't. An enigma."

Ciel trembled as fingers slipped under his shirt. "That's very thoughtful," he murmured and tilted his head to the side, giving more space for the sinful mouth against his neck.

"Should I stop?" Sebastian asked, his lips moving against Ciel's neck as he spoke. "Or would you rather me continue? Teasing you and further arousing you with my voice and touch, but never my appearance. Is it possible to want someone when you don't know what they look like?" He questioned.

"I'm willing to find out," Ciel whispered, surprising himself. The man's voice was too tempting and rich; he could make a nun sin with his voice alone.

Sebastian hummed and let his hand slide up underneath Ciel's shirt, the pads of his fingers skimming along pale skin. "If you're willing to find out, I'd rather not have you calling me Jeremy then," he murmured.

Ciel's eyes closed as fingers brushed over his nipple. "Then tell me a better name to call you by. We both know it's not real and I won't tell anyone your real name." He sucked in a breath. "Promise."

"I'd rather not take that chance," Sebastian answered and leaned forward, pressing against Ciel's chest. "But if you want to call out a name during this, you can call me Master," he breathed into Ciel's ear, lust racing through his veins at the mere thought of Ciel calling him master. It was better than nothing even though Sebastian wanted to hear his name falling from Ciel's lips. But perhaps in time.

A small whimper left Ciel's mouth as his shirt was tugged over his head, the blindfold still staying firmly around his head. He shivered in the cool room before warm hands were once more on his chest, thumbs swirling over his nipples until they were hard under the teasing touch. "What are you going to do?" He asked, slightly nervous despite his earlier words. This was someone he didn't know and despite the arousing voice, Ciel still had right to be concerned.

Sebastian shook his head even though Ciel couldn't see. "Nothing too much and you have the power to stop this any time you want. You just need to say the words," he purred as his nail scraped down Ciel's chest, brushing over a happy trail before skimming along Ciel's waistband. "Never forget that."

The younger male nodded in understanding and Sebastian reached down to pull Ciel to his feet. Ciel stumbled around, unsteady on his feet before Sebastian pulled him flush against his chest and reached down to palm the bulge that was straining against tight pants. A low chuckle left Sebastian's mouth as he continued to rub against the erection and Ciel bucked his hips forward, trying to get more friction.

"You're not new to this, are you?" Sebastian asked, his hands sliding up to pop the button on Ciel's pants and then undoing the zipper. He lowered the waistband slightly, waiting for Ciel's answer.

"No," Ciel answered, shaking his head. "I lost that a few years ago."

Sebastian clicked his tongue, disappointed with the fact but there was nothing he could do to change the past. "Then you're no stranger to pleasure," he murmured instead, his fingers dipping into Ciel's boxers. "Does it bother you if I touch you here?"

Ciel gasped and his back arched at the touch against his cock, making Sebastian smirk. It felt good to have Ciel in his arms this way, panting and squirming in pleasure. If only Ciel knew who held him and accepted that knowledge without feeling disgusted. But as it was, Ciel thought he was a nobody and Sebastian felt his good mood vanish. This was nothing more than a hollow victory, a bittersweet one.

But it was the only chance Sebastian would get to taste a fruit that was forbidden to him, and even though he knew he would regret it in the morning, Sebastian couldn't stop himself. His fingers circled around the throbbing erection, pulling it from the confines and enjoying the sounds that fell from Ciel's mouth.

"Keep going," Ciel panted, his hips thrusting into Sebastian's hand.

The words made Sebastian roll his hips forward, his erection pressing into Ciel's ass while his hand continued to stroke the hard cock with leisurely strokes. The slow pace made Ciel's head shake back and forth against Sebastian's chest while the younger male continued to buck into his hand. "Slowly," Sebastian murmured as his finger circled around the tip, smearing the precum around the swollen head.

He brought his hand up, slipping the fingers into Ciel's mouth and nearly groaned as the younger male lapped at them teasingly. Sebastian pulled his fingers away before Ciel could continue to tease him and wrapped them around the throbbing cock once more. He gave a light tease to the base of Ciel's cock before his hand started to move, alternating fast strokes with slow ones that had Ciel babbling incoherently.

"Please, I need…I need," he groaned, hips jerking as he tried to decide if he should push back against the older male's erection or thrust into the teasing hand. In the end, he settled for a mixture of both until a tight hand around his hips kept him for rocking back against the man.

"I know what you need," Sebastian answered, bowing his head and nipping at the skin while he continued to run his hand over Ciel's cock. He longed to take the begging cock into his mouth and tease it until the younger male came, but such a thing wasn't possible now. Instead, Sebastian could only do this and enjoy the short time that he would have with Ciel, for after this, he would never have Ciel in his arms again.

His hand moved faster, the precum making easier for his hand to pass over the hard flesh and with each pass of his hand, Ciel moaned louder and Sebastian could only watch Ciel's face twist in ecstasy. Beautiful was the word that came to Sebastian's mind as his strokes grew faster and Ciel's mouth fell open to pant heavily, cheeks flushed red. He wanted to capture the sight on film so he could remember everything, every last detail.

Ciel jerked against him as he teased the slit, pressing his finger into the sensitive spot and the simple action was Ciel's undoing. Crimson eyes watched Ciel's face carefully as the younger male came, taking in every expression until at last, Ciel slumped against him. Hips rolled forward weakly into Sebastian's hand and he gave one last teasing squeeze before letting his fingers slide away.

"You're really good at this," Ciel murmured, his head lolling against his shoulders.

He tilted his head back and Sebastian could easily imagine those blue eyes gazing at him, hazy with lust and want. He shook his head, breaking the illusion before it could get any worse and reached down to tuck the flaccid cock back into Ciel's pants. The button was quickly done back up and Sebastian patted Ciel's cheek. "I have to be. But no more for you. You've stumbled across something you weren't supposed to see and next time I won't be so forgiving."

Ciel shivered in Sebastian's arms. "Will you punish me next time?" He teased. "With a whip and everything?"

"There will be no next time, Ciel," Sebastian said lowly, his lips hovering above Ciel, wanting to take that final leap. He turned his head away at the last moment and gripped Ciel's arm tighter. "Time for you to leave," he stated, walking Ciel to the door.

Outside the office, the two men from before were waiting and Sebastian passed Ciel off to them. "Take him back to his home. His address is on his driver's license and then come back. We need to finish this by tonight."

"Yes boss," they answered promptly, accepting Ciel who went without a fuss. The younger male's head was nodding, trying to fight off sleep and failing as the late night hour was finally catching up to him.

Sebastian waited until they were in the stairwell before shutting the door behind him and moving towards the camera. He shut it off and ejected the memory card. Taking a seat behind his desk once more, the memory card was inserted to the card reader and Sebastian started to work, ignoring the door as it opened.

"Was that wise, Sebastian?" A soft voice asked.

Crimson eyes flickered to the side, taking in long gray hair. "It won't happen again. I was just weak."

The Undertaker walked towards the desk, hips swaying to the side. "You know you can always take us up on our offers. There are plenty of us who would care for you if you gave us the chance instead of yearning after someone who ignores you." He rested his hands on the surface. "Perhaps it's time to drop the act and let him see you for who you are. He's obviously attracted to your voice."

Sebastian chuckled weakly. "Is it possible for someone to fall for just that trait in someone? Never know what they look like but know that their voice is the one thing they lust for and not their looks?" He turned his head to the side. "Can you fall in love with a voice that's nothing but a shadow?"

"Sebastian," The Undertaker cooed, reaching forward and cupping Sebastian's face. "I think it's time you dropped the act. It's not good for you anymore. It's tearing you up inside."

The hands were brushed away. "I can't. I can't do that and you know it," Sebastian said. "That part of my life is out of my control, no matter how much I wish to have it back. Besides, he won't find me again so there's nothing to worry about." He turned his attention back to the computer, pushing aside the pain and hoping that it would stay away so that no one could see it. He couldn't afford to be weak. Not right now, not with the release date so close at hand. He needed to stay strong and focused.

He needed to get Ciel out of his mind.


	3. Chapter 3

The sun was setting low into the sky two days later as Ciel made his way back to the demolition site, hoping to sneak in again. He wanted to hear that low, seductive voice whispering in his ear and to feel that hot touch against his skin. Ciel had his excuse this time, as the man never answered his question. While Ciel was almost one hundred percent certain that he had stumbled across DIE, he wanted to hear the man in charge say those words.

He had hoped that after a day, his head would quiet down and he would forget the touches to his body, but to no avail. The touches ghosted along his skin, making him horny and aroused throughout the day and when Ciel woke up on the second day, it was to a wet dream. After that, Ciel knew that he had to go back to see the man, or at least hear him. He needed more, craved more.

Already Ciel was addicted and his thirst wouldn't be sated until he knew the person who aroused him in such a way. It was just as the man asked, was it possible to fall for someone by their voice alone? Ciel was certainly willing to try and he was more than eager to find out. The deep voice that spoke to him was a mix of emotions that had Ciel seeking more.

Ciel had heard the lust in the man's voice along with the pain and sadness that shouldn't have been there. There was something the man was hiding and Ciel wanted to find out, wanted to make things right even though he wasn't sure why. There had been a mutual attraction between the two, one that Ciel had felt and he wanted to feel more.

Pausing outside the building, Ciel glanced at the empty spot next to him where a building had once stood. It seemed as though the structure had been under demolition after all and now all that was left was a pile of rubble. If that was the case, then Sebastian would've moved onto a different site by now and Ciel would have to start back at square one. But for now, there were more pressing matters to think about than hunting down Sebastian.

Ciel pushed his way into the building, noting the silence once more. Without pause, he made his way upstairs and felt his body grow tenser with each floor he ascended. It wasn't because of the fear of being caught but instead because with each floor that was passed, he was finding them empty and silent.

"No, no," he murmured as he pushed open the door to the top floor. Everything was gone. All the people, all the equipment, and all the sets. Nothing was left except for dust and scuffmarks that proved Ciel hadn't dreamed up the whole thing. With hurried steps, Ciel moved down the hallway and pushed open the door that led to the office he had been in just a few days ago.

It was empty of people, just like the rest of the building and the only thing that remained was a simple folding table. It would've been ignored if Ciel's bag hadn't been sitting on the table and with heavy steps, Ciel made his way into the office. A part of him hoped that the man would come up from behind and surprise him, but there was no one else in the room.

Sighing, Ciel picked up the bag and went to throw it over his shoulder, but stopped at the sight of a manila envelope sitting under his bag. He picked it up nervously and slid his finger under the lip to open it. There was another envelope inside with his name on it and a DVD with the official logo of DIE rested in a simple CD case. Trembling fingers brought the case closer and Ciel traced the pattern on the DVD, his body shaking slightly before he tore open the other letter.

_'Ciel,_

_You were right in who we were but this will be the last time we meet. We're supposed to be an enigma, forever fleeting like the shadows and vanishing just as quickly when the sun moves. You will not find us again and I ask that you don't look for us. I pray our paths will never cross again in this shadowed world. For you live life in the sun and I in the dark. We're not meant to mix. But I leave with you a parting gift that may help quench your thirst and hope that you enjoy what it has to offer.'_

_The letter wasn't signed and Ciel read over it five times before the words finally sunk in. It was stuffed into the bag along with the DVD and Ciel made his way back downstairs, his mind racing and his chest hollow. It wasn't fair that he had discovered such a thing only to have it pulled away from him without warning. Had they left because of him or just because they were done shooting? There were too many questions and not enough answers, leaving Ciel feeling lost in vastness of it all._

\--------

A low groan left Ciel's mouth as his phone rang and he fumbled for the device before finally finding it on the nightstand table. He squinted at the phone blearily and after finally deciphering the name, brought it to his ear. "It's ten in the morning Lizzy," he slurred and rolled onto his back. "This better be good, I didn't sleep well last night."

Elizabeth clicked her tongue on the other line. "You haven't been sleeping well for the past two weeks," she answered before sighing heavily. "I just wanted to call and tell you that I fulfilled our little deal. I received a call last night and was informed that a new delivery had been made and I picked up the DVD's this morning."

The news made Ciel's eyes open and he felt a little more awake. "You have them?" He asked, wanting to make sure he was hearing properly.

"I have them and I'm on my way back if you want them now," she paused. "And I prefer you take them now. I would rather not have my mother find these in my possession."

Ciel snorted. "They're not drugs, Lizzy," he stated as he climbed out of bed. "I'll be ready by the time you get here."

There was a confirming answer before Elizabeth hung up, leaving Ciel to stare around his room. It had been a little over two weeks since he had stumbled upon DIE's filming site only to discover it abandoned the next day or so. That night when Ciel had returned, he had turned on the DVD player without hesitation and found himself watching something that had been playing only in his memories.

It was as though Ciel was watching his own personal porn and seeing his face, twisted in pleasure and ecstasy, had aroused him in a way Ciel hadn't thought possible. But it also gave him a chance to hear that sinful voice again and once or twice, Ciel caught a glimpse of the man's body. But the man (and Ciel refused to call him Jeremy), knew how to avoid the camera and keep his body hidden, but more importantly, kept his face from view. And when there were times that it couldn't be avoided, the film had been edited to blur the features.

It seemed as though the older male took every available chance to keep himself hidden from Ciel's eyes. The only thing Ciel had been able to see was black painted nails and that the man was wearing a suit. One that seemed to fit the body well and it only helped to further shape the image in Ciel's mind.

But they were teasing images and nothing more, making Ciel all the more frustrated. He wanted more and with every turn he took to find more, Ciel was finding that his way was blocked. Sebastian hadn't left his apartment since Ciel started watching him again, even during the night. Sebastian had holed himself up into the building for almost the whole two weeks. The only time Sebastian stepped outside was for business with Claude or to buy food. And in those times, Ciel could see the dark circles under Sebastian's eyes and the tired movements. The last time Ciel had seen Sebastian though was about four days ago and since then, Sebastian had kept to himself.

Sebastian was due for a meeting today though and it would be the first time Ciel would see him since the week started. It would provide Ciel a chance to see Sebastian again and hopefully find out what was wrong with the man. Ciel sighed and pulled on some shorts and a shirt before making his way downstairs. It was strange that Ciel felt bad for Sebastian now, knowing that Sebastian was alone and no one seemed to care. Would it be so bad to stop in at least once?

Unbidden, Ciel's thoughts drifted back to the conversation he had with DIE's boss. The man had stated that perhaps Sebastian had a reason for being weird. Maybe Sebastian was jealous of all the attention Claude received and felt as though he was nothing compared to his older brother? There had to be something there, now that Ciel thought about it. Because no one would act that way when their sibling was famous.

Usually they would try to find a way to get even or make their own spotlight. But instead, Sebastian had done the opposite and moved to the shadows. But then again, who said there was anything wrong with shadows? DIE lived in the shadows and seemed to embrace the idea, so perhaps Sebastian had done the same? No one could hurt him there.

The ringing of the doorbell pulled Ciel from his thoughts and he trotted to the door, opening it and unsurprised to see Elizabeth standing before him. She clutched a box to her chest tightly and her face was flushed as she looked around for Ciel's parents. "They're at work," Ciel answered, calming the female down. "And you can come in if you want."

She shook her head. "I have to get back home. We're leaving tomorrow and I'm still not packed. But I wanted to give this to you before I left. The owner said that it was the newest and hottest DVD out right now by DIE." She pushed the box into Ciel's hands and gave him a small smile. "I feel like I just did something illegal and it was kind of fun." She giggled lightly at the thought, the flush on her cheeks fading now that the box was out of her hands.

"It's a rush, isn't it," Ciel teased, weighing the box in his hands.

"It was. But you're worth it." An innocent kiss was placed on his cheek. "Thank you for getting Claude to perform at my birthday party. That was the best present anyone could've given me. And you're an amazing friend. I hope you enjoy it."

Ciel smiled slightly and gave Elizabeth a one armed hug. "Thanks Lizzy, you're a good friend too I guess." He laughed as she punched him in the arm. "Have a good trip next month and bring me back some souvenirs."

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "As though that wasn't enough?" She teased but the smile on her lips gave her away. "Have a good summer Ciel," she said happily and moved away from the door, leaving Ciel alone to finish getting ready for the day. He needed to shower and change before the meeting that was to start in a few hours. The DVD would have to wait for now but it would be something to look forward to at the end of the day.

Blue eyes darted around the meeting room, taking in the people that sat around the table before finally settling on the figure that sat on the opposite side of the table. The bags that had once been present under Sebastian's eyes were lighter and almost none existent now, and dark hair was actually combed back today. Black locks fell neatly into place, framing Sebastian's face in an almost attractive light; despite the baggy suit that the man wore.

Next to him, Claude looked furious and it had nothing to do with the talks going around the room. Instead, that anger seemed to be directed at Sebastian for reasons Ciel couldn't understand. It wasn't as though Claude had any right to feel threatened over Sebastian's new hairstyle. Claude still had more going for him than Sebastian and there was no way Sebastian would be able to take away the light that Claude cherished so much.

Still, the more Ciel looked at Sebastian, the more he could see the potential that hid behind the baggy clothes and crocked glasses. He didn't know what was hidden beneath those clothes but there was nothing a gym and a new wardrobe couldn't fix. Maybe a speech class to help bring back the man's voice and then perhaps Sebastian wouldn't be a nobody living in the shadows but instead someone who was fit to walk in the light.

The thoughts were entertaining and as the meeting ended, Ciel couldn't help but ponder whether or not it was something that was possible. It was worth a try at least and in the end would allow Ciel to understand Sebastian a little better. Perhaps then, he would be able to figure out what Sebastian did with his free time. Although looking at Claude and the way his face was twisted with anger, Ciel wasn't sure if he wanted to approach the older man with the suggestion.

Sebastian and Claude were the first people out the door; or rather, Claude had excused them and then proceeded to pull Sebastian from the room while everyone was still talking with each other. Ciel watched them go and waited for a few minutes before slipping out of the room himself. His curiosity had been peaked and he wanted to know what was going on between the two brothers.

His breath caught at the harsh sound of someone being slapped and froze in his tracks. Harsh tones met Ciel's ears but the words continued to elude him and he had to creep forward slowly in order to hear them. There was a hiss of pain and Ciel poked his head around the corner, eyes widening slightly.

Claude had Sebastian pushed up against the wall, fingers tight in dark locks while his other hand was wrapped around Sebastian's neck. "…think you're funny, showing up like that?" He hissed lowly and pressed tighter but Sebastian never released a sound. "You're supposed to look like this." Hands came up to run through Sebastian's hair, tussling it and making it messy once more so Sebastian looked as though he hadn't bothered to take care of himself that morning.

Through it all, defiant crimson eyes burned at Claude and when Claude finally stopped, Sebastian looking fully disheveled, a smirk crossed silent lips. He mouthed something to Claude, something that Ciel couldn't understand but Claude did. And whatever it was, it didn't help to ease the anger. If anything, it made it worse and Sebastian found a harsh fist in his stomach and another connected with Sebastian's cheek.

Ciel tensed as Sebastian was spun around and his body was slammed against the wall before Claude slipped his arm around Sebastian's neck, tightening his grip. Sebastian retaliated with an elbow to Claude's abdominal area and gasped for breath when Claude stumbled away. He turned to glare at Claude, body trembling with fury and his hands curled into fists.

They looked as though they would break out into a fight at any second and Ciel quickly pushed away from the wall and rounded the corner, giving a loud sigh as though he had just stumbled on them. "There you are Claude. My father is looking for you. You left so quick that he couldn't tell you about the upcoming shoot," he said, sounding exasperated. He blinked and took in the scene before him. "Did I interrupt something?" He asked innocently.

Claude shook his head and patted Sebastian on the back with a forced smile on his face. "Nothing at all. We were just having a brotherly talk."

"Right," Ciel answered, nodding his head slowly. "You'll have to finish it later, my father is waiting for you."

Claude nodded and elbowed past Sebastian harshly, hitting the same spot he had punched earlier. "We'll finish this later, Sebastian," he hissed lowly before vanishing from the room.

Ciel sighed in the silence of the room before stepping closer to Sebastian, reaching out for him. "You should get some ice on that," he murmured. He reached up to brush against the swollen cheek, only to have Sebastian flinch at the touch. Frowning, Ciel lowered his hand to Sebastian's wrist and guided him to a chair. "Sit."

He moved towards the sink in the break room and wet a napkin before going back to Sebastian's side. With careful movements, he dabbed the cloth against the small cut on Sebastian's lip that was from an earlier punch that Ciel must've missed. The napkin came away pink and Ciel could see that the lip was already starting to swell but Sebastian refused to make a sound.

Instead, Sebastian sat tense and stiff the whole time, eyes locked on Ciel. It was slightly unnerving, but Ciel understood that Sebastian had every right to be wary. His older brother had attacked him for a reason Ciel didn't know and now Ciel was tending to him when he usually looked through Sebastian. No doubt Sebastian's mind was racing, trying to figure everything out.

The napkin was discarded and Ciel reached up again, ignoring the flinch from Sebastian as his hands brushed through tussled hair. Sebastian sat stiff and unmoving in his chair the whole time Ciel fixed his hair, combing out the tangles with his fingers. Once he was done, the hair looked a little better but it was still nowhere near what it had looked like at the start of the meeting.

"Somewhat better," Ciel said, trying to sound cheerful. "Your hair looked…good this morning."

Sebastian turned his head to the side and pushed Ciel's hands away, his eyes burning with too many emotions for Ciel to read. A word was mouthed to him as Sebastian stood up, shaking his head and moving past him. Before he could stop himself, Ciel's hand reached forward and curled around Sebastian's wrist.

It wasn't as thin as Ciel thought it would be, considering how the large suit seemed to swallow Sebastian whole. Crimson eyes gazed down at him, making Ciel realize that he was still clinging to Sebastian's wrist and he had nothing to say to the other male. "I…uh…" He floundered for words, unsure how to phrase what he wanted to say but was stopped at a soft touch.

He looked up at Sebastian as the man rested his fingers in his hair. They stayed there for a brief moment and Sebastian offered a small smile, the pain momentarily gone from his eyes before the hand slipped away. Sebastian turned away, gave a small wave of his hand, and started to walk down the hall, leaving Ciel by himself in the break room; wondering what had just happened.

\------

Ciel taped his finger against the steering wheel of the car that night, debating the options running through his mind. He didn't know what had prompted him to act in such a way that afternoon and didn't know if it was pity that made him tend to Sebastian or something else. It wasn't attraction, but Ciel still wanted Claude. Or so he kept telling himself. If he didn't want Claude, than he wouldn't be spending his night trying to figure out what Sebastian was doing. He was doing this so he could get closer to Claude, not because he was curious about Sebastian.

He could always go inside the apartment building and ask to see Sebastian. He had the perfect excuse to check up on the male after seeing the fight. But Ciel had never cared before so why should he start now? Ciel shook his head, trying to push the thoughts from his mind. They were confusing and Ciel felt as though he was caught in a triangle of desires. He wanted Claude, but more than Claude now, he wanted the head of DIE. And then there was Sebastian.

Sebastian was the wild card in all of this. He was the one that could go anyway and Ciel didn't know what to think about him. He didn't like the man, but now that he was able to see him in a slightly different light, Ciel could admit that Sebastian wasn't all that bad. There was something in his eyes that pulled Ciel in, just as the man who ran DIE had his voice that sucked Ciel in. But at the same time, there was something hidden beneath both those things in each male. Something they were both hiding.

Ciel sat up straighter as Sebastian left his apartment, a hat covering his head and a large jacket draped over his shoulders. He was leaving later than usual, as the sun was already down but Ciel scrambled out of his car and followed him nonetheless. They were headed in a different direction this time and Ciel wondered if this was a different demolition area.

He still had his doubts that demolition was what Sebastian did in his spare time and now Ciel was starting to wonder if perhaps Sebastian did work with DIE. The man did know everything about video equipment and would be a good fit for the job. It was possible that the boss was just protecting Sebastian by claiming that he didn't work there. It was a rather taboo business and for good reason.

They turned down a road and Ciel slowed down as he realized they were close to a popular club. It made him wonder what they were doing here but he couldn't dwell on it for long as Sebastian wasn't stopping. If anything, he had vanished into the crowds and Ciel had a hard time spotting him.

Minutes later, Ciel finally spotted Sebastian and he rushed to catch up to the man while still keeping a good distance between them. Sebastian ducked into a side alley and Ciel followed, pausing at the corner to watch as Sebastian entered a side door to the popular club. Ciel sucked in a deep breath and trotted silently down the dirty road.

The door opened silently under his hand and Ciel sucked in a deep breath as heat washed over his body. The dull thumping of bass sounded between the walls and made Ciel realize that they weren't in the club but instead the building behind it. Crates and boxes were pushed up against the walls, making shadows dance along the floor and blocking out any light to people who happened to stumble by. To most people, it would look as though the building was just used for storage.

But that's what gave it the perfect cover for a shoot and Ciel made his way back further into the building. He had a hunch that he was right as he ascended the first flight of steps and the faintest of moans only helped to further back up his hunch. Ciel crept along the wall silently, determined to make it to the office this time before he was discovered.

He continued to climb, passing the second and third floor without problem. Ciel ignored everything in the rooms around him, wanting to focus strictly on his task as he started to climb the next flight of steps; only to come face to face with a straight-faced male. Ciel swallowed as the man adjusted his glasses before focusing on him.

"You again?" He asked, sounding bored. "Everyone was talking about you the last time you were here and now you're back."

Ciel's body bolted forward and he ducked around the male, noting that the other man hadn't tried to stop him. Perhaps they were used to him already and wouldn't stop him this time? The hope was dashed when Ciel crashed into someone and he gasped as a strong hand gripped his shirt, pulling him forward.

"You're a persistent one you are," The Undertaker purred. "You either like being punished, or you're after something else. I wonder which one it could be, hmm?"

Ciel scowled and jerked against the grip, trying to get free. "Let me go," he demanded. "I want to see him again."

The man clicked his tongue. "Seems as though the both of you are looking for punishment somewhere down the road." He caressed Ciel's face. "What makes you think he wants to see you again?"

"I don't know. But I would rather have him tell me that to my face than have you rely messages that you think are correct," Ciel snapped.

"And a fiery attitude," The Undertaker murmured as footsteps approached. He reached forward and covered Ciel's eyes before looking over his shoulder. "I hope you have a blindfold with you, William," he stated.

"I do," Will answered and moved around to tie the blindfold in place. "And he wants to see him."

Excitement bubbled up in Ciel's chest and he couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face as The Undertaker's grip slipped from his shirt to his upper arm. He kept any sarcastic comments to himself as he was led away, tripping over the steps but never cursing them. As each one led him closer to that seductive voice.

\--------

Sebastian leaned his head against his knuckles, being careful to avoid the pain in his cheek where Claude had caught him off guard. His fingers curled slightly at the thought. If it had been at any other place or another time, he would've fought back more. But the damn collar around his neck kept him from doing that.

He had taken the risk in the first place by showing up at the meeting looking as though he cared. As expected, Claude had taken offense and was quick to deliver punishment before Ciel stopped him. Whether Ciel truly stumbled across them or had seen the whole thing, Sebastian didn't know. But the actions following that had caught Sebastian off guard and made him wonder what was going through Ciel's mind.

The doors opened and a sense of déjà vu washed over Sebastian as Ciel was led into the room, this time walking in instead of being dragged in. Behind him, The Undertaker held a tight grip on him and a look of displeasure was present on the man's face. "I see our mouse has been discovered again," Sebastian stated, standing up and wincing as his stomach muscles protested the movement.

"I don't like this, Se…Sir," The Undertaker answered instead, silencing Ciel with a harsh squeeze to his arm. "You know this will only end up backfiring on you. There's no chance that this will work. That question you asked me last time, it's possible but highly unlikely to happen."

Sebastian flinched at the reminder before brushing it aside. There was a chance, a small one but it was still there. Ciel had noticed him that afternoon and it was a small hope that things could get better. Ciel had stopped the fight and tended to his wounds, even if they were small. That had to count for something.

"I'm willing to take the chance," he said quietly.

The Undertaker stepped away from Ciel, knowing that he wouldn't move before approaching Sebastian. "You're stepping into a dangerous battle," he murmured, reaching out to brush over the swollen cheek. "And I feel as though nothing I say will stop you."

Sebastian's eyes closed. "You can't always fight my battles," he answered. "I can take his fury if needed for this one shot at happiness."

"I understand," The Undertaker commented. "But if it gets too far out of control and things start to spiral out of your grasp, I will stop it. And I will do what should've been done years ago."

Sebastian nodded. "I understand. But it won't get that bad. It's nothing I can't handle."

The Undertaker shook his head as he moved away. "Regardless. I will pull you from there if things escalate. If today's results are any indication of what's to come." He stood by Ciel's side again. "Think about what you're getting yourself into before you let things continue further. We all care for you here and none of us which to see you hurt." He gave another small squeeze to Ciel's arm before vanishing from the room.

Once gone, Sebastian moved towards Ciel. "Seems as though you found us again," he murmured and reached out to trace over the blindfold. "Seems as though you like to sniff us out."

"Just you," Ciel answered. "It's just you that I'm hunting. I want to know your name, I want to know more about you."

"Why?" Sebastian questioned. "You don't know me. You don't know what I look like, my background, or anything. Why would you want to know me?"

Ciel cocked his head. "Because you're nice and I just…I just want to know."

Sebastian hummed and circled around Ciel. "It seems as though I'm nothing more than a toy you can't have, something exotic that you want to own for yourself."

"Perhaps that's part of it," Ciel admitted. "I'm only human after all. But you also have something that just draws me in and I want to see you, want to know you. I don't know why I'm attracted to you, I just am."

"Eyes can be deceiving, "Sebastian answered and brushed away a piece of stray hair that covered Ciel's face. "But then again, I suppose that many things in life can be the same way."

Ciel closed his eyes. "Are you going to throw me out?" He asked.

Sebastian shook his head. "No. Let's make a deal instead," he stated and moved to stand in front of Ciel once more. "We're staying in this location for the filming of this next season and we can't change the scripts to a different place just because you found us again. And even if we toss you out, you'll just come back and try again."

A small chuckle left Ciel's lips. "That is true. I don't give up very easy."

"Preciously," Sebastian answered. "Therefore, if you can sneak in without being caught by anyone from my staff, I'll tell you my name. But if you're caught, I get to have some fun with you. That way we can both win."

Ciel flushed but nodded, feeling his body grow warm at the thought of having the man's hands on him again. The image was back in his mind again, this time providing Ciel with an image of Sebastian the way he looked that afternoon before Claude had messed him up. The image shifted, giving him clothes that fit and a neater appearance before it vanished from his thoughts. "What sort of fun?"

Sebastian hummed low in his throat. "The kind that we had last time, but just like before, you can stop whenever you feel uncomfortable and I will never push you into something you're not ready for. But in this sense, we can both enjoy something out of your attempts." He smirked before continuing. "And if you can last until I tell you to come, then I'll show you my face."

He was treading in something dangerous now, Sebastian knew that much but he couldn't stop himself. There was a chance that either would happen and then there was a chance that it wouldn't. But where everything went from here, time could only tell. And only time would tell if Sebastian would end up hurt at the end because of his choice.

"Deal," Ciel said without thought. "Just no…no sex yet."

"Of course," Sebastian answered. "We've only just met and there are plenty of things to talk about and do before that stage. That's something you don't need to think about, Ciel."

Ciel nodded, feeling relieved about that fact. Just because he had lost his virginity years ago didn't mean that he would jump into bed with anyone. The teasing and not so innocent touches were a far cry from the main act of sex and that was where Ciel drew the line with this man until he knew more. "At least give me a name to call you by. I'm not calling you Jeremy when we both know it's fake."

Sebastian smirked and let his hands trail down Ciel's cheeks. "I told you last time. You're to call me Master and I'll take you to a height of pleasure that you've never experienced before until you can't remember your own name." His head lowered to brush against a pale ear. "I am an expert in that field after all," he purred.

Shivering, Ciel turned his head until his lips brushed against skin. "I may call you Master, but that doesn't mean I will fully submit to you," he murmured.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you," Sebastian whispered hotly and nipped at Ciel's earlobe. "But by the time this is over, you'll be begging for me. For my touch."

"We'll see," Ciel answered as soft hands guided his body to the ground. His legs buckled under and he yelped as he was flipped over onto his hands and knees.

Sebastian draped his body over Ciel's back and leaned forward to nip at the pale skin. "Unless you want my mouth here," his arm wrapped around Ciel's waist and reached down to cup the semi-hard erection. "Then you better get me papers showing that you're clean."

Ciel shivered. "How do I know you're clean?" He countered, even though if the man was asking for papers to prove that Ciel was clean, it meant that he was careful with his partners and was more than likely clean himself.

"I have all my employees checked before the shooting of a new series to make sure they're clean and I have a test done as well, even if I haven't taken a partner since my last test," Sebastian answered. It never hurt to be careful in this world and the tests were required for everyone who wanted to partake in any form of sexual activity on set. "And I can assure that I am indeed clean. Now, do we have a deal?"

Ciel nodded and Sebastian smirked as he sucked at the back of Ciel's neck while his fingers slipped inside the pants Ciel wore. They brushed over the area above Ciel's cock, the action making Ciel shudder lightly and release the lowest of moans. Sebastian's hips bucked forward at the noise and he rocked against Ciel, letting him know exactly how aroused he was by everything.

His fingers retreated, pulling Ciel's pants down a little more until his erection was free from the fabric before running his thumb over the tip. A bead of precum wet his finger and Sebastian brought his hand up, pushing his thumb into Ciel's mouth. "I see you're not at all against this idea," he murmured lowly as Ciel's tongue flicked over his finger.

"I would like it better if you talked," Ciel said once the finger was removed. His breath hitched as the fingers circled around his cock once more. "I could come from your voice alone."

"I think that's a bit much, but I appreciate the compliment," Sebastian answered. He leaned forward so his lips brushed against the shell of Ciel's ear again. "But if you want me to talk, I'd gladly tell you what I'll do to you once I know you're clean."

Ciel's head lowered against his forearms and pushed his hips back further to press against Sebastian's erection. "Tell me," he breathed, wishing that he could see the man.

Sebastian hummed and started to stroke the cock in his hand, occasionally teasing the slit. "I'll take this in my mouth and make it hard, until you're wet with precum and on the edge of orgasm. Then I'll slowly lower my head and take you all the way down until you're almost choking me." A whimper left Ciel's mouth and more precum dribbled over Sebastian's fingers. "And then I'll tease you until you're at my mercy and maybe if you've been good that day, I'll let you come. Would you like that, Ciel?"

"Oh fuck," Ciel cursed and his hips jerked wildly against Sebastian as he came without warning. He panted and trembled as he rode out the feelings while white pleasure washed over his body until he felt numb.

A low chuckle left Sebastian's mouth as he pulled his hand away. "You weren't lying about my voice," he commented. "I'll have to say your name more often than if I get that type of reaction from you."

Ciel trembled and rolled onto his back, panting heavily. Sebastian reached forward and tucked him back in before fixing his pants. Once presentable, Sebastian crawled over Ciel and hovered over him, his face lingering over Ciel. It didn't take much to pretend that those blue eyes were staring back at him instead of the black blindfold that kept Ciel from seeing him and Sebastian wished it so.

But before that could happen, Ciel had to see him outside of this world that Sebastian lived in. Had to notice him hiding in the shadows and realize that there was more to him that met the eye; that he wasn't a mess of a person that everyone believed him to be. Only then could Sebastian show his face to Ciel. The chance of that happening though was slim but Sebastian clung to that hope.

"You lost this round, Ciel," he murmured and pulled back before he could press a kiss on those tempting lips. Ciel reached for him as he pulled away and Sebastian caught his hand. There was a brief hesitation before he kissed the knuckles and let his lips linger there as he spoke. "May you find favor in the next round."

"I'll win soon," Ciel answered stubbornly.

Sebastian smiled slightly. "Then I hope that you find the shadows to your liking and decide not to shun them once you find what lurks in the darkness." Because even if Ciel saw him for who he really was, there was a chance that Ciel wouldn't accept the truth and then Ciel would be forever out of Sebastian's reach.


	4. Chapter 4

Sunlight streamed through the thin strip of parted curtains that covered the window. It landed perfectly on Ciel's face, making his eyes scrunch in annoyance and he rolled to the side, trying to escape the bright rays. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep the day away but it was already close to ten and he had things to do. It had been a week since Ciel had made his deal with his master, just saying the name sent a small chill down his spine, and in that time, Ciel had returned twice.

Each time, Ciel had been caught and taken to his master, where he had ended up succumbing to pleasure and losing the chance to see the man's face. It was frustratingly annoying but Ciel was determined to win this deal one way or another. There was a way to win, Ciel was sure of that. But how was a different question. He was up against someone older and someone who had far more experience than he did. It was easier for the man to last longer than him and put Ciel at a disadvantage.

Sighing loudly, Ciel rolled out of bed and stumbled to his feet. He was tired and while the thought of going back to sleep sounded nice, Ciel had other plans. There was a shooting today for Claude's new music video and after that, Ciel wanted to take Sebastian to the tailor so they could take his clothes in. He was tired of seeing the man in such baggy clothes.

Ciel firmly told himself that he was doing this for the image of Funtom Recording, because Sebastian's image was a direct mirror to the company, but he couldn't push the truth aside no matter what lies he told himself. The truth was that Ciel was curious to know what Sebastian was hiding and silently hoped to learn more.

Making his way to the shower, Ciel quickly washed himself before pulling on some casual clothes. They were going to be filming outside today so there was no sense in wearing something nice when Ciel was just going to sweat through the material. It was already warming up to be a hot day and Ciel found that he wasn't looking forward to the heat.

Shorts and a simple t-shirt were pulled on before Ciel walked downstairs to grab a late breakfast. He needed to be at the recording site in thirty minutes and if Ciel wanted to make it on time, then he would have to eat on the drive. A small bag was packed and after grabbing his bag for the day, Ciel made his way to his car.

It would be a twenty-minute drive and would give Ciel plenty of time to think about his plans for that night. He wanted to sneak back in today after taking a break last night to catch up on his sleep. He figured it wasn't good for his body to constantly forgo sleep in exchange for pleasure and was trying to alternate the days he stayed up late to sneak into DIE.

As he continued to drive down the road, a small part of Ciel wished that Elizabeth were still here. She would've been able to help him sort out the confusing emotions that were racing through his mind. He wasn't sure what was spurning him to help Sebastian; there was no need for such actions. Because even if Sebastian were to go through a makeover, it didn't mean that he would suddenly be more attractive than Claude was. He would still be invisible, hiding in the shadows, so why did Ciel care?

Was it because Ciel was curious and wanted to know what Sebastian was hiding? Because Sebastian had to be hiding something. No one would willingly shun the spotlight for the shadows. There was something deeper going on with the man and Ciel was determined to figure it out. And then his curiosity would be sated and Ciel could once more focus on getting what he wanted from Claude.

Ciel nodded, pleased with the plan and pressed harder on the gas pedal. The country roads flew by and wind from the open window whipped at his hair as Ciel moved around the curves. No matter what happened to Sebastian, Ciel doubted he would find the man as attractive as his older brother. Claude was graceful whereas Sebastian was clumsy, unsure of himself, and just otherwise a nobody. There were so many factors that stacked up against Sebastian when compared to Claude that Ciel couldn't even see himself falling for Sebastian if everything went according to plan. Which meant there was no way this could backfire against him.

Not only that, Ciel was finding that he was anxiously looking forward to meeting Master tonight. The man had a voice that was lower and more seductive than Claude. Something Ciel thought he would never find and he found himself falling and lusting for that voice. Almost as much as Ciel wanted Claude. He was torn between the two; a voice in the shadows or someone that Ciel knew. The choice warred inside him; constantly battling over which was better and Ciel found that he couldn't answer.

A low grumble left his mouth as Ciel slowed down as he came to the shooting site. Already cameras were set up and trailers were placed throughout the grass while people swarmed around Claude. Ciel parked his car and turned off the engine before jogging over to Claude. He was shirtless, pale skin proudly displayed as he hummed a few chords to his song.

"Ciel," Claude called as he approached and stepped away from the people around him. He adjusted his glasses and looked down at him. "I didn't think you would make it in time for the shooting to start. You'd miss all the fun that way," he teased.

Ciel smirked but rolled his eyes. "I think I came right in time," he answered, his eyes darting over Claude's chest before focusing back on the man's face. The leer on Claude's lips was ignored and Ciel reached up at adjust Claude's glasses. "Careful or you'll start looking like Sebastian," he commented lightly.

Claude snorted. "As though that would happen. I would have to fall down long and hard before I even came close to looking like him." He jerked his finger in the direction of where Sebastian was working. "Seriously, look at him and then me. Even you have to admit that never in a hundred years would he look as good as me." There was a hint of pleading in his voice, one that seemed to beg for that confirmation; as though Claude was nervous Sebastian would suddenly outshine him.

Ciel glanced over Claude's shoulder, looking at where Sebastian was crouched in the grass as he handled the multiple cords that ran across the ground. Despite the heat of the day, Sebastian was wearing his traditional large and baggy suit that seemed to swallow him; his hair looked greasy and was stringy, while sweat trickled down his face. In all, it wasn't a very appealing picture and Ciel clicked his tongue.

"He doesn't look very professional," he commented.

Claude let out a noise of disgust. "Of course not. He never has and never will. There is nothing you can do to help him no matter what you try because he will always be a failure."

Ciel winced slightly at the words, wondering if they were true or not. Claude would know Sebastian the best and the words helped to trigger doubt in Ciel's mind. "Have you tried to help him before?" He asked, wondering if all hope was lost for Sebastian.

"Of course," Claude answered and started to walk towards Sebastian who had moved from the cords to the lights, carefully adjusting them so they would produce the best result. "Sebastian," he called as they grew closer.

The other male turned around, his eyes carefully guarded but they looked tired as they gazed at Claude. He cocked his head slightly to show that he was listening before his eyes darted briefly to Ciel and then back again to Claude.

A small noise of surprise left Ciel's mouth as Claude's hand struck Sebastian across the cheek, sending crooked glasses flying from Sebastian's face. "What?" He asked, not understanding what Sebastian had done to deserve such a thing.

"He doesn't need these glasses, you know," Claude stated, bending down to pick them up. "He wears them because I wear glasses and hopes that it'll make him look like me. Don't you little Sebastian?" He cooed teasingly before holding the glasses up in Sebastian's face and snapping them in half.

Sebastian jerked at the action and his mouth opened to say something before clamping it shut once more. His eyes darted to Ciel, hoping that Ciel would say something in his defense. When Ciel said nothing, the lowest of whines left Sebastian's mouth before he turned furious eyes to Claude.

Ciel only had time to blink before Sebastian launched himself at Claude, tackling him to the ground. He shouted in surprise as the two rolled around on the ground, wrestling roughly while people came running at Ciel's yell. The sound of fists connecting with flesh was loud in the silence of the set as everyone standing around the two brothers could only stare as Sebastian seemed to dominate in the fight despite his scrawny looks.

It took a hard fist to Claude's nose that ended up sending his glasses across the grass before Ciel jumped into action. His arms wrapped around Sebastian's torso and he pulled back with all his weight. They tumbled backwards into the grass, Sebastian landing heavily on him before rolling to the side.

Ciel scrambled to his feet and backed up slowly to Claude. "That's enough Sebastian." He glanced over his shoulder to look at Claude, hissing slightly at the red skin. No doubt it would turn into a bruise unless they took care of it now. He pointed at Claude's face. "Do you see what you did? We were supposed to shoot this video today and now we have to delay it because of this. That's wasted money right there all because you couldn't control your temper."

Sebastian breathed heavily through his nose and his jaw clenched at the words as he shook harshly before them, but he didn't say anything. He couldn't. In a way, Ciel felt that it was unfair that Sebastian couldn't say anything and for a moment considered curbing his words so they weren't so harsh but the press of Claude against his back made him stay firm in his resolve.

"Go take some time to clear your head while we sort out this mess. I don't want to see you for the rest of the day until the video is done and it's time to do your job again," Ciel snapped. "Until then, stay out of our way. You already ruined things once; we don't need you to ruin anything else."

Not a word was said as Sebastian turned on his heel and walked away, head held high and not a trace of shame present on his face. But Ciel had seen the pain that burned in crimson eyes all because of Ciel's words. Ciel had been there and had seen what had happened, had known that Claude's actions were uncalled for, but had still acted in Claude's favor. Simply because Claude was more attractive. Because Sebastian was invisible and no one cared about him.

Silence settled over the field before Ciel waved at Claude. "Get some ice on that injury and we'll see where we stand in a few hours. If everything is fine, then we'll start filming. Let's hope for the best, I'd rather not put off this shoot because Sebastian was being reckless." Soft murmurs met Ciel's ears as he leaned down to pick up Claude's glasses and he passed them back to him. His eyes settled on the broken discarded pieces not too far from him and he walked over to pick them up as well. "I'll be back to check up on Claude in a bit."

The glasses were scooped into his hand and Ciel moved in the direction where Sebastian had vanished, hoping to find the man. That hope faded away with each step he took that drew him closer to Sebastian and it seemed that the further he moved away from Claude, the clearer Ciel found himself thinking. He shouldn't have acted that way, especially in front of everyone who only saw the end result. Instead Ciel had taken sides and judged unfair in front of the others.

Sighing, Ciel continued walking and finally found Sebastian sitting under a tree, his jacket discarded to the side while he pressed the cuff of his shirt to his split lip. Sebastian turned to look at him as he approached and Ciel flinched slightly at the anger that washed over Sebastian's face. The man looked different without the glasses as Ciel was used to seeing them always on Sebastian's face. Without them, he could see the garnet eyes all the more clearly and Ciel found himself falling into them.

"I…I brought your glasses back," he said instead, holding out the broken pieces. They were snatched from his hand and placed carefully on the jacket before Sebastian turned his head, ignoring him. It was obvious Sebastian didn't want to talk, even if he could, but Ciel was curious and found himself leaning in closer. "If you don't need them, why do you use them?"

For a moment, it seemed as though Sebastian was going to ignore him until at last, he reached into his pocket to pull out a phone. There was a fury of clicks on the old device before Sebastian held up the phone, showing Ciel the picture on the screen.

It was of a younger Sebastian, one that looked happy while an old man embraced him from behind. Perched on the man's face were the same glasses that were now broken on Sebastian's jacket and slight understanding dawned in Ciel's mind. "Who is he?" He asked, gesturing to the phone.

Sebastian shook his head, clearly not wanting to answer and Ciel could only guess that it was too personal to share with someone Sebastian disliked at the moment. But it was clear that whoever the man was, he had cared greatly for Sebastian and in return, Sebastian had respected the man.

The phone was tucked away, silence settling around the area again and making Ciel feel awkward because of it. "I should get back," he said finally and edged away from the tree without looking back. A small twinge of guilt formed in Ciel's chest, the result of treating Sebastian the way he had and it seemed as though being with Claude brought out the worst in Ciel.

But it was easier to blame Sebastian for being at fault than himself, as Sebastian had been the one to throw the first punch. Ciel grunted, the confusing thoughts making his head hurt and Ciel walked towards the area Claude was sitting at. An ice pack rested against Claude's cheek and Ciel hissed lowly at it. "How does it feel?" He asked curiously.

"Hurts," Claude answered and peeled away the pack to show Ciel the mark. "But it could've been worse. He was holding back," he admitted.

"They were just glasses. I fail to see why they were such a big deal in the first place," Ciel commented, trying to play the innocent card as he placed the ice pack back on Claude's cheek. It wasn't swollen luckily and they would be able to shoot in a few hours or so, meaning they wouldn't lose a large amount of money by pushing the video back.

Claude winced slightly as he shifted in his chair. "They were our father's glasses," he answered and a small flicker of guilt raced through his eyes.

Ciel cocked his head. "I thought your father killed himself because of Sebastian."

There was a negative shake of the head. "He did, but we were adopted a year or two later. I was never horribly close with the man since I was older and knew our father better when he died compared to Sebastian. But Sebastian loved the man and was close with him," Claude stated. "When he passed away due to age, Sebastian was devastated."

"Oh," Ciel said lowly and looked to the side, understanding now who the man in the picture was. He hadn't known that Claude had been adopted after the death of his parents, as that information wasn't exactly something Claude wanted the public knowing. It seemed as though Claude hadn't accepted his adopted father as a father figure the way Sebastian had and judging by how happy Sebastian was in the picture, it was obvious they were close.

Claude shrugged. "It's fine. He needs to learn how to move on and let go anyway. Those glasses aren't going to help him anyway. They're useless to him and I don't know why he insists on wearing them." He tenderly touched his cheek. "I just don't understand Sebastian."

Ciel shook his head. "Me neither."

"Have you made any progress with his mystery job?" Claude questioned. "Perhaps that will help shed some light on things."

"Not really," Ciel answered. "He stays inside all day and at night it's anyone's guess," Ciel commented. He didn't feel like sharing that there was a chance Sebastian worked for DIE. He wasn't one hundred percent sure yet and even so, he found that he didn't want Claude to know about that fact. "I think maybe he's just a bum who lives off what we give him and spends it carefully."

Claude let out a short bark of laughter. "That would make sense. He only owns that one suit and it was probably on sale when he bought it. It doesn't even fit him right."

Ciel gave a small laugh, finding it hollow in his throat and tasting bitter. "Yeah, right. He needs to see a tailor or something. I should take him to one soon to get that fixed."

Claude stiffened and turned his head to look at Ciel. "Don't," he answered quickly before clearing his throat. "That would be a waste of your money. Nothing you do will make him look better and he'd just ruin it in the end anyway."

Blue eyes glanced at Claude before Ciel shrugged. "If you say so. You would know your brother best."

"Exactly," Claude answered and stood up from his chair. "I'm fine now. Let's go ahead and start the shooting."

Ciel nodded, understanding that the subject was being closed for now. Claude didn't want to talk about it and pushing further wouldn't give Ciel the answers he wanted. While he was curious, there were other ways to get his answers and patience would have to be on his side in order to get them. That and perhaps some good luck.

"I'll go tell the camera crew and we can get started," he said instead and moved over to the crew, wanting to get things moving again. It would help to keep his mind busy and away from the thoughts that threatened to overwhelm him. They were things he would rather not think about, especially with the nightfall only a few hours away.

\-------

It was dark as Ciel made his way through the crowded streets and towards a place that was quickly becoming familiar. This would be the third time Ciel was attempting to sneak in since the deal started and Ciel couldn't help but feel was though he was running out of time. With each day that passed, DIE grew closer to finishing their shooting for the next series and once that was done, they would move to a new location. What happened after that, Ciel didn't know.

There was a chance that they would tell him where they were moving to, but Ciel didn't want to take that chance. He wanted to know the man's name and face before then. Although Ciel didn't know what would happen from there. Would he still chase after the man even after the thrill of the hunt was over or would he find himself bored? After all, he still wanted Claude, right?

Or did Ciel just want Claude for that one night of promised pleasure once their deal was complete and nothing more, all the while seeking something more than just lust for the voice bathed in shadows? It was confusing and Ciel didn't know what to think. Nothing seemed so straight cut anymore and Ciel found that he was facing several obstacles along the way. What had started out as something simple had changed into something complex.

Letting out a long sigh, Ciel slipped through the door as he was accustomed to and started his quest once more. He was determined to make it to the top today and nothing was going to stop him. Music pulsed lowly next to him and Ciel started to climb the stairs, ducking behind the boxes that lined the walls at every little noise. Everyone knew about the deal between him and the boss, and were on the lookout, making things harder. But at the same time, it brought a bigger sense of thrill to the hunt.

Ciel dodged for another set of boxes as two people approached the stairwell and he pressed his body between the boxes and wall. Low murmurs reached Ciel's ears but the words were lost to him as they continued to walk away. It was the second time this happened and now that Ciel was more aware of it, he swore that there was tension in the air that wasn't usually present.

He edged away from his spot and quietly moved up the next flight of steps. The next floor was usually where he was stopped and Ciel sighed lowly as he stepped onto the landing. He would get further today. He placed a foot on the step and started to climb, only to be stopped by a hot hand circling around his wrist.

Ciel jumped and turned around quickly, surprise covering his face. "Come on," he protested at Ronald "I only made it to the second floor today. Can't we overlook it just this once?"

Ron shook his head. "Perhaps if the boss man was in a better mood, then maybe I would. But I'm under the impression that he had a bad day today and isn't taking kindly to visitors," he chuckled lowly. "Except perhaps The Undertaker."

Eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean by that?" He asked, a cold pit of despair settling in his stomach. "What's that man have to do with anything."

With a playful grin, Ron smirked and pulled out a blindfold. "I suppose I could always show you. Or rather, you could always hear what's going on in that room. It's not often the boss uses one of us for pleasure."

Ciel choked as the blindfold was placed over his eyes, not wanting to believe the words. "He wouldn't," he gasped. "He has…he has me," he finished softly.

Ron clicked his tongue as they moved upstairs. "But do you give that pleasure or do you take it?"

Ciel was silent as they continued to climb the steps, knowing that he never gave pleasure. It was always Master who gave it and Ciel found that he didn't like knowing that the man was getting his pleasure from someone else. They stopped outside the door and Ciel turned his head to look at the other man. "You said he doesn't do this often."

"Correct," Ron answered. "We've all tried at least once you know but he's a stubborn one he is. The Undertaker is perhaps the only one of us that has gotten the closest to him."

Growling at The Undertaker's name, Ciel grit his teeth and steadied his nerves. The Undertaker was the one who was most against him being here and was worried about something that Ciel didn't know about. It seemed that there were more secrets surrounding DIE than the public was aware of. There was something special about the man in charge, something that everyone here knew about and wished to protect the man from harm.

"Let me see them," Ciel said firmly. "Or rather, let them see me."

A low chuckle left Ron's mouth as he placed a hand on Ciel's shoulder. "As you wish," he chirped happily and pulled open the door.

\------

Groaning lowly, Sebastian's fingers tightened in gray hair as his hips bucked up lightly. He nibbled his lower lip as a tongue pressed against the underside of his cock, trailing up slowly before swirling around the tip. Green eyes flickered up to look at him, a smirk curling on The Undertaker's lips as the man bobbed his head once more.

Sebastian sucked in a deep breath and he trembled on the chair, his eyes rolling back in pleasure. It had been far too long since he had felt the touch of another and he couldn't help but cave when The Undertaker offered. Ciel's actions that morning showed him that the Ciel would never see him as anything more than a burden and someone best ignored.

He had hoped that Ciel would've changed since everything began, but it seemed as though Claude's pull was too great and Ciel felt as though he had to go along with the crowd when he was with Claude. It hurt and by the time the day was over, Sebastian wanted nothing more than to dive headfirst into work.

"Stop thinking," The Undertaker murmured, his breath ghosting over the sensitive cock.

Sebastian grunted a low reply and tugged lightly at The Undertaker's hair. "Then do something to stop me from thinking," he answered. His eyes rolled back into his head as the man lowered his head without warning, taking him to the root and swallowing around his cock. "Ah fuck, that works," he moaned loudly.

Fingers rubbed small circles over his thighs as Sebastian shivered against the onslaught of pleasure he was being given. It had indeed been far too long and Sebastian cried out again, his voice pitching as cruel fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, keeping his orgasm at bay. Sebastian tossed his head and bucked again as The Undertaker chuckled lowly.

"I'll make you sing, Sebastian," The Undertaker murmured and went to lower his head once more but stopped as the doors to the office were pushed open. He poked his head over the desk, taking in the person who dare intrude and his eyes narrowed at Ciel standing next to Ron. "You better have a good reason for disturbing us Ronald."

"Little Ciel didn't believe that the boss was getting pleasure from someone else besides him and I had to remind him that he only receives the pleasure instead of the other way around," Ron answered.

Sebastian's eyes flickered open and he gazed at Ciel. "I don't want to see him in my office," he hissed lowly. Not after what had happened today. That had only cemented the truth that Ciel would never accept him or even bother to get to know him and Sebastian was tired of hoping. "Not after what happened today."

Ciel jerked in Ron's grip. "What did I do today?" He asked.

A low laugh left The Undertaker's throat. "I think you know exactly what you did. Just because we live in the shadow's doesn't mean that we don't know what's going on in the light. We have people everywhere that work for us and they saw exactly what you did today."

"You mean to Sebastian," Ciel answered lowly, his head turning to the side. "I felt bad about what I did but I acted without thinking."

Sebastian shook his head, his cock softening as the conversation dragged on. "You did think, Ciel. You thought about what Claude would think if he saw you acting nice to Sebastian or defending him." His lips pulled down into a scowl. "If that's all you care about, then I don't want to see you anymore. I can't stand people who can't think for themselves and just go with the crowd even though they have a choice to go the other way."

"I went to go apologize afterwards," Ciel said weakly. "But I guess I never said the words to him. Why does it matter though how I treated him? He's not you and I wouldn't do something like that you."

The Undertaker bristled at the words and Sebastian rubbed at the man's scalp, calming him down before answering. "It matters because if you treat one person that way, you're bound to treat others that way. You only see what your eyes show you or listen to what your ears hear. But you don't know if those things are truth or not." He shifted in his chair. "You worship Claude because of his looks and voice but you don't know the first thing about him, just as you shun Sebastian because of his looks. You don't know the story behind either of them, so don't you think it's unfair to judge them by what you see or hear."

Ciel frowned. "What about you though? I only know your voice and nothing more. Doesn't that put a wrench in your theory?"

"It just goes to further prove my point," Sebastian answered. "Because you like my voice and think I have an attractive appearance, you lust for my touch. But what would happen when you were to open your eyes and realize that I don't meet that image in your mind? Would you shun me just as you shun the others who don't meet your ideals? Someone can be the most attractive person but how the ugliest personality and vice versa. You took the chance on me, using only your ears to judge me. So why can't you take that same chance with your eyes?"

"Because I know what I see when I look at Sebastian," Ciel argued, even though his words held no force behind them. His defense was quickly falling apart around him and Ciel was left clutching at the strands. He knew there was something different about Sebastian, something the man was hiding from him. That day Sebastian had come to work with clean hair, Ciel had thought that there was some sort of potential for the man and had toyed with the idea of helping Sebastian. Where was that thought now?

The Undertaker hummed. "What do you see then, when you look at him?" He asked, his fingers rubbing small circles on Sebastian's thighs.

Ciel faltered. "I…I know what my eyes show me. A man in a baggy suit who looks as though he doesn't care for himself."

"Eyes can be deceiving," The Undertaker breathed and glanced up at Sebastian. "Forget him, Sir. He doesn't deserve your time or attention. Nothing will change with him and in the end; he will just end up hurting you."

"Silence your tongue," Ciel snarled. "You know nothing about me."

Green eyes narrowed. "And you know nothing about which you speak," he said coolly.

"Both of you will be silent," Sebastian spoke, voice low and demanding. It made everyone stand at attention in the room and sent the slightest bit of lust racing through their bodies. "I have a solution to this problem. Are you listening, Ciel?"

Ciel shifted on his feet. "I'm listening."

Sebastian nodded and looked at Ciel, anger and hurt still churning through his body. He couldn't stand to touch Ciel right now, let alone be touched by Ciel. The pain was too fresh and he wanted to make Ciel suffer as well, wanted to even the score. If this was how Ciel was going to keep treating him, than Sebastian wanted nothing more to do with Ciel.

"I will not touch you tonight, nor will you touch me," he started, voice deep and husky. It commanded attention and told of his position in the company; a position that everyone listened to and respected. His fingers caressed The Undertaker's cheek, rubbing it lightly as he continued speaking. "Instead, you will stand there and listen to everything that is about to happen."

Green eyes darted to look up at Sebastian and Sebastian smirked down at the man kneeling at his feet. He could see the lust and arousal racing through emerald eyes as The Undertaker quickly caught onto his plan. Already, eager fingers were brushing against his cock, working to bring Sebastian back to full arousal.

"And when everything is done, Ronald will escort you out and you are not to return until your eyes and mind has opened. I will not accept such closed mindedness and at the same time, I will not accept pity." Sebastian's eyes narrowed. "An apology made out of pity and actions that are fake is nothing but a taunt. And believe me when I say that I will know how you handle the mess you've caused."

Ciel started forward. "That's not fair!" He said loudly. "It's not as though we're friends or anything."

Sebastian's eyes closed at the words. "We're not friends either, but you gave me a chance." His head lolled on the chair. "Give him a chance Ciel. Use something else other than your eyes for a change."

Anything Ciel was going to say after that was cut off by a moan from Sebastian as The Undertaker lapped at his cock. Sebastian threaded his fingers through the soft hair, using it to keep himself anchored while The Undertaker continued to tease him. The Undertaker knew what he wanted but refused to give it to Sebastian just yet and it was driving Sebastian insane.

For the time, Ciel vanished and the only thing Sebastian could think about was the pleasure surrounding his cock. He groaned loudly and bucked his hips up, urging The Undertaker to do more than tease him, while long fingers tightened in gray hair. They tugged slightly, giving a silent warning that Sebastian wasn't in the mood to play around.

Sebastian heard The Undertaker chuckle lowly and the man gave the tip of his cock one last swipe before lowering his head, taking the hard flesh in his mouth. "Ah fuck," Sebastian moaned, legs trembling at the onslaught of pleasure. His mind was blissfully blank at the desire racing through his body. It had been far too long and Sebastian had spent too many months yearning after Ciel.

Crimson eyes fluttered open and darted to the side, taking in Ciel who still stood in the office and was listening to everything that was happening. Ciel's face was flushed and his breath came fast as he took in the noises that circled the office, and Sebastian couldn't help but groan lowly at the sight.

His eyes closed again, pretending that it was Ciel who was sucking his cock and Sebastian's hips bucked harshly at the thought. The Undertaker gagged slightly and Sebastian murmured an apology as his hips were held down. He rocked against the grip, thrusting lightly into The Undertaker's mouth and feeling the man's tongue press against the underside of his length.

A free hand came up to knead his sac lightly, further teasing him and Sebastian groaned loudly. He could only think about the heat surrounding his cock and he tilted his head back more, searching for more pleasure. Already, his orgasm was close and it served to show just how long it had been and Sebastian grunted slightly.

"Ciel," he panted lowly as the image in his mind grew stronger. It was easy to believe that Ciel was sucking his cock now, his tongue swiping at the tip and cleaning away the drops of precum that beaded there. Ciel lowered his head and took him to the base, nose pressed against the coarse curls that rested there before swallowing around him.

The action had Sebastian cursing loudly and he gave a weak buck against the hands that held him down. On the other side of the room, Sebastian could hear the heavy breaths and whimpering from someone. Someone who was immensely turned on by the scene between him and Ciel. But they didn't deserve his attention right now, because brilliant blue eyes were gazing up at him, darkened with lust as Ciel bobbed his head slowly.

"More," Sebastian murmured and his eyes fluttered under his eyelids. He felt the hand on his hip slip away, giving him free rein to thrust and he did so without another thought. His hips jerked up, thrusting into the mouth around him and feeling the heat coil all the more tighter for it. Ciel kept pace with him wonderfully, moving with him so he didn't choke and Sebastian called his name softly.

A finger traced down his legs and Sebastian trembled as it ghosted across his sac before moving down to rub the area between his balls and anus. Sebastian cried out at the touch and he jerked in the chair as the finger continued to tease him while Ciel continued to suck harshly. He was close and Sebastian could only tremble as Ciel worked him over.

The softest whimper of 'Master' from Ciel had Sebastian coming hard into the mouth around his cock and he panted Ciel's name as he came, hips jerking erratically. Through it all, the sinful mouth on his cock swallowed every last drop until he was finished before pulling back slowly. One last lick was given to his sensitive tip and Sebastian shuddered at the feeling.

Lethargically, Sebastian opened his eyes, feeling sated as he looked down at the person kneeling between his knees. Emerald eyes gazed up at him, heavy with lust and arousal and Sebastian's fingers slipped away from gray hair, falling to rest on his naked legs. His illusion of blue eyes and dark hair was shattered and Sebastian was quickly struck with the reality of the situation as he struggled to breathe again.

His eyes darted to the side where Ciel was standing, face flushed and hands covered with cooling come. "You lost, Ciel," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "Take him home, Ronald."

No more words were spoken and Ciel followed Ron like an obedient puppy, leaving the office and shutting the door behind him. The door closed softly, but to Sebastian it was a loud slam, one that made him flinch harshly in his seat and he brought his hand up to press against his face.

"What did I just do?" He murmured, guilt washing over his body. He had sunk to Ciel's level by being cruel in his actions and flaunting something in front of Ciel, knowing that Ciel couldn't have it even though he wanted it. It was meant as a punishment, but in the end, Sebastian had only turned into the people he disliked.

Those who used their power to make others bend to their will.

"I'm as bad as Claude," Sebastian gasped, his hand sliding away from his face. He trembled slightly as The Undertaker pressed up against him, nuzzling him in an attempt to comfort him.

"You're not Claude," The Undertaker answered, cupping his cheeks. "You did nothing wrong, Sebastian."

Sebastian shook his head. "I shouldn't have done that. I should have just told him to leave instead of having him listen to that." It wasn't fair to do that to someone he cared about, even if Ciel didn't see him. He reached up and grasped The Undertaker's shoulders. "I don't know what to do anymore," he gasped.

Green eyes lowered slightly and The Undertaker sighed. "You're just conflicted right now, Sebastian. You didn't do anything wrong. A little punishment is good for a person and may help him in the future."

Sebastian squeezed his eyes shut and leaned into the touch. He wanted to believe the words The Undertaker spoke, that what he had done was for the best, but there was something there that nagged on his conscience. It was the smallest twinge of guilt that made Sebastian feel like scum. He had just treated Ciel, someone he wanted and cared for, like dirt. Treated him the same way Ciel treated him.

As though he was invisible and didn't exist. A feeling Sebastian knew all too well in the light of day.

But unlike Ciel, Sebastian actually felt the guilt of his actions, while Ciel would never feel that. Ciel would never believe that his actions were wrong and nothing would ever change. Today had shown Sebastian that and made him harden his resolve not to let Ciel get to him anymore.

Perhaps it was best to forget Ciel Phantomhive and move on.


	5. Chapter 5

Ciel drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, ignoring the mass of people that walked in front of his car while he sat contemplating his next move. It wasn't as though he didn't have a move, but instead he wasn't sure how to go about it. Ciel always knew what he wanted and always planned carefully how to go about it. He knew what he needed to do but it wasn't anything easy.

It seemed as though being around Claude was a bad influence and now that Ciel had a day away from the man, he was able to see exactly how he had treated Sebastian. Whereas Claude was the voice of iniquitous and prompted Ciel to join the crowd even when something was wrong, Master was the exact opposite.

While Master ran a less than conventional business, he had his morals that he kept to and compared to Claude, was more than honorable. He had a way of making Ciel feel guilty about his actions against Sebastian and made him look at Sebastian in a different light. Ciel wasn't sure how Master did it, but after the other night, Ciel had felt more than guilty with what he had done to Sebastian.

Sebastian didn't deserve to be treated that way and Ciel had let it happen, because he wanted to put on a good face in front of Claude. Show that he was worthy enough of Claude's attention by acting and feeling the same way to Sebastian as Claude felt for the other male. It was low and immature, but then again, the pressure to impress someone often did weird things to a person.

Nevertheless, Ciel didn't have to act that way in front of Master. The man found it utterly repulsive and was furious at Ciel for acting in such a way. DIE lived in the shadows and ran their company the way they wanted to, without any pressure from the outside. They didn't care that their company drew negative attention and that many people wanted them to stop producing such crude DVD's. They continued with what they wanted because it was something they enjoyed doing. Why should they try to fit into the cookie cutter shape that society provided for them? What was wrong with breaking that preformed shape?

It was for that reason that Master was annoyed with Ciel, because he had accepted the shape that society gave him. Ciel had given into that pressure to conform to what Claude wanted from him and had yelled at Sebastian. It wasn't something Ciel was proud of but at most, he could hope to right some of the wrongs he had committed.

With a heavy sigh, Ciel climbed out of his car and rubbed at his eyes. He knew what he needed to do but that didn't mean that it was going to be easy. There was a chance that Sebastian wouldn't even listen to him, let alone see him. And after all that Ciel had done to Sebastian, he didn't blame Sebastian.

Ciel locked the car and jogged across the street. He paused in front of the apartment building that Sebastian lived in and grimaced slightly at the front of it. It was even dirtier looking up close and for a moment, Ciel debated about going in. He pushed the thoughts from his mind and steeled himself before opening the front door.

The air had a lingering scent of stale cigarette smoke that had Ciel's nose curling as he started to walk through the hallways. He knew what apartment the man was in and quickly made his way to the fourth floor before he could back out. Ciel stopped in front of the door, doubled checked that it was the correct one, and knocked loudly.

He shifted on his feet as his heart raced against his chest. He didn't know what was going to happen and could only hope for the best. Even now, Ciel wasn't sure if Sebastian was awake or not. The curtains were drawn again and every light seemed to be off, as though Sebastian was asleep or busy doing something.

Ciel raised his hand to knock again when the door swung open and Ciel stumbled back in surprise. "Se-Sebastian," he stammered and tried to calm his nerves. "I hope I didn't wake you."

Crimson eyes stared at him and Ciel could see the carefully guarded expression on Sebastian's face. It didn't give anything away and Ciel could only stare at the man before him, finding that the words weren't coming. Instead, Ciel was still trying to wrap his mind around the figure that stood before him and trying to figure out if it was real or not.

"Can I come in?" He asked finally, tearing his eyes from Sebastian's body so he could look back into red eyes. "I was hoping we could talk in private."

Sebastian glanced over his shoulder, as though debating about something before releasing a heavy sigh and stepping back to allow Ciel to pass. It was a clear sign that Sebastian wasn't happy with the choice but was acting as the more mature of the two by giving Ciel a chance to speak what was on his mind.

Ciel walked into the room slowly, his eyes trailing over Sebastian's body one last time. The man looked as though he had been getting ready for bed, his hair wet from a shower and loose sleep pants hanging low on what looked like slim hips. A slightly baggy nightshirt covered his torso and although it was loose, it wasn't as baggy as the suit Sebastian usually wore. It gave the impression that Sebastian wasn't as scrawny as Ciel first thought and made him rethink some things about Sebastian.

A glass of water was set on the living room table and Ciel glanced at it before turning his attention to Sebastian as Sebastian took a seat on the couch. The room was sparsely furnished, with just the bare minimum needed to be comfortable, but it was clean and Ciel slowly lowered himself down onto the sheet-covered couch.

"I guess I should explain why I'm here," he started, picking up the glass and holding it lightly in his hands. The glass was clean as well and Ciel didn't have any fears about drinking from it. It seemed that despite his and the buildings appearance, Sebastian was a rather clean individual and wasn't fond of filth.

Sebastian nodded at him and kept his mouth firmly shut. He sat rigid in the chair, as though Ciel was going to attack him; verbally or physically, without warning. It made the guilt inside Ciel grow even more and he took a quick sip at his water before placing the glass to the side so he could start talking.

"I wanted to apologize for my actions the other day. I was wrong and should never have yelled at you in such a way," he said, keeping eye contact with Sebastian the whole time. "It wasn't fair to blame you for causing the fight when it was Claude who was at fault for his actions. But I was too worried about what Claude would think of me if I went against him. Silly, I know."

A small snort left Sebastian's mouth and the frown on the man's face told Ciel that Sebastian still hadn't given his forgiveness. That knowledge hurt more than Ciel thought it would and his eyes lowered slightly. He knew that Sebastian wouldn't forgive him but he had hoped that at most Sebastian would acknowledge him more than what he was doing now.

Ciel shifted in his chair and laced his fingers together, trying to think about what he was going to say next. "I can't take back what I said or did, but I hope that I can at least start making things right by apologizing. I truly am sorry about what I did and I feel terrible about it." He glanced to the side, unsure if he should continue or not. He felt as though he was digging his own hole the more he kept talking.

Silence settled over the apartment and Ciel resisted the urge to shift in his chair, no matter how awkward the tension in the room was. Instead, his eyes darted around the room once more, taking everything in. The door to the bedroom was closed and Ciel turned his attention to the living room, which was still bare no matter how much he looked at it. He couldn't find anything of personal value and it made Ciel wonder if Sebastian had anything he valued in his life.

Judging by the state of his apartment, Ciel was inclined to say no. Everything in the living room and combined kitchen was probably provided by the apartment and Ciel couldn't find anything of Sebastian's around the room. It was sad and Ciel felt the urge to buy at least a picture for the man so the room wasn't so depressing.

He turned his attention back to Sebastian and flushed when he realized the man was looking at him intently. "Your apartment is very clean," he said lamely. Ciel winced at the words and felt his ears grow warm but the damage was already done.

A low chuckle left Sebastian's mouth before he stood up and moved into the kitchen. Shuffling noises met Ciel's ears before the man returned with a pad of paper and pencil. Something was scribbled down on the paper before it was passed over to Ciel, who accepted it with a small nod. Neat handwriting flowed across the paper and Ciel blinked at the words before laughing slightly himself.

' _Your words, while true, are a failed attempt at covering up the fact that you think my apartment is a sad and lonely thing. Your eyes give you away.'_

"I'm sorry. But it is rather bare in here. You need something to liven up the place," Ciel said with a small smile before glancing at Sebastian. "What else can you see in my eyes?" He asked almost shyly. People had always mentioned that he had nice eyes, but nothing more than that. To have someone see past the blue that everyone found attractive was something new for Ciel.

Sebastian held out his hand and Ciel passed the pad of paper back to Sebastian. He watched as the man started writing, his hand moving smoothly across the paper. Watching Sebastian made Ciel realize that the man's nails were painted black as well, just as The Undertaker's were along with Master. It made him wonder if it was a trend at DIE to have black nails.

The paper was passed back to Ciel and he accepted it gratefully, wondering what Sebastian had said. His face grew warm at the words and Ciel couldn't help but wonder if that was how Sebastian felt about him. ' _I see the dedication you have for your work, how it drives you forward in your goal to better the company. There's also affection for your job and you care for it deeply, along with the people you work with. That devotion extends to the people you care about and in that look, I can see the love you have for your family and friends. It makes you look happy and peaceful, and when you smile, your eyes light up all the more.'_

No one had told him such things before and Ciel itched to look into a mirror so he could see his eyes for himself, wondering what he could see when he looked into them. Ciel glanced up and gazed at Sebastian, noting that crimson eyes were still looking at him. He stood up slowly and moved over to Sebastian's side, looking down at him with curious eyes.

"You have unique eyes," Ciel murmured and reached forward to brush his fingers over the healing cut on Sebastian's lip. "I never really noticed them before." It was a shame too because the more Ciel looked at them, the more he found himself falling into wine red eyes. Eyes that hid so many emotions that Ciel couldn't list them all.

Sebastian turned his head, looking away from Ciel and making his hand fall to his side. Hurt raced through Ciel at the denial but he understood the reason behind Sebastian's actions. He had over stepped his boundaries and had acted familiar with Sebastian when they were anything but. Ciel didn't deserve to touch Sebastian, not after everything he had done to Sebastian.

"Sorry," he muttered and retreated to the couch. The pad of paper bounced on the cushions as Ciel plopped down on the couch and he passed the papers back to Sebastian. The pad was accepted and for a moment, they simply stared at each other. "I should probably get going. I've bothered you enough today," Ciel said finally.

The pencil scratched across the paper as Sebastian wrote out his reply and Ciel stayed in his seat, trying to wait patiently for Sebastian's answer. He nearly snatched the paper from Sebastian's hand when it was passed back to him and his eyes quickly scanned over the words. ' _I forgive you Ciel, but only this time. Next time I won't turn the other cheek. Things aren't always as they appear and you don't know the whole story._ '

Ciel nodded slightly, understanding the words that Sebastian wrote. It seemed as though he had been right and there was something between Claude and Sebastian that no one else knew about. He didn't say anything about it, as that was something Sebastian wouldn't tell him but there was a chance Claude would if Ciel asked him.

"Thank you for listening to me," Ciel said instead and stood up. "I should get going. I have some work to do and you look tired."

Sebastian inclined his head slightly and stood up as well. The glass of water was placed in the kitchen before Sebastian led Ciel to the door, being the proper host by showing him to the door. Ciel jumped slightly as Sebastian placed his hand on the small of his back as he guided him out the door and Ciel shifted in the hallway, unsure if he should say anything else.

"Have a good day," Ciel murmured, giving a small wave. A faint smile flickered across Sebastian's lips before the door was closed quietly and Ciel was left to stand alone in the hallway. He hissed lowly as he turned away, feeling more confused than ever before and feeling as though things had become all the more complicated.

Despite everything, Ciel had honestly enjoyed his time with Sebastian and was slightly disappointed that it was over already. The man had a quiet and easygoing personality that seemed to pull Ciel in despite Sebastian's looks. Ciel knew that he shouldn't be attracted to Sebastian as his looks alone should be a turn off but there was something there that made Ciel want to go back.

And it made him confused.

* * *

Ciel ran a hand over his face before letting out a low sigh. He was stuck in another meeting, one that Ciel was less than enthused about, especially as it was such a nice day outside. But they were debating finances and Ciel was supposed to be there to watch in the hopes that he could learn something from the debates. Claude was lucky and didn't have to be in the meeting even though he was still somewhere in the building, but Sebastian had been asked to come in, as the man understood finances and Ciel couldn't help but glance in Sebastian's direction.

Sebastian looked attentive but Ciel could tell that Sebastian was tired, his eyes drooping slightly. His arms were twitching slightly, as though Sebastian was trying to stay awake but as Ciel leaned back further in his chair, he could see the real reason behind the motions. An old electronic chess game rested in Sebastian's lap and every subtle move that Sebastian made would make his arms twitch just slightly.

It made Ciel laugh lightly to himself and shake his head, knowing that the game was the only thing keeping Sebastian awake right now. He looked up at the clock and cleared his throat, drawing attention to himself. "I think it would be wise if we took a fifteen minute break," he stated, seeing that everyone around him was getting a glazed look in their eyes.

A murmur of agreements floated in the air and Ciel stood up, moving towards the door behind Sebastian. He waited until they were out in the hallway before trotting up to Sebastian's side. "So who was winning? You or the computer?"

Sebastian turned his head to look at him, a small smile on his lips as he shoved his hands into his pockets. There was a small shrug of his shoulders as they continued to move down the hallway and towards the break room. Ciel took a seat at the table while Sebastian pulled out two drinks from the small fridge before setting them on the table. Ciel watched the man curiously as Sebastian pulled out the game and set it before him.

His eyebrow rose in surprise at the screen that declared Sebastian a winner and he looked up at the man. "You had it on beginner level, didn't you?" He teased. The comment made Sebastian chuckle lowly and Ciel felt himself smile in response. "I didn't know you liked chess. It's an interesting game."

Sebastian nodded his head before he started pressing some buttons. Ciel watched as the screen was cleared and a new game was set before them. Sebastian gestured at him, telling him to make the first move and Ciel stared down at the game, pondering his first move. Never before had he expected to sit before Sebastian and play a game of chess with the man. There was something soothing about it and as Ciel made his move, he found that he enjoyed it.

He let Sebastian move his pawn before making his next move. It was a silent game, but Ciel didn't mind the silence and he found that instead, it was rather enjoyable. Blue eyes watched as Sebastian made his play and Ciel studied Sebastian's face, wondering what was going through the male's mind. He could almost see the gears turning in Sebastian's head, thinking about his next move and at the same time, wondering what Ciel was playing at.

It was something that Ciel wasn't sure about either. He wasn't sure what had prompted him to sit down and talk to Sebastian about chess. Just because the man liked the game didn't mean anything. Many people liked chess and Ciel could talk to any of them, but instead, Ciel had chosen Sebastian. Which was odd for two reasons. The first being that the man couldn't talk, so it was a rather one sided conversation. But the other was the most puzzling, because before all of this had started happening, Ciel wouldn't have been caught dead in the same room with Sebastian. Yet now, here he was, playing chess with him as though they were great friends.

Ciel wasn't sure what it all meant, but he found that Sebastian wasn't as bad as he first thought. Sebastian's looks had always made Ciel believe that Sebastian was uneducated and someone that he shouldn't converse with. But the more Ciel was getting to see of Sebastian, the more he found himself enjoying Sebastian's company.

His eyes flickered to Sebastian's body and then back to his face, noting that Sebastian wasn't wearing his glasses today. They continued up, taking in the greasy looking hair and Ciel stared at it for a while. From far away, it seemed as though Sebastian didn't wash or care for his hair, but from where Ciel was sitting, he could see that it wasn't the case. He reached forward and let his fingers brush over the dark locks, ignoring the way Sebastian stiffened before jerking away from the touch.

"Its hairspray," Ciel murmured, his fingers rubbing the clump of hair together. "It's not greasy or gross, it's just hairspray."

Sebastian slapped Ciel's hands away but Ciel wasn't going to have any of it. He knocked Sebastian's hands to the side and stood up, circling around the table until he was standing next to Sebastian. Ciel reached forward and ran his fingers through the stiff hair, a small frown settling on his face.

"You style your hair this way, don't you," he stated, giving the locks a small tug. "It's not naturally like this but instead forced. Why would you make yourself look as though you have stringy and unkempt hair? You should know that it looks bad this way."

Crimson eyes darted to the side, noting wanting to look at Ciel and Ciel watched as Sebastian pursed his lips together tightly, a clear sign that the man didn't want to answer. He wasn't sure what Sebastian was trying to hide, but Ciel wanted to get to the bottom of it and it seemed as though Sebastian was keeping more than one secret from him.

Ciel tilted Sebastian's head back, noting that red eyes were looking everywhere but at him. "Sebastian," he called and waited until Sebastian finally looked at him. Crimson eyes were flooded with emotions, making Ciel suck in a sharp breath. The word stunning came to his mind and Ciel found himself rubbing his thumbs against Sebastian's scalp. "Tomorrow, don't spray your hair. Come to the shoot without it."

Sebastian quickly shook his head, a mix of anger and frustration filling his eyes. His hand dipped into his pocket to pull out his phone before quickly typing out a word. Ciel read over the word, noting that it was Claude's name and clicked his tongue at it. Claude was somehow involved in this thing as well, whatever it was.

"I don't care what Claude says. Or does," Ciel added as an afterthought, remembering the incident last time Sebastian had come to work with clean hair. "I'll handle him, so you do as I ask. Please," he finished.

Sebastian seemed to mull over the words before letting out a heavy sigh. He nodded finally and Ciel felt a smile cross his face as his hands slipped away from Sebastian's hair. That was what he wanted to hear and he circled around the table, sitting heavily at the table before turning his attention back to the game.

They were well past their fifteen-minute break, but no one had called them and until they did, Ciel was just going to assume that no one had missed their absence. He wanted to finish their game before the day was over, hoping to find Sebastian's skill at chess. Perhaps they could play again in the future if Sebastian's level was up to par with his.

Another piece was moved and Ciel frowned as his knight was taken, bringing Sebastian closer to victory. "You're good," he murmured and went to make his own move. "It's been a while since I was able to play chess with someone who proved to be a challenge."

Sebastian snorted in amusement before moving again and Ciel could only stare as another of his pieces was taken. Sebastian was quickly approaching check and Ciel wasn't sure when it had happened. It seemed that perhaps Ciel was the one who wasn't up to par with the level Sebastian was playing at.

As the game progressed, that fact was made obvious quickly and in the end, Ciel could only sit back and look at the screen as the game declared Sebastian the winner. "Seems that I have more to learn," Ciel said finally, amazed at the way Sebastian could play the game of chess. He looked up as the game was removed from the table. "Will you teach me?" He asked.

Curious eyes looked up at him and Ciel met Sebastian's gaze, wanting Sebastian to know that he was serious. There was hesitation in Sebastian's eyes but other emotions warred for dominance as well and after what seemed like hours, Sebastian nodded. The simple gesture made Ciel smile widely and his chest to feel light.

"Thank you," he murmured and stood up slowly, glancing at the clock. "We should probably be getting back. I'm sure the meeting is almost done by now. But I had much more fun playing chess with you. You're very good."

Sebastian stared at him and Ciel shifted on his feet before pulling Sebastian out of the chair in a subtle signal that they should head back. He wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish, but the thought of being able to play chess again with Sebastian made Ciel anxious for their next meeting.

Sebastian was silent as they made their way back to the meeting room and Ciel opened the door softly. They slipped in without a word and no one raised an eyebrow at their late arrival. Letting out a small sigh, Ciel settled down in his chair and watched as Sebastian did the same. The game was pulled out again and Ciel forced himself to pay attention to the man speaking, silently hoping that this wouldn't take long.

Otherwise, it was going to be a long day.

* * *

A low hiss of impatience left Ciel's lips as he shifted his weight and glanced at his watch. They were due to start shooting the video in two hours and usually Sebastian was here by now. The crew was setting up already but they were waiting for Sebastian to lead the more complicated aspects of the job.

Ciel's fingers twitched and he wanted to call Sebastian, but didn't have Sebastian's phone number. He had never seen a reason before to carry it and now Ciel was finding a good reason to have it on hand. It wasn't so much a problem that Sebastian was running a little late, as there was plenty of things to do without the man. That wasn't what was testing Ciel's patience.

Instead, it was the fact that Sebastian was supposed to come to the shoot today without his styled hair and Ciel wanted to see it. It was already an interesting enough fact that Sebastian was purposely making himself look unkempt and dirty, and Ciel wanted to pull the man from that façade he had developed. He wanted to know the real Sebastian.

Ciel perked up as he caught sight of a company car pulling up to the site and he waited for the person to climb out of the car. Sebastian was the only one who drove the car to offsite shoots as he didn't have a vehicle of his own. Instead, he borrowed one of the company cars to get where he needed to be if he couldn't walk or take a bus there.

The moment Sebastian stepped out of the car, Ciel couldn't help but smile at the sight of clean hair. It looked better than the stiff and greasy looking hair that the man usually sported, and it was obvious that Sebastian was happy with the change. Crimson eyes were lighter and there was a happy shine to them that had Ciel's shoulders slumping with relief.

"That looks much better," Ciel stated as Sebastian walked up to him. Even though the man was still wearing his baggy suit, Ciel could see the difference between today and yesterday, and found that he liked it much better. "Keep it like that from now on. I don't want to see you making yourself look unattractive."

Sebastian's eyes widened slightly at his words and even Ciel felt a jolt of surprise at the words that had tumbled from his mouth. But now that the words were out, even Ciel had to admit that Sebastian's face looked attractive. If only Sebastian would wear something other than the baggy suit that made him look so scrawny.

Clicking his tongue, Ciel waved Sebastian on and quickly changed the subject. "We need you to get the lights set up to the equipment so we can control them from the back without having to stop all the time to change the settings. This shoot requires a lot of light change and it will be easier this way."

Sebastian nodded and moved past Ciel so he could start working. Ciel watched him go, noting that other people were noticing the difference in Sebastian's appearance as well. They stopped their work so they could greet him and more than once, they had to do a double take to make sure that they were seeing things correctly.

It was strange to watch Sebastian draw that sort of attention and Ciel found himself shifting uneasily on his feet, unsure if he liked all the attention that Sebastian was getting. He had been the one to realize that there was more to Sebastian than met the eye and had brought it out for everyone to see. Therefore, shouldn't he be the only one to see that side of Sebastian?

Ciel pushed the thoughts to the side, not wanting to think about them. They were only confusing and made Ciel feel strange. Sebastian had an interesting personality and maybe he cleaned up a bit, but that was it. The man had nothing on Claude and Master. They were still the two that Ciel was torn between.

That thought firmly planted in Ciel's mind, he moved away from Sebastian and let him work in peace. Ciel still needed to find Claude and make sure the man was ready to start the shoot in a few hours. No doubt Claude was in makeup and Ciel headed off in that direction. He needed to keep an eye on Claude after the stunt last time.

Not only that, but Sebastian had already confirmed that Claude was against the idea and that it was Claude who was the reason that Sebastian styled his hair that way in the first place. Since that was the case, there was no doubt in Ciel's mind that Claude would be furious at Sebastian for going against his wishes.

It still made Ciel want to know everything that was going on between the two brothers, as there was more there than either were showing. They were playing a good act, but it was an act that Ciel wanted to get to the bottom of. And Claude was the only one who could give him the answers that Ciel sought.

Ciel ran a hand over his face as he approached Claude, noting that he was almost done. Claude smiled at him as he approached and Ciel smiled back, giving a small wave for a greeting. "You ready for this next shoot? Seems like just yesterday we were working on it."

Claude chuckled. "Luckily it's been a few days since then and I've had some down time between shoots. Otherwise I might be too tired to work on it if the shoots were back to back." He smirked, showing that he was teasing.

Blue eyes rolled slightly. "Don't turn all pre-Madonna on me," Ciel commented as Claude stood up, stretching the kinks out of his body after sitting for so long. He ran an eye over Claude, making sure that everything was ready for the shoot. It wouldn't do to have something wrong and then trek all the way to the back of the set to fix it when they were already here now.

"Please, that's the last thing I'll be," Claude answered as they started to walk towards the set. "I worked hard to get where I am today and I'm not going to slack just because I'm famous and rich."

"So modest too," Ciel answered with a small laugh and nudged Claude slightly with his elbow. "I think we need to work on that aspect before we do anything else."

Claude waved his hand, brushing the comment aside. "I usually am. When have you ever heard me bragging about my accomplishments or shoving them in someone's face?" He asked.

Ciel cocked his head in thought before agreeing with the comment. Despite his success, Claude wasn't one to go around and shove that success in people's faces. Ciel could only figure that it had to do with the fact that Claude came from nothing and wasn't one to flaunt, choosing instead to keep that success to himself.

"Fine, but being levelheaded is not your strong suit," Ciel said instead as they drew closer to the set. "Even you have to admit that."

Claude shrugged. "I can admit that sometimes my patience is short. Usually when I have to deal with Sebastian."

Ciel nodded, glad that Claude brought up his brother. "Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about." He looked at Claude. "No more repeats of last time. I don't want either of you fighting."

Claude smirked. "I didn't know you were so concerned about me. It's rather touching."

Ciel rolled his eyes and let Claude think what he wanted. It was easier that way and kept Ciel's own confusing thoughts away. Because in all honesty, Ciel was more concerned about Sebastian and didn't want to see the look of hurt and betrayal on the man's face again. Now that Ciel was taking the time to get to know Sebastian, he was starting to realize that Sebastian wasn't as bad as Ciel first thought.

"I'm going to make sure all the equipment is set up and that we're ready to start in a bit," Ciel stated and moved away from Claude, letting Sebastian finish whatever he needed to do. Once away from Claude, Ciel made a beeline for Sebastian, wanting to see how the man was doing with the light set up.

He found the man hunched over a device that would control the lights and Ciel paused to watch him for a moment as fingers flew over the control, typing in the commands that would be needed. Ciel drifted closer until he was standing next to Sebastian's side and took a seat next to Sebastian. There was the slightest pause that told Ciel that Sebastian knew he was there before the man continued to work again.

Whatever it was that Sebastian was doing, it looked complicated and Ciel quickly found himself lost within the first few minutes. He turned his attention from the device and towards the male himself, taking in the clean hair. It looked soft and before Ciel could stop himself, he was reaching forward.

Sebastian's body jerked at the first touch of his fingers running through dark locks and Ciel hummed lowly in his throat, trying to soothe the man. Ciel wasn't sure what had prompted the urge but now that his fingers were touching the soft locks, Ciel didn't want to stop. They were soft to the touch and Ciel couldn't help but let a few strands slip through his fingers, watching them fall around Sebastian's face until they framed it.

"Soft," Ciel murmured and combed his fingers through the hair. They moved back up to rub against Sebastian's scalp as Master did and was rewarded with the lowest of sighs from Sebastian. Ciel smirked in triumph and shifted closer, wanting to elicit more sounds from Sebastian. "Feel good?" He asked, even though he could already see the answer.

Crimson eyes were closed in pleasure and Sebastian was leaving heavily into his touch. It made Ciel feel as though he was petting a cat, the way Sebastian responded to his touch and Ciel let his fingers trail down Sebastian's head until he brushed against the hairline on Sebastian's neck. He wasn't sure why he kept going, Ciel had already discovered what he wanted to know but there was something there.

"What's going on here?" A hard voice spoke, making them both jerk.

Ciel jerked away and his head snapped to the side to see Claude staring at them with cool eyes. He watched as Claude glanced at Sebastian first, narrowing at the sight of the man before turning to look at him. Golden eyes demanded answers and almost reluctantly, Ciel let his fingers fall from Sebastian's hair.

"We were just talking," Ciel answered. "Or rather I was and Sebastian was listening."

"About what?" Claude hissed.

Ciel shrugged. "Chess. Sebastian has an electronic game and I wanted to know where he bought the game. I like the game but I have no one to play it with."

Claude nodded tensely. "I see," he said and forced a smile on his face. "Ciel, do you mind giving Sebastian and me some brotherly time together? We have some things to talk about before the shoot."

Next to him, Sebastian tensed slightly and Ciel found that he knew exactly what they were going to talk about. "I afraid that I can't," Ciel said with a small smile and reached forward to run his fingers through Sebastian's hair again, letting it fall through his fingers. "I know why you're mad, I saw you two last time. But this is my doing, as I told him to make himself look more presentable, so I wish for him to keep it this way. He looks better now, don't you think?"

Claude faltered and for a second, the briefest hint of fear flickered through his eyes. "I suppose it's a change for the better, but it doesn't mean he's socially acceptable."

Ciel shrugged. "Perhaps. But it's a start," he answered and waved a hand at Claude, sending him away. "Now, go get ready. We need to finish the lights and then we can start shooting before it gets too hot."

Claude grunted and shot one last harsh glare at Sebastian before turning on his heel. Once he was gone, Ciel's hand slipped away from Sebastian's hair and he turned to look at the man. "I'm sorry if I just made things worse for you with your brother but you don't deserve that again."

Sebastian shook his head and dug in his pocket for his phone. A message was quickly typed out and Ciel accepted the device, reading the words quickly. ' _I don't want your pity, Ciel. I can take care of myself.'_

Clicking his tongue, Ciel passed the phone back to Sebastian. "It's not pity, it's the truth. You're a nice guy underneath it all and I'm just sorry that I didn't realize that earlier. You play a mean game of chess and you're actually very nice to be around." He wasn't sure where the words were coming from but Ciel found that he couldn't stop them and more than that, they were in fact the truth.

Sebastian was silent and Ciel could see the gears turning in Sebastian's mind, trying to decide if Ciel was playing a game with him or not. But for once, there was no game. Ciel wasn't getting close to Sebastian in order to find out the information that Claude sought but instead, wished to get closer because Sebastian had a personality that drew him in.

Crimson eyes rolled at him and Ciel knew that Sebastian didn't believe him but that didn't mean anything. Ciel knew the truth and now he just needed to show it to Sebastian.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for taking so long to post the rest of the story!! I'm determined to post the remaining chapters before the year is over. Again, this is still unbeta-ed, all mistakes are my own. Enjoy! ^^

6.

Hard plastic clinked together as Ciel walked down the street, a box clutched tightly to his side. It was late afternoon and Ciel found himself wandering across the street to Sebastian’s apartment. It was a move that had surprised Ciel and at first, he felt as though it was a dream. However, the sun was too hot for it to be a dream and Ciel knew that he was indeed standing in front of the building. 

It had been two days since Ciel had last seen Sebastian and close to a week since Ciel had visited the DIE set. To tell the truth, DIE had been the farthest thing on Ciel’s mind these days after Ciel’s last meeting with Sebastian. Master had crossed his mind once or twice, but for the most part, Sebastian had stayed at the forefront of his thoughts.

Letting out a sigh, Ciel made his way into the building, the chess game held close to his side. It was a new set, as Sebastian couldn’t keep playing on an old electronic game when he had company. That, and Ciel hoped that something new would help liven the place up a bit. He turned down the hallway and made his way to Sebastian’s apartment, his heart starting to race with each step that brought him closer to the door.

He was nervous, not knowing how Sebastian would react to seeing him again but Ciel wasn’t going to back out now. With a deep breath, Ciel knocked on the door and waited patiently, hoping that Sebastian wasn’t asleep already. He didn’t have to wait long before the door was opened and surprised eyes gazed at him.

“Hey,” Ciel murmured, feeling shy all of a sudden. “I was hoping we could play some chess? Unless you’re busy of course.” He held up the game so Sebastian could see that he wasn’t lying.

The smallest of smiles slipped across Sebastian’s lips before he stepped back and held the door open for Ciel, and Ciel gratefully stepped inside. The apartment was still the same, old and sad looking but the only difference from before was the smell. It washed over Ciel and enveloped him, making Ciel’s stomach growl loudly.

Sebastian stared at him and Ciel gave a weak laugh. “I didn’t think I was hungry when I came here but I guess I was. What smells so good?” He asked, looking around for a takeout bag. 

The older male gestured to the table and Ciel sat down, feeling bad about imposing but if Sebastian was going to offer than he wasn’t going to refuse. The table was clean, just as the rest of the apartment was and Ciel watched Sebastian carefully as the man padded into the kitchen. Dishes were pulled out and set by the stove where Sebastian removed a lid from a pot that rested on the stove.

Steam curled around Sebastian’s face as something was served onto a plate before the man moved back to the kitchen. The plate was set before Ciel and he could only stare at it, mouthwatering at the scent. “You made this?” Ciel asked, tearing his attention away from the food to look at Sebastian. 

Sebastian nodded and gestured for Ciel to eat before he went back to the kitchen to get his own plate. Ciel watched him go and waited patiently until Sebastian came back, even though he wanted nothing more than to tuck into the roast that rested before him. It smelled delicious and was already falling apart on the plate, showing just how tender it was. 

A glass of water was set before him before Sebastian sat down and Ciel took a quick bite of his food. The pork was tender, just as Ciel thought it would be and he moaned lowly at the taste. “It’s delicious,” he said finally and turned to look at Sebastian. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

A low chuckle left Sebastian’s mouth and he reached for a pad of paper that was on the table. Words were written on the paper and it was passed off to Ciel who took it eagerly. ‘There’s a lot you don’t know about me.’ The words were a harsh reminder, one that Ciel hoped to change. He was slowly learning things about Sebastian and found that with the few things he did know about the older male, the more he wanted to know.

Suddenly it wasn’t about the deal with Claude anymore and Ciel just wanted to know more about Sebastian because he wanted to. It amazed him that Sebastian had so much talent and interesting qualities right under his nose. And now that Ciel had a taste, he needed more. 

“So let’s change that,” he said suddenly, making Sebastian pause in his eating. Crimson eyes looked at him in confusion and Sebastian cocked his head slightly, a sign that he was curious but willing to listen. “You said that I don’t know a lot about you, so we should change that.”

A look of hesitation crossed Sebastian’s face and Ciel could see the thoughts running through the man’s head. Sebastian had every right not to trust him, even after the actions the other day. Because a few good deeds could not undo the cruel and rotten ones that Ciel had inflicted on Sebastian earlier. Nothing could ever change that and Ciel would have to live with those consequences now.

“I’m not saying that you have to give tell me your deepest, darkest secret,” Ciel said quickly, hoping for a last ditch effort to convince Sebastian from saying no. “Just something simple for now. Like, when’s your birthday?”

Humming lightly, Sebastian reached for the pad of paper and quickly wrote something down before it was slid across the table to Ciel. It was picked up by him and Ciel read the words, taking them in quietly. ‘If you’re so curious about me, you can always ask Claude.’

Ciel shook his head as the paper was passed back. “I don’t want to hear the answers from Claude,” he stated. “I want to hear them from you. At least I know they’ll be right. I don’t think Claude knows a thing about you. Probably thinks your favorite color is pink or something.”

The words made Sebastian laugh and Ciel was surprised by the sound, having never heard Sebastian laugh before. The man snorted, chuckled, and grunted, but never before had the older male laughed. It was a relaxing noise and Ciel wanted to make Sebastian laugh again. Because it wasn’t just the noise that sounded nice, but Sebastian’s face relaxed as well. The usual guarded features melted away, leaving Sebastian bare and letting Ciel see everything for once. And it was beautiful.

Ciel was pulled out of his trance as the paper tapped his arm and he reached for it, skimming over the words. ‘He probably would say something like that. I’m sure you’ve noticed but my brother and I don’t talk or know much about each other. But if you’re wondering about my favorite color, I have several, so I couldn’t just pick one. I doubt there are many people who have a single favorite color. Mine are dark red, black, and blue. Can I ask yours?’

Beaming, Ciel nodded and handed the paper back. “I like blue too, more so the blue that matches my eyes. But I think I’m starting to like a garnet red now.” He flushed and shoved a wedge of potato in his mouth before he could say anything else that might embarrass him. He wasn’t sure where those words had come from, truth or not, but they were still something that shouldn’t have been said aloud.

He swallowed the potato and took a drink of water. “You cook really well. Did…did your father teach you how to cook?” He asked cautiously. This was a question that was more personal than a favorite color or birthday, which Sebastian still hadn’t answered. Ciel wouldn’t blame the older male if he didn’t want to answer.

Sebastian seemed to ponder the question, trying to decide if it should be answered or not before starting to write. Ciel watched him anxiously, wondering if he would be turned down politely or if he would get an answer. He chewed thoughtfully as Sebastian continued to write, wondering if Sebastian could teach him how to cook. The most Ciel could cook was grilled cheese and a few other simple dishes. Why learn to cook when you could hire someone to do it for you?

The paper was passed off and Ciel set down his fork so he could read it properly. ‘Yes, my adopted father taught me to cook. He was a genius in the kitchen and was always happy to teach me something new. I learned everything I could from him before time took him from me and I continued without him. I still cook his dishes and mix in my own as a way to keep his memory alive and keep him close. But I’m nowhere as good as a cook as he was.’

Somehow Ciel found that hard to believe, as the dinner that Sebastian made was delicious and it seemed near impossible for someone to create something better than the dish before him. “He sounds like a nice man,” Ciel said instead and poked at his empty plate. “My mother is an okay cook and my dad would never touch anything in the kitchen. Most of our meals come from the cook so I don’t know how to cook much. I wouldn’t know who to ask. I think you’re lucky that you were able to share that with your father.”

He didn’t mean to sound so bitter and Ciel didn’t feel bitter about the fact, but there was a small hint of longing in his body. Funtom Company was the only thing he shared with his father and the love of music was something he shared with his mother. But that didn’t seem very personal or touching as what Sebastian had with his adopted father. 

Ciel blinked as the dish before him was picked up and was replaced instead with the pad of paper once more as Sebastian vanished into the kitchen. He read over the neat handwriting as dishes clinked together in the background as Sebastian washed them. ‘Would you like to learn how to cook? You have to learn at some point in case a time ever arises that you find yourself without a cook.’

He turned around quickly to look at Sebastian who was placing the dishes in a drying rack and choosing to ignore the dishwasher that rested next to him. “Do you mean it?” He asked quickly as the last dish was set aside and the sink was drained of soapy water. “You would really teach me how to cook something?”

Sebastian glanced at him before nodding. Another plate was pulled out along with a knife and cut a thick slice of cake that rested on a stand. It was placed on the plate and carried into the dining room. Sebastian set it before Ciel and took a seat, watching him carefully. ‘But before I do that, I have a question to ask you.’ He wrote on the paper before handing it to Ciel.

Ciel accepted it and found himself looking at Sebastian. “Go ahead,” he said, suddenly nervous. He wasn’t sure what was on Sebastian’s mind but the older male looked serious and Ciel couldn’t help but wonder what that meant for him. He ate a piece of his cake while he waited, hoping that it would help to calm his nerves.

The cake was just as delicious as the roast and if Ciel could pick the first dish they were going to cook, then Ciel wanted to know how to bake a cake. He had a terrible sweet tooth, but he was forever spoiling it and the cake was hitting the spot without fail. He took another bite as the paper was passed off to him and Ciel found himself wondering if Sebastian knew sign language.

‘If I may be blunt, why are you suddenly acting as though you care so interested in me? You would always ignore me before but now you’re noticing that I exist. I don’t take kindly to being treated like a game that needs to be solved so you can drop it once the mystery is solved. Because if that’s your true intentions, then you will find that the answer is something you won’t like at all.’

Ciel swallowed harshly and shook his head. There was a threat in the letter and one that Sebastian would follow through with, of that, Ciel had no doubt. “I know I treated you badly and wrong before, and nothing I say can take that back. No amount of sorry can change anything or make it better. I was blinded, only seeing things at face value instead of looking past appearances,” he admitted. “But when I stopped to look deeper, I realized that I was judging unfairly and that those first impressions weren’t always right. You’re very interesting Sebastian and the more I find out about you, the more I want to know.”

He looked away, unsure how Sebastian would take those words. They would either backfire on him and put Sebastian forever out of his reach or they would help him get closer to the older male, making them something close to friends. The thought had a nice feel to it and suddenly Ciel found that calling Sebastian his friend didn’t sound so horrible.

A quick glance at Sebastian showed that the older male was still debating the words and Ciel’s nervousness mounted even more until finally Sebastian started to write. It was almost humorous how Ciel was desperately hoping that Sebastian would accept him when not almost a month ago, he would’ve barely cared to know what was on Sebastian’s mind.

Ciel took a deep breath as the paper was passed back to him and read it carefully, soaking in every word. ‘I won’t flat out say that I don’t believe you, but you have to admit that the suddenness of it all is very strange and causes pause for concern. I have every right to be distrustful of you and turn you away but I’m going take a chance; one that I hope won’t end with me looking like a fool. I still don’t trust you but I’ll give you that chance.’

“Thank you,” Ciel croaked and the paper in his hand crumpled as he gripped it tighter than necessary. “Thank you. It means a lot to me that you’re willing to give me this chance. I promise that you won’t regret it.” He held out his hand, wanting to show Sebastian that he was serious but the older male shook his head.

‘Friendship isn’t started with a handshake, but instead when two people decide to take the extra effort to get to know each other.’ Sebastian wrote quickly.

Ciel’s lips twitched and he found himself nodding in agreement as his hand lowered. He couldn’t approach this in a business type mindset. That seemed too cruel. “Should we start then with a game of chess? You learn about people that way,” he said, gesturing to the box that sat at the edge of the table. “It was the reason I came here in the first place, but I won’t complain about the sudden change in schedule.”

Sebastian chuckled and looked at the clock. He gazed at it for a little longer before writing out a reply. ‘We can play for a short while but I will have to leave in half an hour.’

Ciel nodded but didn’t press to ask where Sebastian was going. He knew the man left around this time so he could make it to the site on time, provided Ciel’s hunch was correct, but he didn’t want to come out and tell Sebastian that he knew his secret. That was something he wanted the older male to tell him for himself and Ciel was content to play ignorant for a while.

“That’s fine. We can put the game on pause until I can come back next time?” He asked instead. “I bought the game for you anyway, so it’s not as though I need to take it home and I trust you. So I know you won’t move the pieces behind my back while I’m gone to put you in a favorable position.”

Sebastian hummed in agreement and Ciel reached for the box so he could open it. It didn’t take long before the board was set out and the pieces were placed on the correct spots. Ciel waited patiently for Sebastian to return with a new glass of water so they could start playing. He had been waiting for another game with Sebastian since their first one. The man made him think more than his usual opponents and allowed Ciel to peek inside Sebastian’s mind as they played.

Each move Sebastian made was careful and precise, as he took the time to examine the board before making his decision. In that way, Sebastian gauged not only his pieces and were they stood, but also Ciel’s. He took in everything before settling on a move. He moved when he needed to and moved carefully, sacrificing the pieces he needed to but used them wisely.

He didn’t discard pawns simply because they were pawns, but instead used them as proper stepping-stones to clear a path for his more powerful pieces. The less work they needed to do, the easier they could move as the game progressed. And by the time thirty minutes had passed, Ciel felt as though he had learned more in the few moves that had passed than if they had taken the time to play a full game. 

“It’s a good game so far,” Ciel commented as he stood up and watched as Sebastian pushed the chair in. The lights were turned off and Ciel was ushered to the door where Sebastian grabbed a jacket. He waited until they were out in the hallway and the door was locked tight before speaking again. “Thank you for everything tonight. I’m looking forward to the next time we play and that cooking lesson. When can I come back? If you don’t mind me being so forward.”

Sebastian seemed taken aback by his eagerness and for a moment, Ciel feared as though he had moved too quickly. The older male typed something out on his phone and held it out for Ciel to read and he grinned widely at the words as the phone was put away. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow then, for sure,” he stated and trotted after Sebastian. They moved in silence down the hallway and down the stairwell, Ciel finding the silence comfortable. Once they reached the front door, Ciel gave a small smile and a wave. “Have a good night,” he said and moved for the street. He had to give Sebastian a large enough head start before he could make his way back to DIE tonight. It had been far too long and after enjoying the afternoon with Sebastian, the urge to see Master was strong. 

Sebastian gave him a small nod before he started to walk down the sidewalk, hands shoved into his jacket. Ciel crossed the street and slipped into his car, watching as the older male vanished around the corner and let out a heavy sigh. Time had gone too fast in Ciel’s opinion and he couldn’t wait until tomorrow.

\---------- 

Sebastian paced the office, running a hand through his hair as he tried to sort through his thoughts after everything that had happened today. It had been almost a week since his last fight with Ciel at the shoot and in that time, the younger male had ended up surprising him in more ways than one. He hadn’t expected Ciel to listen to his advice and the day Ciel had first showed up at his door, Sebastian had suspected ulterior motives.

Despite his better judgment, Sebastian had forgiven Ciel that day, if only to ease the guilt that had built up inside him. He still felt bad about letting The Undertaker pleasure him and forcing Ciel to listen to such a thing, but it was too late to take that back. Instead, Sebastian could only accept the apology in hopes that the gnawing guilt would fade away. 

It had helped to an extent, but Sebastian was fully convinced that Ciel had only apologized because he wanted to get back on good terms with Master. He had expected the younger male to show up that night at the set, but the night had passed by without any sign of Ciel. The action had confused Sebastian and by the time they met again at the meeting, Sebastian was wary once more. 

He was trying hard not to get his hopes up that Ciel had turned a new leaf. It had happened more times than Sebastian was willing to admit and too many times had that hope been crushed. But the emotions he felt for Ciel weren’t so easily vanished, no matter how much Sebastian wished for them to leave him alone. 

His heart still clenched at the sight of Ciel and he yearned for the younger male. Hope was a dangerous thing in that it never truly went away. It could fade and flicker to almost near existence but even the dullest of embers could be fanned back to life with the right breeze. 

At that meeting, Sebastian’s hope had been nothing but a smoldering coal but it slowly grew another life as Ciel played chess with him. The younger male had sought him out without any prompting and had willingly sat down with him to play a game of chess. And then the unthinkable had happened when Ciel had discovered the truth about his hair.

There was a reason for his messy looks and his dirty looking hair, Sebastian hadn’t lied about that. Claude was the reason for it, just as Claude was the reason for nearly everything in his life. Sebastian hated his brother for such actions but his hands were tied with the current situation. Instead, Sebastian was waiting for the right moment when he could slip away from the grasp. A moment that was coming soon.

But having Ciel comment about his hair was enough to have Sebastian on edge. He wasn’t sure why the younger male had such an interest in him and Sebastian suspected an underhanded motive. There had to be something there that Ciel had hoped to gain. Why else would the younger male be so adamant about having Sebastian come to work with clean hair?

The next morning, Sebastian had debated long and hard about whether or not to listen to Ciel’s advice. He had nothing to gain and everything to lose from doing so if the younger male suddenly decided to be cruel again. With doubt nagging on Sebastian’s conscience, he had started to grab the hair spray when a soft and frail voice from his past echoed through his mind.

‘Trusting someone is like training an animal. You have to give them some slack so they can prove their loyalty, but never so much that they’ll be able to turn around and bite you when you’re not looking. But you have to take that chance to trust them first or else you’ll remain alone, keeping everyone away at arm’s length.’

Crimson eyes had darted to the broken glasses that rested on the small bathroom counter. “Tanaka,” he murmured sadly and set the hairspray back down. “You were always wise,” he whispered before moving from the bathroom.

It was times like now that Sebastian wished his adopted father was still alive, but time had taken the man from him in his sleep one night without warning. It had been painless, the way most people wished to die, and Sebastian was able to take comfort in that. But it left him alone to face everything and that had been when Sebastian needed the man’s advice the most.

Hoping that he wouldn’t be taken for a fool at the set, Sebastian had made his way to the site and was rewarded with attention by people outside of DIE. But perhaps the biggest surprise had been when Ciel was so enthralled with him, going as far as protecting him against Claude. Or at least defending him against the older male. Sebastian could hold his own against his brother, but in public, the people were always going to side against him.

But Sebastian had never expected that Ciel would even bother to side with him against Claude. Not when the younger male practically worshipped Claude. Sebastian hadn’t believed Ciel when he had acted that way, suspecting a hidden plan and keeping the slowly growing flame of hope carefully protected. No more would Sebastian allow himself to get his hopes diminished by Ciel.

At least that was what Sebastian had thought until Ciel had showed up today. Sebastian hadn’t seen today’s appearance coming at all and it threw him for a loop, especially when the younger male had asked if they could play chess. It had taken several moments for the shock to wear off and by then, Sebastian had already unconsciously invited Ciel in. 

And to make the day even weirder, Ciel had complimented his cooking before they settled down to have a normal conversation. As though they had been friends all along. Sebastian wasn’t sure what to think about it and found that the actions were confusing. He didn’t know what was on Ciel’s mind and each time, he suspected foul play. Because surely Ciel had to be up to something. There was no way the younger male had suddenly turned over a new leaf.

It went against every sense of logic and it terrified Sebastian that he was allowing it to happen. He was letting Ciel get closer, offering him help with chess and cooking, and talking to him as though the past hadn’t occurred. The walls that Sebastian had built nearly a week ago were being torn down quickly and if Sebastian didn’t stop Ciel now, they would crumble at his feet.

“Fuck me,” Sebastian murmured and ran a hand through his hair.

“That can be arranged easily,” The Undertaker answered by the door, green eyes watching Sebastian pace. “What seems to be troubling you, Sebastian? You’ve been pacing since you came to work and I don’t think I’ve seen you this stressed out since Claude forced his rules on you after Tanaka passed away.”

Sebastian tensed at the words and his pacing stopped. “At least then I had something to fall back onto but now I have nothing. Ciel is in both lives and I want him in both. I can’t stop wanting him.”

The Undertaker pushed away from the door and came up to Sebastian, cupping his cheeks. “But he doesn’t want you. You’ll only hurt yourself more if you keep yearning for him when he obviously doesn’t return the feelings.”

“But he’s been acting different,” Sebastian stated. “He came back to apologize earlier this week and has been making an effort to see me. Not the me that everyone else sees, but the one that I hide.”

“That doesn’t mean anything, Sebastian. He might have ulterior motives and is trying to lure you into a false sense of security,” the older male answered. “There’s only so much you can take before you truly break and if he is just playing with you, I’m not sure if you’ll recover this time.”

Sebastian glanced at the ground. “But he seems to be honestly trying. He came by to see me today and we actually had a normal conversation. As normal as it can be with him talking and me writing.” His eyes flickered back up to The Undertaker, a faint hint of hope shining in them. “He said that I’m interesting and he wants to know more about me.”

The Undertaker sighed. “You’re going to give him another chance, aren’t you,” he said, knowing that it wasn’t a question. Sebastian gave Ciel more than enough chances and cared far too much for the younger male but it didn’t mean that anything would change within Ciel. “I promised your father before he died that I would always look over you and help you build this company even more. I feel as though I would be failing that promise if I let you do this Sebastian.”

“One last chance,” Sebastian murmured, knowing that if Ciel broke this chance, there was no going back again. He wouldn’t be able to recover from the sting of betrayal one more time. “After that, no more. We move and never look back.” And he would try to forget Ciel.

But for one more time, Sebastian was going to give Ciel that chance. It was Sebastian’s way of easing the guilt he felt as well and even a week later, Sebastian still felt bad about his actions to the younger male. He never should’ve had Ciel listen to that scene and he never should’ve accepted The Undertaker’s offer. He had been weak and it wasn’t fair to either male.

“I’m sorry for last week,” he said, turning to face the older male. “I shouldn’t have done that to you just to get even at Ciel. You deserve better than that.”

“The brat needed to be taught a lesson and you needed to escape for once in your life,” The Undertaker answered, running fingers through Sebastian’s hair and styling it so the bangs framed his face. “There’s nothing you need to apologize for or feel sorry about. You did nothing wrong by punishing Ciel. Perhaps it was the kick he needed to go in the right direction.”

Sebastian gave a small chuckle but it didn’t stop the guilt still gnawing at his chest. “I feel as though I did the wrong thing. I could’ve gone about it a different way. One that didn’t involve me turning into Claude in the process.”

The Undertaker clicked his tongue. “Then you can apologize to him, seeing as he’s on his way up now.”

“What?” Sebastian asked, his head snapping in the direction of the door. 

“It seems as though he’s decided to make an appearance again. I’m honestly surprised he’s lasted this long, even though I would’ve turned him away if he came back earlier,” The Undertaker stated and scratched his cheek lightly. “I’m still tempted to turn him away, but I have a feeling you wouldn’t let me do that.”

Sebastian shook his head. “You would assume correctly. I need to apologize for what I did last week. Ciel did the right thing by apologizing and now it’s my turn.” Two wrongs didn’t make a right and Sebastian needed to fix what he did. It would ease the guilt and make Sebastian feel better, even if it didn’t take back what he did. Sebastian couldn’t change the past and he was already in deep with his deal with Ciel, but at least this he could fix.

He moved to the desk and sat down heavily, running a hand through his hair again. At this rate, Ciel was going to make his hair turn gray well before he was supposed to and probably toss in a nervous breakdown or heart attack for good measures too. Regardless, the stress couldn’t be good for him, but it wasn’t going to stop Sebastian until he had what he wanted. 

“How far do you think he’ll make it today?” Sebastian asked as he gazed at the door, willing it to open. He missed the touch of the younger male and found that he couldn’t wait until Ciel was back in his office. He enjoyed having Ciel at his apartment, the way they were able to talk and enjoy each other’s company. It was something Sebastian wanted to keep but only Ciel would be able to decide that future, Sebastian couldn’t push the younger male into liking him.

“Not too far,” The Undertaker answered. “I’ve had everyone on high alert since last week. I’ve known that he was coming since he stepped foot in the area.”

Crimson eyes danced with amusement. “You’re a cruel man.” Sebastian’s head cocked as heavy steps sounded outside the door. “But I have no qualms against that at times.”

The Undertaker smirked. “I knew you wouldn’t,” he stated as the doors opened. “Look what the cat dragged in,” he drawled and reached for Ciel’s arm before waving William away.

“I don’t like cats,” Ciel snapped. “Dogs are better.”

A tsk-ing noise left The Undertaker’s mouth. “Points against you. The boss man loves cats.”

Ciel jerked in the grip. “Is he here?” He asked, turning his head and straining to hear the familiar voice.

“I’m here,” Sebastian answered and stood up. He circled around the desk and cupped Ciel’s chin, turning his head back and forth. “But the question is, should you be here?”

“I should be,” Ciel said without pause. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about what I did to Sebastian and hopefully make things right. He’s actually kind of interesting. I found out today he’s a good cook and he even agreed to teach me some.”

Sebastian’s eyebrow rose slightly at the excited tone in Ciel’s voice. He hadn’t expected Ciel to be so honestly enthused about it and had simply brushed the reaction off at the apartment as nothing more than the younger male being polite. “I thought you said he unattractive and there was nothing good about him.”

Ciel shook his head. “I did and it was wrong because he’s the opposite. He’s smart and is a really good chess player, not to mention he has really nice eyes.” Ciel’s shoulders slumped. “And he’s really nice. He’s given me more chances than anyone should and despite everything, still treats me with respect.”

“Careful Ciel, it sounds like you’re falling for him,” Sebastian teased and he ignored his pounding heart at the words. Wouldn’t it be something for Ciel to fall for him despite his looks when he was in the light? Liking him for his personality and what he had to offer Ciel? It was an entertaining thought and one that Sebastian kept closely guarded. Who knew how long Ciel would find him interesting before going back to Claude. “However, since we’re on the subject of apologizing and righting ones wrongs, I too need to apologize for my actions last week. It was unfair of me to have to you stand and listen to something you wanted. I shouldn’t have done it and I’m sorry for that.”

“But it worked,” Ciel said. “You treated me the way I treated Sebastian, and I never would’ve realized that if you hadn’t done it. I would’ve still been treating him the same way. I hated it at the time but it was something I needed.”

Sebastian hummed and traced his finger down Ciel’s cheek, the younger male leaning into the touch. “Then let’s hope that you will continue to keep that lesson close to heart. But regardless, I am sorry for that and it won’t happen again.”

Ciel nodded. “I forgive you,” he murmured.

“Seems as though the brat learned a lesson after all,” The Undertaker spoke, making Ciel jump and Sebastian chuckled lowly at the action. It seemed that Ciel had forgotten the man was still in the room. “I’ll leave you two to your fun.”

Sebastian waved The Undertaker away, not missing the small warning gaze the man threw him. Once the door was closed, Sebastian cupped Ciel’s cheeks and rubbed his thumbs under the covered eyes. “What should I do to you today, hmm?” 

Ciel trembled under his touch. “I want to return the favor,” he answered and Sebastian jumped as a bold hand reached forward to brush against his legs. Fingers traveled higher until at last, they found Sebastian’s groin and cupped him through his pants. “Right here.”

“And how do you plan on doing that?” Sebastian questioned. “With your hands or your mouth?” His fingers brushed against Ciel’s lips, tracing the soft flesh and wanting to kiss the younger male. He restrained from such actions and instead bucked into the teasing hand that had started to rub against his clothed cock.

“I think you’d like to have my mouth here,” Ciel purred, hand drifting higher to trace the waistband of Sebastian’s pants.

Sebastian hummed and tugged Ciel closer so their bodies pressed against each other, erections grinding together. “But then that leaves you without pleasure. And how are we supposed to keep to the other part of our deal if that happens?” He asked. 

Ciel smirked and tilted his head up, making Sebastian imagine that he was looking into blue eyes instead of covered ones. “I’m sure you can think of something, if you haven’t already,” he stated, licking his lips.

A low groan left Sebastian’s mouth at the sight and he slipped his fingers under Ciel’s shirt. “I do have an idea, but it’s going to require you lying naked on the floor with me over you,” he muttered, nipping Ciel’s ear. “Are you ready for that?”

“No sex?” Ciel asked and Sebastian gave a negative answer. At the words, Ciel relaxed more before nodding. “Then I’ll take you up on your offer.”

“This has to come off first,” Sebastian stated, tugging Ciel’s shirt over his head. It was tossed to the side and Sebastian gripped Ciel’s hand, slowly lowering him to the ground. He followed the younger male down and latched his mouth onto a dusky nipple, sucking and nipping. The action made Ciel arch into the touch as Sebastian’s hand trailed down Ciel’s stomach.

Fingers brushed over the waistband of Ciel’s pants, teasing the skin there and Sebastian delighted in the small noises that left Ciel’s mouth. He had missed them in the past few days and he switched to the neglected nipple as his fingers dipped below the pants.

Sebastian chuckled low in his throat as he snapped the elastic on the boxers, making Ciel cry out in surprise but the small bit of pain did little to deter the younger male. If anything it made Ciel buck against him even more and Sebastian scratched lightly against pale skin with his nails.

Ciel moaned at the feeling and Sebastian pulled his hands away so he could pull Ciel’s pants down, revealing tented boxers. He traced over the bulge, drawing a low hiss from Ciel before lowering his head to suck on the covered cock. Fingers laced through his hair at the simple touch and Ciel tossed his head back, giving Sebastian a perfect view of his arched neck. It made Sebastian want to suck and bite up and down the pale column, leaving marks to show everyone that Ciel was his. But he restrained the urge, knowing that it would only cause trouble in the long run.

“You,” Ciel panted, his fingers tightening.

“Me,” Sebastian answered, slowly easing down the boxers bit by bit. He made sure the fabric rubbed over Ciel’s cock, teasing him further and making it harder for the younger male to speak.

Ciel’s hips bucked up and he clawed at the ground. “What about you?” He asked, tossing his head as the boxers were removed.

“You still wish to pleasure me?” Sebastian questioned as he wrapped his fingers around the hard cock. “Even though you’re in the middle of your own pleasure right now?”

“Yes,” Ciel gasped and Sebastian hissed as the younger male tugged on his hair, pulling him up. “I’ll get even more pleasure if I can taste you and make you come too.”

A low purr left Sebastian’s mouth at the words and he slowly pulled back. “If that is your wish, then I suppose I can give you what you want.” His shirt was removed and tossed to the side before his pants and boxers joined the mess of clothes. “Remember that you can always change your mind.” He stated as he crawled over Ciel’s body.

Smirking, Ciel held out his hand and Sebastian reached for it, guiding curious fingers to his cock. “Are you scared that I’ll make you come before me?” He asked.

Sebastian shivered at the light touch. “I welcome your attempts,” he answered and traced Ciel’s lips. “But I thought you wanted to use this to make me come.”

“I do,” Ciel stated and gave a teasing pass with his hands. “But you’re way down there and my mouth is way up here. You need to find a way to fix that so I can put my mouth to better use than just talking.”

“Sassy,” Sebastian purred and slid up Ciel’s chest before turning around so he was facing Ciel’s cock. “Why don’t you show me what that mouth of yours can do,” he said, hot breath fanning over the hard cock standing tall before him.

It didn’t take Ciel long to realize what Sebastian was suggesting and a teasing tongue lapped at the tip of Sebastian’s cock, making him shiver. “Kinky,” Ciel murmured and hands trailed up Sebastian’s legs so the younger male could get an image in his mind. “But then again, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

Sebastian snorted slightly but didn’t bother to comment as he swiped at the swollen head of Ciel’s cock with his tongue. The action cut off any other words Ciel was going to say and Sebastian traced a wet path from base to tip, pleased with the way Ciel’s legs trembled next to his head. He was confident that he would be able to hold out longer than Ciel, for not only was his name was on the line but also his pride at being able to hold his own.

His hips jerked at the sudden feeling of Ciel’s mouth circling around the head of cock and Sebastian gasped lightly at the touch. It was different from when The Undertaker had last taken care of him. Ciel was still inexperienced compared to the man and it showed in his touches. But the knowledge that it was actually Ciel’s mouth around his cock had pleasure and lust race through his veins.

Not to be outdone, Sebastian lowered his head and slowly took in the throbbing cock before him. He groaned lowly at the taste on his tongue and hollowed out his cheeks as he started to bob his head. It was something Sebastian had never allowed himself to think about, knowing that he would never get a chance to do this to Ciel. But now he was being allowed to indulge in a fantasy of his own creation.

It left him aroused at the thoughts and Sebastian pulled back, his teeth lightly scraping the tip of Ciel’s cock. The action made Ciel jerk and buck, cock rubbing against Sebastian’s cheek. Sebastian hummed lowly and wiped away the wetness on his cheek before returning his attention to the treat before him.

He moaned as Ciel took him in deeper and Sebastian rolled his hips down, wanting to feel more of that wet heat around his cock. Nails bit into his skin in retaliation and Sebastian struggled to still his hips. They trembled and Ciel’s hands ran over his legs, trying to ease him while a tongue pushed into the slit. 

“Fuck,” Sebastian groaned lowly and took Ciel’s cock in his mouth again. If he wasn’t careful, he would end up getting carried away and come before Ciel. He couldn’t let that happen, not with everything on the line right now. His hand trailed up to brush over the base of Ciel’s cock before trailing down to the tightly drawn sac and traced over them lightly. 

A small yelp left Ciel’s mouth, the vibrations traveling down Sebastian’s cock and making him shudder. For not having much experience, Ciel was quickly making him come undone and Sebastian lowered his head once more as his fingers continued to tease Ciel. Soft cries and moans left the younger male, letting Sebastian know that Ciel was close to coming.

His cock was neglected as Ciel panted and tried to keep his orgasm at bay, nails digging into his skin. The pain only pushed Sebastian forward more and he let Ciel buck his hips up into his mouth. Relaxing his throat and jaw, Sebastian pressed his tongue against Ciel’s length and hollowed out his cheeks to provide more pleasure.

“Ma—Master,” Ciel moaned and bucked up harshly. Sebastian gagged slightly before swallowing around the hard length. “Oh hell. So go—good.”

Sebastian’s lips curled into a smile around the cock and his fingers slipped further down to rub at the perineum. He pulled his head back as Ciel stiffened under him before the younger male came with a loud cry. Unintelligible words fell from Ciel’s lips as Sebastian swallowed everything that was offered to him, letting Ciel ride out his orgasm.

Ciel’s hips were still bucking weakly as Sebastian pulled away and let the softened cock slip from his mouth. He swiped at the sensitive head, cleaning off the remaining mess before looking over his shoulder at Ciel who was now lying boneless underneath him. “Another failed attempt, Ciel,” he said and went to roll away from the younger male but was stopped by a weak hand on his leg.

“You still need to come,” Ciel said, panting slightly.

Sebastian shook his head. “You don’t have to.”

Ciel grunted and his breath fanned over the cock before him. “But I want to,” he answered before taking it in his mouth.

Sebastian’s head lowered as warmth surrounded his length again and a tongue pressed against the hard flesh. He was already close and now that Ciel had reached his orgasm, there was nothing holding him back any longer. His hips bucked lightly, not enough to choke Ciel but enough to give Sebastian more pleasure in the process. 

He ignored the ache in his knees from kneeling on the thin carpet and instead let himself go. Having Ciel’s mouth around him was more than Sebastian had ever hoped for and his eyes fell shut as he let himself feel everything. The hot fingers that gripped his legs, the curious tongue that pressed against him, and the teasing mouth that was providing him so much pleasure.

“Ciel,” he moaned softly and jerked as Ciel’s fingers trailed up his body, following a familiar path that Sebastian had taken earlier on the younger male. But instead of rubbing against the spot Sebastian had earlier, Ciel skipped over it, making Sebastian whine in frustration. Unsure fingers continued to trail up and all sense of frustration flew from Sebastian’s mind as a dry finger nudged at his entrance.

It paused for the briefest of moments and when no harsh words fell from Sebastian’s mouth, it pushed its way past the tight muscles. Sebastian’s eyes rolled back into his head at the feeling as his head dropped to rest on Ciel’s thigh and he dug his nails into pale legs. “Ciel,” he panted, trying to warn the younger male that he was about to come but found that the words couldn’t come fast enough. 

His body tensed before hips jerked as his orgasm raced through his veins. Teeth sunk into the inside of Ciel’s thigh, muffling Sebastian’s cry as pleasure washed over his body. Blood coated his tongue and Sebastian’s eyes fluttered as the last of his orgasm flowed moved through his body, leaving him feeling weak and sated. 

Sebastian pulled away from Ciel and winced at the mark he left on Ciel’s leg. He lapped at the bite mark, drawing a small hiss from the younger male before deciding it would be better treated with some hot water and bacitracin instead of his tongue. Rolling away, Sebastian turned to look at Ciel and groaned lowly at the sight of his cum on Ciel’s face.

“Sorry,” Sebastian murmured and slipped up Ciel’s body so he could lap at the cooling cum. It seemed as though Ciel had tried to swallow everything but had only been able to take so much. It was still an arousing sight and a low burn of arousal ran lazily through Sebastian’s body as he finished cleaning up Ciel. “I tried to warn you but wasn’t quick enough.”

Ciel licked at his lips before wiping at them with his hand. “It wasn’t bad, but next time I’ll make sure not to spill,” he stated, lips quirking into a smirk. “But I didn’t peg you as a biter.”

Sebastian winced and stood up, pausing to grab his boxers. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to bite that hard, nor did I mean to bite in the first place. I forgot myself for a moment.”

“I must have been pretty good then,” Ciel said and his smirk grew. “To make you lose control like that.”

A low chuckle left Sebastian’s mouth as he returned with the needed items and he settled down next to Ciel. “You were very good,” he answered, cleaning the mark. “Make sure you keep this clean so it doesn’t become infected. I’d rather you didn’t get sick.”

Ciel waved a hand. “I’ll be fine. I think I like the idea of sporting a mark that you put on me.”

Sebastian shivered at the words and finished putting a Band-Aid over the mark. “But anymore will draw unwanted attention and we can’t have people finding out about our secret, now can we?” He pressed a light kiss to the area before sitting back up. “Let’s get you dressed and back home before you pass out. Don’t want you getting into an accident.”

“Not sleepy,” Ciel slurred as the door open, admitting The Undertaker.

The man grimaced and turned away. “I did not want to see that,” he stated, waving a hand at Ciel’s naked body. “I’m forever scarred now.”

Sebastian clicked his tongue at The Undertaker. “Be nice,” he cooed before turning his attention back to Ciel. He pulled the younger male up so he was sitting properly and looked at him. “Where did you park, Ciel?”

“At Sebastian’s apartment,” Ciel answered, slumping against Sebastian. “He can cook really well, did you know that?”

A small chuckle left Sebastian’s mouth as he ran a hand through dark locks. “You did mention that earlier. But sleep for now, we’ll take you home.” He turned to look at The Undertaker as Ciel’s head jerked, trying to stay awake but the late hour and strong orgasm was quickly pulling him into the dream world. “Take him back to the apartment and let him sleep there. I’d rather him not drive home like this.”

“You tempt fate,” The Undertaker stated as he crossed the room to grab Sebastian’s keys from the desk. “Dress him and I’ll take him there.”

Sebastian nodded and fixed the older male with a stern glare. “No funny business, Undertaker,” he said as he reached for the discarded boxers. They were slipped up Ciel’s legs, the younger male’s head lolling against his shoulder. Ciel was already lost to sleep but Sebastian still guarded his words carefully just in case Ciel happened to hear anything. “Take him back and put him to bed, that’s it.”

The Undertaker held up his hands. “I won’t lay a finger on him or tell him anything. My mouth will stay shut and I will do as my master commands,” he answered, giving a small bow. “Unlike him, I don’t look to harm you with my actions or words.”

“Your fears have been heard and recognized,” Sebastian stated. “And I thank you for the concern. But this is something I need to see through for myself. No matter how it turns out.” 

The older male nodded at him, accepting the words before turning and leaving the room so he could prepare a car. Once gone, Sebastian lowered his head and pressed his lips to Ciel’s temple, lingering there longer than he should. “Don’t push me away this time, Ciel,” he murmured, holding the younger male tight to his body and hoping that his plea wouldn’t go unheard.


	7. Chapter 7

7.

Ciel stared at the shelves before him, the bags mocking him before he looked back at the list in his hand. Sebastian’s neat handwriting flowed across the page, telling him exactly what he needed but for the life of him, Ciel couldn’t find the proper brand of flour that Sebastian wanted. A part of him wished that Sebastian was here, as the older male knew what they needed for the first cooking lesson, but Ciel wasn’t about to let Sebastian step out of the apartment today.

The older male had looked dead on his feet when he answered the door and his shoulders were slumped with fatigue. After that, Ciel had pushed Sebastian back into the apartment, demanding that Sebastian get some sleep before he passed out. Sebastian had argued weakly, claiming that he would be fine, but Ciel had held firm.

In the end, Ciel had snatched the paper from Sebastian’s hand and claimed that he would do the shopping while Sebastian got some much needed sleep. They could cook again at another time when Sebastian didn’t look as though he would pass out any minute. Reluctantly, Sebastian had agreed, retreating into his bedroom while Ciel scanned over the list.

It hadn’t looked too hard and Ciel had set out after that, Sebastian’s keys a comfortable weight in his pocket as he made his way to the grocery store. Where he found himself overwhelmed almost the moment he stepped into the building. He had no idea where anything was as he rarely had any need to enter the grocery store to begin with. They had someone else for that.

For several minutes, Ciel simply wandered up and down the aisles, taking everything in and trying to familiarize himself with everything. After making a full trip through the store, Ciel had returned to the front to grab a cart and had started his mission. But that mission would’ve been made vastly easier if the cart didn’t have a bad wheel and Sebastian hadn’t been so specific about what he wanted.

Ciel had been in the store for over an hour now and only had five things out of a list of thirty items that Sebastian had listed. Pride kept him from asking for help and he couldn’t just call the older male as Sebastian was sleeping. It was slightly annoying but Ciel was determined to make it through this. He could do something as simple as shop for food.

He hoped.

Glancing down at the list, Ciel re-read the words and looked at the bags of flour again. His eyes skimmed over the labels and finally settled on a small brown bag that sat innocently right in front of him. Ciel glared at the flour before snatching it off the shelf and tossing it into the cart. He continued down the aisle, pushing at the finicky cart and grumbling under his breath the whole way.

Next time, Sebastian was coming with him or the older male could just go on his own. Either way, Ciel wouldn’t be doing this alone again and he let out a long sigh as he looked at the list. Irritation filled his body at the words and he slumped against the cart. “Why do you make things so confusing Sebastian?” He whined and looked at the sugar.

“You know Mr. Sebastian?” A cheerful voice said behind him.

Ciel turned his head to look at the person who was talking to him and found a blond haired employee smiling widely at him. “I know him,” Ciel answered cautiously, running his eyes over the other male. Bright eyes gazed back at him and Ciel found that the male reminded him of Elizabeth in her cheerful personality. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught your name.”

A gloved hand was held out. “My name is Finny. I work here and I see Mr. Sebastian all the time.”

“I see,” Ciel murmured, his stomach churning slightly with a feeling he couldn’t place. “Well, it was nice to meet you but I should get going. I have to finish picking up some things for him.”

Finny’s eyes lit up and he reached for the list, plucking it from Ciel’s grip. “I can help you with that if you want. I usually do the shopping for Mr. Sebastian when he can’t come in himself.”

Blue eyes narrowed. “But I have his key,” Ciel stated, pulling out the keys and dangling them in front of Finny. 

“Oh, me too!” Finny said happily, bringing out a familiar set of keys. “He pays me to come by weekly so I can pick up his list, get what he needs, and then bring it back to his apartment. I even put everything up for him too. And if I’m lucky, he has a small sweet for me and they’re the best.”

“I know,” Ciel answered coolly, feeling as though he needed to tell Finny to stay away from Sebastian. He didn’t like that this other male knew more about Sebastian than him and was always seeing the older male. But if there was one thing Ciel had over Finny, it was age and he doubted that Sebastian would find anything interesting from this teenager. “How old are you?” He blurted out.

Finny blinked at the question, having not expected it before shrugging. “A year younger than Mr. Sebastian. Why?”

Dread started to creep into Ciel’s body at the words. He had thought that Finny was younger than him, judging by the way he acted but in reality, Ciel was younger than Finny. Not only that, but Finny seemed to have more in common with Sebastian than him and Ciel’s fingers tightened on the cart. “I…I should get going,” he said, feeling sick all of a sudden.

“Let me help you,” Finny said quickly, trotting after him. “I know this store like the back of my hand and I haven’t seen Mr. Sebastian in a while. He’s usually gone when I drop off his groceries in the evening.”

Ciel opened his mouth to protest but Finny had already snatched the cart from his hand and was navigating it perfectly around the corner to the next aisle. Shoulders slumping, Ciel had no choice but to follow and he shoved his hands into his pockets, fingers curling around the keys that rested there.

Their weight was a steady comfort in his grip and Ciel sighed softly. There was nothing to worry about. Nothing at all. It wasn’t Finny that Sebastian was teaching how to cook or play chess with. That right was reserved for Ciel and Ciel alone. Finny was nobody, just someone who made Sebastian’s life easier when he was too tired or busy to make it to the store.

But even those thoughts didn’t take away the growing edge that settled in Ciel’s stomach as he watched Finny quickly find everything and place it in the cart. The feeling coiled and squirmed in his body, growing with each moment Ciel spent in Finny’s presence. What exactly was the older male to Sebastian? A friend, a helper…a lover?

Ciel faltered and felt his body grow cold at the thought. It was wholly possible that Finny did more than just deliver groceries to Sebastian. What if Sebastian paid Finny for the favor with pleasure instead of money? No. Ciel quickly shook his head, dispelling the thoughts. He was thinking irrationally now.

Sebastian wasn’t the type of person who would do something like that. If anything, Claude would make a deal like that and use Finny as a side fling whenever the urge rose. But Sebastian wasn’t like that. Sebastian was the opposite of Claude in everyway, something that Ciel found he enjoyed. 

There was nothing for Ciel to fear from Finny and the more Ciel thought about it, the more he wondered why he was bothered by Finny in the first place. It wasn’t as though Sebastian was Ciel’s boyfriend and they were dating. Was he simply jealous because Finny knew more about Sebastian than him? Or that Sebastian had someone in his life that he could lean on for help when Ciel wanted to be that person?

But then again, Finny had every right to do those things, to be that person. Finny hadn’t hurt Sebastian in the past and ignored him because of trivial reasons. Sobering, Ciel looked down at the floor as he walked. Finny was a better person than him and deserved the friendship he had with Sebastian. Ciel didn’t deserve any of that yet. A few days spent with Sebastian didn’t make up for the things that he did.

Ever since Ciel had woken up in Sebastian’s bedroom after losing to Master a couple days ago, Ciel had been spending every afternoon with the older male. Ciel wasn’t sure how he had ended back at Sebastian’s apartment after that pleasurable session with Master, but he hadn’t complained. He had been in no state to drive home that night and had ended up spending the whole night there, waking up to find Sebastian asleep on the couch. 

A bag of donuts was waiting for him on the table when Ciel made his way into the living room and he would’ve stayed longer to thank Sebastian, if the pressing urge to get home before his parents woke hadn’t been so strong. He didn’t see Sebastian for the rest of the morning and had returned late afternoon to continue his chess game with Sebastian.

They hadn’t talked about the previous night and Sebastian didn’t bother to ask any questions, choosing instead to focus on the game until it was time for them to part. After that, they had settled into a comfortable pattern, with Ciel coming by Sebastian’s apartment around three or four in the afternoon and just enjoying the man’s company until he had to leave.

It worked out perfectly for Ciel as their late get-togethers allowed him to catch up on sleep after a session with Master. Today had been the exception as Sebastian had promised they would cook today and that Ciel could come earlier if he wanted. But Ciel had been too early, as he had been overzealous in his desire to cook with Sebastian.

He knew Sebastian felt bad about breaking his promise to cook today; Ciel had seen it crimson eyes. But a large part of Ciel hadn’t wanted to see Sebastian looking so tired and missing sleep, just because Ciel wanted to cook. Sebastian was the one who was doing the favor for him, not the other way around. It was why Ciel hadn’t been annoyed at telling Sebastian to sleep while he handled the shopping.

Because in the end, Ciel wanted Sebastian to be happy and content. Something that wouldn’t happen if he was exhausted. And in a way, Ciel found that he liked doing things for Sebastian. The only thing that would make him happier was if he was doing things with Sebastian.

The thought made Ciel come to a stop in the middle of the aisle, Finny still chatting ahead of him without a care in the world. Where had those thoughts come from? It wasn’t as though they were bad thoughts, but they were unexpected. A few short weeks ago, Ciel never would’ve thought such things but now, they were constantly filling his mind. 

And it made Ciel feel warm and happy because of it.

“All done!” Finny sang in front of him, forcefully pulling Ciel from his thoughts. “Let’s go check out and get these to Mr. Sebastian. I can’t wait to see him again.”

Ciel smiled slightly. “Me too,” he admitted quietly as he trailed behind Finny. 

The check out line was short and the woman behind the register rang them up quickly. Ciel paid as Finny bagged the food and once everything was in a bag, they moved left the store. Ciel was silent as they walked back to the apartment while Finny kept talking happily about anything that popped in his mind. It kept Ciel from saying anything as they approached the apartment building and the curling feeling in the pit of his stomach found its way back again.

By the time they were standing in front of Sebastian’s door, Ciel felt almost nauseas with the feeling and he glanced at Finny as the older male dug for the keys, still talking. “Sebastian’s sleeping,” Ciel said quickly, cutting Finny off as the door was unlocked. “We should be quiet,” he finished.

“Okay,” Finny chirped and juggled the grocery bags so he could open the door. Ciel brushed past him as soon as the door was open and made his way to the kitchen while Finny followed at a more leisurely pace. “Hey, this is new,” he exclaimed, stopping next to the chess set.

“I gave it to him,” Ciel answered as he set the bags on the counter. He started to pull things out before realizing that he didn’t know where anything went and he growled lowly in frustration. He felt helpless when compared to Finny and the annoyance only mounted in his body. He wanted to help Sebastian and make things easier but he couldn’t even do that right now.

Finny swept into the kitchen and Ciel watched as the older male started to put everything away in the proper spots, never missing a beat. It didn’t take long before everything was cleaned up and the cloth bags were stored away for next time, leaving Ciel to mutter a quiet ‘thanks’ before heading back out to the living room.

“I always wanted to learn how to play chess,” Finny stated as he gazed at the chessboard. He picked up a piece and examined it. “Do you know how to play?”

Ciel nodded. “I do,” he answered and moved to Finny’s side, snatching the piece from his hand. “But that’s Sebastian’s game and I don’t think he would like you touching his things,” he hissed lowly. He didn’t like that Finny was so casually touching something that he and Sebastian shared.

Confusion flickered through Finny’s eyes, having not expected the sudden action. “I wasn’t going to steal it,” he said, carefully taking the piece from Ciel’s hand and placing it back on board. “I didn’t know that Mr. Sebastian liked chess but I wouldn’t mind learning so I could play with him. He’s always so lonely.”

“No,” Ciel croaked out, the feeling in his stomach curling again and he felt sick. He didn’t need Finny to have something else in common with Sebastian. “Get out, now!”

“What?” Finny asked, his eyebrows furrowing. 

Ciel took a step forward. “You heard me. Get. Out.” He shoved his arms forward, his hands connecting with Finny’s chest and making the older male stumble backwards. He fell against the small end table and it tipped over, sending the lamp that rested on the surface crashing to the ground in the process. The sound was loud in the silence of the apartment and Ciel held his breath as he turned to look in the direction of the bedroom door.

It was still closed for now but no doubt, Sebastian had heard the crash and was awake now. Any moment now, he would come out and find the mess and Ciel would have to tell him that it was his fault. That he had lashed out in anger for some reason he couldn’t explain. He shivered and looked at Finny before the door opened, drawing his attention back to the room.

Crimson eyes were alert despite Sebastian having just been asleep and Ciel watched as they darted around the living room, taking everything in before finally settling on them. No words came out and instead of fury; confusion was present on Sebastian’s face as he walked forward so he could see the damage.

Pain spread through Ciel as Sebastian approached Finny first, running his hands carefully over the older male to check for any injuries and making sure that he was okay. The action made Ciel tremble where he stood as unknown emotions raced through his body. What were these feelings? Surely there weren’t jealous and hurt that Sebastian was looking at someone else besides him.

“Se-Sebastian?” He called out quietly, wanting Sebastian to notice him. He froze when Sebastian turned around to look at him and he stumbled over the words as deep red eyes seemed to pin him to the spot and in their gaze, Ciel felt as though he was a child again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to push him like that but he was touching our game and he wanted to learn so he could play chess with you. But that’s our game, not his.”

Sebastian shook his head slightly and guided Finny to the door. Ciel watched as Sebastian started to gesture with his hands and Finny answered back with similar motions. Ciel swallowed hard and he found that he was rooted to the spot, unable to move as he watched the actions before him. They were using sign language. They could talk fluently with each other without Sebastian having to write everything down.

After their conversation ended, Finny slipped out the door with a small wave to Sebastian before the door closed and Ciel found himself alone in the apartment with Sebastian. The older male was silent as he walked towards him and Ciel felt as though he would break down into tears at any minute under the intense look that Sebastian was giving him.

He tensed as Sebastian’s arm rose and he waited for the harsh smack against his cheek that he deserved. But the blow never came and instead, he was pulled into a tight embrace that left Ciel confused as he stared up at the ceiling, breathing in Sebastian’s scent. His hands came up to clutch at Sebastian’s shirt and he trembled lightly in the grip.

“Do you hate me again?” He whispered, terrified to find out the answer. He didn’t want Sebastian to hate him again, didn’t want the older male to let him go. 

Sebastian shook his head and pulled away, reaching for the pad of paper next to the chess set. He wrote his answer down quickly and passed it off to Ciel who took it with slightly shaky hands. 

‘I don’t hate you. You simply lost your temper and knocked over a lamp. There’s no damage there. I was more concerned that someone broke in and had tried to attack you. I’m glad that that wasn’t the case but I am curious as to what happened between you two, let alone how you two meet.’

Ciel nodded and passed back the paper before moving to the couch. He wanted to sit down after everything and he could feel his legs trembling as the adrenaline left him. “I met him at the grocery store. He overheard me cursing your evil list and he offered to help me. He said that he helps you with the groceries and that you pay him to bring them back here when you don’t have time to do it yourself.”

Sebastian hummed and settled next to Ciel. Ciel watched the older male write, slowly relaxing into the cushions and feeling all the more relaxed now that Finny was out of the picture. He reached for the paper when Sebastian was done writing and read over the words. 

‘He does. I met Finny a few years back when he first started working at the store. His brother had just returned from the war after being honorably discharged. He lost his hearing in an explosion and was going to a school to learn sign language. Money was a little tight for them so Finny took up the extra job of stocking the shelves during the night shift and I offered to provide a little extra income, along with some practice for sign language. He’s a good friend.’

Ciel flushed, feeling embarrassed about his actions now that he knew the truth. “So he’s not your boyfriend or anything?” He asked, wanting to clear that out of the way. He relaxed even more as Sebastian laughed and shook his head no. “I just thought, since he had your keys and everything.”

Still snickering, Sebastian wrote out his answer and passed it off to Ciel. ‘There is no lover in my life, Ciel. He’s simply a good friend that comes by to see me when he can and help when I need it. You have nothing to be jealous over in regards to him.’

Ciel bristled at the words and he smacked Sebastian’s leg with the pad of paper. “I am not jealous!” He exclaimed and quickly adverted his eyes, the words a lie on his tongue. Jealous was exactly what he had been when he had heard that Finny knew Sebastian well and shared many similar things. “Okay, maybe a little,” he muttered, correcting himself.

Sebastian chuckled lowly and reached forward, brushing his finger down Ciel’s cheek. The action made him jump as the touch was unexpected but welcomed regardless. It felt good and Ciel leaned into the touch, silently asking for more. But Sebastian’s hand pulled away so he could write once more and Ciel wondered how long it would take to learn sign language so he could talk with Sebastian.

‘You have nothing to be jealous about, Ciel. Finny may be a good friend, but you are Ciel. We’ll always have our chess games and cooking lessons to share. No one else can take that away.’

The words made Ciel’s shoulders slump in relief and he felt all his energy and adrenaline drain away. There was nothing to worry about, Sebastian had said it himself and Ciel couldn’t help but shake his head at himself. He couldn’t believe that he had acted that way and he chuckled at how everything had turned out.

“I’m tired,” he admitted, feeling drained now that everything was said and done. “And I woke you up when you were supposed to be getting some sleep.”

The pencil scratched across the paper as Sebastian wrote before it was passed back to Ciel. ‘You’re welcome to stay here to take your nap. I would prefer that you didn’t drive home when you’re feeling drowsy. And when you wake up, we can go ahead and start the cooking lesson promised to you. I’ll call into work today and tell them that I won’t be there. They can handle a day without me.”

Ciel blinked at the words, not expecting them and he felt a smile spreading across his face. “You mean it?” He asked, searching Sebastian’s face for any hint of a lie. Crimson eyes gazed back at him honestly and Ciel nodded. “I like that idea. I like it very much. And maybe you can start teaching me sign language?” He asked, feeling shy.

This time it was Sebastian’s turn to look surprised at the words and something akin to hope filled the man’s eyes before Sebastian nodded. The action made Ciel relax and he couldn’t help but smile at Sebastian. The hesitation and caution that was so present when they first started meeting was slowly fading away and Ciel felt that they were making progress.

No doubt Sebastian still didn’t trust him as much Ciel would’ve liked but that trust was growing with each day and Ciel could see the change in Sebastian as the days passed. The older male looked happier and content when they relaxed in his apartment and Ciel felt that he was the only one who knew the true Sebastian.

It was a thought Ciel enjoyed and he kept that knowledge close to him. The thought that he should tell Claude about Sebastian’s true nature hadn’t once crossed Ciel’s mind and more than anything, Ciel wanted to keep the truth from Claude. He had a feeling that Claude had a small idea about Sebastian’s personality that he kept hidden but that was another hurdle Ciel would have to cross later. For now, Ciel was content in letting Claude think what he wanted about Sebastian.

Waving his hand, Ciel shooed Sebastian off the couch. “Go back and get some sleep. I can nap out here until our cooking lesson.” The couch wasn’t anywhere near as comfortable as Sebastian’s bed, but Ciel wasn’t sure how Sebastian would feel about sharing a bed with him. And Ciel wasn’t about to tell Sebastian to take the couch when the older male needed the sleep more than him.

Sebastian chuckled lowly and passed the paper over to Ciel who took it hesitantly. He didn’t like the look in Sebastian’s eyes and he gazed down at the paper, feeling his ears burn slightly. ‘My bed is large enough to share if you would prefer a decent nap, which you won’t get on the couch. And you can rest assure that I won’t do anything to you in your sleep, no matter how endearing you may look when you’re asleep.’

Ciel huffed and crossed his arms, looking annoyed but secretly happy that Sebastian thought he looked attractive. “Then you better have some clothes for me to sleep in because I’m not sleeping in my jean.” He paused and then quickly added. “Or naked for that matter.”

The words made Sebastian laugh and he nodded as he stood up before moving to the bedroom. Ciel trailed after him and covered a yawn as he walked into the room. It was dark but familiar thanks to the impromptu sleepover last week and Ciel settled on the bed while Sebastian pulled out some shorts and a shirt.

They were tossed at him and Sebastian turned around to give Ciel privacy while he changed. Making sure that Sebastian wasn’t looking, even though they were both guys, Ciel quickly changed into the offered clothes and folded his once he was done. The clothes smelled like Sebastian and Ciel breathed in the scent before the older male could turn around to see him smelling his clothes.

“Cinnamon,” he murmured as he settled on the bed. Sebastian turned around and gave him an amused look but didn’t say anything as he moved towards the bed. “Thank you,” Ciel said louder as he crawled under the covers. The bed dipped as Sebastian settled next to him, leaving plenty of space between them and Ciel felt a flicker of disappointment at the action.

Silence settled in the room as Sebastian rolled onto his side, facing the wall and Ciel watched as the man’s body slowly relaxed until Sebastian’s breathing evened out. Sighing softly, Ciel rolled onto his stomach and buried his face into the pillow that had been offered for him. It smelled like Sebastian and the scent had Ciel relaxing into the soft mattress. The man’s scent was all around him, enveloping him in a warm embrace that made Ciel feel protected and safe, and within minutes, he was asleep.

\-------

“A, B, C, D…E?” Ciel muttered and cocked his head before turning to look at the book that rested on the couch next to him. He groaned and fixed his hand to give the proper letter before trying again. His movements were slow and careful compared to the quick movements that Ciel had seen Sebastian and Finny using earlier in the day.

It was a slow process of learning them, but Ciel was determined to memorize the alphabet today. Or at least half of it before he needed to leave. Sebastian had provided a simple book that had covered the alphabet with pictures that would help him memorize the way the hand was supposed to go. But after only an hour of studying, Ciel had only made in to the letter H before messing up.

“Frustrating,” he groaned and turned to look at Sebastian who was in the kitchen, thumbing through a book to find a good recipe for them to cook together. They had only been up for a little over an hour, Sebastian’s phone waking them up from a deep sleep that Ciel had been reluctant to leave. He had slept like a baby and couldn’t remember the last time he had slept so well.

A piece of paper dangled in front of him and Ciel jumped slightly before accepting it from Sebastian. ‘You don’t have to learn the language, Ciel. I’m fine with writing everything out. I don’t want you to be frustrated over this.’

Ciel shook his head. “No. I want to learn. I want to have a conversation with you the way you and Finny talked.”

Sebastian smiled slightly and pulled the book from Ciel’s hands, setting it to the side. He pointed towards the kitchen before tugging Ciel to his feet and gestured with his hands.

Ciel watched him curiously as Sebastian made a gesture of breaking something with his fingers and Ciel cocked his head slightly. “Break?” He asked and was rewarded with a nod before Sebastian pointed at the clock. “Clock. No. Umm…time. Break time!” Ciel finished excitedly, understanding now what Sebastian was trying to tell him.

He laughed to himself, feeling light as he walked into the kitchen with Sebastian. It wasn’t exactly sign language and it was more like charades but at least he was able to understand Sebastian to a point and that made Ciel feel accomplished. It would be their own language, something else that was just between them; just like the chess games.

“So what are we making today?” He asked. “Something sweet like that cake or maybe the roast. They were both really good.”

The recipe book was placed in front of Ciel along with a note that Ciel quickly picked up to read. ‘Against my better judgment, we’ll be making crepes today. I figured you would like something like that. Although it is honestly better to start with something easier and work your way up, but I think it’s also best to start with something you like so you’ll enjoy the process as well.’

Ciel huffed. “I’m not inept at cooking you know. I can make something’s, like pasta and pizza.” Sebastian gave him a look. “From the freezer,” Ciel added on, crossing his arms and looking slightly cross.

Sebastian patted his head and waved him over where bowls of sugar and other ingredients rested on the counter. He pointed at the directions and Ciel glanced at them, noting that they were written in Sebastian’s neat handwriting. It made Ciel wonder if Sebastian wrote everything out just for him or if the recipe was something Sebastian had taught himself.

Figuring he would ask later, Ciel picked up the small measuring cups and looked at the bag of sugar that sat innocently before him. He went to measure out the proper amount but was stopped by Sebastian’s hand on his wrist. The older male shook his head at him and pointed to the ingredient that was listed first.

“But I need sugar too,” Ciel protested and grumbled as Sebastian shook his head again. Sebastian’s finger moved down the page, tapped the first direction and Ciel leaned over to read it. “Add flour, sugar, mix. Add egg while stirring and then melted butter while stirring. Gradually add milk. Make sure to do it in this order so the batter doesn’t separate while sitting. Oh.” He reached for the flour and started to measure it out before dumping it into the shifter.

A cloud of white poofed into the air and Ciel coughed as it settled back down around the bowl and on the counter. It looked as though it was snow and Ciel ran his finger through it, quickly writing out his name. Next to him, Sebastian shook his head and left to grab something to clean up the mess before deciding that it would probably be better to wait until everything was said and done. No doubt there would be more to clean up by the time the lesson was over.

Ciel dusted off his hands and looked over at the next step. “Crack eggs into bowl, and beat I can do that,” he said, although at this point, he wasn’t sure who he was reassuring; himself or Sebastian. He grabbed the eggs and cracked them into the bowl before stirring them with a spoon.

The spoon was quickly pulled from Ciel’s hand and was replaced with a whisk. Ciel gave a sheepish smile but continued to stir the eggs as though he had done nothing wrong. He jumped though when a warm body pressed against his back and a hand cupped his. Sebastian guided the motions and Ciel watched as their hands made short, fast circles; beating the eggs until they were mixed.

“You’re really good at this,” Ciel breathed, basking in the warmth that Sebastian had to offer. Now he understood why Sebastian had said that it would be best to start with a simple recipe instead of a harder one. Ciel didn’t know the first thing about cooking and it wasn’t just about following the recipe either. There were techniques that Ciel didn’t even know about that were making all the difference. Such as beating the eggs.

Sebastian stayed behind him and pressed the measuring cup into his hand before guiding his motions to pour the eggs into the flour. Slowly the eggs were added while Ciel continued to stir the mix properly. Once the eggs were added, Ciel leaned forward to read the next step. It was specific, as were the other steps, and Ciel made sure to follow the instructions to a ‘T’.

He wanted to show Sebastian that he could do this, that he wasn’t terrible in the kitchen. A part of him feared that after this, Sebastian would realize that the cooking lessons were a terrible idea and would want to cancel them. Pushing the thoughts from his mind, Ciel slowly poured the milk into the flour mix while he watched Sebastian stir the mixture.

Once down, he glanced up at the older male, wondering if Sebastian was annoyed yet or not with his terrible cooking skills. But a quick look at Sebastian’s face showed that he seemed to be enjoying their little lesson. His lips were tilted up in a small smile and crimson eyes seemed light, a hint of amusement shining in them.

Or maybe Sebastian was just enjoying spending the time with him? 

The thought made Ciel’s heart beat a little faster and he gripped the edge of the counter tightly, wondering if he was thinking crazy thoughts or if he was actually correct. He watched as Sebastian moved over towards the stove to turn it on, heating up the large skillet that rested on the surface. 

“Are you regretting your choice now to teach me how to cook?” He asked, pleased that his voice came out steady and strong. 

Sebastian glanced at him, surprise present in his eyes as he shook his head. The skillet was set to the side before Sebastian started to write again and the Ciel reached for the paper once he was done.

‘Not at all. In fact, I think it’s rather fun to have someone to cook with, or in your case, teach you how to cook. I like cooking and I enjoy spending time with you, so when you put the two together, there’s nothing you could do that would make me regret my choice. Even your terrible cooking skills aren’t a turn off. They’re more of an endearing trait that makes the whole thing all the more fun.’

Ciel flushed and his heart raced a little more at the words and he set the paper off to the side. “I’m glad,” he said. “I thought I was messing everything up and you wouldn’t want to do this again.”

Sebastian chuckled lowly and shook his head before beckoning Ciel over to the stove. Ciel came willingly and stood next to the older male, feeling better about everything knowing that even though he wasn’t the greatest cook in the world, Sebastian was still enjoying himself. He was still determined to show himself to Sebastian and he watched carefully as Sebastian poured the batter onto the hot skillet.

He watched and when it was his turn, he tried his best to mimic the same thing Sebastian had done. A few drips hit the stovetop as Ciel jerked his arm, but for the most part, the step was done right. Sebastian moved behind him again, helping to guide his movements so the outside part of the crepe would flip properly.

By the time they were done, a stack of six crepes was cooling on a rack and Ciel stared at them proudly. The top most crepe was his pride and joy as Ciel had made it by himself without any help from Sebastian. It just showed that he could learn and he waited patiently for Sebastian to show him the next step.

Bags of whipped cream were set next the plate and Ciel reached for one, swiping at the tip and licking the cream off his finger. He hummed happily at the taste and watched as containers of fruit were place before him. “Did you make this yourself?” He asked, gesturing to the bags.

Sebastian opened his mouth as though he was going to say something, realized he couldn’t before reaching for the paper. Ciel watched him curiously, wondering what Sebastian was going to say as his question could easily have been answered with a shake or nod of the head. 

‘I could say something extremely crude to that question but I think I’ll restrain myself and answer with a polite yes. Now, pick which fruit you would like inside your crepe.’

Ciel stared at the paper before his eyes darted to the bags of cream and his mind quickly made the connection to what Sebastian was saying. Laughter bubbled up in his throat and he looked at Sebastian, noting that crimson eyes were dancing with amusement. “I knew you had a sense of humor,” Ciel stated. “Even if this time it was a little perverted. Should I start calling you Sexbastian from now on?”

Sebastian laughed, the sound filling the kitchen and Ciel found himself joining in. It had been a while since he had laughed like this and Ciel basked in the lighthearted feeling. Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes and he wiped them away, knowing that he would still find amusement in the name for some time.

“Right, back to work,” Ciel said and picked up the first bag. He gripped it too hard, making more cream spilled from the tip, and before Ciel could stop himself, he was doubled over in laughter. He knew what it looked like now and that, added with Sebastian’s comment hadn’t helped matters. His mind was now in the gutter and Ciel couldn’t help but reach forward and lick at the tip. “Mmm, tasty,” he purred.

He gasped as more cream came from the tip, covering his cheek and he looked down to see Sebastian’s hand wrapped around the bag. Blue eyes darted up to look at Sebastian to see a smug smirk on the man’s lips before he mouthed the word, ‘oops’.

Ciel snickered. “Someone was a little too excited,” he said, laughing lightly as Sebastian set the bag aside so they could clean up the mess and start working again. “Clean up the mess you made Sebastian.” He demanded, although the laughter in his voice gave him away.

Sebastian chuckled lowly and started to wipe away the mess with his fingers, the pads of his fingers brushing softly over Ciel’s face. It was a tender gesture and Ciel’s eyes fell shut at it as he leaned into the touch. The only thing that would make this better was if Sebastian was using his tongue.

Blue eyes snapped open, wondering where those thoughts had come from. It wasn’t as though they were bad thoughts, but they had been unexpected and left him feeling confused. “We…we should get back to work,” he stammered. “All this talk has left me hungry and I can’t wait to try these.”

The older male nodded and picked up a bag of whipped cream before gently squeezing out some of the filling into a ‘V’ shape. Once done, a small stack of bananas were placed in the center before some chocolate sauce was drizzled over it. The crepe was folded and then rolled into the proper shape before it was set in a dish that held it up and a scoop of ice cream was set on the top.

Ciel watched intently before looking at his own crepe and following the same process. A neat ‘V’ was made and strawberries were added in the center before Ciel started to fold it. It was harder than it looked and Ciel grumbled as the strawberries slipped around and the crepe came out looking less than ideal, especially when it sat next to Sebastian’s.

“I guess it’s the taste that matters?” He asked as he picked up the finished crepe. Sebastian nodded and gestured for him to take a bite as he picked up his own. Ciel eyed his crepe, taking a moment to admire something that he made before sinking his teeth into the crepe. Strawberries and ice cream filled his mouth and Ciel groaned at the taste, finding it delicious. “It’s good,” he said, slightly surprised. He had expected it to turn out bad.

Sebastian chuckled lowly and placed his crepe to the side so he could make two more, leaving the remaining crepes for Ciel to make. Ciel watched him work as he continued to eat, feeling a sense of peace settle over him. It had been a while since he had last felt this way and Ciel found that he didn’t want that feeling to go away.

He licked his lips as he swallowed the last piece of crepe and turned his attention to the last two. Ciel grabbed the whipped cream and started to make another ‘V’, allowing silence to settle in the kitchen as he worked next to Sebastian. It felt right, standing next to the older male and a small smile settled on Ciel’s lips.

“Thank you for this, Sebastian,” he said softly. “I really had a lot of fun and I enjoyed myself more than you know. I really liked spending time with you.” The words were honest and Ciel could feel his cheeks heating up slightly but he wouldn’t take them back. There was no need to.

His heart started to race painfully when Sebastian mouthed the words ‘me too,’ and Ciel could only stare at Sebastian’s face. It was the first time Ciel had seen Sebastian without any of his guards up, making crimson eyes seemingly shine. Beautiful was the first word that came to Ciel’s mind and he quickly memorized the look. Although with any luck, Ciel would be able to see that face again.

Because Ciel wanted to make Sebastian smile again and wanted to see the unguarded look. Wanted to see that face that made his heart skip and his stomach churn. And he wanted more.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

The soft chirping of a phone slowly pulled Ciel from the land of dreams and into the world of the waking. He groaned lowly, not wanting to move but the noise was quickly grating on his nerves and he rolled over to grab the device. It was shut off and with a long sigh, Ciel shifted onto his back and looked up at his ceiling.

Almost two months ago, Ciel had first stumbled across Sebastian sleeping in his bed and in that time, his views on the man had been completely turned around. He was spending more time with Sebastian and had ended up staying the night several times because it was late by the time they finished a lesson.

It had been close to two weeks since the first cooking lesson and Ciel was slowly learning more and more about Sebastian. He knew that Sebastian had an unhealthy obsession with cats and desperately wanted one but the apartment he lived in had a ban on pets. Not only that, Sebastian was aware of his financial situation and didn’t want to adopt a kitten when he wasn’t sure if he could afford to take care of it.

Ciel had to respect that choice even though it was painfully obvious that Sebastian wanted a kitten and Ciel had thought about buying one for the man but understood Sebastian’s point. Pets were expensive and even though they were wonderful to have, Sebastian had to think not only about the kitten’s welfare but his own.

Aside from his love of cats, Sebastian also had a passion for music and had an old iPod that was filled to capacity. It was so well used that it could barely hold a charge and lasted only a few hours before dying. Ciel had scrolled through it one time when Sebastian was still sleeping, finding that the man enjoyed a wide range of songs ranging from classical to the current songs that topped the charts. Claude’s music, Ciel noted, was no where on the device.

It seemed that music was one thing the brothers shared and once or twice, Ciel had heard Sebastian humming a tune to himself while he was cooking. The noise had been unexpected but even more than that, it was a rather pleasant noise that made Ciel long to hear more. It made Ciel wonder about Sebastian’s past and if the older male was mute at birth or if something had happened to cause it.

They had classes that helped to recover lost speech and Ciel had entertained the idea on several occasions to pay for Sebastian to take some classes. He wanted to hear Sebastian’s voice. In his mind, it was deep and seductive, a mix of Claude’s and Master’s; because no one could match Master’s voice. 

But the desire to know what it sounded like was simply that, a desire. Ciel was fine with the silence that came from Sebastian and it somehow made him appreciate the older male even more. It was something Ciel never thought would happen but now that it had happened, Ciel was glad that Sebastian had given him another chance.

Sebastian had given him so much and Ciel knew that. He was teaching him new things, such as cooking and sign language, and was giving up his time to spend it with Ciel. Time that Sebastian could be using to sleep but was instead waking up early so he could play chess or watch a movie with Ciel. 

Ciel had seen the bags under Sebastian’s eyes and knew that the man did something during the night hours, although Ciel hadn’t pushed further to find out if Sebastian worked at DIE or not. Regardless, the man had to come back home around six or seven in the morning and would go straight to bed before waking up at noon, as that was the time Ciel usually met with him.

The older male never complained about the missed sleep but Ciel could still see the tired look on Sebastian’s face when he came by early. The times that Ciel had a session with Master, he wouldn’t show up until three or four in the afternoon and it gave Sebastian the chance to sleep in more but recently there seemed to be less of those days.

Compared to going every other day as Ciel had in the past, Ciel was now going about two times a week and choosing instead to spend more time with Sebastian. He wasn’t needed at work right now as Claude was busy writing new songs for his next album and there wasn’t anything to do, leaving him with plenty of time to spend with Sebastian.

But in the end, it kept coming down to the fact that Sebastian was always giving and Ciel was only taking. He wasn’t giving anything back in return. Not that Sebastian had asked for something but Ciel still felt bad. 

With a grunt, Ciel flipped onto his stomach and grabbed his phone, bringing it closer. He looked at the time before unlocking the device so he could check his emails. There were a few new ones and he read through them before setting the phone on the pillow. It was around nine or so in the morning and too early to go see Sebastian but there was nothing else to do. 

Above him, the ceiling fan rotated, pushing the air around and Ciel tilted his head so it could rest better on the pillow. His eyes fell on his phone again and they widened slightly as inspiration struck without warning. He sat up in bed and checked the time once more before scrambling out of the bed.

It would take him an hour or so to get ready and lookup the information he needed online but it was still enough time to do everything he wanted. He padded towards the bathroom so he could shower and get dressed, humming happily as he went.

An hour and a half later, Ciel found himself standing outside of Sebastian’s apartment. The keys Sebastian had given him earlier in the week were familiar as he slid it into the door. The lock slid away and Ciel slipped inside the room quietly. The door was locked again and Ciel slipped his shoes off before making his way to Sebastian’s bedroom.

The door was closed, keeping the cold air in and Ciel shivered as he stepped inside the room. A floor fan blew in the direction of the bed and the cool air brushed over the thin sheet that covered Sebastian’s body. The covers had been kicked off sometime in the early morning and Ciel shifted them back up on the bed, along with the tattered and well worn black cat plush that had somehow tumbled to the floor. 

When Ciel had first seen it, he couldn’t help but laugh until Sebastian told him that it was the only thing he had left of his mother. She had bought it for him before he had been born with the hope to give it to him after his birth. But she never had that chance and instead, Claude had given it to him when he was a baby.

It reminded Sebastian of a time when things were better between Claude and him, and Ciel gazed at the plush. Its eyes had been sown back on and the fabric for the fur was matted down. Any other time, Ciel would’ve mocked Sebastian for keeping such a thing, especially as it had seen its years, but now he wouldn’t even think about it.

The plush was placed on the bed next to Sebastian and Ciel reached for Sebastian’s phone. A quick search of the old device brought up the alarm clock and Ciel pushed the time back. Sebastian deserved his sleep today and Ciel could wait for the man to wake up. And once he was awake, Ciel had plans to take Sebastian out for a small shopping trip.

They had never been out together in public before, choosing instead to stay inside where they could just be themselves. After the last grocery incident, Sebastian handled the grocery shopping himself for their cooking lessons and Ciel would pay for half of the bill since he was also eating the food. 

But this would be their first time out to go together and for the briefest moment, Ciel felt as though he was going on a date with Sebastian. The thought made him smile slightly and unbidden, warmth spread through his chest at the idea. The suddenness of the action surprised him and Ciel quickly set the phone down before leaving the room. 

With a small sigh, he plopped down on the couch and gazed around the apartment. Despite the new chess set that still sat on the table, the apartment was still depressing and Ciel wondered how much time Sebastian actually spent in the apartment. It seemed as though the only thing Sebastian used the room for was a place to eat and sleep. There was nothing personal at all in the room and it was rather sad.

Ciel jumped as his phone vibrated in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out, checking the caller ID. A small frown settled on his face as an image of Claude greeted him and Ciel reminded himself to take the picture off sooner rather than later. It had been a while since Ciel had seen Claude, the last time being the video shoot where Sebastian had showed up with clean hair.

After finding out that Ciel knew the real reason for Sebastian’s messy hair, Claude had become almost cold and distant, and for the first time, Ciel had seen Claude’s true personality. The man had lashed out several times at the crew and if looks could’ve killed, then Sebastian would’ve been dead on the spot.

There was something between the two brothers to make Claude act in such a violent way to Sebastian and Ciel was determined to find out what had happened. It was something deeper than Claude hating Sebastian for ‘killing’ their parents and Ciel had a feeling that that reason was a lie. If Claude honestly hated Sebastian for that, he wouldn’t have given Sebastian the plush when they were kids. 

But for now, Ciel had been avoiding Claude, not in the mood to talk to the older male. He was annoyed at Claude’s actions and since that day, Claude had barely crossed Ciel’s mind. The man would call every few days but something kept Ciel from picking up the phone to talk to him. Ciel didn’t want to tell Claude that he was spending time with Sebastian; that would only make things worse for Sebastian.

Glancing at his phone, Ciel noted that the device had finally stopped ringing and Claude had left a voice message. It was saved for later and Ciel pulled up his settings so he could delete the picture of the man before saving everything. Editing his contacts list made Ciel realize that he still didn’t have Sebastian’s phone number. Even though the man couldn’t talk, he could still text and that was enough for Ciel.

The thought was tucked away in his mind and Ciel leaned back on the couch, letting his eyes slide shut. Eventually he would have to contact Claude to see what he wanted and despite everything, Ciel would be lying if he said he wasn’t curious about what Claude had to say. Just because he was annoyed with the man and barely thought about him didn’t mean that Ciel had forgotten about him.

Because underneath it all, there was still that underlying feeling that Ciel had always had for Claude. It wouldn’t just vanish because of the new people that had entered his life. But if anything, the new people had made things all the more confusing for Ciel. His feelings for each warred against each other until Ciel didn’t know what to think at times.

A low groan left Ciel’s throat; he needed to talk to someone about this.

He glanced at the clock, noting the time before stretching out on the couch. It wouldn’t do him any good to keep pondering the thoughts himself; he wouldn’t get anywhere with them. For now, the best thing to do would be to sleep until Sebastian woke up so he would be well rested for their outing.

\---

The sound of cabinets slamming shut pulled Ciel from his sleep and he rubbed at his eyes as he sat up. It took a moment or two to remember where he was before Ciel focused on Sebastian. The older male was moving around the kitchen, putting away the dishes while listening to music. A quick glance at the clock had Ciel off the couch and he trotted to the kitchen.

“What are you doing up already?” He asked. “It’s still noon.”

Sebastian chuckled lowly as he set a stack of dishes in the cabinets before gesturing to a piece of paper that was waiting for Ciel. He reached for it and skimmed over the words. ‘I have an internal clock that wakes me up around this time, even if you changed my alarm. Should I ask why you did such a thing? If you didn’t want to spend the afternoon with me, a note would’ve worked just fine.’

Ciel shook his head. “I want to spend the afternoon with you, but I wanted you to get enough sleep. You always look so tired so I was hoping to let you sleep in. Especially since you only get up that early because that’s when I come over.” 

The older male waved his hand as though he was brushing the comment aside, silently telling Ciel that it was okay. The last of the dishes were put away and Sebastian leaned against the counter, waiting for Ciel to tell him what they were going to do today. 

Sighing slightly, Ciel ran a hand through his hair. “We’re going out today,” he stated. “It’s a nice day out and I think we should do something different from our normal lessons that we have.”

Sebastian blinked at him and quickly wrote out a question. ‘And where do you plan on going?’

There was a sense of curiosity that flowed from the words and Ciel could see the emotion clearly in Sebastian’s eyes. Worry and hesitation were there as well, no doubt stemming from the fact that they never left the apartment and were never seen together outside. Ciel could see the unasked question on Sebastian’s face, wondering if Ciel would be embarrassed about being seen with him and would change his mind.

Ciel shook his head and tugged on Sebastian’s wrist gently. “It’s a surprise. But go get changed so we can head out. We can take my car so we don’t have to walk all the way to the mall.” He paused as his stomach growled. “And maybe get some food too while we’re at it.”

Still looking unsure, Sebastian headed towards his bedroom to change from his sleep clothes and Ciel waited patiently for the man to emerge again. A part of Ciel was tempted to stop by a clothing store first to buy some new clothes for Sebastian but knew that the older male wouldn’t accept them; probably because of the thing between him and Claude. 

The door opened and Ciel glanced over Sebastian as the man padded out, wearing his familiar baggy jacket. “It’s too hot outside for a jacket,” Ciel stated and waved his hand. “Take it off or you’ll pass out in this heat. And I won’t take no for an answer.”

Reluctantly, Sebastian shed the jacket, revealing clothes that hung loosely on Sebastian’s frame but were an improvement from the jacket that Sebastian had been wearing earlier. At least these clothes didn’t look as though they would swallow him whole if given the chance. Ciel nodded and stood up before moving towards the door. His stomach was hungry and demanded food.

“Let’s go. I think you’re going to have fun today.” The small grunt that Sebastian gave wasn’t very enthusiastic but Ciel didn’t let himself worry about it. In time, that nervousness would go away and Sebastian would be able to enjoy himself.

The sun was hot and bright as they made their way to his car and as soon as they climbed inside, Ciel had the windows rolled down. Next to him, Sebastian looked tense and Ciel couldn’t help but reach over and grab Sebastian’s hand, giving it a small squeeze. “Relax, please. I’m not going to regret this, I promise. I want to do more things with you, despite what people may think. They don’t know you like I do and they’re just missing out because you’re a good person to be around.”

He was rewarded with a smile and Ciel returned it with one of his own. Giving Sebastian’s hand one more squeeze, Ciel backed out of the parking spot and pulled out onto the road. Sebastian was always spoiling him, even after everything Ciel had done to him in the past. Now it was Ciel’s turn to return the favor and spoil Sebastian.

They drove in silence with the windows down and the wind whipping at their faces. There was no need for words and the silence in the car was comfortable, as with each passing minute, Sebastian would relax even more until at last the man had an easy smile on his face. Their first stop was a drive through where they wrestled in the car over who would pay.

It had resulted in the horn blaring a couple times, courtesy of Sebastian’s elbow hitting it as he struggled to reach over Ciel to pay but in the end, Ciel had ended up pushing Sebastian away with his foot and was able to pay for the both of them. Even if it had been an awkward stretch to the drive through window. The woman working the window though had been thoroughly amused and had ended up giving them a free ice cream once she had stopped laughing. 

It wasn’t until they were driving away that Sebastian had scrawled out a reply on the napkin and Ciel glanced at it when the light turned red. ‘I’m not a girl and I can pay for myself, Ciel. I’m also not so poor that I can’t pay for my own meal either.’

Ciel waved his hand. “It’s not about whether or not you have the money, it’s about the fact that I wanted to buy you lunch. And anything else that I might pay for today is because I want to, not because I pity you.” He popped a fry into his mouth. “I also happen to know that you’re not a girl. You leave the toilet seat up for starters.”

Sebastian rolled his eyes as he took a bite of his fry and didn’t bother to comment as the light changed green. The rest of the drive settled in silence, broken only by the rustle of a bag as an occasional French fry was pulled from the bag. By the time they reached the mall, Ciel’s stomach was growling loudly and the moment he parked, he was grabbed the bag of food.

“I still think yours is better,” Ciel admitted after a while and he wiped the grease off his fingers. “But you have to admit that getting take out every now and then is a lot easier than making your own dinner all the time.”

Sebastian shrugged and tossed his trash into the empty bag. He licked his lips before wiping them off with a napkin and Ciel watched the motions from the corner of his eye. He couldn’t understand why Claude called Sebastian disgusting. Everything that Ciel had seen of Sebastian showed that the man was neat and took care of himself despite outward appearances. He really needed to get to the bottom of everything.

But now wasn’t the time for that and he tossed his trash away as well before stretching in his seat. “Shall we?” He asked and opened the door. “I need to swing by the electronic store but other than that, we can go anywhere you want.” Crimson eyes lit up and a simple word was scribbled on the napkin, making Ciel groan when he read it. “Fine, let’s go see the kittens.”

Ciel shook his head as they walked towards the large building, ignoring the sun as it beat down on their heads. It would be nice and cool inside, and once they were done with the kittens, they could move on to other things. Maybe go play some arcade games and Ciel could kick Sebastian’s () at air hockey.

Snickering to himself, Ciel walked next to Sebastian as they made their way to the adoption center. The main animal shelter was further away on the outskirts of town, but by placing a small branch in the mall, it was able to receive more publicity and more animals were adopted. As soon as they were inside the store, Sebastian made a beeline to the kittens and Ciel hung back, letting the man fawn over them. Ciel was more of a dog person himself and he wandered over to the dogs who greeted him happily.

Minutes passed and bled into an hour before Ciel had finally made his way through the line of dogs. There was one that he kept going back to and he picked up her information for later, hoping that perhaps he could convince his parents to adopt. He found Sebastian reclining on a chair with a kitten curled in his lap while he read a book. The small animal seemed content to sleep the day away and Ciel looked at Sebastian sadly. 

“We should get going,” he said softly. Sebastian sighed heavily and set the book aside before scooping up the tiny kitten. It gave a small noise of protest as Sebastian placed it back with its littermates and Ciel winced slightly, wondering if it was a bad to let Sebastian play with the animals. But as they walked away, Sebastian’s face was happy and Ciel felt some of the weight lift off his chest.

The phone was passed to him and Ciel read the message that Sebastian had typed. ‘Even though I couldn’t get her, it was still nice to indulge for just a little while. Thank you. What now?’

Ciel passed the phone back and glanced at Sebastian with a small smirk on his face. “You up for some arcade games?” He asked, feeling excited. He would often play them with Elizabeth and she could play a mean game of DDR and pinball, but he was looking forward to playing them with Sebastian.

Sebastian looked at him and a smile crept on his face. ‘Bring it on,’ he mouthed as they stepped onto the escalator, crimson eyes defiant and challenging. 

“With pleasure,” Ciel purred. “You’re going down, Sebastian. I will kick your butt on the air hockey table. I’m unbeatable.”

A message was typed out quickly and passed over. ‘Loser has to buy winner another ice cream cone.”

“Deal,” Ciel said and darted off for the arcade as soon they reached the proper floor. Sebastian followed at a more leisurely pace but the smirk on his face was still present when he took his place across from Ciel at the air hockey table. The plastic puck was placed on the table and Ciel watched as Sebastian grabbed his mallet. “Ready?” He asked. 

Sebastian nodded and Ciel’s arm shot forward as he hit the puck with his paddle. It flew across the table and was returned by Sebastian, and Ciel felt a familiar feeling of adrenaline race through his veins. This was his game, he loved to play it and whenever they would come to the mall, he would play at least one game with Elizabeth. Next to chess, it was his favorite game to play.

He smirked as Sebastian missed the puck and it sunk into the goal, a number one flashing on Ciel’s side. A new puck was dispensed and Ciel placed it on the table, watching Sebastian carefully. He wouldn’t become cocky as that only led to defeat and Ciel forced himself to stay calm. The puck was put into play and they continued again, skillfully dancing at the end of the table as they defended their goals.

The next point went to Sebastian and they were tied at 1-1, making Ciel nod his head. Sebastian was also good at the game and that skill would only make things more interesting. Ciel liked the challenge and he quickly blocked the puck as it shot towards his goal. “You’re good,” Ciel stated and bounced the puck off the edge of the table so it moved in a ziz-zag shape. “But that ice cream cone is mine.”

Sebastian didn’t answer but the smirk on his face grew as they continued to play and it seemed as though Ciel wasn’t the only one enjoying himself. They continued to play, silence settling over them as they focused and Ciel was barely aware of the people that passed by them; he was too focused on the game to pay them any attention.

His focus was rewarded when another puck landed in Sebastian’s goal and Ciel’s smirk grew. If he made one more goal, there was no way Sebastian would be able to win. The only thing Ciel had to do was make sure that he kept his own goal defended and made a goal before Sebastian. 

Across from him, Sebastian’s face was set and determined as he focused; the urge to win was strong in them both and Ciel knew that Sebastian wouldn’t go down without a fight. The game was on the line now and they were both going to give it everything they had. The puck clinked loudly against their mallets and Ciel watched it fly across the table, his eyes never leaving it for a second.

He blocked the puck as it neared his goal, sucking in a deep breath as it almost ricocheted back into his goal. It was diverted last minute and caught Sebastian off guard as it sunk into his goal. The table turned off as Ciel was pronounced the winner and Ciel pushed his mallet to the side. “Looks like you’re paying for ice cream,” he stated.

Sebastian rolled his eyes but nodded before gesturing to the table, silently asking for another game. Ciel smirked and pulled out a handful of quarters, slipping them into the game. The table turned on again, the mallets seemingly floating on the surface as a puck was deposited in the dispenser. Round two was about to begin.

Two hours later, they left the arcade with Ciel holding an inflatable hammer that he was able to purchase from the winner’s corner, thanks to the tickets Sebastian had won at skeeball. Turned out that Sebastian was rather good at the game and had quickly racked up tickets. It wasn’t an ideal prize but Ciel had plans to give it to Elizabeth. Her dog would love playing with something like this and would provide hours of entertainment when she came back.

It was getting late in the day and they needed to head back soon. Sebastian hadn’t mentioned staying home from work today but Ciel had promised dinner with his parents tonight and wouldn’t be able to back out of it anytime soon. “I have one more place that I want to stop at before we go back,” he stated, steering Sebastian in the direction of the Apple Store.

Sebastian nodded and followed lazily. His eyes scanned the store when they entered, taking everything in before moving over to the computers while Ciel walked to the other side of the store. He eyed the music devices that were on display, pondering which one would be best to get. A quick look over his shoulder showed that Sebastian was currently engaged with a computer, scanning through the settings and Ciel focused once more.

He needed a new iPod, one that would hold more than his previous and Ciel searched the line of devices on display before finding one that caught his eye. It was smaller than the old one that Ciel was looking to replace but would hold more music and in the end that was all that mattered. He glanced at the colors available and found himself hesitating; torn between two colors.

It would be easy enough to get black, it was simple and wasn’t really personal. But there was also a blue color that stood up amongst the rest and Ciel couldn’t help but be drawn towards it. The color matched his eyes and made things more meaningful. With a small sigh, Ciel reached for the blue device and plucked it from the shelf.

He made his way over to Sebastian and tapped him on the head with the toy hammer, feeling slightly playful. “Ready?” He asked as Sebastian turned around and made a face at him. “I just have to pay for this and we can head back. But first you owe me ice cream. Don’t think I forgot about that.”

Sebastian smirked and rolled his eyes, a sign that he had hoped Ciel would’ve forgotten and Ciel snickered lowly. The device was set on the checkout counter and was quickly bagged as Ciel paid for it. Once it was passed off to him, they made their way out of the store and Ciel hummed lowly as they walked to the car.

The bag in his hand felt heavy and his heart raced with nervousness over what he had just done. The iPod in the bag wasn’t for him but instead for Sebastian. He had just paid () for a new iPod that wasn’t even for himself. It wasn’t even for someone in his family but for Sebastian. Sebastian. The man who, not to long ago, was invisible to Ciel and wasn’t worth a shred of his time. The person who Ciel thought was a social outcast, a nobody, and was simply someone who wasn’t fit to walk in society.

And now…now he was person who Ciel spent most of his time with. He was the one on Ciel’s thoughts the majority of the time and the one Ciel wanted to see smile. 

He jumped as a soft hand touched his shoulder, pulling him from his thoughts. Ciel turned around to look at Sebastian, seeing worry etched into Sebastian’s face, no doubt wondering what was going through Ciel’s mind. “I’m fine,” Ciel said quickly and smirked at Sebastian. “Just thinking about what flavor ice cream I want.”

Sebastian chuckled but still looked unsure as they climbed into the car. Ciel wasn’t sure when the best time to give the gift to Sebastian would be but he figured the opportune moment would present itself soon enough. The car purred to life underneath them and Ciel backed out of the parking spot, making his way to the road. 

There was an ice cream shop down the road that served the best ice cream in town and Ciel made his way there, feeling the urge for some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. His sweet tooth was calling and within minutes, they were in the drive through. The line was short and it didn’t take long to get the ice cream they wanted. Sebastian paid, ignoring the smug look on Ciel’s face as the money was passed off and Ciel chuckled lowly as they drove away.

The ice cream was almost gone by the time they arrived back at Sebastian’s apartment and Ciel crunched on the cone as he walked up the steps, the bag from the store bumping into his leg. “I had a lot of fun,” he said, waiting patiently as Sebastian unlocked the door before letting him in. “We should go out like that more often.”

Sebastian nodded and ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back from his face and making it stick up in places. With a loud sigh, Sebastian settled on the couch, stretching out against the cushions and letting his eyes slip shut. Ciel chuckled at the sight and popped the last part of the cone into his mouth before moving over to Sebastian’s side. 

He clicked his tongue and took a seat next to Sebastian, the dip in the couch making a crimson eye open slightly to look at him. “You’re a mess,” Ciel stated and reached forward to smooth out the pieces of hair that refused to fall properly into place. The hair was soft under his touch and Ciel’s fingers lingered as he brushed the digits through the hair, simply feeling.

It was such a change, now that Sebastian’s hair was clean and Ciel couldn’t help but marvel at the sight before him. Sebastian’s eyes were closed again and he was leaning into his touch, silently asking for more. Lips were parted slightly, soft breaths falling from them as Ciel’s fingers trailed lower on the man’s face.

They skimmed over a smooth cheek, the action making Sebastian hum lightly in pleasure and Ciel hesitated only for a moment before his thumb brushed against Sebastian’s lower lip. It was cool from the ice cream and Ciel sucked in a sharp breath at the soft feeling underneath his finger. Ciel’s heart raced almost painfully against his chest and his fingers shook slightly as he pulled away from Sebastian’s lips.

Sebastian was practically asleep against him, his body relaxed and limp on the couch. Ciel reached forward again, running his fingers through soft locks before trailing down slowly until his hands cupped Sebastian’s face. His eyes fell on the older male’s lips once more and he was vaguely aware that Sebastian was awake now, watching him through lidded eyes.

“I want…” Ciel murmured as he leaned in closer, feeling Sebastian’s breath fan over his face. It smelt like vanilla from the ice cream they had just moments before coming back. His eyes darted over Sebastian’s face, taking in every feature with clear eyes.

Crimson eyes were dark in the dim room and they watched his every move but didn’t make a point to stop him as Ciel continued his exploration. Ciel watched as Sebastian’s tongue darted out to wet his lips, making them damp, and Ciel found himself mimicking the action. “I want,” Ciel whispered softly, unable to finish the words.

But words weren’t needed as Ciel’s body finished the sentence for him and before he knew what was happening, Ciel was leaning forward and closing the gap between himself and Sebastian. Lips pressed against each other in an awkward and curious kiss, one that took both of them by surprise.

It was unexpected and as soon as the realization of what he had just done worked its way through Ciel’s mind, he jerked back quickly. He stared down at Sebastian, noting that crimson eyes were staring back up at him, emotions racing through his eyes too quickly to read. “I…I need to go,” Ciel said, the words falling from his mouth before he could stop them.

He knew how Sebastian would take them, believing that Ciel regretted what he had just done even if it wasn’t the case. Ciel couldn’t bring himself to regret his actions but instead was wholly confused. His emotions raced and warred against each other, trying to sort out what exactly he was feeling but Ciel couldn’t do that in front of Sebastian. He needed to think, needed to get away.

Without another word, Ciel stood up from the couch and would’ve bolted away if a quick hand hadn’t grabbed his wrist. It stopped him in his tracks and Ciel looked back at Sebastian, feeling his stomach clench and flutter at the same time while his head spun. “Sebastian,” he muttered and trembled where he stood.

They stared at each other for another minute before Sebastian gave his arm a gentle tug, bringing him back towards the couch. Ciel went willingly and nearly collapsed next to the older male, his legs shaking too much to keep him from standing up. He closed his eyes as Sebastian reached forward, hands cupping his cheek and Ciel shivered at the action.

He didn’t know what was going through Sebastian’s mind, but the one thought that Ciel dreaded the most was that Sebastian would turn him away now. Would be disgusted at his actions and never want to see him again. 

His eyes snapped open as Sebastian’s fingers brushed over his cheeks and tilted his head down, placing a soft kiss to his forehead. Lips moved down slowly, skimming over his skin and Ciel held still as another kiss was pressed to his temple, and then his cheek before Sebastian stopped all together.

Their foreheads pressed together and only an inch of air separated their lips from each other. Sebastian’s hands were comforting as they looked at each other and Ciel felt his eyes falling shut as Sebastian leaned up to close the distance between them. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, their lips touched and Ciel’s hands reached up to thread through dark locks. It pulled them closer and their lips molded together, drawing the smallest of moans from Ciel. It was tender and chaste, and Ciel felt Sebastian’s hand slide from his cheek to cup the back of his neck.

The touch remanded, even after they broke apart and Ciel’s eyes opened slightly, his lips tingling. “Sebastian,” he murmured, lips moving over Sebastian’s as he spoke. He wanted more and Ciel pressed forward gently, almost shyly. Sebastian welcomed the kiss and their eyes fell shut once more as lips molded against each other.

It was a simple kiss; a connection of lips and an exchange of breaths, but the feelings that passed between them during that time were anything but simple. In it, Ciel could feel the passion and desire that came from Sebastian and Ciel’s emotions surged forward, wanting to match that same feeling.

He felt as though time had slowed down around them, enveloping them in a cocoon that shielded them from the rest of the world while they shared this tender moment together. There was no need to rush. There was no one there but them. They could just lazily explore each other to their hearts content until they were satisfied. 

They pulled apart, a soft sigh escaping their lips and Ciel gazed down at Sebastian, noting that crimson eyes were watching him carefully. Sebastian’s cheeks were flushed slightly and Ciel could feel the man’s pulse fluttering just below his fingertips. It was a breathtaking sight and for the briefest moment, Ciel could see how truly attractive Sebastian was. 

It was a subtle attractive, hidden behind the façade of unneeded glasses and hairspray. But when given the chance, it had come to bloom before Ciel’s eyes and he suddenly found it hard to breathe. He couldn’t do this, whatever this was. When had these feelings for Sebastian grown and taken hold of him? When had Ciel started to desire not Sebastian’s body but his personality? 

Ciel pulled back, moving away from Sebastian “I can’t…I need, I need to go home,” he panted and winced at the hurt that flickered through Sebastian’s eyes due to his words. He reached forward before he could stop himself and cupped Sebastian’s face. “Not for that reason, not because I regret but because I…” He trailed off.

How could he tell Sebastian that he had to leave because he was scared of the feelings that were racing through his body? Feelings that hadn’t been there a few weeks ago. 

“I don’t regret it,” Ciel finally said, his voice soft despite the pounding heartbeat in his ears and he pressed one last tender kiss to Sebastian’s lips. They were both trembling; Ciel could feel it and he pulled back slowly. “Please believe me when I say that and that I will be back tomorrow. Just don’t think that I hate you now and that this is your fault.”

Ciel stood up carefully, knowing that Sebastian still doubted him and he didn’t blame the older male. But he couldn’t stay here any longer. He needed time to figure out his feelings and talk to someone about them. Everything was too confusing and it was making his head swim. Ciel muttered a quick sorry before bolting to the door.

He chanced one last glance at Sebastian, noting that the older male hadn’t moved from the couch and was simply lying there. It made Ciel’s heart clench, knowing that he was the one to upset Sebastian but if he stayed any longer, there was a chance that Ciel would only end up hurting Sebastian more. He couldn’t do anything until he further examined his feelings and Ciel refused to lead Sebastian on.

He slipped out the door and ran through the apartment, not stopping until he reached his car. Once inside, Ciel slumped against the steering wheel and gasped for breath. His lips tingled and Ciel glanced up at the building he had just left, knowing that Sebastian was still inside, no doubt feeling hurt and confused.

Ciel’s eyes clenched shut and he let out a shuddering breath, feeling wetness prick the edges of his eyes. Why did everything have to be so confusing? He didn’t know what to do anymore.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

Ciel paced the floor in his bedroom, glancing at the clock and cursing under his breath when he realized it hadn’t changed since the last time he looked. He forced himself to take a deep breath and try to calm down, but found that it was near impossible. His mind was racing with too many thoughts for it to calm down and Ciel was quickly working himself into a panic attack.

It had been four hours since the kiss he had shared with Sebastian. He stopped and shook his head; kisses would be the better word. There had been four total, the middle two had been the best and just the thought of them made Ciel smile slightly. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that Ciel had run from that room as though it was hell and Sebastian was the devil himself.

He felt like an idiot for acting that way and Ciel could already guess how Sebastian was feeling. Ciel’s emotions were in turmoil and he didn’t even want to think how Sebastian was faring. The older male had probably yearned for him longer than Ciel had and after getting a brief taste, Ciel had ripped it away from Sebastian. 

Scratch that, he didn’t feel like an idiot, he felt like an ass. 

Dinner with his parents had been a stressful time with Ciel trying his hardest not to snap at his parents. He ate mostly in silence, barely aware of his actions and the only thing that ran through his mind was that Sebastian’s cooking was better than the cooks. Just that thought had Ciel’s stomach churning.

Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian.

The man was always in his thoughts now and Ciel didn’t even know when it had happened but somehow it had. It wasn’t a bad thing and Ciel found that he enjoyed thinking about Sebastian and spending time with him. But what did it all mean? He wasn’t the right person to answer that question and right when Ciel came home, he had called Elizabeth, hoping to get her advice.

She knew more about the matters of the heart and never failed to give him good advice. Except for the one time she told him that jumping off the swing when it was going really high was a good idea. That advice had landed Ciel in the hospital with a broken wrist when he was nine but that was all water under the bridge.

Now, Ciel was waiting for Elizabeth to call back. Her text message said that she would call at 8:25 and it was a minute past that. The extra minute was making Ciel’s nerves grow even more frazzled and he paced another circuit around his room. He was by the door when the phone rang on his bed and Ciel made a dive for the device, nearly knocking it off the covers.

He fumbled for it and brought it to his ear. “You’re late,” he said, rolling onto his back.

“Hello to you too. I’m having a wonderful vacation thanks for asking,” Elizabeth drawled. “Which, need I remind you; I am taking time from to help you.”

“I know,” Ciel muttered. “And thank you for that, I’m really grateful. It’s just…I need your help with something.”

Elizabeth hummed and Ciel could just see her waving her hand, urging him on. “I know, I heard your message. What’s the matter, Ciel? I don’t think I’ve heard you sound this troubled in a while.” She asked, concern lacing her voice.

Ciel worried his lower lip between his teeth for a moment before plowing forward. “I kissed a guy today and I liked it.” He mentally kicked himself for his words the moment they left his mouth. 

A small giggle left Elizabeth’s mouth. “I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh because this is obviously bothering you, but even you have to admit that it’s funny.” She cleared her throat and continued. “But what’s so bad about that? You already knew that you liked guys and have kissed them before, so what makes this one any different?”

“For starters, its Claude’s brother,” Ciel admitted and winced at the small squeal that left Elizabeth’s throat. “But you would never know that if you looked at them. Sebastian is Claude’s opposite. He’s mute, dresses in really baggy clothes, and had really greasy hair. He lives in the shadows and you would never know that he was there if you weren’t looking. He works for us, but only part time and he doesn’t make enough to support himself, and you can tell he’s low on money.”

“I see,” Elizabeth said cautiously. “But you said he had greasy hair, not has. Something happened to change that tense.”

Ciel nodded even though Elizabeth couldn’t see. “I found out that he styled his hair to look greasy and dirty because of Claude, and told him not to style it that way anymore. Now it’s clean and makes his face look really nice,” he finished softly, remembering the way Sebastian looked on the couch earlier that day.

“Go on,” Elizabeth urged.

“I treated him poorly a few weeks ago by shouting at him for something that wasn’t his fault and went to apologize the next day. He forgave me and since then, we’ve been spending time together,” Ciel said, relaxing on the bed. “We play chess together and he’s been teaching me how to cook. We went to the mall today and he’s really good in the arcade too. He beat your skeeball record.”

Elizabeth huffed at that. “I’ll have to make sure to take it back when I return then,” she said seriously, even though there was a smile on her face. “But he sounds like a nice guy, I fail to see what’s wrong.”

Ciel rolled onto his side, staring out the window. “He is a nice person. His personality is something that everyone would look for in a lover. He’s funny, nice, is a great cook, and really smart. But…” he trailed off, trying to figure out how to phrase his next words. “He’s not…You look at Claude and you know he’s sexy and hot. He’s good looking and yeah. But Sebastian…he’s just not.”

“And yet you kissed him,” Elizabeth pointed out. 

“Yeah, this afternoon. We came back from ice cream and I was playing with his hair because it’s really soft. Next thing I know, I was kissing him and I couldn’t stop.” Ciel said, his voice pitching slightly. “He kissed me back and we kissed a few more times, but I had to leave because I was so confused and scared. I don’t know if I should be feeling this way. I thought I wanted Claude, not his opposite brother.” Ciel winced as the words came out harsher than he meant.

On the other end of the phone, Elizabeth snorted. “Do you still want Claude?”

Ciel faltered, not expecting the words. “I…I don’t know anymore. I thought I did but then I met Sebastian, got to know him more and I like his personality. But I still like the way Claude looks.” He paused. “Shouldn’t I want Claude then?”

Laughter sounded over the phone. “Ciel, you’re so silly,” Elizabeth crowed. “The answer is obvious. You said so yourself that he’s a bum who can’t take care of himself. He doesn’t care about his looks or he would try to dress better. If he’s ugly and is poor, there’s no need for you to waste your time on him. Personality or not, in the end it’s only looks that matter. Drop that ugly fag and keep after Claude. Sounds to me like Sebastian’s a nobody.”

The words made Ciel bristle and anger blossomed throughout his chest as he sat up, clutching the phone tightly in his mouth. “Silence your mouth, Elizabeth,” he snapped harshly. “You don’t know Sebastian at all, so don’t go saying things about him when you’ve never met him, never taken the time to get to know him. Sebastian’s a brilliant man and is always nice to me. He’s forgiving and understanding, more than most people I’ve met.”

His chest heaved and Ciel knew his voice was raising but he couldn’t silence his words. They were flowing from his mouth and they wouldn’t stop until Elizabeth heard everything. How dare she judge Sebastian when she didn’t know him?

“Sure he’s obsessed with cats and might not have as much money as Claude, which means he has to live in a cheap apartment but it’s better than nothing. He works hard at his job with us, even though he could get a job any where else. He graduated with a () 4.0 from college, did you know that?” He snarled. “So you don’t you dare call him a nobody. Sebastian is far from that.”

He was panting heavily by the time and a there was a wet spot on the covers of his bed from where a small amount of spittle had left his mouth during his rant. He was still angry and fuming, ready to tear into Elizabeth more but stopped at a soft hum from her. “Ah, and here I thought you said that only looks mattered compared to personality,” she stated.

Ciel jerked on the bed and nearly groaned when he realized he had walked into Elizabeth’s trap. He had taken the bait; hook, line, and sinker, and now he would have to eat his words. 

“I hope you listened to your own words, Ciel,” she continued softly. “It sounds to me like he’s a good guy despite a slightly scruffy appearance. Everything that you just listed about him that you liked was strictly personality, not once did you mention his looks. And it sounds to me like you’ve fallen for him, despite how he looks. You like his personality and him, and you’re willing to defend him against anyone who says otherwise. Quite harshly if I may point it out.”

“Sorry,” Ciel murmured, feeling guilt about snapping at Elizabeth now. “I just heard you say all those things about him and I couldn’t sit here, listening to you criticize him when you didn’t know the first thing about Sebastian.”

Elizabeth nodded on the other end of the phone. “I know, Ciel. And know that I took no pleasure in saying those things, but you weren’t going to listen to reason any other way. By targeting the person you care about, you jumped to defend him without thought. I think you know you’re feelings but you’re just scared to admit them because Sebastian if different from the norm.”

Ciel sighed, knowing that Elizabeth was right and decided to stay silent. She knew what she was talking about and was hitting the nail on the head. It was best to let her keep talking, letting her lie out everything before him so there wasn’t anything he could run from.

“He might not be as attractive as his brother or others, but don’t be so shallow as to toss aside someone nice just because they don’t meet the same appearance as a celebrity,” Elizabeth stated. “There’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling for him now and you should give him the chance. Don’t let his looks deter you. You already said yourself that you kissed him earlier today and enjoyed it, despite how he looks. So that should say something right there.”

A small laugh left Ciel’s mouth. “You are wise, Elizabeth. I guess you were right when you said that females mature faster than males.”

Elizabeth giggled and Ciel could feel the tension leaving his shoulders. “And you never know, maybe he’s hiding a hot, sexy body underneath those baggy clothes he wears,” she said, her voice bright and bubbly. “So tell me, what’s he like? Will I get to meet him when I come back? I want to see this person you’re so protective over.”

Ciel shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair. Leave it to Elizabeth to get excited over something like this. Just because Elizabeth had smoothed things over for him for the time being, it didn’t mean that Ciel would be dating Sebastian anytime soon. The thought made him frown and he glanced at the wall.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to date him yet,” he blurted out.

Elizabeth made a tsk-ing noise. “Of course not. You two just met and it seems to me that there’s still a small trust issue between you two. You need to get over that hurdle first before asking him out, or vice versa. But there’s nothing wrong with spending time with him and letting the trust grow.”

Ciel shifted on the bed. “Can we still kiss?” He asked, voice low. Kissing Sebastian that afternoon was something Ciel wouldn’t forget anytime soon and Ciel yearned to kiss the older male again.

“That’s something I can’t tell you. You know how you feel with him and it would be best to ask him yourself,” Elizabeth answered. “You both liked, from the sounds of it, but at the same time, you have to be careful not to lead him on. Because it sounds to me that you still have a thing for Claude.”

A groan left Ciel’s mouth at that reminder. “Complicated,” he whined. He didn’t even want to factor in Master, which would bring up a whole new list of problems. “I don’t know what to do,” he admitted. 

Elizabeth was silent on the other end before speaking again. “I can’t tell you what to do, Ciel. That’s something you have to do for yourself. You know how you feel and I have my suggestion but I’ll stay silent for the time being. But my advice stays the same. Don’t rush in your judgment because of what others say or believe, or by what you believe. There are times when the right choice isn’t the most obvious.”

Ciel nodded quietly, knowing that he had a lot to think about before tomorrow. He knew what he wanted and for the first time, the answer wasn’t Claude. The desire for the man was still there but it wasn’t as strong as it had been when Ciel made the deal with Claude all those months ago. Now it was just a low burning flame that was being overshadowed by the longing for Sebastian.

“Thank you for your help, Elizabeth. I know I’ll have to figure out the rest on my own,” he said lowly, though he wished that Elizabeth could tell him the right choice to make. But a part of Ciel already knew the answer. When Elizabeth had told him to drop Sebastian for Claude, there had been a part of Ciel that hadn’t liked that advice. It wanted to cry out that he wanted Sebastian instead, but the desire to chew Elizabeth out for her comment had forced it to the side for the time being.

“You’ll do the right thing, Ciel,” Elizabeth said softly, her words making Ciel smile slightly. “You’re smart and you know what you want, even if you don’t want to admit it to yourself just yet. I’m sure that by the time I get home, you’ll have picked someone and whoever it is, I can’t wait to meet them.”

Ciel laughed, feeling light for the first time since he left Sebastian’s apartment. Now he couldn’t wait to go back and see the other male. It would be awkward tomorrow; that much Ciel was sure of, but Elizabeth was right. He knew who he wanted and now Ciel had to let them know that. Now all he had to do was wait until that time and hope that Sebastian would listen to him.

\---------

The air outside of Sebastian’s apartment felt thick as Ciel stood in front of the door. He sucked in a deep breath, the lingering scent of cigarette smoke and Sebastian’s breakfast mixing together in Ciel’s senses. It was a weird combination and Ciel could only hope that the man wasn’t already asleep. It was past noon, the time when Sebastian would be up and waiting for him to visit. But the question was, was Sebastian still waiting for him today?

Ciel sighed, the air leaving his lungs in a giant whoosh before he raised his hand to knock on the door. He had a key and could let himself in but after yesterday, Ciel wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not. He waited patiently and with each minute that passed with no answer from Sebastian, Ciel found his worry growing even more. Surely Sebastian wouldn’t do something stupid, right?

Panic blossomed in Ciel’s chest and he fumbled for the key in his pocket. He tried to jam it into the lock and missed, making him curse. Another try proved fruitless as the key was upside down and finally on the third try, the key slid home. The door was unlocked and Ciel darted inside, hoping that he wouldn’t find Sebastian in a less than favorable position.

The apartment was clean, Ciel noted as the door slammed shut behind him and that was a good thing, or at least Ciel reasoned. It meant that Sebastian had destroyed the place in desperation last night but at the same time, Ciel wasn’t sure if Sebastian would act that way. It seemed to be more of a Claude thing than a Sebastian one. 

“Sebastian?” Ciel called out, even though he knew the older male couldn’t answer. A soft whirling sound met Ciel’s ears and he recognized it as the sound of a bathroom fan running. Heart racing, Ciel ran to the bathroom, hoping that he wouldn’t find Sebastian face down in the water or sitting in a tub of pink water with blood running freely from a cut wrist. 

They were morbid thoughts but Ciel couldn’t shake them as he tossed open the door to Sebastian’s bedroom. The bathroom door was closed and Ciel could see a lit shinning through the crack at the bottom of the door. Cursing lowly, Ciel moved to the only thing separating him from Sebastian and tossed the door open.

It banged against the wall and steam rushed over Ciel’s face. A squawk left Sebastian’s mouth as he slipped under the water in surprise and he came up sputtering a second later. “You’re alive,” Ciel breathed and slummed against the door in relief. Sebastian’s only reply was a deadpan look before the shower curtain was pulled shut, leaving Ciel to look at the Periodic Table of Elements.

Ciel stared at it for a moment before bursting into laughter. “You’re such a dork,” he said and heard Sebastian splash at the water in retaliation. The man poked his head around the curtain and pointed to the door, mouthing the word ‘out’ before vanishing once more. Still chuckling, Ciel held his hands up in mock defense. “I’m going, I’m going. I’ll be in the living room while you finish primping.”

The bathroom door was shut, along with the bedroom as Ciel moved out to the living room. He dropped down onto the couch and pulled a nearby pillow onto his lap. Judging by the blanket and pillow, Ciel would guess that Sebastian had slept on the couch last night and he brought the pillow to his face, inhaling the man’s scent. It smelt like cinnamon and Ciel closed his eyes, letting the scent surround him while he waited for Sebastian to finish his bath. 

He didn’t have to wait long and Ciel opened his eyes as the bedroom door opened, Sebastian walking into the living room with a towel draped around his neck. Loose sleep pants and a shirt covered his body, and Sebastian rubbed at his hair with the towel. “Sorry to scare you like that,” Ciel said, his lips twitching slightly. “I didn’t interrupt your ‘alone’ time did I, Sexbastian?”

The older man glared at him as his hands gestured in the air, yelling at Ciel through sign language even though Ciel couldn’t understand a word. But it was making Sebastian feel better and by the time he finished, Ciel could see that Sebastian had calmed down. Smiling slightly, Ciel patted the spot next to him on the couch, silently asking Sebastian to sit next to him.

“I’m sorry I left like that yesterday,” Ciel said after Sebastian settled next to him. There was a good distance between them but that didn’t bother Ciel as it would only allow him to think properly. “I didn’t know what to think and all the emotions that I was feeling had me confused and scared so that in the end, all I could do was run.”

Sebastian gazed at him but didn’t say a word. It seemed as though the older male was going to stay silent and let Ciel get all the feelings off his chest before allowing himself to say his thoughts.

Ciel gripped the pillow tighter and plowed on. “I was confused because well…you’re different then everyone else that I’ve been with,” he admitted and winced slightly, knowing that the words came out wrong but it was too late to take anything back. “But it’s not just your looks that are different but also your personality. It draws me in and keeps me asking for more. You’re different in that I fell for your personality first and not your looks but now I find that all of you is starting to grow on me.”

A piece of hair was brushed out of Ciel’s face and he felt his cheeks grow warm as he continued talking. “I liked kissing you yesterday. It felt right and I wanted more. I wanted you.” His face felt as though it was on fire and it made Ciel realize that this was the first time he had ever told someone how he felt about them. Sebastian was the first person he had felt this strongly for. 

There had been others, but none of them sparked the same feelings that Sebastian did. Sure there had been lust and longing, like which Ciel felt for Claude, but what he felt for Sebastian was something different. It was deeper, purer, and (). Ciel couldn’t exactly put his finger on it but it was a warm feeling that spread throughout his body and only seemed to grow whenever Sebastian was around. 

He looked up at Sebastian, looking at the man’s face to judge his reaction but it was blank, as though Sebastian was scared to give away any emotions. Instead, a piece of paper was held out for Ciel and he reached forward to take it. And what does all that mean for us now?’

The question made Ciel pause because even he didn’t know the answer to it. It was one he had debated about long and hard last night. Was he ready and willing to take that extra step to date Sebastian? Even though he didn’t want to admit it, Ciel knew that there was the smallest hint of doubt and worry in his mind over that idea.

There was still a small part of him that wanted Claude over Sebastian. Claude was everything that Sebastian wasn’t and it was hard to turn that down when the other choice was someone with only a good personality. But Sebastian…Sebastian…

“I don’t want to date you…yet,” Ciel said finally and gripped the pillow tighter. “And not because I don’t want to but because I want to know you more. I want to show you have I feel. I know I’ll make mistakes along the way and I’m not at all perfect, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t try. I…I can’t stop thinking about you,” he finished with a whisper.

Sebastian was always at the forefront of his mind now and even once, had been the subject of a () dream. It had been hard to look at Sebastian after that but it did leave Ciel wondering what Sebastian looked like under the baggy clothes he wore. The image of a thin, lanky body came to mind and it wasn’t horrible looking. 

Paper crinkled and Ciel looked up as Sebastian held out the notepad for him. He accepted it silently and read over the words, heart pounding in his throat. ‘I want to know more about you too but I do not wish to rush into a relationship when there is a chance that either of us could become hurt in the end.’

Ciel nodded as he passed the paper back to Sebastian. It wasn’t a solid yes or no answer, and they would both walk away from either as nothing more than friends at the end of the day. But there was a chance that it could evolve into something else. That spark had been sewn and with time, could blossom into something bigger, that much Ciel was certain of.

He shifted closer to Sebastian and leaned against the older male, wanting to be close to Sebastian for the time. Ciel had spent half the night worrying about the situation at hand. But now that everything seemed to be settled and they were at an understanding, Ciel could feel the exhaustion settling in his body. 

“Tired,” Ciel murmured and pressed closer to Sebastian. Warmth passed between them and made Ciel’s eyes heavy but something nagged at his mind that kept him from falling asleep just yet. It made him turn in Sebastian’s grip and Ciel balanced on his knees as he looked down at Sebastian. “Can I kiss you again?” He asked, hands resting on Sebastian’s shoulders.

It was probably a dangerous idea, as each kiss only seemed to pull Ciel in closer until there was no hope of escaping Sebastian’s grasp. He was like a moth drawn to the fire that was Sebastian. His wings would become scorched and burned, but that was a price Ciel was willing to take and Ciel knew that Sebastian would catch him. Wouldn’t let him fall should his wings burn away. Instead, he would draw Ciel close and breathe life back into him; breathe fire into him until they were the same and Ciel wouldn’t be burnt again.

He could see the hesitation in Sebastian’s eyes but it warred with the emotions that drove Sebastian forward and Ciel could see that the hesitation was slowly fading away. It was replaced instead with a deep longing to share those feelings with Ciel and soft hands reached up to cup Ciel’s face.

A sigh left Ciel’s mouth at the touch and he lowered his head, lips meeting Sebastian’s mouth as they pressed closer together. The action made Ciel’s breath hitch and his body tingled at the touch. Every thought and doubt about whether it was a bad idea to fall for Sebastian left Ciel’s mind as they broke apart before their lips were once again connected.

Because right here in Sebastian’s arms, everything felt right and Ciel found that he couldn’t bring himself to tear away from the arms that held him so tenderly.

\-----------

The computer hummed softly in the background as Sebastian relaxed in the chair, his body molded to the plush piece of furniture. A low tune was on his lips while his fingers twitched in time to the beat that played through his head. His eyes were closed while the computer continued to run in the background, backing up videos and pictures to a secure site in the event that the servers crashed.

At the front of his office, the door opened and closed gently, admitting the one person who didn’t need to knock and Sebastian didn’t bother opening his eyes. “You could be an assassin you know,” he said, lips twitching in a smile. “You walk softly enough for it and if the door didn’t give you away, I would never hear you coming.”

“Then you would be dead right now,” The Undertaker answered. “Or I would’ve knocked you out and you would have woken to find yourself tied to my bed.”

Sebastian chuckled. “Kinky, I like that. Remind me that we should use that for our next shoot, I rather like the idea.” He opened his eyes and looked at the man, noting that he was wearing nothing but a soft gray robe. “Did you just finish your shoot?” He asked.

The older male nodded. “We’re all done with that set and its being taken down as we speak. All that’s left are three more stories and then we can start editing. This season is almost done and then a break; you promised me that you would take a month off to catch up on sleep and take better care of yourself.”

“I know,” Sebastian answered. “Once the products are finished and in stores, we’ll take a month or two off. That way everyone has enough time to travel and enjoy the rest of summer before we start work again. We can afford the time off.”

“And the brat?” The Undertaker asked. “You had been planning this break since before all this happened. What happens when you--?” He was cut off as Sebastian hissed lowly under his breath and spun around in his chair, looking at the computer. “You don’t know what to do anymore, do you?” He questioned softly.

Sebastian shook his head. “No. It’s grown complicated.”

The Undertaker approached the desk and pressed his hands flat against the surface. “You agreed to do this, Sebastian and I will not sit by and watch you back out because of Ciel. You’re hurting yourself by staying under Claude’s thumb and if you don’t get away from his grip, he will break you in time. Maybe not next week or next month, but it will come and you might not be able to recover after that.”

A knock on the door cut off anything Sebastian had to say and they both turned to look at the entrance as William entered the room, Ciel in tow. “I found a rat,” William stated, pushing Ciel into the room.

“We’ll continue this discussion once I’m done here,” Sebastian murmured and watched as The Undertaker scowled, clearly not happy with the situation. The older male moved to the door and vanished through the opening along with Will, the door slamming shut behind him.

Ciel shifted awkwardly in the middle of the room. “He sounded mad,” he stated.

Sebastian stood up and circled around the desk. “We’re just debating something, that’s all. But I see that once again you failed to reach the top by yourself.” He reached out to stroke Ciel’s cheek and was surprised when the younger male jerked slightly. “Have I done something to offend you with my touch?” He asked.

“No, it’s just…can we talk?” Ciel’s head lowered and Sebastian watched him curiously. “I actually came by today to say goodbye, I think.”

An eyebrow arched. “You think? Did I do something wrong?”

Ciel quickly shook his head. “No! You didn’t do anything wrong at all. You still have an arousing voice and I long for your touch, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re just that. A voice and a touch that I can’t see.” A hint of red appeared on Ciel’s cheek. “What we had was simply just a deal and I know you can’t offer me more than pleasure. You can’t offer me the relationship I want. We wouldn’t be able to go out to the movies or dinner, or anything else that I want. But someone else can.”

Sebastian cocked his head. “Oh?”

“I…I realized that there was someone else who could do all those things with me and even though it sounds really cheesy, it just feels right being with him.” The red grew brighter and Sebastian smirked at the sight. “I know Sebastian can’t talk and he doesn’t look like a movie star, but I think I’m fine with that. How many people look like that anyway? But what he does offer me is what no one else has before. I feel happy with him and I just…want to be with him, want to know more about him.”

Sebastian blinked at the words and felt his fingers and toes tingle. His body was numb at the confession and for a moment, Sebastian felt as though he couldn’t breathe. They were words that Sebastian had longed to hear for who knew how long and now they were falling from Ciel’s mouth, open and honest.

The hope that had been dimmed had slowly grown in the past few weeks since they started spending time together. But now that flickering spark grew into a roaring fire that promised to burn Sebastian if he drifted too close. Ciel could easily change his mind or he could be playing a cruel game, keeping his true intentions buried deep. 

If that was the case, then Sebastian would be devoured by the flames and he would find himself burned. But if Ciel was being honest in his desires and truly meant what he said, than that fire would be manageable and it would warm him instead of harm. And Sebastian was willing to take that chance. 

“That’s honorable of you,” Sebastian finally said. “And very mature, something I can respect. I’m pleased to see that you’ve decided to look past everything.”

“I have you to thank for that. I wouldn’t have known this side of Sebastian if it wasn’t for you and for that I’m glad. It’s hard to think that I went this whole time without knowing Sebastian.” Ciel shook his head. “He was right under my nose and I never once realized it until now.”

Sebastian nodded and stood before Ciel. The urge to remove the blindfold was tempting. Tear it off now and let Ciel see exactly who he was talking to but that would be rash. Sebastian needed to think everything through before taking a step like that. As it stood now, he could let Ciel walk away and the younger male would never have to know about this. Never have to know that Sebastian had been Master the whole time.

It was tempting, but at the same time, the victory would taste like ash in his mouth. If things progressed further, Ciel would find out eventually. He would get curious as to what he did and while Sebastian could lie and say that he was just part of the film crew for DIE as Ciel believed, he wouldn’t gain much from that.

Because Sebastian wanted to talk with Ciel, normally, as he was doing now. Damn Claude and his rules to hell. His brother had caused him enough stress and pain to last a lifetime. 

“In two days, we finish with the shooting of this season,” Sebastian said suddenly, the words leaving his mouth before he could stop them. “Come back then and I’ll give you a proper goodbye gift. No touching or anything to make you feel guilty. But something that I think you would enjoy regardless.”

Ciel looked unsure as Sebastian guided him to the door and opened it. “I don’t want to do anything that would hurt him again,” Ciel said as they moved into the hallway.

Sebastian shook his head. “I understand and I’m a man of my word when I say that I will not touch you or do anything () with you. Have I given you any reason to doubt me before?” Ciel shook his head and Sebastian passed him off to Will who was waiting patiently. “You will find that this will work in your favor. I hope to see you in a few days, Ciel.”

He stepped back into his office as Ciel was led away. The doors were almost shut when The Undertaker pushed through and Sebastian looked at him. “Where you listening by the door that whole time?” He asked.

The Undertaker waved the question away. “I heard what he said, and while I find it sweet and touching, I have reason to doubt his intentions are true. I few months of good deeds and attention don’t change how he was in the past.”

Crimson eyes darted up to look at the older male. “He said that he wanted to know more about me and that in time, hoped we could start dating,” he said quietly, trying hard to keep the hope from leaking out into his words but they escaped regardless. “Me. Not Claude or anyone else, but me. I know there’s a chance he could be lying but there’s also a chance he’s not.”

The older male sucked in a deep breath. “What are you thinking, Sebastian? Something is running through your mind and I know I’m not going to like it.”

“I want to tell him,” Sebastian said, the words drawing a groan from The Undertaker. “I want to tell him who I really am. He deserves to know the truth and this way there would be nothing to hide from him.”

“It’s a bad idea, Sebastian. What if he gets mad at you, because of the deal between you two, and decides to blow your cover?” Sebastian moved to the desk and The Undertaker followed him, still talking. “You knew who he was when you suggested the deal and he’s going to believe that you were using him, forcing him to fall for you. He’s going to think that he was used.”

Sebastian winced. “I know. But hiding it from him until he finds out on his own is even worse. I have to tell him if I want to continue things with him.”

The Undertaker sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. “You’re playing a dangerous game, Sebastian. At least tell him before the break and before everything else we talked about earlier. Either way, we’ll still go through with the plan, as you promised me. If he’s fine with it, then you can tell him everything else. If he’s not and things turn bad for you, then you still have the plan to fall back on.”

Nodding, Sebastian turned to the computer where small thumbnails of his sessions with Ciel sat on the desktop. He had been planning to burn them to a DVD so he could give Ciel a way to remember their sessions once everything was said and done. But now there was a chance that Sebastian would have Ciel and the DVD’s would be unneeded. 

Sebastian could only hope that in the end, everything would turn out for the better.


	10. Chapter 10

10.

The soft murmur of the lunch crowd met Ciel’s ears as he followed the hostess through the restaurant to a private room in the back. After avoiding Claude for weeks, the man had found a sure fire way to get Ciel’s attention. Early that morning, Vincent had called to tell Ciel that Claude wanted to have lunch with him since they had barely seen each other.

His father had said that the lunch would be a good way to strength the relationship they had with Claude and had left Ciel with little choice but to agree. A quick message had been sent to Sebastian after the conversation and Sebastian had reassured him that he didn’t have a problem with Ciel having lunch with his brother. 

They were supposed to have another cooking lesson today, where Sebastian was going to teach him how to make lasagna, but it seemed as though that would have to wait. A part of Ciel wondered if he could cut the lunch short and at least salvage the rest of the afternoon with Sebastian before he went to see DIE’s owner tonight.

“In here, Sir,” a soft voice said, drawing Ciel’s attention from his thoughts to the meeting that was waiting for him. 

He thanked the hostess and stepped inside the room, letting the door shut behind him to give them privacy. Claude was already sipping on his drink and the man smiled at him as he approached the table.

“It’s been a while, Ciel,” Claude spoke, leaning forward and looking at him sincerely. “I hope you didn’t think I was mad at you after the last shoot. We haven’t talked since then and I know that I wasn’t in the best of moods that day, but I wasn’t upset at you.”

Ciel shook his head. “I know, you were mad at Sebastian, am I correct?” He asked as he took a seat. The napkin was placed in his lap and spread out carefully. They were at an upscale restaurant and it wouldn’t do to drip on his pants. 

Claude nodded. “You know that we’re not on the best of terms with each other, but lately we’ve been at each other throats more often than usual. He’s been really rebellious as of late and he needs to remember that he’s not supposed to be seen or heard.”

“Why?” Ciel asked curiously. He had been waiting for a while to ask Claude these questions about Sebastian and now was his chance. “Why is it such a big deal that he’s not seen or heard? He’s mute, so it’s not as though he can make a big fuss.” The words sounded harsh but if Claude believed that Ciel was showing sympathy to Sebastian, than Ciel would never find out the truth.

The older male looked awkward and he sipped at his drink before clearing his throat. “There’s a long story behind that,” he said quietly. “You would never believe me if I told you that we were the best of friends growing up.”

Ciel stared at Claude, slightly surprised at the words. He had suspected that there had been a time when Claude and Sebastian had been close, but to hear the man admit it was something Ciel hadn’t expected. “We have all of the lunch rush,” he prompted. Looking at Claude, it looked as though the older male wanted to tell the story; as though it was something he had been keeping from the world for years.

“After our father killed himself, Sebastian and I only had each other. I didn’t want to be separated from him when we went to the orphanage and neither of us wanted to be adopted separately,” Claude started. “Everyone wanted Sebastian because he was so young. People only look to adopt young and the older you are, the harder it is to be adopted. But Sebastian refused to go unless I was with him.”

Claude grunted and adjusted his glasses. “A year after we were there, I needed glasses. I hated them because I thought they made me look unattractive, not at all like Sebastian. Everyone said he looked like an angel and I was always jealous that he got our mothers looks. But Sebastian told me that he thought the glasses made me look cool and started to wear fake, plastic ones so he could be cool too.”

Ciel chuckled at the words and could picture a small Sebastian running around trying to look cool in fake glasses. It was a rather endearing thought and Ciel wondered if he could tease Sebastian with that information.

“Then Tanaka came by and our lives changed forever after that,” Claude said, pushing the breadbasket around on the table. “He adopted both of us and took us into his home. Sebastian was four and I was nine at the time. Tanaka could never replace my father but Sebastian loved that man and was always with him.”

Ciel hummed and picked up his menu so he could order something soon. “Around that time you would’ve been starting school,” he stated. “Sebastian would’ve stayed at home with him while you were at school.”

Claude nodded. “Tanaka worked at home, doing something. I never bothered to ask and I didn’t care at the time. I had my own friends at school and that was the only thing on my mind. There’s a five year difference between Sebastian and I, and once we were adopted, I wasn’t exactly the best of brothers to him.” A small wince crossed Claude’s face. “We had been adopted together so there was no point in worrying about that anymore, so I tried to rebuild my life and make new friends. Sebastian was easily forgotten at times.”

The older male paused as the waitress came into the room and took their orders before filling their glasses with water. The breadbasket was replaced on the table and she vanished once more, leaving Ciel to wait patiently for Claude to continue.

“It wasn’t until Sebastian started school that we ran into problems. Sebastian was smart and skipped a grade, which led to teasing when he was nine. I defended him and the end result was that my friends taunted me for being such a good brother, especially to someone who killed my parents,” Claude took a shuddering breath. “It was after that, that we started to drift apart. I stopped defending Sebastian and would instead tease him about being so smart.”

Claude flicked the glass that sat before him and it made a soft dinging noise in the silence of the room. “I was the rebel child and Sebastian was the good, smart child. Teachers hated me and they loved Sebastian. I spent more time with my friends and Sebastian spent more time with Tanaka, doing whatever it was with his job.”

The door opened and Claude fell silent as the waitress brought in their meals, placing the plates before them. They thanked her as she left and Ciel poked at his meal, wanting to hear more. “That sounds like normal brother behavior, I think,” Ciel finally said and took a bite of his roast. “You didn’t want to be teased for standing up for Sebastian and you were jealous of all the positive attention he received.”

A hand was waved and Claude brushed the comment aside. “That’s only a small part and I really wasn’t all that jealous of how smart he was. I noticed how much he was teased for it and that was something I didn’t want. Sometimes I was jealous, but I had more fun getting into trouble and playing around than anything.” He looked at Ciel. “Plus, I wanted to be a famous singer.”

Ciel smirked at the words and gestured for Claude to continue as he took another bite of his lunch.

“I told you before that Sebastian has our mothers looks but you would never know it if you looked at him now,” Claude said and looked down at his plate. “When I was twenty-one, there was a scouting group in our town that was looking for new talent. Sebastian and I went because if there was one thing we shared, it was our looks and our voice. We could both sing, Sebastian more than me.”

Ciel choked slightly on the carrot in his mouth and he quickly grabbed his glass, swallowing a mouthful of water. Thumping his chest, Ciel looked at Claude. “Sebastian could sing?” He asked. 

Claude nodded. “We both tried out, a friendly competition between brothers to see who the best was and in the end, Sebastian won. They said that he had the looks and the voice they were looking for. Offered him a chance to be a famous.” The older male looked away sounding bitter. “He turned it down, saying that he didn’t want to be famous in the limelight and that he already knew what he wanted to be. At sixteen, his life could’ve been served on a silver platter and he turned it all down.”

Ciel watched as Claude jabbed his steak with his fork and looked annoyed as he chewed. The sight would’ve humorous if Ciel hadn’t been burning with more questions. He could barely keep himself from asking them, knowing that he had to let Claude tell the story as he saw fit. It was obviously one that wasn’t told often and it seemed as though Claude had been keeping all this to himself for many years.

“After that, I didn’t speak to Sebastian much. He left for college a few years later and I kept trying to get the attention of a recording company,” Claude said finally. “Around that time, Tanaka passed away when Sebastian was eighteen and he was upset when the man died. He carried on though and life continues. It was around that time that your father noticed me and offered me a job at the company while I improved my skill.”

A small hum left Ciel’s mouth. He knew that it had taken a few years before Claude had become famous and Vincent had Claude singing at smaller venues in order to get experience. It had been a shot in the dark but his father had been willing to take it and it had paid off handsomely.

Claude pushed his salad bowl to the side and took a drink before continuing again. “Sebastian came with me to one of my venues and sat with one of the producers’ who was there to watch me. When I came back from my performance, Sebastian was gone and the producer said that Sebastian had a wonderful voice and the perfect body for fame. I snapped after that.”

The glass paused halfway to Ciel’s mouth and he looked at Claude. “What do you mean?” He asked.

“I went to see Sebastian after that and we fought. First, it was verbal where I yelled at him for stealing the attention that should’ve been mine and he told me that he had turned the offer down. He said that he left so the producer could focus on me and that he didn’t want the fame.” Claude looked down at his plate. “I didn’t believe him and punched him in the face. We started throwing punches and it turned violent after that. Furniture was broken and clothes were ruined but I finally pinned Sebastian to the ground.”

Ciel’s heart started to race as Claude fell silent and he had a feeling that whatever Claude had to say next was going to be the reason for Sebastian’s actions and the rift that had formed between the brothers. And there was a growing sense that Ciel wasn’t going to like what Claude had to say.

Claude looked down at his lap. “My hands found their way around Sebastian’s neck, pushing against it and tightening around his throat until Sebastian was gasping at me. But at the time I didn’t hear him gasping for breath. I was too busy screaming at him that everything bad in my life was his fault. Our parent’s death, the reason the scouts didn’t pick me when we were younger, and for taking away the limelight when it should’ve been mine.” 

Slowly, Claude’s hands came up and he tugged lightly at his hair as he closed his eyes. “By the time I finished yelling at him, Sebastian was convulsing under me and fighting for breath. I can still hear that rattling breath sometimes. I pulled back and stood over him while he coughed and dry heaved as he tried to breathe again. I didn’t feel any remorse at the time, the only thing I could think about was what Sebastian had almost taken away from me.”

Ciel’s grip on his fork was tight and his hand ached from the action but he couldn’t make himself loosen his grip. He was shaking in his chair and found that it was hard to breathe, as though it was Claude who was choking him. He didn’t know whether to feel angry with the man or a sense of pity.

“After that, I hauled him to his feet while he was still struggling for breath and told him that from then on, he was to be a shadow. No one was supposed to see or hear him. He would never threaten my spotlight ever again,” Claude almost whispered. “And the only way for that to happen was if he didn’t talk and if he looked unattractive. No one would give him a passing glance if that was the case.”

Guilt was present in Claude’s eyes and Ciel wondered how long Claude had been keeping this a secret. Now that Ciel knew, everything seemed to make sense and Ciel felt like kicking himself for not seeing it earlier. The way Claude would tense up whenever Sebastian drew too much attention and the way he had acted so violent the day Sebastian had showed up with clean hair.

Claude had tried to convince him multiple times that Sebastian was nothing more than wasted space and that nothing Ciel did would help Sebastian look better. He had practically pleaded with him, begging Ciel to say that he was more attractive than Sebastian was. It was almost laughable how insecure Claude was underneath it all, that he had to resort to such a degree but the cold truth was there before Ciel.

And while it seemed that Claude felt a small amount of guilt, he still hadn’t bothered to fix anything between Sebastian and him. Because his plan had worked, really well. Sebastian didn’t speak and dressed in such a fashion that no one looked at him. But Sebastian was suffering because of Claude and no one knew. No one had bothered to ask or find out the truth. No one cared.

“How long ago was that?” Ciel asked hesitantly.

“Four years,” Claude answered, the guilt in his eyes flickering in and out of view. “Sebastian was only nineteen.”

Ciel swallowed, trying to wrap his mind around the situation. Sebastian had been silent for four years and had been suffering for that long. It was hard to believe though that Sebastian would willingly subject himself to such a harsh punishment unless there was a type of threat behind Claude’s words. “I don’t imagine that he took that too well,” he said carefully.

Claude shook his head. “He didn’t. He yelled at me after that, his voice hoarse and raspy, that there was no way he would do something like that, even though I was his brother. That he would rather die than bend to my rules.” He took off his glasses and ran a hand over his face. “I told him that I wouldn’t leave him a choice and that in the end, he would have to bow to me.”

“What did you do?” Ciel asked.

“Tanaka left us both a large amount of money after his death,” Claude said. “But there was a clause in there that we couldn’t touch it until we were twenty-three I think. I was already at the proper age when Tanaka died so it didn’t bother me, but Sebastian still had a few more years to go. He had scholarships for college and a part time job that helped pay for living expenses. That job was the only thing keeping him afloat and I threatened to take it away by any means necessary”

The remaining food was pushed around on the plate and Claude’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. “I threatened to tell his employer that he did drugs and was a thief, and that I could easily plant evidence to prove so. That I would ruin his college career and make him lose his scholarships. I would ruin his life. In the face of that, Sebastian had no choice but to listen to me.” His glasses were placed back on his face. “When he graduated college, I had my big break but I had to make sure that Sebastian was still keeping to my rules, so I made him work for your father so I could keep an eye on him.”

Ciel’s stomach churned at the words and he found that he didn’t know what to think of the whole situation. Sebastian was tethered to Claude against his will and there was no way for him to leave. If Sebastian so much as put one toe out of line, Claude had the power to ruin Sebastian’s life. Claude had the power and influence now, while Sebastian had nothing.

“Can Sebastian still talk?” Ciel asked finally. The words felt thick in his throat and it was hard to speak.

Claude shrugged. “I’m not sure. It’s been so long since I heard him and I don’t know how much I damaged his vocal cords that night of our fight. He’s probably forgotten how to speak by now, since he knows he can’t talk.”

Ciel gripped the edge of the table tightly. He wanted to ask if Claude was bothered at all by his actions in the past but he held his tongue at the last moment. As much as he wanted to shout at Claude that what he did was unfair and cruel, he had to stay silent. If Claude knew that Ciel was getting closer to Sebastian, then it would be Sebastian who paid the price. And that was the last thing Ciel wanted.

“But all that is in the past. He’s adjusted well and there’s no need for concern,” Claude said, brushing aside the story as though it wasn’t a big deal. It was his way of coping with the situation and the less he had to think about it, the better. It kept the guilt away that way. “Have you figured out what Sebastian does during his days off? It’s been a while since we started this deal and nothing has turned up so far.”

Ciel opened his mouth and then closed it as he tried to think of a logical answer. He didn’t want to come out and say that he thought Sebastian worked with DIE. Claude would go ballistic if he found out that his brother was working at such a successful company right under his nose. “I gave up for the most part,” Ciel answered. “He doesn’t leave his apartment during the day and I’m certain he lives on the bare minimum. He goes to the library every now and then, along with some other free places but other than that, nothing.”

Claude made a soft noise of annoyance. “We had a deal though, Ciel,” he purred and stood up slowly. Ciel tracked his movements with his eyes and stayed still in his seat as Claude circled around the table. “You would tell me what Sebastian does during the day, and I know he does something. Otherwise he wouldn’t be able to afford to live in his apartment and pay the bills. And in exchange, I would give you pleasure beyond your wildest dreams.”

“I know,” Ciel whispered as a hot mouth trailed down his neck. He found himself holding his breath as Claude nipped at his earlobe and unbidden, a spark of arousal raced through Ciel’s body. It had been so long since Ciel had felt Claude’s touch and he found that it was a touch he still yearned for. He had lusted after Claude for years and now the man was offering what he had wanted for so long.

“Are you saying you don’t want me anymore?” Claude murmured against his ear, breath tickling the sensitive nerves on Ciel’s body. “Or are you worried that I would leave you after our one night of pleasure is done? If that’s the case, I can tell you now that I have no plans on letting you go after I take you. You would be mine. I would spoil you every day with pleasure and so much more.”

Ciel trembled harshly in his chair at the words. Lips pressed against his temple and a hand trailed down his body, lightly palming his twitching cock, making him whimper. His mind screamed that it was wrong, that Ciel needed to stop Claude before things grew out of hand and that in doing this; Ciel was being unfair to Sebastian. 

He had turned down Master’s offer the other night for that very same reason; that it wasn’t fair for Sebastian. But Master was just a voice, where Claude was real. He was oh so real. And Ciel had wanted him for much longer than Sebastian.

A whine left his mouth as Claude pulled away, leaving Ciel’s mind to work through the haze that it was in. As it did, guilt crashed around Ciel and he struggled with the confusion that had suddenly engulfed him. He couldn’t deny that Claude’s touch felt wonderful and made him yearn for more. It was something that Ciel had always wanted and even though he was closer with Sebastian, those feelings for Claude never truly went away.

They were just hidden for the past few weeks but now that he was with Claude again, those feelings came racing back. Was it a bad thing to be torn between Claude and Sebastian? It didn’t help that Claude was everything that Sebastian wasn’t, and even though Ciel had said that it didn’t bother him, he couldn’t deny that he still wanted those features in a person.

“I know it’s a lot to take in, Ciel,” Claude said, his voice growing husky as he placed his hands on Ciel’s shoulders. “But I am serious about being in a relationship with you if you prove to me that you want it. I can offer you so much. More than anyone else.”

“I…I…” Ciel stammered. “Business! This is a business meeting and we’re not exactly talking business right now,” he gasped, pleased at how he was able to change subjects properly.

Claude chuckled at him. “Business huh? Then tell me what you think about my new song I’ve been working on.”

Ciel’s body stiffened as Claude’s mouth hovered next to his ear and he started to sing softly. The words flowed over his body, deep and rich. Even without the accompaniment of music, the simple song was enough to make Ciel’s eyes fall shut and he allowed himself to listen as the words surrounded him.

When Claude pulled away, Ciel’s eyes fluttered open and he watched as Claude circled back around the table before taking a seat across from him. “How was that for business?” He asked, looking smug.

“I…I should go,” Ciel said and moved to stand up. His legs were shaking and he felt as though they wouldn’t support him but somehow, Ciel was able to make it to the door. “Thank you for lunch,” he said, opening the door. He needed to get away before Claude tore down all the bridges Ciel had crossed in order to reach Sebastian.

Claude’s smirk grew wider. “It was a pleasure, Ciel. And remember what I told you, I promise you won’t regret it.” He purred.

Ciel stiffened at the words and tone, finding them oddly familiar to what Master had uttered a few nights ago. He glanced at Claude, noting the smug smirk and for a moment, the thought of ‘what if’ crossed his mind. His heart raced faster and Ciel tried to push the thoughts from his mind, but a stray thought remained regardless.

He gave a small nod to Claude before rushing out of the room and into the hallway. It didn’t take him long before he was outside of the restaurant, walking blindly down the sidewalk towards his car. Once inside, he collapsed on the seat and slumped against the steering wheel. Just when Ciel thought he had everything in order, something new came along and destroyed that order he had worked so hard to build.

He knew he shouldn’t feel anything for Claude, especially after hearing everything Claude had done to Sebastian. That alone should’ve been enough for Ciel to hate him. But it wasn’t. There was still a part of him that lusted strongly for Claude. It was hard to toss aside a two year or more crush within the span of a few months. It wasn’t possible.

Because the cold hard truth was that a small part of Ciel still wanted Claude, despite how happy he was with Sebastian. Claude was everything that Sebastian wasn’t and it made Ciel want him. It was wrong in so many ways and Ciel hated himself for it, but he couldn’t stop the feelings. 

“Why?” He murmured against the hot leather. “Why didn’t these feelings go away?” He had spent weeks realizing that looks didn’t matter and all it took was one meeting with Claude to make him question himself.

Blue eyes opened and Ciel stared down at his dashboard. Claude would be able to give him everything, he had promised that; had said that. But Sebastian would be able to give everything else. Whereas Claude would only give physical things, Sebastian would give the thing that Ciel wanted the most; emotion. 

Ciel sat up straighter in his seat. “You cannot buy me, Claude,” he said aloud, the words reassuring him. “You will not buy me.”

He started the car and it purred to life under him before backing out of the parking lot. The words had been spoken and he believed them, but it didn’t mean that the old feelings were gone. They still lurked beneath the surface, waiting for the right time to attack. But Ciel hoped that in time, they would eventually leave him alone.

\---------

It was late at night as Ciel made his way through the building. It was clear to see that DIE was wrapping everything up as most of the sets were gone and only one remained. They were still using it to film a scene but Ciel didn’t bother to stay around to watch. He was tired and had a headache that had started out a dull ache after leaving the restaurant and had now changed into a throbbing headache. 

But he told DIE’s boss that he would be here tonight and Ciel wasn’t about to pass up this last chance. He was curious as to what the man was going to give him and trusted that Master would keep to his word. Rounding a corner, Ciel made his way up the steps only to find The Undertaker waiting for him, blindfold in hand.

“Somehow I thought I would run into you,” Ciel stated. “I had hoped that after all this, we wouldn’t need the blindfold for my last day with him.”

The Undertaker snorted. “I wish I could share your opinion,” the man stated and reached forward, wrapping the blindfold around his eyes. Once secured, a hand wrapped around his arm. “Let’s go see him and get this over with.”

“Don’t sound so enthused,” Ciel commented as they made their way up the steps. He stumbled a few times until they reached the top floor and he was able to walk on flat ground once more. The door to the office swung open, squeaky on the hinges before the hand on his arm vanished and the door shut behind him.

Muffled footsteps met Ciel’s ears and he could feel Master approaching. The male stopped before him and Ciel could feel him just inches in front of him. “You came after all,” Master murmured.

Ciel nodded. “One last chance to say goodbye. I’ll miss you and our sessions, but I feel that this is the best choice for me and I hope you understand.”

“I understand,” the man answered. “And I respect it. I simply called you here so I could you a final gift and finally tell you who I am.”

Ciel’s breath caught and his fingers twitched. “I think it would be better if I didn’t know that,” he said. “It makes it easier for me to walk away without any regrets.”

A low hum left the man’s mouth. “What if I told you that I was someone you already knew?” He asked, circling around Ciel. “That you’ve known me for a while now. That I’ve yearned for you and when you fell into my lap, I couldn’t let you go. At the time I knew that making the deal with you was a bad idea, but I couldn’t stop myself.”

Heart racing, Ciel reached out for the older male and gasped slightly when his hand was caught. A soft kiss was placed to the tips of his fingers and Ciel trembled at the gentle touch. “We know each other?” He repeated and unbidden, Claude’s face flashed through his mind and the conversation from earlier that day drifted back. “How well?”

“Very well,” came the answer and fingers trailed across his shoulder, coming up to brush against the exposed skin of his neck. Ciel tilted his head to the side slightly, the familiar touches making him relax. Hands settled on Ciel’s shoulders and teeth nibbled lightly at Ciel’s earlobe. “But the me you see out there is very different from the one with you now.”

“I can tell,” Ciel breathed while making sure that Master’s hands didn’t drift any further than their spot on his shoulders now. He was willing to let the man tease his neck and ear, but that was it. Anything else and Ciel would push away. “So who are you?”

Soft fingers brushed against the back of Ciel’s neck and he shivered slightly, find the actions very similar to how Claude had treated him earlier that day. And now that Ciel listened more, he could hear a familiar tone hidden under the smooth voice. It was deeper than how Claude sounded whenever they talked but seeing as Claude was a singer, Ciel had no doubt that the man could pitch his voice differently if he wanted.

Small tremors raced through his body at the thought. Had Master been Claude this whole time? No, because Master had been upset when Ciel had yelled at Sebastian and if it was Claude, then he wouldn’t have cared. Or would he? What if Claude put on a fake front when they were in the public eye to uphold his image but in reality, truly cared about his brother?

Hope blossomed in Ciel’s chest and he found a small smile slipping across his face as a tiny part of him clung to that idea. He knew that Claude wasn’t as cruel as he was made out to be. 

Hot breath fanned across his ear, making Ciel groan lowly. It had to be Claude. Master was mimicking everything that had happened at the restaurant today. “Wait,” he gasped out, making the figure behind him freeze. There was something he had to know first before Ciel could say for sure that Master was Claude. “Will you sing to me? I just, I want to test something.”

There was a moment’s hesitation behind him that only helped to increase the idea that it was indeed Claude. He knew it was wrong and that Ciel should be leaving; this was more than he bargained for when he agreed to come. It wasn’t fair to Sebastian, was what he told himself a few nights ago and in the car this afternoon. 

But with the thought that Master might be Claude, Sebastian was far from Ciel’s mind. He knew it was wrong and the last remaining parts of logic tried to remind him of that, but the way the man was pressed up against him had all those logical thoughts vanishing from his mind. 

Softly, the older male behind him started to sing, the tone deep, rich, and smooth. It wrapped around Ciel in a way that Claude’s words had never done before and in them. It was different from Claude’s normal style but there was still something familiar about it and Ciel forced himself to believe that those differences weren’t that big. 

The melody seemed to caress him, pulling Ciel deeper into the song until it surrounded him and only one person was on Ciel’s mind. Because only one person could sing that way. And even though it was wrong, Ciel couldn’t stop the thoughts, couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes and pressing back into the figure behind him, submitting to the older male.

It was wrong in so many ways and a tiny part of Ciel was disgusted with how he was acting after everything. He was happy with Sebastian, wasn’t he? So why did he need this? Why was he being turned on by Claude when he had…what was his name? Sebastian. A soft voice whispered in his mind, prompting him to remember but it was easily forgotten as lips brushed against his cheek, still singing as they moved.

They trailed back up to his ear, hot breath tickling the sensitive nerves there until at last, Ciel couldn’t take it anymore. It had been hard enough to leave Master, knowing that he would be giving up that deep, husky voice for someone who was mute. And now, picturing that voice with Claude’s body was enough to make Ciel regret that choice.

He moaned as fingers trailed up the back of his head, brushing lightly against the blindfold and Ciel tipped his head back to look at the spot where he knew Claude’s face would be when the blindfold was undone. He wanted to see those golden eyes and familiar face right away. Nails scratched over his scalp and Ciel’s mouth opened, a single name falling past his lips in a whimper.

“Claude.”

\----------

Fingers jerked away from Ciel’s head as though the soft cloth had burned them. They trembled as they pulled away from Ciel and Sebastian felt as though he had just been dropped into ice water. His body was numb and his heart pounded painfully against his chest. Why did that name have to leave Ciel’s mouth? Anyone else and it would’ve been fine, but why Claude? Why the person that Ciel had lusted after?

The whole time, a small part of Sebastian had been slightly on edge with how Ciel had been reacting to his touch and a pit had settled in his stomach even though Sebastian had done his best to ignore it. The mantra of ‘everything will be fine’ ran through his head as he pressed soft kisses to Ciel’s cheek before the younger male asked him to sing.

The request had caught him off guard but Sebastian agreed regardless. It had been a while since he sang to anyone after Claude had blackmailed him and to be able to sing to Ciel was something Sebastian had always wanted to do. To show that he was better than his brother. But now…now it seemed that after all this time, Ciel only had one person on his mind.

And that person wasn’t him.

Hands reached up and touched his face, making Sebastian jerk at their touch. He looked down at Ciel as thumbs brushed over his cheeks. “Was I right? Are you really Claude?” Ciel asked breathlessly, his voice excited for the chance that he might be right. And no doubt, if those blue eyes hadn’t been covered, Sebastian would be able to see longing swimming in those eyes. 

“I…” Sebastian started but found that the words wouldn’t come. Betrayal raced through him and Sebastian was helpless against the feeling. After all this time, Claude was still the one on Ciel’s mind. Sebastian had been pushed from the younger male’s thoughts without any regret.

“Claude,” Ciel moaned softly. 

The slap that sounded throughout the room was loud and Sebastian’s hand stung as a haze of red clouded his vision. His body had reacted before his mind could process what he was thinking and in his anger, he had lashed out at Ciel. “Don’t you ever, ever say that man’s name before me like that ever again,” he snarled, body trembling with fury. “If there is one person I can’t stand, it’s Claude Faustus. I am not him and I will never be him.”

“What?” Ciel rasped, sounding confused as he pressed a hand to his cheek. 

“That man ruined my life and I will not stand to have you utter his name in my presence.” He was shouting now and probably saying too much, but Sebastian couldn’t stop. For once, he thought that perhaps things would go his way and he could have a sliver of happiness but it seemed that Claude had taken even that from him. Ironic how Claude had always claimed that it was Sebastian who stole from him and now it was the other way around. Fucking hypocrite.

Ciel shook his head. “I don’t understand,” he gasped, trying to figure out how everything had changed on a dime.

Sebastian hissed lowly as hands stretched out to him, seemingly asking for answers and forgiveness, and he slapped them away before they could touch him. “William!” He called instead and the office doors opened, admitting Will and The Undertaker. “Escort Mr. Phantomhive off the grounds and make sure he doesn’t make it back tonight.”

“No!” Ciel shouted and struggled against the hands that grabbed him. “Let me explain, please!”

“Your actions and words have explained enough,” Sebastian growled as The Undertaker brushed past him. He was vaguely aware of the man fiddling with something behind him but discarded the actions. “This is goodbye, Ciel.”

Ciel shook his head as he was pulled from the room, shouting profanities at Will and The Undertaker chuckled lowly behind Sebastian. “I’ll just go see to it that he doesn’t try to come back.”

Sebastian grunted, his anger waving slightly as his emotions warred with each other. “You do that, I’ll be back in the morning to inspect that everything is gone. I have my own business to take care of right now. It’s time to break the collar that’s kept me chained down for so long.”

The Undertaker smirked. “Of course,” he purred and swept out of the room. He quickly located William and Ciel, it wasn’t hard and he held up his hand as he approached them. He reached for the bag Ciel had with him and slipped a square piece of plastic into the bag. “A little parting gift for you, to show you what you really lost tonight,” he said with a smirk.

Ciel jerked in Will’s arms and The Undertaker brought his arm back before shoving his fist into Ciel’s stomach. The younger male gagged and dry heaved for breath at the harsh action before blacking out from the pain.

“Been wanting to do that for a long time now,” he murmured and looked up at Will. “Take him home William. Let him find out the truth tomorrow and see what his foolish actions have cost him.”

Will nodded at him and carried the limp body outside. The Undertaker watched them go and crossed his arms over his chest, hoping that the damage Ciel had done wouldn’t be irreparable.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies again for the delay! Blame work for being sickening busy and just drowning me in a vat of exhaustion. Ugh. I hate being a responsible adult XD

11.

It was late morning when Ciel finally woke, his abdominal muscles protesting even the smallest of movements. It was the only proof that The Undertaker had indeed punched him last night and that it wasn’t a dream. The pain was too real and Ciel pressed his fingers against the sore area tenderly, wincing slightly. His mind was hazy and Ciel couldn’t remember how he made it home. His car was sitting innocently in the driveway and Ciel remembered waking up in it a few hours ago, but how he got there was still a blur. 

Ciel moaned and dropped his head back onto the pillow. It hurt to think and it hurt to move, but Ciel was a glutton for punishment. His mind raced, despite the pounding headache between his eyes and Ciel groaned softly. “Think,” he whispered and looked for his phone so he could check the time. 

It wasn’t in its normal spot and Ciel reached over the edge of the bed, fingers searching for it. They bumped into the coarse material of his bag and curled around it. Small trickles of a memory seeped back into his mind and his fingers tightened against the bag before he pulled it up onto the bed.

The bag was opened slowly and Ciel dug around for his phone before his fingers finally grasped it. It was pulled out of the bag, his knuckles bumping into something hard along the way. The phone was pulled out and set to the side before Ciel reached down again to grab the plastic thing in his bag.

It was light and thin, and Ciel’s eyebrows furrowed. He didn’t remember packing anything like this the night before. The words ‘a little parting gift for you, to show you what you really lost tonight’ filtered through his waking conscience and Ciel brought the object up for inspection, realizing that it was a DVD. 

His name was scrawled across it in messy handwriting and Ciel set it aside for later as he checked the messages on his phone. The DVD nagged on his mind the entire time, keeping Ciel from focusing until at last, he tossed the phone aside with a small scowl and picked up the DVD case once more. 

The more he looked at it, the more memories started to bubble and surface in his mind until Ciel’s eyes widened. Last night’s events came crashing back down around him with the force of a sledgehammer. His body grew numb as he remembered the anger in Master’s voice, the way the older male had struck him after calling him ‘Claude,’ and the words that had been shouted after that. 

A sour taste filled Ciel’s mouth and his eyes screwed shut as he remembered how he had acted last night. The way he had so willingly tossed aside Sebastian in his mind at the first belief that Master was Claude. How could he do something like that after everything Ciel had told himself that afternoon after his lunch with Claude?

There had been a hope there, a belief that Claude was different in the shadows than in the limelight and Ciel scoffed at himself. That didn’t make any sense at all. Claude would never abandon the light for the shadows. Even if DIE was famous, it was a hidden famous and Claude wanted to be known worldwide. 

Claude wouldn’t change; Ciel was foolish to believe that. However, he had believed it and it had led to dire consequences in the end when Ciel had called Master by Claude’s name. He had been blinded by desires that shouldn’t have been there anymore and Ciel felt guilt press down on his shoulders. Everything he had promised himself had been tossed away in one foolhardy risk, a risk that hadn’t paid off in the end. 

DIE’s boss was furious at him for that stunt and would never see him again. Perhaps the only good thing that had come from all this was that it had been a clean break. Ciel would never know who he was saying goodbye to by leaving Master and wouldn’t have any regrets that way. He had his regrets now at how he had acted but that was different. 

Still, Master’s words continued to ring in his head, claiming that Claude had ruined his life and they confused him. It seemed as though that was the third life Claude had ruined. First Sebastian’s, then Master’s, and now, Ciel’s. Questions burned in Ciel’s mind though and he wanted to know what had happened between Claude and Master, but now, Ciel was more than hesitant at seeing Claude again.

“Sebastian,” Ciel moaned softly and turned to look out the window. He was ashamed at his actions against Sebastian and the urge to call the man was strong. He grabbed his phone and sent a quick text to the older male, telling him good morning and that he was looking forward to seeing him this afternoon. After last night, Ciel just wanted to see the older male and never leave his side. Everything was clearer and better with Sebastian.

The phone was set to the side and Ciel sat up gingerly, wincing slightly at the movement. He moved over to the DVD player and popped the DVD into the slot. It spun inside the device as Ciel made his way back to the bed and sat down carefully. His curiosity was burning strongly and he wanted to know what The Undertaker had given him as farewell gift. The man’s words had been confusing but Ciel had a feeling that the gift would answer his questions.

He picked up the remote and pressed the play button, listening to the DVD whirl around inside the player as the screen grew dark. His heart raced and Ciel shifted to lean against his pillows, his eyes alert as the first hint of light appeared on the television. Muffled voices met Ciel’s ears and he easily recognized them as Master and The Undertaker.

The lens cap was removed from the camera, showing Ciel an office. Without prompting, Ciel knew it was the office he spent the past few months in during his sessions with Master. It was bigger than Ciel thought. 

A figure moved across the screen, dark and almost hidden from view. “You know, I still think this is a bad idea,” The Undertaker’s voice filtered over the speakers. “I don’t trust the brat, at all.”

“You’ve told me that several times today, Undertaker,” Master answered, his back to the camera. He was near the desk but Ciel still couldn’t get a good view of him.

“I tell you because you don’t listen. I’m older and more experienced in the world so I can tell you now that he won’t change. Even if you want him to,” the older male answered. “Your father started this company and ran it while raising you two. I’ve known you and watched you grow since you were twelve. I don’t want to see you hurt.”

Master shook his head and stepped away from the desk, holding a long, black blindfold. Painted nails ran over the fabric and Ciel cursed lowly. How could he forget that? Master had painted nails and Claude didn’t. Just another thing that separated them and that Ciel had ignored. “I trust him,” Master said and stepped further into the light, facing the doors so his back was to the camera. 

Ciel’s breath caught and he gripped the remote tighter in his hand. It couldn’t be, he told himself and shook his head quickly. Just because the man had the same hairstyle as Sebastian didn’t mean anything. Several people could style their hair that way. Besides, it was only a view of Master’s back and the chances of that being Sebastian was slim.

The Undertaker sighed on the screen. “Yes, I know you trust him. You trust him enough to let him back into your life after he hurt you countless times before and now you’re willing to tell him the biggest secret in your life. Some would call you nice and forgiving but I call you a sadist. Because you’re willingly setting yourself up for pain when he betrays you again.”

Swallowing harshly, Ciel found that his grip had tightened even more, to the point that the plastic was cracking slightly in his hand. It was set to the side and instead, Ciel grabbed a spare pillow from his bed. It was just a coincidence, nothing more. Ciel could’ve hurt someone several times in the past, it could be anyone.

Master chuckled. “Maybe I am. I’m sure that after spending so much time with you lot, your prevertedness has started to rub off on me.”

The statement made The Undertaker laugh loudly. “I beg to differ. If anything, you are the one who has rubbed off on us. You come up with the scripts and we simply follow your orders. Everything we act out comes strictly from your mind.” The man walked closer to Master, coming into view of the camera. 

Master turned to look at him as he approached and Ciel felt a scream bubble up in his chest as Master’s profile was revealed first and then his full facial features before The Undertaker took Master’s face into his hands. “Don’t say his name,” Ciel whispered despite the urge to scream. “Don’t say his fucking name!” If he didn’t know the name, then there was a chance that it wasn’t Sebastian.

“But we enjoy it, every last one of us. You have a brilliant mind, one that people could only dream of having and one that very few people know about,” The Undertaker continued. “I know several of us would kill to be in the position Ciel is in right now. The brat doesn’t know how lucky he is to have your attention, Sebastian.”

Ciel’s blood ran cold at the name that The Undertaker uttered and he shook his head quickly. “No,” he moaned, despair coating his words. “No, no, no, please no,” he begged. 

He had been denying the facts since he first saw the man’s face, and had further tried to pretend that it wasn’t Sebastian. But Ciel knew, he knew that the other person on the screen was Sebastian and now the evidence was stacked against him. There was no denying it now, The Undertaker had even said his name. 

Sebastian was the man behind DIE.

Sebastian was Master.

The knowledge came like a kick to the stomach to Ciel and he gasped for breath as The Undertaker vanished, leaving the room empty. The screen darkened for a moment before the office appeared once more, this time with Ciel on screen. He found that it was harder to breathe as Sebastian approached him on the screen and Ciel knew exactly what he was going to be watching.

He had the power to stop the DVD, to end his suffering now, but something kept Ciel from doing that. Whether it was the desire to see Sebastian again on film or something else, Ciel wasn’t sure. But whatever the case, it kept him from shutting the DVD off. Instead, he watched as Sebastian approached him and circled around him as he talked.

Even on film, the words caressed and washed over Ciel, enveloping him in touch that had him trembling on the bed. He wanted to reach through the screen and pull Sebastian towards him, or at least knock some sense into himself. Knock any thoughts of Claude from his mind. “Stupid,” Ciel muttered. “You were stupid, Ciel.”

He knew that Sebastian could talk, that he wasn’t mute by birth or by an accident but instead because of Claude. And even after knowing that, Ciel had still dismissed the logic that had been right there in front of him. Sebastian had black nail polish on his fingers and so did Master. They both worked at night and several times, Ciel would wake up at Sebastian’s apartment after a session with Master. 

The connections were right there in front of him and Ciel prided himself on being smart, able to see things and understand them more than other people did. But this time, Ciel had ignored what was right in front of him. He had allowed his lust for Claude to rule his mind and now he was paying for it. Paying for the fact that he listened to his libido over his mind. 

Blue eyes turned back to the television and Ciel watched as Sebastian’s fingers trailed up his arm on the screen, making him shiver. He could almost feel the touch on his arm now and Ciel’s throat tightened even more. He couldn’t tear his eyes away as the scene progressed before him and every touch that Sebastian gave him, every word spoken was burned into Ciel’s mind. 

And then, recognition dawned on the Ciel’s face that played on the screen. Ciel’s heart raced painfully against his chest, knowing that it was at that time that he believed it was Claude behind him. “Will you sing to me? I just, I want to test something.” He muttered along with his double on screen, the words like ash in his mouth.

Ciel’s breath came fast at the look on Sebastian’s face, a look of surprise and a hint of wariness; and Ciel didn’t blame him. The whole time, Ciel had been pushing Sebastian on, believing that it was Claude and asking for more, even though Ciel had originally said no touching. That rule had been shattered within moments of Ciel stepping into the room.

Fingers and lips had touched him, brushing over his body like a flame that warmed him and teased him with its flickering touch. And Ciel had let it happen without complaint. Because he had believed that it was Claude behind those touches. 

But Sebastian’s singing was different than Claude’s was, Ciel could hear it now. Sebastian’s voice was deeper and richer, it made gooseflesh race along Ciel’s skin and he shivered on the bed. How could he have believed that this voice was Claude’s? The two were vastly different and Ciel cursed himself for letting him think that they were the same.

He had heard the differences before but had chosen to ignore them, hoping that by doing so, he could convince himself that it was still Claude’s voice. And it had worked but to what cost?

Ciel cringed and watched his face on the screen as it seemed to morph into something of pure bliss as he tilted his head back to look at Sebastian. His heart raced in his chest, thumping so quickly that it hurt and Ciel found that it was hard to breathe. He knew what was coming next, knew the word that would fall from his mouth, and had the power to stop it. 

“Claude.”

The words fell without Ciel stopping them and he knew that he couldn’t; he wouldn’t. And the entire time, Ciel kept his gaze locked on Sebastian’s face. 

His grip on the pillow grew tighter and Ciel gasped for breath as Sebastian jerked away from him as though Ciel had the bubonic plague. Sebastian’s fingers shook and there was a fine tremble to his body as the silence stretched between them. Hurt, pain, and betrayal all flickered across Sebastian’s face and with each one, Ciel felt all the more numb.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Sebastian’s face and he watched as the man struggled to find an answer to Ciel’s question. “No,” Ciel muttered as he watched the raw pain settle on Sebastian’s face. “I didn’t mean it. It’s not what you think,” he said, voice begging Sebastian to understand. 

But already, Ciel was calling Claude’s voice again; asking and pleading that for it to be Claude. Sour bile filled Ciel’s mouth as he watched himself on screen, the way he reached for Sebastian and the way longing crept across his face. Disgust filled his body and Ciel’s lips curled at the needy sounds coming from him mouth on the television. Why was it that Claude seemed to bring out the worst in him?

The slap that sounded on the screen made Ciel jump and his cheek throbbed at the memory of it. But that pain in his cheek was nothing compared to the ache that he settled in his chest. It seemed as though it was there to stay and with each passing moment, it only seemed to grow even more.

Ciel could barely bring himself to look at Sebastian’s face and he had to choke back the emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. Sebastian’s face was livid as he shouted at him, but pain was still present in crimson eyes. Eyes that were so open and vulnerable. They gave away every feeling that Sebastian was feeling and each one was like a stab into Ciel’s chest.

He had caused the pain in those breathtaking eyes, had made despair wash across Sebastian’s face, and had caused the tremor to appear in Sebastian’s voice. A voice that had once been silent and seductive to him at the same time. A voice from a person that Ciel had come to need in his life more than he thought possible.

A person who was telling him goodbye.

The true weight of what Ciel had done suddenly crashed down around Ciel. It wasn’t Master that wanted Ciel out his life, but instead Sebastian. Sebastian, the man who Ciel had spent most of his summer break with; slowly getting closer to him, falling for him, and…

Ciel curled in on himself as The Undertaker came into the office on screen. He didn’t hear the words being exchanged and the only thing echoing in his ears were Sebastian’s final words to him. ‘This is goodbye, Ciel.’

“No,” Ciel moaned aloud, the words muffled by the blankets on the bed. “No, no. Sebastian please. Please, Sebastian. Sebastian!” He screamed in despair. He couldn’t lose the older male, he just couldn’t.

There was a low chuckle on screen and Ciel slowly raised his head. The camera had been lifted up and was cradled in The Undertaker’s hands, showing a grinning face. “You lose, Ciel Phantomhive, and you will never find him again.”

Ciel’s breath came fast as the screen went dark and the DVD ended, leaving him staring at the black screen. His reflection stared back and for the briefest moment, they looked at each other; blue eyes wide and filled with dread. Then, Ciel was off the bed in the blink of an eye. His legs tangled in the sheets and he crashed to the floor in a mess of blankets and limbs that created an unpleasant rug burn but it was brushed off.

With frustrated moves, Ciel freed himself from the cloth prison before searching for something to wear. None of his clothes was readily available on the floor and Ciel glanced down at his person, judging that the running shorts and simple t-shirt he had slept in the night before would be enough. 

He ran for the door before sliding to a stop and doubling back to the bed to grab his phone. His heart plummeted when he realized that the text message he had sent earlier that morning had been returned with a message that it had been undeliverable. Ciel’s fingers punched in Sebastian’s number as he ran through the hallway and down the steps, his feet stomping loudly.

The device was brought to his ear as Ciel’s sock covered feet slid across the wooden floor and Ciel scrambled around the corner. Keys and his wallet were grabbed from the bowl in the foyer as an annoying mechanical voice informed him that the number he was trying to reach had been disconnected. 

“Don’t, please Sebastian,” Ciel gasped as he ran out the front door. It slammed shut behind him and Ciel only paused to lock it before climbing into his car. It started with a purr and within seconds, Ciel was racing down the street. His hands were tight around the steering wheel as he ran a red light and Ciel wondered what he would tell an officer if they pulled him over for his reckless driving. 

‘I’m sorry officer, but I just made the biggest mistake in my life to the person I care for more than I should and I need to apologize now before he wants me out of his life forever.’ 

Somehow, Ciel doubted they would let him off the hook with just that explanation alone but he didn’t dwell on the thoughts for very long. He was quickly approaching the outskirts of town where Sebastian lived and his tires squealed as he turned into the parking lot. A small curse left Ciel’s mouth as he fumbled for the door and could barely bring himself to lock it as he jogged to the sidewalk.

He pranced in place before bolting across the street at the first sign of an opening. Feet thumped up the steps and by the time Ciel made it to Sebastian’s door, he was covered in sweat and could barely breathe. The key in his hand trembled and he fumbled for the keyhole before it finally slid in.

It wasn’t until the key turned and the lock slipped from place that Ciel finally stopped and allowed himself to take in a breath. He could do this, he could apologize and beg for forgiveness. Because living without Sebastian…no. Ciel shook his head. He wouldn’t allow that to happen.

The door was pushed open and heat washed over Ciel’s body. The AC unit was off and the air was smoldering in the heat of the day. “Sebastian?” Ciel called, the apartment quiet and unsettling. It was clean, as was expected of Sebastian but it was the two boxes on the coffee table that had Ciel’s heart pounding in his throat.

The chess set that Ciel had given Sebastian sat in the middle of the table, no doubt the pieces and board were placed neatly inside, seeing as the game they had been playing earlier that week was gone from the room. And on top of the chess box was the iPod box that Ciel had bought for the older male just a few days ago. 

He walked towards the table and reached for the box, keeping his fingers from trembling. Ciel knew that Sebastian had already opened the box and had moved his songs over to the new device. He had seen the older male listening to the iPod while relaxing on the couch, foot tapping to the music playing.

The box was opened and Ciel gazed at the device that sat nestled in the packing. It was turned on and with numb fingers, Ciel started to scroll through the options. It was with a sinking heart that Ciel realized all the music that had been on there was gone, as were the few pictures Sebastian had uploaded.

Ciel dug around in his pockets for his phone and quickly searched for the number to the apartment before punching in the numbers. He paced the room, one hand holding his phone, the other holding the gift he bought for Sebastian. Finally, the line clicked and a cheerful voice greeted him. “Yes, hi, I was wondering if you have any open rooms right now. Preferably on the fourth floor with something in the middle of the building.”

He waited patiently as the woman on the phone searched the records and he could hear her clicking on the computer in the background. Finally she found the list and started reading off the room numbers that were available. As Sebastian’s room was listed, Ciel bit his lip to keep him from cursing on the phone. He thanked the woman and hung up before she could ask any more questions.

He looked around the room and Ciel stumbled into Sebastian’s bedroom, hoping to find something. But the room was empty, minus the furniture that the apartment had supplied. All the drawers were cleaned out and the bed stripped. There was nothing there; not as though there had been much there to begin with.

The kitchen was cleaned out too and Ciel felt his legs shake as he dropped onto the couch again. There was nothing left. Not a note or a goodbye. Nothing. 

Ciel sucked in a harsh breath and looked at the iPod in his hand. No. Sebastian had said goodbye, but in his own way. No note was needed, as Sebastian probably felt that it would be too personal considering it was the way they used to talk to each other. Instead, he said goodbye without words by leaving behind the two things that connected him with Ciel.

Despair raced through Ciel and his head rested in his hands. “I didn’t mean it, Sebastian,” he murmured in the silence of the room. But that was a lie. At the time, he had meant it. Ciel hadn’t thought about Sebastian at all during that time. It had just been Claude. Always Claude. 

The desires for Claude should’ve been gone earlier when Ciel started spending more time with Sebastian but they had stayed around. Now though, they had vanished. Just the thought of Claude touching him again was enough to make Ciel sick. Claude was the reason Sebastian was lost to Ciel now and Ciel didn’t want anything to do with the man ever again. He had learned his lesson. It was just a shame that it had taken so long and the loss of Sebastian for him to realize it. 

Claude.

Just because Sebastian had said goodbye to him didn’t mean that Sebastian had said goodbye to other things. He still worked for Funtom and Ciel could find him there. And if that failed, Ciel could always ask Claude. The man was bound to know where Sebastian had vanished.

Ciel jumped to his feet and quickly scooped the boxes into his arms. He would find Sebastian and try to right the wrongs he had done. He would do what he needed to do to show Sebastian that he was sorry and hope that perhaps, third time was a charm. He barley remembered making it to his car, the boxes set carefully on the floor before Ciel pulled out of the parking lot.

It was a quick drive to the company and Ciel couldn’t bring himself to care about how he looked as he parked and made his way inside. His father would have information on Sebastian that much Ciel was certain of. Vincent knew everything about everyone in the company, including Sebastian. Despite the current situation, Ciel felt a smirk curling on his lips. This was just like a game of chess and this time, Ciel was determined to win.

He jogged through the foyer, ignoring the strange looks sent his way as he made his way to the elevator. He knew what he looked like but Ciel didn’t let it bother him. The up button was pushed harshly and Ciel waited impatiently for the doors to open. Once inside, the correct button was pushed and Ciel watched the numbers slowly climb up until he was on the right floor.

The doors opened, admitting him to the top floor and Ciel moved down the hallway to an office that he knew all too well. He was greeted by the secretary, who smiled at him and informed Ciel that his father was free, leaving Ciel to barge into the office without delay. A part of him hoped that Sebastian would already be in the office, discussing something with his father but Vincent was alone in his office.

“Please tell me you weren’t running around town dressed like that,” Vincent commented after the doors were shut. Ciel glared at him as he approached the desk while his father kept talking. “Because I know it’s hot outside, but that’s not exactly the best attire you own.”

Ciel shook his head. “I’ll go change after I find some answers and you’re the only person I know who would have those answers. So please help me out.”

Vincent sat up straighter in his chair. “Are you all right, Ciel?” He asked seriously, taking in Ciel’s appearance for the first time. “You look as though someone just died.”

“I feel like it,” Ciel croaked and took a seat across from his father is. “Do you know where Sebastian is?”

A curious eyebrow arched slightly and Vincent laced his fingers together. “I received an urgent email from him this morning requesting time off. Sebastian said that something came up in his personal life that needed to be taken care of right away.” Vincent shrugged slightly. “He’s never asked for time off before and is always a hard worker so I didn’t have any problems letting him take it. We’re in a lull right now and there’s no harm in it.”

Ciel slumped into the plush chair. “How long will he be gone?” He asked weakly.

“A month was what he asked for, and yes, before you ask, I gave it to him,” Vincent answered. “Now, let me ask a question of my own, why are you suddenly so interested in Sebastian?”

“He’s gone!” Ciel blurted out. “I stopped by his apartment and he was gone, moved out and everything.”

Vincent hummed. “Seems as though that’s why he took the time off, to change apartments and get settled in. It’s about time he moved, I’ve been telling him for years that we could get him a better place.”

Ciel glanced up. “What?” He questioned. “You offered him a better place? I thought you didn’t know he existed outside of when we need him.”

A low chuckle left Vincent’s mouth. “I could say the same to you. I didn’t think you noticed him at all to be honest, so it was quite surprising to have you barge into my office asking about him.” He stood up. “But yes, I see him often. And I have a good suspicion that he can still speak.”

“You knew?” Ciel breathed. 

Vincent waved a hand. “Of course I knew. My producer told me about Sebastian the night they met at one of Claude’s gigs. Showed me a picture of him and everything. But he said that while Sebastian was talented he didn’t want the fame that Claude sought and was willing to let his brother have it.” Vincent glanced at Ciel. “When Claude brought Sebastian back and asked to give him a job, I had my suspicions something had happened between them. Claude is rather easy to read but Sebastian has always been the mystery.”

Ciel groaned lowly. “I feel sick,” he moaned. His own father knew about Sebastian and had tried to help while Ciel did nothing. “Why didn’t you tell me this before?”

“I never had a reason to,” Vincent answered. “You never showed interest in him and I figured the less people who knew, the better. Whatever was going on between him and Claude would only be made worse if more people knew. 

Ciel stood up quickly and moved to the door. He needed to get out of the office and find the next person on his list to help. Sitting around wasn’t going to help him find Sebastian and the older male already had a head start. Not only that, Sebastian wouldn’t be back for a month, meaning the other man would have plenty of time to put space between them.

“Ciel, what’s going on?” Vincent as he made his way to the door. “What happened that you suddenly care about Sebastian?”

Coming to a stop by the door, Ciel turned around and regarded his father carefully. “Because I made a terrible mistake and I may have just ruined the best thing that happened to me. And if I don’t find Sebastian now and apologize, then he’ll be lost to me forever!” Ciel finished and slammed the door shut behind him as he left the office.

Once outside the office, Ciel leaned against the door and closed his eyes, trying to think. His father had only been a small help and now it seemed that the next person he would have to ask would be Claude. The older male was the last person Ciel wanted to see right now but for the sake of getting Sebastian back, then he would have to talk to Claude.

Sucking in a deep breath, Ciel glanced at the secretary. “Do you know where Claude is?” He asked, hoping she would have his itinerary on hand. 

“He’s scheduled to be in recording today but that’s not for another thirty minutes or so,” she answered. “Would you like me to ring him for you?”

Ciel shook his head and pulled out his phone. “No thank you, I have his number. Thank you for your help,” he said and pushed away from the door. Fingers punched in the numbers as Ciel walked down the hallway and brought the phone to his ear after hitting the talk button. It rang a few times before the line clicked. 

“Hello little Phantomhive,” Claude purred over the phone. “Have you thought about my offer?”

“I have,” Ciel answered calmly. 

“Then you know that if you want that offer to go through, you have to give me something first,” Claude answered. “And you know what I want.”

Ciel nodded. “I know what you want and I have the information on Sebastian that you’re looking for. When can we meet?”

Claude chuckled lowly over the phone. “I can be in early if you would like to talk then. I’m supposed to be at the recording studio soon but I can get there early for you.”

“That would be wonderful,” Ciel stated before hanging up and stepping into the elevator that was waiting for him. He looked calm and collect on the outside as the elevator descended but his emotions warred inside. There was a small part of him, one that was greatly overshadowed by the pressing urge to find Sebastian, which seethed quietly. 

Sebastian had tricked him, had lied and strung him along the whole time. He knew who Ciel was and never once bothered to stop seeing Ciel as Master when they started to get closer during the day. This was just as much Sebastian’s fault as it was Ciel’s.

But that part wasn’t important right now. Right now, Ciel’s main focus was finding Sebastian and trying to fix everything. He needed to find the older male who had seemingly vanished from the grid and Ciel didn’t want to wait for a month for Sebastian to resurface again. The elevator stopped and Ciel stepped off before making his way to the studio, hoping that Claude would have the information he was looking for. 

Minutes passed as Ciel waited until finally the door opened and Claude strolled into the room looking far too smug. “Please sit,” Ciel said, gesturing to the chair across from him.

“I’m glad to see that you came through for me, Ciel,” Claude answered as he sat down. Leaning forward, he rested his chin on his hands. “So tell me, what is it that my little brother does?”

Ciel’s eyes narrowed. “No,” he said coolly. “I refuse to tell you that.”

Claude scowled. “We had a deal, Ciel,” he stated.

“I know we did and it was a foolish deal on my part, one that I never should’ve agreed to.” Ciel looked at Claude. “But I’m ending that now because I don’t want to be a part of this anymore.”

“What?” Claude seethed and stood up slowly. “Why would you do that?”

Ciel clicked his tongue and glared at the man. “Because I realized that you aren’t the person I want,” he stated and stood up as well. “This morning, Sebastian asked to take time off. I’m sure you were informed of his request due to your relationship with him.”

Claude growled lowly. “I was informed an hour ago. I suppose even creatures unfit for society deserve some time off from their work.” He crossed his arms across his chest. “Not that I’m happy with it mind you, but I can’t do anything about it. My hands are tied.”

Ciel nodded. “Of course. Do you happen to know where he went?” He frowned when Claude shook his head. “Do you know his number then? I keep getting the message that his phone has been disconnected.”

The older male stiffened and he pulled out his phone, quickly punching in the buttons. He waited for a moment for the line to connect before lowering his phone. “He canceled his phone,” he said weakly and for the first time since they started talking, Ciel could see a hint of fear in Claude’s eyes. “He knows that he’s not allowed to do that. I’ll cut his job for this.”

“You will do no such thing, Claude,” Ciel spat. “Sebastian is no longer your concern and I will not let you keep ruling over his life like this. Now tell me, where is Sebastian?”

Claude hissed. “And who are you to say what I can and can’t do to my own brother? He’s my blood, not yours and last I checked, you didn’t care for him anymore than I did. But now you’re telling me to leave him alone? What’s the matter, did you grow a heart suddenly?”

Ciel grunted and held Claude’s gaze. “I did and I realized that Sebastian is a much better person than you. He has far better points and his personality is something that everyone wants in their significant other.” He shook his head. “You, you’re just a pretty face and a good voice. Your personality is nonexistent and I’m sorry that I never noticed that before."

Claude looked as though he had been slapped and his fingers curled into a fist. “A personality is all he will have,” he spat. “You can’t change how he looks or his lack of voice. He’ll always be a loser, with or without a personality. It does nothing for him.”

“I think it does,” Ciel answered. “I enjoyed spending my time with him even though he couldn’t talk and wasn’t as attractive as other people. And if I remember correctly, the only reason he doesn’t talk and doesn’t dress nice is because you have a noose around his neck, so I would think that he does have something going for him.”

“Then I will find him and make sure that those two attributes won’t be a problem for good this time. They’re easily destroyable,” Claude snarled. 

Ciel took a step forward and pushed his finger into Claude’s face. “You will not lay a finger on him Claude Faustus or so help me, I will tell the media everything and you will never sing ever again. All the fame that you love so much and hold so dear will be gone and you will be left with nothing. And maybe, Sebastian will take the place that you left and be all the more successful.”

“Why do you even care? He’s no one!” Claude shouted. “He’s just my stupid, idiotic brother who lives a pathetic life while watching everyone else. What is it about him that you would protect so strongly when he doesn’t deserve it?” A crazed look filled Claude’s eyes and he panted for breath as he waited for Ciel to answer.

“Because I think I love him,” Ciel answered calmly and levelly, keeping his eyes on Claude. “And that, Claude, is something you will never get from me. From now on, our dealings will be strictly professional. Goodbye Claude.” He brushed past Claude, aware of how tense and panicked the older male looked but couldn’t bring himself to care.

His chest felt lighter, despite everything, at having admitted that. He knew he still had to find Sebastian and Ciel vowed that he would, but right now, those words carried him on. He knew they were true and Ciel only hoped that he would be able to tell them to Sebastian. And for the first time since everything started, Ciel knew exactly what he wanted. And he wanted Sebastian.


	12. Chapter 12

12.

Leaves danced along the sidewalk as the wind caressed the trees with its touch, brushing against the leaves and sending more to scatter down on the ground with the rest. They moved across the sidewalk littered with gum and cigarette butts as they swirled around the legs of the benches while others were crunched under feet. 

Ciel watched them skirt around, his head propped against his knuckles will his other hand curled around a coffee cup. A soft sigh left his mouth and he shifted as someone sat across from him at the table. “Poor leaves. They live such a short and fun life on those branches before they fall and are forgotten about, crushed and torn apart in an instant.”

Elizabeth snorted. “Well aren’t you a little ray of sunshine today,” she stated and brought her coffee to her lips. “What’s got you in such a gloomy mood? Classes have already started, so it can’t be the start of the term and last I checked, this is your last term so you should be rather happy with that. Leaving me all alone to finish the spring term by myself, thanks for that.”

“You’ll live,” Ciel murmured and turned to glare at Elizabeth as she smacked him on the arm. “What was that for?” He asked.

“Don’t ask me that, Ciel Phantomhive, you know exactly what that was for. You’ve been moping for the past few weeks and it’s only gotten worse as the days go on.” Elizabeth pushed her coffee cup to the side. “So tell me, what has you in such a foul mood today?”

Ciel shook his head and looked out the window again, watching the students walk by outside. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he answered. He knew he was sulking but he couldn’t help it. It had been a month; a month, since Sebastian vanished and Ciel hadn’t seen so much of a shadow from the man.

The first week after Sebastian’s disappearance, Ciel had searched high and low for the man. He went back to the DIE set only to find it empty, as he had expected; Sebastian had said that they would be finished filming soon. It had still been worth a try though and once there, Ciel had torn apart the building looking for a hint, anything that would tell him where Sebastian went.

But the building was cleaned out, just as the first set had been all those months ago and Ciel was left with nothing. No papers were left, no books or scripts, not even a piece of trash was left behind. The rooms were spotless and Ciel realized exactly how thorough Sebastian was in making sure that everything was cleaned up when they left.

It was frustrating for Ciel, who simply wanted to find Sebastian but at the same time, he had to admit that he was proud of the older male and his company for being able to vanish so quickly and efficiently. DIE was a large company and to pull off a vanishing act like that within a matter of days was an amazing feat.

However, with DIE’s disappearance, Ciel was left with nothing and he didn’t know where to start. At one point in time, Ciel made his way back to the grocery store, hoping that Finny would be able to tell him where Sebastian was. But after searching the store for the man, Ciel couldn’t find him and had to ask someone when he would be coming in. They had informed him that Finny had quit almost a month ago, leaving Ciel with nowhere else to turn.

Claude wasn’t talking to him and the few times they had seen each other, had looked away and given Ciel the cold shoulder. The gesture hadn’t hurt at all, a sign that Ciel was indeed over his petty crush and he was glad to put the man behind him.

It didn’t get him any closer to finding Sebastian, but at least when he did; Ciel could honestly say that Claude was behind him. Their interactions so far had been strictly professional and Ciel planned to keep it that way. Just the thought of Claude touching him or promising pleasure was enough to make Ciel’s stomach churn and his skin crawl. 

But with Ciel sitting at a dead end in the ‘Sebastian disappearance’, it left him with nothing but time on his hands. Time that had allowed Ciel to sit and mull over everything that had happened, letting the anger that had been suppressed earlier to bubble and build until it threatened to spill over. In the end, that anger had reached its peak and Ciel found that he was more angry then depressed.

Sebastian had lied to him, strung him along like a puppet the whole time while never once saying a word. All along, Sebastian had been Master and had yearned for Ciel just as much as Ciel had lusted for Claude. And when the chance came, Sebastian took the opportunity that had been dropped in his lap and had used him to act out some sick fantasy.

All those times Master had scolded him for being cruel to Sebastian, telling him to give Sebastian a chance; that had been nothing but the older male subtly pushing Ciel towards him. If Ciel thought about it that way, he was tricked into falling for Sebastian. At that thought, Ciel had burned with anger for Sebastian and he felt sick.

Had any of it been real? On both their parts? Or had Ciel simply believed that he was falling for Sebastian because of the promptings of Master, pushing him in that direction. That thought had been dismissed quickly though as Ciel knew it wasn’t true. Yes, Master had urged him to apologize but Ciel had been somewhat, slightly interested in Sebastian before then. If only a little.

And the more Ciel had thought about it, the more he had to admit that even if Master hadn’t scolded him for his actions, Ciel still would’ve apologized to Sebastian. Because that day Ciel had yelled at Sebastian, he had felt bad and knew that he needed to apologize. His resolve had only strengthened when Master had snapped at him.

The whole situation was confusing though and several times, Ciel would lie awake at night with a pulsing headache as he tried to sort everything out. He couldn’t tell Elizabeth what was going on, because that meant telling her that he knew who owned DIE and was receiving sexual pleasure from him. That alone wouldn’t be too big of a deal if it hadn’t been for the fact that Ciel also happened to love the man’s alter ego.

That being said, which Sebastian was the real one? The Sebastian that Ciel saw during the day, or the one he went to at night? No matter which way Ciel looked at it, Sebastian had three personalities. The one he had to show in public, the one he kept hidden in the shadows, and then the one that Ciel saw during their time they spent together. 

The first personality was Ciel’s least favorite and he knew that that one was just an act. But what about the last two? That question had been on Ciel’s mind for the past few weeks, slowly driving him insane. He wanted to believe that they were both Sebastian and a part of him said that that he was right, but there was still a small part that doubted it.

Letting out a long sigh, Ciel glanced back at his coffee and then to Elizabeth who was still watching him carefully. “What if you met someone who you thought you knew, but turned out, you really didn’t know at all?” He asked.

Green eyes blinked at him. “This game won’t work on me, Ciel,” Elizabeth said. “You can’t go around and play the ‘this person did this and he was really that.’ It gets confusing without names and makes it harder to follow. So spit it out. I can’t help you unless you do that first.”

Ciel groaned and rubbed his temples. “I want to, I really do but the current situation doesn’t allow for me to tell you names.”

Elizabeth clicked her tongue. “Then tell me what you can and improvise as you go. This is obviously tearing you up and I know one thing at least. It’s about this Sebastian person that you seemed to like so much.”

Nodding, Ciel curled his fingers around the coffee cup. “Yeah, it’s about him. You know that he’s not the most attractive person and when I first started to see him, I didn’t like him. But his personality drew me in and despite his looks, I wanted him over Claude.” He took in a deep breath. “But there was another person, someone other than Claude and Sebastian. I only knew his voice but it was enough to pull me in.”

For a second, Elizabeth just stared at him and Ciel could feel a funny tickle in his stomach that she was already piecing things together. Or was about to chew him out for getting into a situation with someone he didn’t even know. Either way, Ciel would have to do some explaining. Slowly, she nodded and Ciel could see her thoughts racing behind her mind.

“The person behind the voice was really Sebastian and you found out a month ago,” she said carefully, testing her theory out on her tongue. “And now you don’t know what to think.”

Ciel nodded. “You’re good,” he murmured. “I don’t know which Sebastian is the real one. The one that I spent all that time with or the one with the voice. How do I know I fell for the right one?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “You are so helpless when it comes to romance, Ciel,” she teased. “Both of them are still Sebastian, so you can stop worrying about that. One was just his personality and the other was his voice. You said the only thing you knew about the ‘other’ Sebastian was his voice and while it was nice, you didn’t fall for that. You fell for the Sebastian that you saw every day and spent time with. That’s the real Sebastian, he showed it to you in hopes that you would fall for it and you did. You knew him all along, so don’t doubt that at all.”

Ciel glanced to the side and tapped his finger against the side of his cup. That answered one question that had been burning in his mind and was probably the most important. He wanted to know that the Sebastian he fell for was still the same Sebastian. The man did have several lives that he lived but Elizabeth was right.

Sebastian had showed him the truth when they spent time together and even the times they spent together during their sessions. The older man had always been considerate of him when he could have easily taken advantage of Ciel. Because in the end, it was Ciel who had agreed to their deal and not Sebastian. Sebastian didn’t force it on him, nor did he ever force anything onto him. 

It showed how much Sebastian cared for him and Ciel let out a sigh of relief. He was still mad at Sebastian for even suggesting a deal like that in the first place when he knew who Ciel was but for now, the simple knowledge that Sebastian had cared for him was enough to placate Ciel. Eventually, Sebastian would come back from his break and Ciel would be able to talk to the man, and ask the last question burning in his mind. But for now, he would have to wait.

“Thank you, Elizabeth,” Ciel murmured and sipped at his coffee. “I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes.”

“I still want to meet him, you know,” Elizabeth said with a small smile. “It’s obvious that despite everything, you still care for him and want him. You can’t hide that, it’s in your eyes, Ciel. I think you might even love him.”

A small flush settled on Ciel’s cheeks. “The thought had crossed my mind,” he stated and crossed his arms on the surface of the table. “And I think he felt the same way too, but I really messed things up. He was touching me and singing in my ear. I thought it was Claude and called him as such.”

A small ‘O’ formed on Elizabeth’s mouth and Ciel winced at the sight. “I’m sure that didn’t go over well,” she said finally. “But I’m sure he’s miserable without you. It sounds like you two really cared for each other in the end. He’ll come back around.” There was a smile on her face as she spoke and her tone light and happy, making Ciel want to believe those words.

He returned the smile as his phone started to vibrate across the table and Ciel picked it up, glancing at the caller ID. “Sorry, it’s my father, I have to take this,” Ciel said, holding up the phone. Elizabeth nodded at him and stood up to throw her coffee cup away while Ciel answered the phone. “Hello father.”

“Are you busy right now, Ciel?” Vincent asked over the phone and after receiving a negative answer, cleared his throat. “I’m afraid we have a small problem.”

Ciel stiffened and his grip tightened on the phone. “What do you mean?” He asked. “Is mom okay? What happened?”

Vincent shook his head. “Everyone is fine, no one is hurt. But I figured it would be best to tell you first before anyone else, seeing as you seemed to be so close to him.” He ran a hand over his face. “Ciel, Sebastian isn’t coming back.”

“Wh—what?” Ciel stammered. “But his vacation ended today, he should be back. I need him to be back.”

“I received his resignation letter today, stating that he was leaving the company. His month long vacation was used to set up his new job and new location,” Vincent answered. “He’s not coming back to us, Ciel. Sebastian is gone.”

Ciel shook his head. “No, he has to come back. Otherwise I don’t know where he is.”

Vincent sighed. “I’m sorry, Ciel, but I think that’s what he was hoping for. It seems that he doesn’t want to be found; by Claude, by us, or by you.”

“Oh God,” Ciel gasped, feeling his chest tighten. He had been clinging to the hope of talking to Sebastian when he came back and now that hope was shattered. A beep in his ear alerted him that someone was on the other line and he muttered goodbye to his father before switching over. “Hello?”

“My brother quit,” Claude hissed on the other line. “Did you know that, Ciel? He just quit his job. I have no idea where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s talking to because he just vanished. He just called and told me himself.”

Ciel scowled. “And what do you want me to do about it?” He asked. “You were the one who put all those rules on him. He saw a chance to run and took it. I don’t blame him.”

Claude grunted. “He’s not free though. He still can’t access his funds that Tanaka left him and he can’t get a job with anyone, I made sure of that. He’ll have no choice but to come crawling back to me when he runs out of money and then I’ll make sure that he never thinks about leaving again. I’ll break his fucking legs if I have to.”

“And I told you before that you will not lay a hand on him,” Ciel snapped. “If he’s vanished, it means he doesn’t want anyone to find him, ever. That means he won’t be doing anything to draw attention to himself so your popularity and fame are safe. Just forget about him, Claude, it’s the best thing for you.”

There was a low growl on the other end before Claude hung up and Ciel let out a long sigh. Elizabeth gave him a concerned look but Ciel waved it away as he stood up. Right now, he just wanted to drive and clear his head. He was done for the day with his classes and the day was over, there was nothing else to do.

“I need to go,” he said and grabbed his bag. “I have to get some fresh air.”

Elizabeth looked at him. “Are you sure about that, Ciel? You don’t look too well and it could be dangerous for you to drive like this.”

Ciel shook his head. “I’m fine. I’ll call you tonight when I get back so you know I made it home safely.” He tossed his cup into the trashcan along with the rest of his garbage. “I’ll see you tomorrow in class.”

He gave a small wave to the female before shoving his hands into his lightweight jacket and leaving the student union. The air was crisp as the sun set, signaling that fall would soon be on them as it was almost September. Ciel thought Sebastian would be back by now and to know that the older male was lost forever to him was a hard pill to swallow.

“It’s not fair,” he whispered as he unlocked his car and climbed in. All he needed was one chance to apologize to Sebastian and hope to make everything right. Ciel didn’t even want to think about how much sleep he lost the first week or two after Sebastian left. No doubt, Ciel wouldn’t be able to sleep for a while because of this as well.

The car moved easily out of the parking lot and Ciel guided it down the road. He wasn’t in the mood to go home just yet and just wanted to drive so he could clear his head. Things weren’t turning out the way he had hoped and Ciel could feel the frustration mounting as he moved down the road. He didn’t know where he was going, but anywhere would be good. 

It didn’t take long before Ciel found himself passing the amusement park that was near the docks, it was a favorite place year round with the college students and Ciel had been there several times. It was still open and Ciel glanced at the tall rides that towered over him, wondering if it would be worth the admission fee to go inside and lose himself in the fast rides.

It was an interesting idea and Ciel lowered his gaze back to the road, already moving in the direction of the parking lot. A small mass of people passed him on the sidewalk and Ciel glanced at them briefly before looking back at the light he was approaching, willing it to turn green. His head snapped back in the direction of the crowd and Ciel slammed on the brakes, his eyes darting quickly over the crowd.

There. Ciel would know that head of black hair anywhere and his heart pounded painfully against his chest. There, walking with the mass of people was none other than Sebastian, looking at ease as he walked with the people around him and, Ciel realized, was dressed rather attractively. Gone was the baggy suit, replaced instead with a better fitting one and Ciel gave an appreciative hum at the sight.

A car horn blared at him from behind, making him jump. He quickly flicked the driver off behind him before swerving out of the turn lane he had been in and back into traffic. As much as Ciel wanted to yell at Sebastian from the car, he knew that the older male would just vanish. Sebastian didn’t want to be found and Ciel needed to know where he was going before confronting him.

No doubt, Sebastian was going to the new location for the shoot and if Ciel could find that, then he would know where Sebastian was for at least a month or so. They couldn’t change their location and script just because of him. 

But Sebastian was moving on foot and Ciel was about to overtake him in the car, and that would lead to all sorts of problems right now. He scanned the area before finding a nearby parking lot that was used during the summer when the docks were crowded with people. Ciel drove by Sebastian, making sure to stay hunched over in his seat so the man couldn’t see him, and parked in the first available spot. 

Once the car was locked, Ciel waited patiently for Sebastian to pass by before he started to move. It was a familiar motion, of following Sebastian, and Ciel was quick to fall into the pattern. Hang back for a while to make sure Sebastian didn’t see him before slowly getting closer. It was a game of cat and mouse, where Ciel was the cat and Sebastian was the mouse.

They turned towards the ocean and Ciel hung back a bit farther to let Sebastian get a bigger head start before trotting after him. Near the docks, there was a lone cruise ship resting innocently in the water and Ciel nearly choked on his spit when Sebastian started to walk up the ramp. How the hell did Sebastian get a cruise ship for his next shoot?!

There was no turning back now and Ciel ran towards the ship, wanting answers to all the questions that ran through his mind. But more importantly, he wanted to see Sebastian again, wanted to run his fingers through the man’s hair and brush over his fingers over Sebastian’s face. He had yearned for the man over the past month, wanting nothing more than Sebastian. 

Ciel’s feet were silent on the ramp and he paused for the briefest moment before the door before pushing it open. It was heavy but unlocked, and Ciel was grateful for the luck. Silently, he padded down the carpeted hallway until he reached the center of the ship where he gazed around in awe at the large, open room. 

It would take a while to find Sebastian on a ship this large, but Ciel had a suspicion that the man was somewhere near the control deck. It was the position of power on the ship and from there, Sebastian could see everything. With a nod of his head, Ciel darted off to the bridge, hoping that Sebastian would be there.

The hallways were crowded with filming equipment and several rooms were open, sounds of pleasure filling the hall as Ciel raced through them. They were ignored though in favor of finding Sebastian and once Ciel found the steps, he jogged up them. Signs guided him towards the control room and Ciel rounded a corner, narrowly avoiding bumping into someone.

They shouted at him, recognition coloring their face and without a pause, Ciel tore down the hall. It wouldn’t take long before Sebastian was alerted and the rest of the crew found him. The stairs were taken two at a time, Ciel never slowing down until he reached the top flight, his heart thudding against his chest. He gasped for breath before turning down the hall in the direction of the control room.

Footsteps sounded below him on the stairs and Ciel sped up. He could it, could see the doors that led to the room he needed and the only thing stopping him now was if Sebastian wasn’t in that room. Ciel was putting every last gamble on that hope as his fingers curled around the door handle and yanked it open.

He stepped into the room and only had time to look around for a brief second, his eyes settling on a familiar figure before a rough bag was tossed over his head. “No!” He screamed and fought back against the hands that grabbed for him. His legs kicked out, lashing at anyone who ventured too close and Ciel was rewarded with several grunts. “Let me talk to him, I need to talk to Sebastian, please!” He cried out.

Ciel squirmed as he was lifted up into the air and he twisted in the grip. He wasn’t going down without a fight, not when he was so close and had made it so far. No one was going to keep him from seeing Sebastian. The hands on his body tightened and Ciel tossed his head back, smacking someone in the nose with the back of his head and the grip loosened slightly.

He kicked and clawed his way from the person holding him until he stumbled forward on the floor, his jeans skidding against the carpet. “Sebastian, please, we need to talk.”

A tongue clicked in distaste. “And why would he want to talk to you?” The Undertaker asked from behind him.

Ciel didn’t move to look at him and instead focused in the direction that he had seen Sebastian. “You don’t speak for him,” Ciel spat. “If he doesn’t want to talk to me, then he can tell me that himself. So stop putting words in his mouth you bastard.”

The room grew quiet as Sebastian stood up and Ciel heard him push away from the chair. Soft footsteps walked past him and Ciel held his breath as Sebastian brushed by him, the scent of cinnamon washing over his senses. Then it faded away and the door closed with a soft snap, making Ciel lower his head as despair washed over him. “No, Sebastian. Please. I’m sorry; I’m so, so sorry.”

Ciel gasped as the bag was yanked off his head and he blinked quickly in the bright room. “You have ten minutes,” Sebastian said coolly as he dropped the bag on the floor and leaned against the desk.

Nodding his head, Ciel stood up and shakily moved to stand before Sebastian. Before Sebastian could say anything else, Ciel’s fist connected to the side of the man’s face and he put all his strength into the punch. He watched with satisfaction as Sebastian’s head snapped to the side and Ciel’s knuckles throbbed from the force of the action.

“That was for lying to me the whole time and using me when you knew who I was,” Ciel growled.

He barely had time to savor the moment before he felt his own head spinning around as Sebastian returned the favor. “That’s for leading me on and toying with me when you really didn’t care,” Sebastian answered. “Glad to see that we’re even now.”

“Oh no,” Ciel panted and pointed a finger at Sebastian after wiping away the small trickle of saliva that left his mouth. “We are not even. You knew, Sebastian. You knew who I was the whole and used me for your own sick fantasies because you couldn’t have me outside of them.”

Sebastian scowled. “And what would you have done, Ciel, where you in my shoes? You never once looked at me during the day and all of a sudden, you appear before me, at a time when I’m myself, and find my voice attractive. What would you have done, Ciel? I’m only human and when you came back that second time, I couldn’t help myself.” He shook his head. “I knew it was a bad idea and I shouldn’t have done it, but I was weak and greedy. I wanted to know what it felt like to have something I wanted for a change and at the time, you wanted me too.”

Ciel looked away, knowing that Sebastian’s words were all too true. If their roles had been reversed, Ciel would’ve done the same thing. If it had been someone he wanted for a long time but couldn’t have, he would’ve taken the offer without hesitation. They were both only human. “Why didn’t you just tell me then?”

Laughter left Sebastian’s mouth and Ciel winced slightly when he realized what exactly he had been asking. “I couldn’t exactly come out and say who I was when we first met. I was supposed to be mute and unseen during the day. You wouldn’t have believed me anyway.” His arms curled around his body. “Besides, you would’ve fallen for ‘Master’ not Sebastian. You were so wrapped up on what people looked like that you wouldn’t care about anything else I wanted. It would’ve been a hollow victory for me. Why do you think I always slept in night clothes after you started coming over?”

“You sleep nude?” Ciel asked, a hint of surprise lacing his voice.

“Of course, it’s more comfortable that way and far cooler in the summer,” Sebastian answered. “And clothes get in the way when you’re horny.”

Ciel couldn’t help himself and he burst into laughter. He knew it wasn’t a funny situation between them, they were both hurt; Sebastian more so than him, but he had missed being able to joke around with Sebastian like this. “I missed you,” he breathed. “I really, really missed you.”

He held up a hand, stopping Sebastian from talking or tearing into him. They didn’t need that right now and Ciel would only get one chance to explain everything. “I know about everything between you and Claude, that’s why I’m not surprised to hear you talking right now.” He started and Sebastian jerked slightly. “A few hours before we met that night, Claude had cornered me into dinner and my father made sure that I couldn’t back out.”

A snort of amusement left Sebastian’s throat but he didn’t interrupt.

“He told me about your past and the rules he forced on you. That you couldn’t talk because of him. But after that, he started flirting with me,” Ciel looked down at the carpet. “I was happy with you, Sebastian, probably the happiest I had ever been during those weeks we spent time together. But I’m only human. I’m young and when you’re my age, all you care about is looks, fame, and wealth. Everyone wants to date someone famous and those feelings for Claude never went away. They were buried deep inside me, always gone and forgotten when I was with you, but that afternoon, he sparked them to life again, even though I swore not to let him get to me. I knew that I wanted only you, but I was weak in the end.”

Ciel ran a hand over his face and let out a long sigh as he remembered his actions a little over a month ago. They were embarrassing now that he thought about them and his face flushed at the memory.

“And then I went to see you so I could say goodbye. But for all that you don’t like Claude, you two actually act the same way around me,” Ciel said with a weak laugh. “You both touched me the same way, said the same things, and then you both sang to me. That memory from lunch was so fresh that I couldn’t stop myself. I thought it was Claude behind me and that small part that wanted him took over. I had lusted after Claude for years, Sebastian. Those feelings weren’t going to vanish in a few short weeks.”

Sebastian nodded but stayed silent, taking in the words as they came. It made a part of Ciel nervous as Sebastian’s face stayed blank and he couldn’t read what was going on in Sebastian’s mind, but Ciel could only hope for the best. There was nothing else he could do now.

His fingers brushed over the fabric of his clothes. “It was stupid of me to believe that it was him when your voice is so much deeper and smoother than his, but I wanted to believe that it was Claude for some reason. As though believing it was him would make up for all those years of chasing him and believing that he wanted me in return, even though I would’ve just been another notch on his bedpost.” Ciel shook his head. “I knew he wouldn’t give me what I wanted, because you had already given it to me.”

The older male shifted and Ciel glanced up at him, waiting for Sebastian to say something but it seemed as though Sebastian was trying his best to hold his tongue until Ciel was done. Ciel was grateful for that and hurried to finish.

“When I woke up the next morning, I was disgusted with myself and couldn’t wait to see you again so I could put Claude behind me for good. And then I found out the truth.” Ciel closed his eyes. “I was sick after that and searched for you for weeks. No one knew where you were and I was worried. But at the same time, I was also angry because I felt used. I didn’t know what to think. Which was the real you and were you simply using me for your own pleasure.”

“No,” Sebastian spoke quickly and straightened his body as he pushed away from the desk. “No. I may have offered that deal to you but it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted you to see me as you did in my apartment. I wanted you that way, when you were open and honest with me, not when you were trying to best me. Never once did I think about using you just for pleasure.”

Ciel moved closer to Sebastian and hesitantly reached for the older male. “Then what were you hoping would happen, Sebastian?”

Crimson eyes lowered slightly. “I don’t know,” he answered. “But I had always hoped that you would notice me, the me that was supposed to be unseen, and when you did, it gave me hope. Hope that I might have a chance with you; that for once, Claude didn’t have something of mine that I wanted so badly. But I guess in the end, he won.”

Ciel shook his head. “No. I told him a month ago that we were to be professional in how we handled ourselves. Just the thought of him touching me and offering me pleasure is enough to make me sick right now.” He ran his fingers down Sebastian’s cheek and closed his eyes at the familiar touch. “In the end, it was you. It was always you. I never once regretted all the time we spent together and it makes me happy that I agreed to Claude’s deal even if nothing came from that.”

The words left Ciel’s mouth before he realized what he said and Ciel’s eyes widened slightly. Sebastian looked at him, eyes narrowing slightly and Ciel gulped. “What deal?” Sebastian asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

“Claude wanted to know what you did during the day and asked me to find out,” Ciel whispered and his eyes closed tightly. “And in turn, he would give me a night of pleasure.”

“You told him?” Sebastian breathed, his grip tightening on the desk behind him.

Ciel quickly shook his head. “No, he doesn’t know anything about DIE. I told him that you don’t do anything but sleep during the day and he believed me. We had a fight the day you vanished and I told him that I wanted nothing to do with him anymore.”

Sebastian swallowed. “So the only reason you came to see me the first time was because you were hoping to find answers for Claude. That’s why you followed me. It was all to please Claude?”

Blue eyes lowered. “It started out that way, yes, I won’t lie. But then I started to know more about you. Your personality drew me in until I couldn’t get away and I forgot about the deal altogether. I wanted to see you because I wanted to, not because of Claude.” He reached for Sebastian’s hand, pleading for him to understand. “I’m not here because of Claude, but because of you. You are the one I want Sebastian. I wanted you when I thought you couldn’t speak and when I didn’t know what you looked like. I fell for your personality first and without knowing it, your voice.”

“But in the end, it was Claude that you cried out for,” Sebastian whispered, voice cracking slightly.

Ciel shifted. “Do you blame me, Sebastian? Everything you did sounded like Claude. I had nothing to believe that it was you, because to me, you were always silent. I never knew what your voice sounded like and you sound almost like Claude. All the similarities were there and in a way, it was also your fault.” He felt bad pointing it out for Sebastian, but not everything was Ciel’s fault.

The older male looked away. “I know. I handled the situation wrong from the very beginning, all those months ago. I should’ve let you find your own path no matter what I wanted. It was unfair of me to use the situation to my advantage.” His eyes closed. “I understand if you wish to never me again or if you go back to Claude.”

“Did you know that Claude won’t talk to me anymore after our fight the day you left?” Ciel asked quietly. “I told him that day that we were through, that he was to leave you alone or I would ruin his career.”

Sebastian blinked. “And?”

Ciel pressed closer to Sebastian, inhaling the man’s scent. “I realized then that it was always you, because I cried when I lost you and was relieved when I lost Claude.” He reached up, cupping Sebastian’s face. “It’s you, Sebastian, it’s always been you, since we first started meeting. I know I made mistakes and that I hurt you badly, but I’m human, you’re human, and we all make those mistakes.”

He brushed a piece of hair out of Sebastian’s face, feeling the older male tremble as he continued. 

“When we kissed and you held me in your arms, I never felt more complete and more safe than in your embrace. I knew your feelings for me then and I knew my own feelings for you. They were pure and honest compared to what I felt for anyone else, and I wanted to feel that again.” Ciel smiled. “Things are always clear when I’m with you. I know what I want and what I want is you.”

“Ciel,” Sebastian murmured.

Ciel looked up at Sebastian again. “Do you know what I told Claude to make him hate me so much?” He asked and Sebastian shook his head. “When he was yelling at me and asking why I chose you over him, I said only six words to answer him. ‘Because I think I lo--.”

“No,” Sebastian said quickly, his hand covering Ciel’s mouth. “Don’t say those words; don’t say them when they’re not true.”

Ciel tugged at Sebastian’s hand. “And don’t tell me what I say is either a lie or the truth. I know what I feel Sebastian,” he rested his head on Sebastian’s chest, feeling the man’s heart beat wildly. “I know what you feel.”

Sebastian shook his head. “I can’t, not again,” he gasped. 

“But you did, Sebastian”, a voice said from the door. Ciel looked over his shoulder and found The Undertaker standing in the doorway. “Despite everything, you did. You picked a location close to Ciel’s college in hopes that you could see him again and purchased a flat not too far away. Every step you did was to keep Ciel close even though he hurt you because you’re so helplessly head over heels for him.”

The man stepped into the room and Ciel watched him carefully, wondering what game The Undertaker was playing. “I thought you hated me,” he said.

A low chuckle left his throat. “I do, but I also know how much Sebastian cares for you. It was easy to leave at first because he was so mad, but after that anger left, there was nothing but sorrow to take its place. No one wants to see someone they care about so broken and I hated you for that. Until my sources told me just how broken you were as well.”

“You were watching me?” Ciel asked, his arms still around Sebastian’s body, silently offering support to the older male. He could see it in Sebastian’s eyes that the man was about to break. Four years of being strong and taking everything that was thrown at him had torn him down until there was nothing left to hold him up. 

“Of course. I wanted to see what you would do when you realized Sebastian was gone and once you discovered who he was. Couldn’t have you blabbing our secret to the press now could we?” The Undertaker said. “But I was surprised to see how far you went to find him.”

Ciel buried his face into Sebastian’s chest. “He was a ghost. I couldn’t find him anywhere.”

Sebastian chuckled weakly. “Claude grew too cocky and forgot that I could access my account when I was twenty-three. We bided our time until then and after I reached the proper age, slowly started to move everything to different accounts so I could escape his grip. He will never find me now.” He looked down at Ciel. “But you found me. Why?”

“Because I missed you and wanted you back in my life,” Ciel answered. “I was waiting for you to come back from your break but then my father called today to tell me that you quit. It was by chance that I stumbled across you tonight. I took a drive to clear my head. I saw you and followed without any thought. And by the way, how the hell did you get a cruise ship for this shoot?”

A smirk settled across Sebastian’s face despite the situation. It was a neutral topic and was a welcome break from current subject. “I know some people and when they told me that this ship was coming in for renovation, I asked to have it for a month.” He gestured around. “A cruise ship is large and has plenty of places to film something sexy and dirty. You would be surprised at where our cameras placed.”

Ciel rolled his eyes and pressed closer to Sebastian. “Always thinking outside the box. I missed that and I need it back in my life.”

The Undertaker stepped further into the room, his arms crossed over his chest as he brought the previous topic back to the forefront again. “And why do you want him back in your life. What can you possibly offer him that someone else can’t?”

Ciel nibbled on his lower lip before answering. “For four years, Sebastian’s been left to fend for himself, leaning on the people in his company from time to time but mostly taking the brunt of everything. I want to be the person he leans on now, I want to help him in any way I can. I want to be there for him when he thinks he is alone,” he stated, tightening his grip on Sebastian. 

The words sounded cheesy, even to his ears but they were the truth. Ciel wanted to be the one that Sebastian leaned on, the one that Sebastian went to at nights when things were too rough. He wanted everything that came with Sebastian, the good and the bad, and Ciel never wanted to let him go.

“I still can’t forgive you,” Sebastian murmured.

Ciel shook his head. “I don’t expect you too and know that I can’t forgive you just yet either. But I’m not asking you to fuck me and say that you love me right now but instead to at least take me back. To accept my apology so that we can slowly work towards forgiving each other and eventually have what he had before I messed up.”

Sebastian swallowed and Ciel could see the hesitation in crimson eyes. Despite the fact that Sebastian had outwitted Claude when it came to the rules that had been forced on Sebastian, there was one thing that Claude had succeeded in winning. Sebastian was emotionally broken, his trust shattered because of it. The man would always question people’s motives, wondering what their real intention was. Trust would never be something easy for Sebastian. And Ciel hadn’t helped with that either.

Ciel glanced over his shoulder, silently pleading with The Undertaker to help him. If there was one person Sebastian trusted, it was The Undertaker; the one person who stood by Sebastian’s side throughout everything. 

“Sebastian,” the man spoke and slowly approached Sebastian. He leaned in close and whispered something into Sebastian’s ear before pulling back. “I think that this time, you have nothing to fear from giving Ciel another chance. You don’t have to forgive him now, or tomorrow, or even a week from now, nor do you have to trust him. But you’ll never know unless you try.”

“I know,” Sebastian said softly and lowered his head, his eyes closed. Ciel reached up and pressed his hand against Sebastian’s face, nearly sighing in relief when Sebastian covered his hand with his own. “One more try, this is your last one.”

Ciel’s face broke out into a smile. “You won’t regret it,” he breathed and buried his face in Sebastian’s neck. “I promise you won’t regret it,” he said, trembling alongside Sebastian. He would take this chance and prove to Sebastian that it was the right choice. Now that he had Sebastian back, he was never letting go.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahead in this chapter! Please check the tags :)

13.

Fire crackled and popped in the fireplace as Ciel watched the snow fall lightly outside. It was late December and Christmas had already passed, with Ciel having spent the holidays at home with his parents and enjoying everything the holidays had to offer. It had been a good day, filled with presents and food, but there had been one thing missing that would’ve made the day perfect.

Sebastian.

Despite the offer to come and enjoy Christmas with Ciel and his family, Sebastian had turned the offer down. He said that it wasn’t fair to The Undertaker who celebrated Christmas with him every year after Tanaka’s death and that now, it was almost a tradition to spend it with the man. Ciel had grumbled and sulked after that until Sebastian promised that they would spend the New Year’s together and that, if Ciel wanted, they could have a late Christmas.

The news had perked Ciel up considerably and two days ago, they had enjoyed their first Christmas together. The bag filled with crumpled wrapping paper was still propped against the wall where it had been placed there two days ago and Ciel gazed at it before turning to look out the window once more.

The weatherman had called for several more inches of snow tonight and Ciel wrapped the blanket tighter around his body. They wouldn’t be going anywhere tomorrow if the snow kept falling the way it was predicted to. And by all accounts, that was just fine with Ciel. There would be nothing better than spending the day with Sebastian in the man’s condominium. 

It had been four months since Ciel found Sebastian near his college and in that time, things had progressed slowly to where they were now. Sebastian had been slow to forgive and trust, something Ciel had expected but he worked hard to make sure that Sebastian didn’t regret his choice. 

Their friendship was strained at first, the betrayal hanging heavily on Sebastian’s mind, and the only thing they could do the first few weeks was play chess. It was familiar and soothing, allowing them to talk casually while they played and as time passed, Ciel could see the hesitation and fear slowly easing away until Sebastian was able to look at him again with normal eyes. 

It was mid-September by then, and a week and a half before Sebastian’s birthday, they shared a kiss in the park behind Sebastian’s condo for the first time since July. It had been soft and filled with questions, but after their lips pressed together, those questions had melted away like the snow in spring. 

After that, sparks of the Sebastian that Ciel knew came to life before Ciel’s eyes. The man was playful, teasing, perverted, and just…Sebastian. Everything that Ciel liked about the man seemed to bloom in front of Ciel as the doubt and hesitation faded away, leaving behind the man that Ciel knew. It was a sign that things were changing and Ciel felt as though a weight had been lifted off his chest. 

By the time Sebastian’s birthday rolled around in late September, things were back to normal between them, the questions of betrayal no longer floating over their heads. The day had been celebrated at DIE, as it had been every year, with cake and presents. Ciel’s present though, was given privately to Sebastian that night in the form of a blow job.

It was something that Ciel had been sure to take slow, as up until that time, the only thing they had done was kiss and innocently touch. But that night had marked the first change of their growing relationship and Ciel was all too happy to because of it. It had been the first time Ciel had seen Sebastian naked and he marveled at the beautiful body underneath him.

In Ciel’s mind, Sebastian was lanky and lacking in muscle, almost like a teenager who was going through puberty. That night though, Ciel had been proved wrong and he could only stare down at the lean body, knowing that he had almost lost this, had almost lost Sebastian. And the more Ciel looked at Sebastian, the more he realized that Claude had nothing on Sebastian. They both had well defined bodies but Sebastian was built more like a swimmer with lean muscles compared to Claude who was a little more broad.

That night, Ciel had delighted in licking over the well-defined abs, tracing each one with his tongue until Sebastian was panting his name. Ciel had thoroughly explored Sebastian, touching every part of the older male that he could and memorizing each sensitive patch so he could remember it for next time.

And Sebastian was very sensitive, as Ciel discovered that night. There was a patch of skin right above his left hip bone that could make Sebastian melt in Ciel’s arms at the right touch and another spot on the man’s neck. But perhaps the place that made Sebastian come undone the quickest were his ears. Ciel had stumbled across that one by accident a few weeks later when they were cooking a new dish together.

In typical fashion, Ciel had found something to mess up and pulled the beaters out of the batter too quickly, resulting in Sebastian’s face taking the majority of the mess. Ciel was quick to clean up the mess (with his tongue of course, because who could resist cake batter?) and the moan that had left Sebastian’s mouth when Ciel’s tongue brushed over the man’s ear was absolutely delicious.

The cake batter was pushed to the side as Sebastian let Ciel tease and torture him with the new found erogenous spot while their erections rubbed against each other until the pleasure had peaked and they came in their pants. After that, they simply relaxed against the counter, lazily kissing and touching until Ciel complained about the cum in his pants.

After that, Sebastian was sure to choose recipes that wouldn’t make such a big mess if Ciel were to mess up again. And in the end, they never did finish making the cake that day.

That had been early October and by then, it had been a month and a half since Ciel found Sebastian. And if Ciel counted the months they had spent together beforehand, then they had been friends for close to four months. A large part of Ciel longed to ask Sebastian out by then, he knew Sebastian was the one he wanted, but Ciel had promised himself that he would let Sebastian make that first move.

In Ciel’s mind, he had lost that right and figured that it was only fair to let Sebastian decide when they were ready to become something more than friends. In a sense, they could already be considered that, as Ciel had the keys to Sebastian’s condo and was there enough that he practically lived there. But they weren’t officially dating and Ciel had to resign himself to that fact.

However, Ciel found that he didn’t have to wait as long as he thought he would and a week later, Sebastian had casually brought up the question; through a note. While Ciel found the whole thing rather endearing it had only further cemented the proof in Ciel’s mind that Claude had caused some lasting damage to Sebastian.

Because even though Sebastian was comfortable with Ciel and seemed to trust him, there were a few times when Sebastian would fall back onto old habits and the hesitation in those crimson eyes returned. Such habits as leaving a note for Ciel when he wasn’t comfortable with asking or telling him something. 

Ciel knew that Sebastian was strong, both physically and mentally, but emotionally, he was scarred. Ciel could see it in Sebastian’s eyes at times, the way the man would stare out the window, pondering everything and no doubt wondering if Ciel would leave him again or if everything was just an elaborate plan. Usually Sebastian would resort to notes when the thoughts grew too strong and it was a silent hint for Ciel to step in to reassure the man.

The notes had decreased in the weeks leading up to Sebastian asking the question and the moment Ciel saw the piece of paper sitting on his pillow that night, elegant writing flowing across the paper, Ciel hunted Sebastian down without thought. He found the man in his office, editing videos for the new release to keep his mind busy.

A kiss had been placed on Sebastian’s temple as Ciel drew the man into his arms, silently providing Sebastian the emotional support he needed. No words were needed as Ciel’s actions spoke louder than words as Sebastian relaxed in his arms. Crimson eyes searched his face for any malevolence and after finding none, Ciel watched as the remaining doubt that had clung stubbornly to Sebastian, faded away.

They spent the rest of the night indulging themselves in Sebastian’s office; or at least as far as Sebastian would allow them to go. They were intimate, but not overly so; there was still a line that hadn’t been crossed yet. Things between them would move slowly, Ciel knew that much and was fine with it. Every day that they spent together, Ciel was able to learn something new about Sebastian and that was enough for him.

With each day that passed, Sebastian’s eyes grew lighter until The Undertaker claimed that Sebastian was back to his old self, something he hadn’t seen after Tanaka’s death. And Ciel was determined to keep them that way no matter what. He had been able to convince Sebastian to sing for him several times after that and found that he loved the man’s voice. It was deep and sensual, and when Sebastian sang to him softly at night, right in his ear, it was downright arousing.

But all the progress that happened over the months nearly came crashing down around them when they ran into Claude a day before Halloween. 

Sebastian needed a specialty food for a meal he wanted to make and his supplier for foreign delicacies was close to Funtom. It had been a risk, but the chances of them running into Claude were low. Or so they thought. They spent nearly an hour inside the store, Sebastian searching the shelves for new spices and ended up picking several curry spices to experiment with.

After paying for everything, they left the shop and made their way to the car, only to run into Claude in the parking lot. Sebastian, for his part, didn’t freeze up and stare at Claude with wide eyes, as Ciel thought he would. Instead, he simply inclined his head to Claude and went to climb into the car.

He was stopped by Claude, who placed a hand on Sebastian’s arm to keep him from getting into the car and for a moment, Ciel feared there would be a fight. But Claude simply looked over Sebastian and nodded his head before speaking. “You look good, Sebastian and it seems that Ciel chose you over me. How interesting.” He leaned in closer. “But you know that he doesn’t really love you, he never will, no one ever will.”

“Go to hell, Claude,” Sebastian spat and knocked his arm away. 

Claude chuckled. “You never change, Sebastian. Using your anger to hide your denial, because you know it’s true. You know that he’ll leave you and come back to me. Everyone you loves ends up leaving you, don’t they little brother.” He smirked. “Mother, father, Tanaka, and soon Ciel. And then you’ll be all alone with nothing. Just. Like. Always.”

Ciel pushed Sebastian into the car after that and climbed over the man, trembling with anger. “Drive Sebastian,” he snapped as he reached over Sebastian and slammed the door shut. He offered one last glare to Claude as Sebastian started the car and pulled away from the parking spot, leaving Claude behind.

They made it back to the condo without any problems, surprisingly and it made Ciel wonder if Sebastian had even been affected by Claude’s words. He was rather surprised they hadn’t, considering the man had hit all the right buttons and Ciel kept a close eye on Sebastian for the rest of the day. Sebastian though, had handled the rest of the day with his usual vigor and had cooked a dinner of curry with the spices he bought earlier.

It wasn’t until night though that the strong façade Sebastian had been holding throughout the day came crashing down. Claude had impeccable timing. Ciel was due to be at a Halloween Eve release that night for Claude’s newest CD and it was something he had been dreading going to but couldn’t exactly get out of. He told Sebastian goodbye and as he was giving him a kiss goodbye, felt something press into his hand.

Ciel’s heart nearly stopped when he felt that it was a note and quickly realized that the encounter with Claude had affected Sebastian more than he let on. Three words were written on the paper ‘you’ll be back?’ and Ciel felt his anger at Claude bubble to the surface once more. 

“I’m sorry, Ciel,” Sebastian murmured and Ciel could see that Sebastian was trying to fight the emotions and doubt that were racing through him. His mind was warring with his emotions and it was a struggle that Sebastian would always have to face until the scar that Claude left healed. Sebastian hated it, Ciel knew that; he hated doubting Ciel the way he did and the relapses that happened. 

“Sebastian,” Ciel muttered softly and pulled the man down for a tender kiss. “It’s okay, don’t apologize. Listen to me. I’ll be back, I promise. Never listen to what Claude says, because he doesn’t know anything. I want you, don’t doubt that.”

Sebastian’s eyes closed and he covered Ciel’s hands with his own. “I know,” he whispered. “I know you do.”

“I have to go to this release, my father told me as much,” Ciel said. “But I can put an ear piece in if you want, that way you can hear me the whole time I’m gone.” It had been the only thing Ciel could think of that would help with the current situation.

But Sebastian shook his head and pressed a kiss to his palm. “No. I…I trust you and I know you’ll be back,” he said, voice strong and sure. If there was one thing Sebastian didn’t like, it was not being in control of things, and Sebastian would fight to get his emotions and trust back in his control. 

The words had made Ciel smile and he gave another kiss to Sebastian. “Yes,” he breathed. “I’ll be back. I promise.”

They parted after that and Ciel went to the release, making sure to keep his phone on hand at all times just in case Sebastian relapsed again. But his phone stayed silent and Ciel wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. The event seemed to drag by and it was close to midnight when Ciel was able to leave.

It didn’t take him long to return back to Sebastian’s condo, traffic was light and he broke several speed limits along the way but Ciel couldn’t bring himself to care. He quickly found Sebastian asleep on the bed, iPod playing quietly and a book open on his lap. Ciel had let out a soft sigh of relief at the sight, knowing that Sebastian’s mind had quieted down if he had been able to fall asleep.

The iPod and book were set to the side and Ciel quickly changed into his night clothes before crawling into the bed. The slight dip woke Sebastian up and the older male looked at him, eyes searching for something before drawing Ciel into a tender kiss. They didn’t say anything after that, Sebastian simply wrapping his arms around Ciel’s waist before falling back asleep.

Ciel had watched him with a triumphant smile, knowing that Sebastian had battled against his demons and won this round. The scar that Claude had left was slowly healing and try as Claude might, Sebastian was stronger than whatever Claude would throw at him. 

That had been almost two months ago and Ciel had seen the scar was healing, slowly but surely. There hadn’t been anymore notes since then and their relationship had grown all the more. The trust between them was back and Ciel had enjoyed every minute spent with Sebastian. Even their late Christmas had been something wonderful.

Sebastian had cooked them dinner and they had exchanged presents next to the fireplace while a tiny black kitten named Soot watched them with curious eyes. She had delighted in fighting with the wrapping paper and ribbons that littered the floor, and Ciel was temporarily ignored as Sebastian cooed over her. 

Ciel had discovered the tiny kitten when he was first invited to Sebastian’s condo and could only shake his head at Sebastian, calling him a cat addict. Sebastian had simply hushed him with a wave of his hand and had refused to talk about it again which led to Ciel understand that he would have to accept the kitten if he wanted Sebastian. 

Said kitten was currently asleep at the foot of Ciel’s blanket while he waited for Sebastian to come back from his shower. A quick glance at the clock showed that Sebastian had been in the shower for nearly two hours and Ciel scowled. He knew Sebastian liked to be clean and enjoyed a long hot shower but two hours was a bit extensive.

With a low growl, Ciel tossed the blanket off his body and ignored Soot’s cry as it covered her. He chanced a quick look back over his shoulder to make sure she was okay and once he saw her padding out from under the blanket, Ciel continued down the hallway. Sebastian would have his head if something happened to the kitten.

Ciel had originally thought that Sebastian had been low on money, which was the reason behind the small apartment, but he had been far from the truth. Sebastian had money, almost as much as Claude; something Ciel found ironic and hilarious. DIE was famous and successful, pulling in hefty profits with each release and Sebastian had carefully saved the money away, letting it build and grow until the day he could leave.

That, combined with the large amount of money Tanaka left behind had insured that Sebastian wouldn’t be crawling back to Claude anytime soon. Sebastian could easily support himself with his company and had been for the past four years. It was how Sebastian was able to pay Finny for bringing the groceries to his apartment. Such a thing was so low key that it had happened under Claude’s nose without the man even knowing.

Now that he was free from Claude’s grip, Sebastian had been able to pay for the classes that Finny’s brother needed to take. Finny had been able to quit his job at the store and would visit from time to time, bringing his brother on some occasions. Ciel had watched them interact with Sebastian, their hands flying as they talked.

It was memorizing to watch and Ciel made sure to keep his own studies up so he could share another thing with Sebastian. Often times, he would practice with Bard, Finny’s brother, as the man was still learning as well. They had both improved over the months and Ciel found that he could hold a conversation for a decent amount of time. 

Ciel toyed with the idea of yelling at Sebastian in sign language when he found the man but figured that Sebastian would only find the action endearing. That being said, the thoughts were pushed to the side and Ciel grumbled to himself as he pushed open the bedroom door. Heat washed over him and Ciel grunted slightly at the warmth, wondering why it was so warm in the bedroom.

He opened his mouth to call for Sebastian again as Ciel moved further into the bedroom, his annoyance mounting ever so slightly. There was a noise behind him but before he could turn to see what it was, his eyes were covered with a soft blindfold and knotted tightly behind his head. 

“Took you long enough to come back here,” a voice murmured, hot breath fanning over his ear.

“Sebastian,” Ciel moaned and pushed back into the older male. Hot hands trailed over his body before they pushed up under his shirt, touching skin lightly until gooseflesh spread across the surface. “Don’t stop,” Ciel whispered. 

Behind him, Sebastian shook his head. “I don’t plan to. I’ll take you to the highest heights of pleasure tonight and mark you as my own. Would you like that Ciel?” He purred lowly. “Would you like me to take you long into the night?”

Ciel shivered harshly at the words, arousal already racing through his veins. Excitement blossomed in his chest at the thought of what they would do tonight and Ciel’s eyes slipped closed as he realized what it meant. Sebastian would only let this happen if he trusted him, honestly trusted him, and all sense of doubt was gone. 

That thought nearly had Ciel’s knees buckling with relief and he murmured Sebastian’s name as he was turned around in the man’s arms. His arms wound around Sebastian’s body, pulling them closer and Ciel nuzzled Sebastian’s neck. “Thank you,” he said softly, knowing that Sebastian would understand. 

With this action, Sebastian was taking the final step in trusting Ciel, putting everything forward and showing Ciel that he wasn’t holding back any more. Any fears and doubts were gone, Sebastian had battled his demons over this, and won. No doubt there would be times when the demons would rear their heads again but that was something Sebastian would be able to handle now, and should things be too much, Ciel was always willing to step in.

Sebastian’s arms tightened around him and Ciel tilted his head to the side to accept the warm kiss Sebastian was offering. His eyes slid shut and Ciel let himself feel as their lips pressed together, unspoken words passing between them. They broke apart after a moment and Ciel felt Sebastian’s fingers tracing over the blindfold.

“Are you sure?” The man murmured. “Are you sure you want to throw away a chance at the spotlight where you can shine? It’s not too late to go back and you can save yourself from living life in the shadows.”

Ciel smirked and he grabbed Sebastian’s hand. A soft kiss was placed to the palm and Ciel glanced up at the spot where Sebastian’s face was. “I think I like being embraced by the darkness, so long as you’re in it as well. Claude can have his spotlight. The shadows are much more fun and they have you.” 

Sebastian hummed softly and pressed a kiss to Ciel’s temple. “You’re my fallen star,” he muttered, his lips curling into a smile at the thought. “I love you,” he whispered softly.

Ciel’s grip tightened around Sebastian and he felt his heart race at the words. He had longed to hear those words for months now. He knew Sebastian loved him, could tell every time they kissed. But to hear Sebastian say them finally, had Ciel pressing closer to the man and drawing him in for a passionate kiss; one that let Sebastian know exactly how he felt.

“I love you too,” Ciel murmured when they broke apart. “I really, honestly do. I’m just sorry that it took me so long to realize it.” Even if it had only been a few short months since they started their relationship, Ciel knew what he was feeling and had been waiting patiently for Sebastian to say the words first. Only then would Ciel be able to answer.

“Hush,” Sebastian breathed and his mouth trailed up Ciel’s neck. “Will you let me pull you into the shadows?”

Ciel tilted his head to the side, giving Sebastian more room. “You already have,” he answered, voice breathless as teeth nipped at his skin. “Now you have to make sure you never let me go.”

Sebastian purred low in his chest. “With pleasure.”

Ciel gasped as the once gentle teeth bit harshly at his skin, making him jerk in Sebastian’s arms. Pleasure sparked throughout his body and Ciel shuddered as another mark was given to his body. He welcomed each mark though and let Sebastian brand him for the entire world to see. Sebastian was his, just as Ciel was Sebastian’s. Nothing was going to separate them now.

He grasped Sebastian’s arms and pulled him closer until their bodies were pressed together, letting Ciel feel Sebastian’s arousal. He reached down to cup the bulge in the man’s pants and chuckled lowly. “Someone is anxious,” he murmured, rubbing the cock through Sebastian’s pants. Lust raced through Ciel’s body at the moan that left Sebastian’s throat and he could feel his own length twitching in interest.

“You’ve been teasing me since you dragged into my office that very first day,” Sebastian answered and took a step back towards the bed. “So many things that I wanted to do and I’ve had months now to think about them. To perfect my technique.”

Ciel cocked his head. “What do you mean?” He asked.

A low chuckle left Sebastian’s mouth. “Come now, Ciel,” he purred. “I run a porn company and write the scripts for each season. You don’t think I sit back and watch everything do you? I’m always an eager student when it comes to learning new techniques and I’ve picked up several since I started running DIE.”

“You haven’t been intimate with others I hope,” Ciel stated, giving a sharp tug at the shirt Sebastian wore.

Sebastian grunted. “Recently, no. But there were times in the past when I was.” He gave a small shove to Ciel’s shoulder. “But now isn’t the time to be talking about that, not when you flushed and sprawled out on my bed like this.”

Ciel shivered and looked up to where he thought Sebastian was. “And what are you going to do?” He purred.

“First I’m going to take off your clothes,” Sebastian answered, his fingers finding the bottom of Ciel’s shirt. “And then I’m going to make you forget everything.”

The shirt was slipped slowly from Ciel’s torso, the warmth in the room wrapping around him and making Ciel realize how warm it was. He didn’t bother to question why though as a hot mouth descended onto the exposed skin, sucking at a spot above his collarbone. Sebastian’s mouth moved down slowly, his tongue tracing a path down to Ciel’s nipple and Ciel moaned as Sebastian lapped at it lightly.

Ciel’s fingers laced through dark hair, his anchor to Sebastian. He couldn’t see anything and was at the man’s mercy. He could only guess what Sebastian was going to do next and it made all the nerves in his body alert for anything that could happen. It made the whole situation all the more arousing and Ciel’s hips bucked as Sebastian nipped at his nipple.

“More,” Ciel demanded, his fingers tugging at Sebastian’s hair as he tried to guide him to the neglected nipple. He panted as Sebastian pulled away from him, small beads of sweat trickling down Ciel’s body from the heat in the room. His body was already covered in a fine layer of sweat and Ciel licked away the sweat that had gathered on his upper lip. “Sebastian,” he moaned, holding out his hand for the older male.

A shout left Ciel’s mouth as something cold and wet dripped onto his chest, making him jerk on the bed. He went to wipe the offending liquid away but his hands were batted away and equally cold fingers pinched his nipple. Ciel’s eyes shot open under the blindfold and he screamed Sebastian’s name as another cold object rubbed over his other nipple.

“What the fuck is that?” Ciel shouted, his back arching off the bed at the sensation. It was so cold on his hot body and the heat in the room only made him that much more sensitive to the cold touch. His body felt conflicted and he didn’t know whether to pull away or push into Sebastian’s touch. 

“An ice cube,” Sebastian answered and the small cube on Ciel’s nipple was spun around. “I purposely made the room hot for this reason. The two extremes will make you sensitive to every touch on your body and have you craving more.”

Ciel tossed his head back and forth as Sebastian’s cold fingers slowly moved down his torso. He didn’t know what to think of the difference in temperatures, but he found that his body was arching into the touch, asking for more. The cool fingers felt wonderful on his overheated skin and his nerves screamed for more.

The simple touches alone were enough to have Ciel’s hips bucking off the bed as he sought more pleasure. He jerked as Sebastian’s mouth started to follow the path his fingers made, making the sensation of hot to cold double even more until Ciel was pulling harshly at Sebastian’s hair, trying to make him stop before he came early.

His pants weren’t even off and already Ciel could feel the pleasure mounting. “Sebastian, please,” Ciel moaned, tugging again at Sebastian’s hair. “Stop teasing.”

“Stop?” Sebastian breathed, his breath ghosting across Ciel’s neck. “But I haven’t even touched down here yet,” he said and slipped his fingers past the waistband of Ciel’s sweats. 

Chilly fingers curled around the hard length and Ciel howled at the touch. “You’re going to make me cum,” he shouted in frustration.

“That’s the point,” Sebastian answered before lowering his head once more. 

There was a small pause before lips touched Ciel’s skin again and he jerked as he realized that Sebastian was holding an ice cube between his lips as he moved down. Hot and cold, the feelings warred for each other as Ciel thrashed on the bed until at last, Sebastian reached his pants. Curious fingers traced along the edges before Sebastian slowly slipped the material down Ciel’s legs until they caught at his knees.

Ciel held his breath as he felt a finger trace the thick vein on the underside of his cock until it reached the tip. It circled around the head before cool breath fanned over it, making Ciel twitch on the bed. “Sebastian,” he moaned, his eyes fluttering shut as his hazy mind supplied him exactly what Sebastian was going to do next.

It still didn’t stop the shout of surprise that left his throat as Sebastian took him into his mouth, still cool from the ice cube. It was a new sensation and Ciel found that it drove him crazy. Sebastian’s fingers stroked his sides as he slowly bobbed his head, pressing a cool tongue against his cock. Ciel could only imagine how Sebastian looked, lips red and stretched around his cock as the older male moved up and down slowly. 

A shiver worked through Ciel’s body as Sebastian’s tongue pressed into the slit before the older male gave a small suck to the swollen head. Ciel’s hips arched off the bed at the feeling and he brought his hand to his mouth, pressing it against his lips to hold back all the sounds leaving his mouth. 

Sebastian’s mouth was warming up and Ciel bucked into the warm mouth as Sebastian continued to tease him more. The older male let him roll his hips up and Ciel thrust into the sinful mouth without any thought. His eyes rolled back into his head as Sebastian started to bob his head slightly, his cheeks hollow as Ciel continued to thrust.

Heat and pleasure built up and just as Ciel thought he was going to come, Sebastian pulled away with a small pop. Ciel whined with frustration at the loss and went to glare at Sebastian, only to remember that he was blindfolded. “Tease,” he moaned instead and felt Sebastian pull the pants off until Ciel was lying bare on the bed. 

Hands brushed over his body before the settled on his hips. “I think you’re just as much a tease as I am,” Sebastian said, voice thick with want and desire. He tugged at Ciel’s hips, sliding him off the bed until only his torso remained. “Roll over and put your feet on the floor,” he ordered.

Ciel grunted but listened anyway, finding that it was easier said than done, especially blindfolded. But once he was on his stomach, he glanced over his shoulder to look at Sebastian and gave his ass a small shake. “Do I arouse you?” He purred.

“Very much so,” Sebastian answered. “It’ll arouse me more if you push your hips back a little more.”

Ciel flushed and did as Sebastian suggested. “That only makes my ass stick out more. Is that what you wanted? To see it bare and exposed before you?”

Sebastian chuckled and ran a hand over the skin. “Something like that,” he answered.

Eyebrows furrowed and Ciel ran the words over in his mind, wanting to ask what Sebastian meant but was stopped by a harsh smack to his bare skin. His head shot up and Ciel squawked. “What the hell was that for?!” He shouted, the skin on his ass stinging.

“For all the months that you put me through torture,” Sebastian whispered into his ear before smacking Ciel’s ass again. “I want to say that it was close to twelve, but my mind is a bit hazy right now. Maybe you should keep count for me so I don’t forget and go over.”

Ciel moaned as another blow landed on his bottom and his fingers clenched the sheets. If he had been any more aware, he would’ve laughed at Sebastian for removing the comforter so it wouldn’t get dirty. Instead, he could only gasp out ‘three’ before two more were given in quick succession.

“F-five,” Ciel panted and squeezed his eyes. As Sebastian continued, he found that it was harder to keep track of what number they were on and Ciel had to shift his feet as they approached ten. His skin was on fire and was sensitive to each blow, making Ciel feel them all the more. By the time they reached twelve, he was sobbing from the mix of pain and pleasure and nearly collapsed to the floor the moment the number left his mouth.

He trembled as Sebastian pressed a soft kiss to the small of his back and Ciel could feel his cock, hard and jutting out from his groin while precum beaded at the tip. Ciel’s face flushed with embarrassment at having been so turned on by such a thing and he buried his face in the sheets as Sebastian pressed up against him.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Sebastian murmured. “That was very arousing, watching you take all those.” 

Hands brushed lightly over the red skin and Ciel shivered at the touch, his body still sensitive. But the soft touches were a welcoming gesture after the harsh ones and Ciel moaned lowly. He felt a hand travel around his hip until it came around to the front of his body and fingers brushed ever so lightly against his straining dick.

Ciel’s body bucked and jerked as his orgasm raced over him without warning, the simple touch being just enough to send him over the edge. He shouted Sebastian’s name as wave after wave of pleasure washed over him until Ciel could only slump against the side of the bed when he was done.

His legs trembled on the floor and Ciel could barely move when Sebastian scooped him off the carpet, placing him gently on the bed. Ciel hissed as his sore bottom touched the sheets but a soft kiss cut off further complaints while Sebastian worked to untie the blindfold. When it came off, Ciel blinked several times until the room came into focus.

Blue eyes settled on Sebastian hovering over him and Ciel reached up to brush over the man’s cheek. “You’re really good at this,” he murmured.

“Would you like me to continue all the way or would it be better to stop now?” Sebastian asked, turning his head to press a kiss to the inside of Ciel’s wrist.

Ciel tugged at Sebastian’s hand. “If you stop now, I’ll turn you around and fuck you myself.”

Crimson eyes glowed with delight. “That sounds promising,” he answered but reached forward to pin Ciel’s hands to the bed. “But for now, your ass is mine,” he purred. 

“Then you better fix this problem,” Ciel stated, gesturing to his flaccid cock. “Can’t do anything when it’s like this.”

Sebastian chuckled and rolled away from Ciel. “Would you like me to strip for you?” He teased as he climbed off the bed and his fingers came up to slip the buttons through their holes.

Ciel watched with rapt attention as more pale skin was slowly revealed and he licked his lips as the last button was undone. The shirt hung on Sebastian’s shoulders and Ciel watched as the man practically slunk up to the bed, placing his hands on the bed and trapping Ciel with his arms. Ciel’s breath hitched as Sebastian leaned in close, as though he was going to kiss his cheek and Ciel’s eyes closed, waiting for the touch.

It never came and instead the bed dipped around Ciel, making his eyes snap open to see Sebastian kneeling over his legs on the bed. Ciel reached forward to grab Sebastian’s hips but his hands were brushed away and the man slowly lowered his body until he was sitting on Ciel’s lap. 

“I think I need help with the button on my pants,” Sebastian whispered huskily, his lips brushing over Ciel’s ear. “Will you help me?”

Ciel nodded absentmindedly and reached forward, fingers brushing over the fabric of Sebastian’s pants. They found the button without any problem and slipped it through the hole before drifting down to rub lightly over the bulge in the pants. His wrist was caught just before they could touch and like a dancer, Sebastian fluidly slipped away.

Sebastian rolled his shoulders, the shirt sliding down to catch in the crook of his arms while his hands trailed up his torso. They stopped at his exposed nipples, pausing to tweak and tease them until they were hard and standing at attention. Soft pants and noises fell from Sebastian’s mouth as he rubbed small circles over them and Ciel shifted on the bed, trying hard to keep still.

“Sebastian,” he moaned and his fingers twitched on the bed, holding back from touching himself.

The nipples were abandoned and Sebastian’s hands started to move back down his body, the shirt slowly sliding further down Sebastian’s back. Ciel watched the shirt carefully, wanting it to fall to the floor so Sebastian’s torso would be bare to him. But it seemed that Sebastian was content to keep it on his body for a while longer.

Sebastian moaned loudly as his hand palmed his covered cock, hips bucking into the touch. “Ciel,” he groaned and rolled his hips forward.

“Oh fuck,” Ciel hissed and before he could stop himself, his hand was around his cock and he was surprised to find it hard already. He stroked himself, bringing himself back to full hardness as he continued to watch Sebastian.

The man had hooked his fingers in the waistband of his pants and was slowly rocking his hips to a beat in his head while the pants were pulled down at an agonizingly slow pace. They finally dropped to the ground, leaving Sebastian in nothing but his boxers and a shirt that needed to come off now, in Ciel’s opinion.

Ciel raised his hand and cocked his finger, calling Sebastian over with a small smirk. Sebastian chuckled lowly and glided over to the bed, hips rocking slightly until he reached Ciel. “Yes?” He purred.

“Let me help you with that,” Ciel stated and ungracefully yanked the boxers off. They pooled around Sebastian’s feet before they were kicked away and Ciel eyed the shirt. “The shirt,” he stated.

Sebastian slipped it off and held it up. “I’m rather proud of myself,” he said. “No buttons were lost.” The shirt was tossed aside and Sebastian leaned forward again, trapping Ciel on the bed. “I think that calls for an award.”

Ciel smirked and reached up to loop his arms around Sebastian’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. He tumbled back onto the bed, dragging Sebastian down with him. His legs parted, letting the older male rest between them and he hissed as their erections brushed against each other. “I think the time for foreplay is over,” he murmured. “You can’t strip twice.”

“I could,” Sebastian answered but rolled away regardless. 

Ciel moved further up the bed as Sebastian grabbed the lube and he watched as the man coated his fingers with the slippery substance. He laughed as the scent of cinnamon assaulted his nose and found that it helped to take away the edge that had filled his body earlier. This was something he had been waiting for. The trust that Sebastian was giving showed that he forgave him and was willing to trust him full heartedly. 

That knowledge had Ciel relaxing against the bedding as Sebastian hovered over him. “Come here,” he murmured lowly and pressed his lips to Sebastian’s mouth as soon as the man was close enough. They kissed slowly and tenderly, sharing emotions and feelings with the seemingly simple action until they parted ever so slightly to look at each other.

A warm finger nudged Ciel’s entrance and slowly pushed in as Ciel drew Sebastian into another kiss. The first finger didn’t hurt and Ciel draped his arms around Sebastian’s shoulders once more. He wanted to feel the man all around and in him, to have that constant feeling so he could appreciate all that Sebastian had to offer.

Because at one point, he had almost lost all this. Had almost lost everything that Sebastian was and everything Sebastian was giving him now. But it wasn’t about the sex now, it was about trust, feeling, and so much more. It was about everything they had to offer each other and never taking it for granted. 

It was about everything they shared and what they would share in the future. Emotions, words, touches, and trust. Those things that people take advantage of because they had never come close to losing them. But Ciel had and he knew just how important they were, how important Sebastian was. 

Three fingers thrust in and out of Ciel and he couldn’t even remember when Sebastian had added the last two. He moaned into the kiss, silently pleading with Sebastian to hurry. His hips rocked down to meet Sebastian’s fingers as the stretched and teased him. The older male was purposely missing his prostate and Ciel could feel the smirk on Sebastian’s lips.

“Se—Sebastian,” he growled, only to have the words leave his mouth in an embarrassing groan. 

“Yes?” Sebastian asked, breath fanning across his face. A kiss was given to the tip of his nose before the fingers were removed. “I should make you beg,” he purred, reaching for the lube.

Ciel glared at him. “You would get off on something like that, wouldn’t you,” he stated. His eyes watched Sebastian’s hand as it moved over the swollen flesh and Ciel found himself licking his lips.

Sebastian smirked and settled himself in between Ciel’s legs again. “Perhaps,” he murmured and drew pale legs to wrap around his waist. “Will you let me take you like this? I want to see your face.”

Ciel nodded and ran his hands down Sebastian’s chest, feeling the hard muscle under his fingers. “I would like that,” he said shyly, feeling the hard length nudge against his stretched entrance. He tugged Sebastian closer as the man started to push in, feeling his muscles burn and stretch around Sebastian. 

Tears pricked at his eyes and Ciel felt Sebastian lick away the wetness before trailing soft kisses over his face and neck. It helped to distract Ciel from the pain and he bucked slightly as Sebastian took his flagging erection in his hand, slowly stroking it back to hardness. Ciel’s nails dug into Sebastian’s back and he shouted as Sebastian’s teeth found his skin.

“Ba-bastard,” he hissed. “You said you d-don’t bite.” 

Sebastian trembled above him. “Hush,” he said and rolled his hips forward slightly, trying to quell the urge to start thrusting into the tight heat around him. 

Ciel’s head tipped back on the bed, exposing more of his neck for Sebastian, something the older male eagerly took. Teeth nipped and lips sucked before Ciel started to rock his hips against Sebastian, slowly meeting the small thrusts that Sebastian was giving. “Move,” he gasped and nearly groaned when Sebastian listened, pulling back slowly until only the tip remained.

A cry left his mouth as Sebastian’s hips snapped forward and Ciel’s nails dug even more into Sebastian’s skin. Pleasure raced through his body and Ciel’s toes curled slightly at the feeling. His eyes slipped shut and his mouth opened as Sebastian started a steady pace, and for a moment, all Ciel could do was clutch at Sebastian. 

He could feel Sebastian all around him and Ciel grasped at Sebastian’s arms while his legs pulled the man closer. He wanted to feel all that Sebastian to offer; needed to know that this wasn’t a dream. 

Ciel gasped as pleasure made his eyes snap open. “There,” he gasped and pushed back to meet Sebastian’s thrusts.

They rocked together, the sweat on their bodies making them slide against each other easier until Ciel was starting to meet Sebastian’s thrusts with his own, drawing the built up pleasure to an even higher peak that threatened to wash over them at any minute. It was too much all at once and Ciel trembled on the bed as he could feel the heat coiling. 

Sebastian’s teeth nipped along Ciel’s neck as Ciel continued to rock against him and he groaned lowly at the feeling. Ciel’s name fell from his mouth as the younger male clenched around him and he caught the teasing look in Ciel’s eyes. A smirk crossed Sebastian’s face, knowing that Ciel was egging him on.

Blue eyes widened as Sebastian slowed down, his thrusts long and drawn out, keeping Ciel’s orgasm at bay. Ciel tossed his head from side to side and bucked his hips up, urging Sebastian to continue the same fast pace as before. “Se-Sebastian!” Ciel cried in frustration. His nails raked at Sebastian’s arms, drawing red lines down the pale skin. 

“You beg so nicely,” Sebastian purred and slipped out, drawing a disappointed whine from Ciel. “Scoot down to the edge of the bed,” he murmured.

Ciel eyed Sebastian curiously but slowly wiggled his way to the side of the bed until his shoulders brushed the edge of the mattress. Sebastian’s hands grabbed his hips, keeping him from going any further and Ciel moaned lowly as the older male pressed his body up against his. The intimacy from before was back and Ciel went to reach for Sebastian, only to have the man drape his body over him.

Ciel’s legs moved to wrap around Sebastian’s waist again, drawing them closer and he could feel the hard cock slipping and rubbing against his ass. He whined at the feeling, wanting more.

“Head back,” Sebastian muttered next to his ear and nibbled at it. “And arms back. Relax them so they’re limp against the floor.”

Hesitantly, Ciel tilted his head back and relaxed his arms as Sebastian suggested, feeling a bit silly in the current position. All thoughts of that fled from his mind as Sebastian thrust back in suddenly and Ciel felt all the blood rush to his head; making him moan loudly. Lips attacked his exposed neck as Sebastian started a fast pace that had Ciel seeing stars with each brush over his prostate.

Sebastian’s arms cradled around him, pressing against his chest and giving him perfect access to lick and nip at his neck and collar bone. “Yes, fuck yes,” Ciel moaned and his eyes closed as pleasure raced through his body, toes and fingertips tingling. His hips bucked and rolled to meet Sebastian’s thrusts while his dick rubbed against Sebastian’s stomach, providing delicious friction that had Ciel panting heavily. 

He could feel Sebastian’s eyes on him and Ciel tilted his head up slightly, eyes opening to see crimson eyes staring at him. They were dark and filled with lust, emotion swimming deep within them. Emotions that were only for Ciel and no one else. Ciel reached up, his fingers shaking slightly as he tugged on Sebastian’s hair, drawing him into a kiss while they continued to rock towards completion.

Sebastian’s arm came up to support his back and Ciel felt the world spin as the blood rush slowly left his head while they kissed, tongues slipping and curling around each other. Sweat trickled down his face and Ciel’s bangs were plastered to his forehead as the heat in the room continued to mount. The kiss broke and Ciel found his head tipped back over the edge of the bed.

His hips were lifted as Sebastian shifted them higher until all of Ciel’s body was dangling over the bed and the only thing keeping him from falling was the tight grip around Sebastian’s waist. There was a new sense of trust in the act and it washed over Ciel’s body as Sebastian started to move again, pushing in deeper than before and making Ciel cry out all the louder for it.

He nearly screamed in pleasure as one hand left his hip to circle around his throbbing cock. Sebastian stroked him in time to their thrusts, his thumb swirling over the tip and running over the slit until Ciel could feel his whole body thrumming with pleasure. Ciel’s hips jerked into Sebastian’s hand as the man gave a small squeeze to the tip of his cock, sending Ciel over the edge.

Garbled words, a mix of Sebastian’s name and curse words, fell from Ciel’s mouth as he came. Hips bucked and jerked as cum covered Sebastian’s hand and Ciel was left gasping and panting for breath as Sebastian continued to thrust into him. Blood rushed to his head, making Ciel feel lightheaded and he watched through his eyelashes as Sebastian came undone before him.

It was an erotic sight, to see Sebastian lose his composure in the throes of passion. Crimson eyes closing in pleasure while that sinful mouth fell open as Sebastian’s orgasm washed over his body. Sebastian’s hands tightened on his hips, nails digging into his skin slightly but the feeling was easily dismissed as Ciel watched a fine tremble work its way through Sebastian’s body.

“Beautiful,” Ciel murmured, feeling Sebastian’s hips rolling slowly as he rode out the last of his orgasm.

Slowly, Sebastian lowered their bodies to the bed and shifted back so Ciel’s head was once more resting on the mattress. They panted in each other’s arms, bodies shaking and trembling as they came down from their high and remembered how to feel once more. Ciel could feel his fingers again and he reached up to stroke Sebastian’s cheek, feeling the soft skin under the pads of his finger.

“That was amazing,” he said lowly. “You were…wow.”

Sebastian chuckled and caught Ciel’s wrist, pressing a kiss to his fingertips. “I’ll take that as a compliment,” he said, eyes bright and alert despite the sated feeling in his body. 

Ciel smirked and playfully pushed at Sebastian’s shoulder. “You’re shaking,” he stated and let his fingers trail down Sebastian’s shoulder before moving to cross his back.

“So are you,” Sebastian murmured and started to lay soft kisses to Ciel’s neck and collarbone. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Ciel answered breathlessly and his eyes lazily watched as Sebastian littered more kisses across his body. It seemed as though the older male was practically worshiping his body and couldn’t get enough. The thought had Ciel relaxing underneath Sebastian and he let the man explore his body, touching and kissing it as he pleased.

The touches were simple but they conveyed a message filled with emotions that Ciel could practically feel. This was Sebastian, everything about him was spread out now before Ciel for him to see. All of Sebastian’s guards were dropped and he was exposing himself freely, giving Ciel the chance to embrace or break him. Was giving Ciel that power.

It was something Ciel had known going into the act of having sex with Sebastian. He knew that it was the final bridge to cross in terms of trust, because Sebastian wouldn’t offer this chance if he didn’t trust Ciel just yet. But seeing Sebastian handle his body this way and lay everything bare before him made Ciel realize just how much Sebastian cared about him. 

Because despite everything, if Ciel hadn’t wanted this in the end, Sebastian would let him go if it meant that Ciel would be happy with someone else. It would kill Sebastian to do so, but the love he held for Ciel would make him smile and wish him luck, even if he was dying inside. 

Ciel choked on the emotions welling up in his throat and felt hot tears prickle at his eyes. “Sebastian,” he called, his voice cracking slightly. The older male looked up at him in concern at his voice and slid up his body, ready to sooth whatever was hurting him. But Ciel cut him off quickly as he cupped Sebastian’s cheeks and pulled him down for a kiss.

This person.

He was offering Ciel a chance to leave. Had offered it before and was offering again, not to test him, but to let Ciel know that he wouldn’t hold him back if it wasn’t what Ciel wanted. Because more than anything, he just wanted Ciel happy.

This man.

Had given him chance after chance to make things right and to give them one last shot at happiness. Had waited and hoped when all others would have left Ciel and given up; would never have given him that second chance.

This amazing and talented person.

Had hidden his talents and person, all for the sake of Ciel. He had chosen to suffer when he could’ve vanished years ago, with the hope that eventually, Ciel would see him and something would happen between them. 

This…this…

Sebastian.

“Sebastian,” Ciel moaned softly as their lips parted and he dove in again for another one, his mouth pressing tight against Sebastian’s, wanting to feel and taste everything that was Sebastian. Because it was Sebastian and no one else.

It was Sebastian who had given Ciel everything. Not just a relationship or trust, but his body and heart. 

And Ciel had almost thrown it all away. Had almost thrown away this person. This man who was offering him everything while others only offered a fraction. This amazing, talented, and beautiful person.

Had almost thrown away Sebastian, the man Ciel had come to love more than he thought possible.

“Sebastian,” Ciel murmured when they broke apart again. His hands held Sebastian’s head in place as he gazed into crimson eyes. “Don’t let me go, Sebastian. Ever.”

Sebastian blinked at him before his eyes softened. “I won’t, I promise,” he said, a soft smile on his face.

Ciel pulled Sebastian closer until their foreheads were pressed together. “Good, because I would be miserable if you did.” He smiled and his fingers rubbed small circles over Sebastian’s temple. “I love you, so much.”

Sebastian’s eyes closed and a content hum left his throat as he leaned into the touch. “Say it again,” he whispered as Ciel started to place small kisses on his face.

“I love you,” Ciel murmured, his lips brushing over Sebastian’s skin. It was repeated with a kiss following each one until Sebastian was practically limp in his arms. He would’ve been content to stay that way, but Sebastian shifted at the last moment, drawing them further back on the bed and pulling the sheets over their bodies.

Ciel drew Sebastian back to him as he rested against the pillows, letting the man wrap his arms around his chest. There was an overwhelming urge to hold Sebastian and Ciel gave into it without though, his fingers tracing random patterns over Sebastian’s skin. He buried his nose in the damp hair, inhaling the scent of cinnamon and let out a soft sigh. He would never let Sebastian go again. 

It was a lesson that had to be learned the hard way but one that Ciel took to heart. He had almost lost Sebastian due to his actions and Ciel didn’t even want to think about a future without Sebastian. 

Because this was where he wanted to be, in Sebastian’s embrace and he never wanted to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of this story. However, after I finished writing this chapter, I had a few more ideas that I wanted to include in the story that weren't covered in any of the previous chapters and that I couldn't work into the story. So I included two side stories at the end of the story (chapter 14 and 15) instead of posting a whole new story for them ^^


	14. Side Story: 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This side story takes place mid-September after Ciel finds Sebastian on the cruise ship. So a few weeks or so after chapter twelve ^^

Wind blew lightly across the green grass, gently bending the blades under its touch and sending stray leaves dancing across the paved paths that circled the pond. It made ripples appear on the water’s surface and ruffled the feathers on the ducks swimming in the pond, making them quack loudly in the late afternoon.

It was peaceful during this time of the year at the park. School was back in session and not many people came to the park in the middle of the week, leaving it wide open and empty. A few vendors still parked their carts at various points around the park, selling their items and enjoying the final days of summer before autumn started its approach on the land.

Already, the leaves were starting to change color; ever so slightly. A few had fallen from their branches and tired eyes watched them dance around in the wind until they collected around the legs of the benches that lined the sidewalks. A stray leaf darted away from the pack and came to land in front of Sebastian, making him reach out to grab it.

The leaf was soft in between his fingers, having just fallen from the tree earlier that day. With a smile, Sebastian shifted onto his side and wiggled the tip of the leaf at the black kitten that slumbered next to him. Her eyes opened slightly but she did nothing more than yawn at it before going back to sleep once more.

The action had Sebastian smiling and he tucked the leaf into the small basket that sat on the edge of the blanket before crossing his arms under his chin once more. A soft sigh left his mouth as he shifted on the soft blanket, crimson eyes watching two figures off in the distance. Three actually, but Sebastian didn’t count the dog. It barked loudly and chased a ball that the two people tossed back and forth, wagging its tail happily.

Shaking his head, Sebastian rolled onto his side and shifted Soot closer to his chest, blocking her small body from the wind. She squeaked at the movement but didn’t wake and Sebastian felt his eyes falling shut as well. It had been a long day; a good one, but long nonetheless. DIE had finished shooting their latest season on the cruise ship and now he was enjoying a month long break once more.

Profits were high and by far, this shoot was their most popular season to date. It was a great success and Sebastian was pleased with how everything had turned out. His eyes flickered to the two people across the pond. Yes, even that.

It was hard to believe that Ciel was back in his life and yet, here he was. It had been a little over a month since the younger male found him on the cruise ship, something Sebastian cursed and embraced at the same time. A small part of him had hoped never to see Ciel again after all the pain he had felt at Ciel’s hand. 

Nevertheless, Ciel alone wasn’t to blame for his actions and Sebastian knew that. It was the reason Sebastian had picked a spot so close to Ciel’s college, in hopes that he would find the younger male again or that Ciel would find him. Because no matter what happened between them, all the pain and betrayal, from both their sides, Sebastian was still so helplessly in love with Ciel. Had been since the first time he saw the younger male.

And now, Ciel was back at his side once more, despite everything that had happened between them. At times, it seemed like a dream, one that Sebastian would wake up from at any moment and realize that the chess set in his condo was gone; the only thing of Ciel that was currently in his home. It was too soon to allow Ciel back into his bed, but Sebastian had allowed Ciel to visit his condo as often as he wanted.

They played chess nearly every day after Ciel found him and the chess set was well worn now after the many games they played in silence. It took a week of those silent games before Sebastian could finally say something, knocking down the first wall that kept them separated from each other. And there were several walls in place between them, more on Sebastian’s side than Ciel’s, but they still existed and they kept them apart.

Their fingers never touched each other, not even when they were playing chess and the first time they happened to brush against each other, Sebastian jerked his hand back as if he had been burned. The hurt that had washed over Ciel’s face at his action made Sebastian’s chest ache and as soon as the game was over, he sent Ciel away.

It was slow going and hard, those first few weeks together. No one ever said it would be easy but Ciel was patient and persistent; and Sebastian was willing to forgive. It was those traits that kept everything from falling apart around them before they even had the chance to try again. Because the next day, Ciel was back, ready to play another game of chess and this time, Sebastian was willing to knock down another wall.

The brush of Ciel’s fingers against his hand this time wasn’t accidental and Sebastian let the touch linger on his skin. Their eyes darted up to look at each other and Sebastian gave a small nod, silently telling, no begging, Ciel to keep going. They both had to work together at this relationship in order for it to work. Ciel was already building the bridge to reach Sebastian and was patiently waiting for him. Now Sebastian had to do the same thing.

Slowly, Ciel’s hand rose, his fingers brushing against the inside of Sebastian’s wrists and making him shiver at the touch. “Keep going,” he murmured when Ciel stopped suddenly at the action. Ciel nodded and Sebastian shifted closer, the game ignored for the time being. Hands came up to cup his face and Sebastian went to move closer, only to smack his knee against the side of the table.

Ciel chuckled lowly and his hands fell from Sebastian’s face. “Maybe doing this with a table between us wasn’t a wise idea,” he stated, blue eyes dancing slightly.

Sebastian couldn’t stop the small smile from crossing his lips and warily moved around the table until he was seated on the floor next to Ciel. “Better?” He asked, carefully reaching out to touch Ciel’s cheek. Because it wasn’t just Sebastian who had been hurt in all this, but Ciel as well. They had both lost the privilege to touch each other so freely.

“Much,” Ciel answered and leaned into the touch that Sebastian offered before reaching up to return the favor.

Crimson eyes closed in pleasure at the simple touch and Sebastian couldn’t help but sigh at the feeling of Ciel’s fingers brushing across his skin. They stroked his cheeks, tracing the still lingering dark circles under his eyes before moving in a slow arch and following the curve of his jaw. Fingers rested against his pulse, feeling it flutter wildly against Ciel’s touch before the younger male pulled back.

“Don’t stop,” Sebastian whispered and drew Ciel closer to him. 

Ciel shook his head and his fingers moved up to lace through dark locks. “I won’t. Not until you tell me stop or you push me away,” he answered.

Sebastian’s eyes opened at the words and he realized his hand had stopped moving. It cupped Ciel’s cheek, his fingers rubbing small circles over the skin before he answered. “I have no reason to push you away,” he stated. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Ciel breathed. “I missed you so much.”

Before Sebastian could stop himself, he pulled Ciel closer until the younger male was pressed up against him. “I’m sorry,” he gasped, clutching at Ciel’s shirt. “I’m sorry I lied to you and led you on that way. I never should’ve done that.”

Ciel’s hands tightened in his hair before they drifted down to cup his cheeks, tilting Sebastian’s head up so they could look at each other. “I forgive you,” he said softly. “I forgive you, Sebastian. Please stop beating yourself up for this.”

Sebastian nodded and buried his face into Ciel’s neck, inhaling the familiar scent of the younger male. A scent that a few months ago, he thought he would never smell again. “Okay,” he answered quietly.

They spent the rest of the afternoon that way until Ciel had to leave, but even that simple action of forgiveness and acceptance was enough to tear down another wall and weaken several others. No one ever said it would be a fast recovery, but Sebastian could see the progress that was being made and each day that passed after that was like wiping away a layer of filth from a dirty windshield. 

It wasn’t clean enough that they could see through it clearly, but slowly, the sunlight was starting to permeate the darkness that had surrounded them, allowing them to see what could be. 

After that, the touches came more frequently until the chess games were once more a thing of the past. They still played the game, but it was no longer needed to keep the awkward silence at bay. Now, they enjoyed each other’s company and Sebastian started to teach Ciel how to cook again, finding that Ciel’s cooking skills had somehow worsened in the month they had been apart.

That, and Ciel still couldn’t properly read the instructions. Their first lesson together was for a simple cake. The instructions said to bake for fifteen minutes but somehow the timer had been set for fifty, resulting in the smoke detector going off for several minutes. Sebastian could only shake his head as Ciel pulled out the black, charcoaled cake that was supposed to be for dessert that night, and told Ciel to keep fanning the smoke detector while he threw the mess in the trash.

Following that incident, Sebastian thought it would be good to teach Ciel how to cook something on the grill; figuring that it would be easier and the chance of his condo smelling like smoke would be lessened. It was a simple lesson, how to grill chicken breasts. They had already been marinated in a sauce that Sebastian had created himself and all Ciel had to do was place them on the grill and watch them.

Simple enough, Sebastian figured. What he hadn’t been counting on though was for Ciel to douse the coals with extra fluid lighter when he wasn’t looking. The ending result was a ball of fire shooting up from the pit that engulfed the chicken breasts before it roared hotly while Ciel stared at the flames with wide eyes.

Sebastian, for his troubles, almost lost his eyebrows. After that, Ciel was banned from using a grill anywhere near Sebastian’s condo and in the end; they went out to eat for dinner that night. Ciel paid of course.

That had been several weeks ago and Sebastian absently brushed over his eyebrows, feeling that they were thinner than what they once were. Even today, during this little impromptu picnic, Sebastian didn’t let Ciel touch the grill. Instead, he told the younger male to keep the dog occupied while he handled the food.

Ciel grumbled at him for that but dragged the dog away nonetheless while Sebastian tended to the grill. Ciel’s female friend, Elizabeth, stayed back though to help and Sebastian found that she was helpful despite her claims at being horrible in the kitchen. 

“My father usually does all the grilling,” she stated, holding out the plate for Sebastian so he could place the food on the grill. “I just carry the plates to him when he needs them.”

Sebastian nodded. “My father taught me how to cook, all aspects of it and ever since he passed away, it’s one of the things I have left of him. Whenever I cook, I think about him and all the good times we had together, and that way I never forget him.”

Elizabeth smiled. “I think you just encouraged me to spend more time with my father and find something we can share,” she stated and set the plate to the side. “Life is short.”

“It is,” Sebastian answered and slipped a few vegetables on a skewer before placing it over the low flame. “We often forget that until it’s too late.”

“You know, he called me the night you two first kissed,” Elizabeth stated, turning slightly to look at Ciel and giggling as she watched her dog chase him around. “I insulted you to see how he felt about you and he tore into me as he defended you. I’ve never seen him jump to defend someone like that before.”

Sebastian was silent for a while as he focused on the flames. “I know he cares,” he finally admitted.

Elizabeth nodded. “And you love him, always have.” She smiled at Sebastian’s silence and continued to speak. “Ciel has never loved anyone before. Lusted yes, but never loved. Until now. I can see the difference in the way he looks at you compared to past interests and I saw how devastated he was after the fight you two had. I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me, but I know that he cares for you and loves you back as well. He just, doesn’t know how to show it or say the right words.”

She looked at him and Sebastian watched her curiously before she stood up on her toes and pressed a light kiss to his cheek. “I know what happened between you two and that something like that is hard to come back from. But I can see you two trying and I know that eventually you two will come together again.” She stood flat on her feet again. “Don’t be wholly afraid to let him back in Sebastian. Life is too short.”

Before Sebastian could say anything in response, Elizabeth darted away and ran over to Ciel’s side to save him from the slobbery tongue of the foul beast called a dog. Sebastian could only watch her go and wipe away the remains of her kiss from his cheek. Ciel had warned him about Elizabeth when Sebastian had suggested bringing her to the picnic, but Sebastian found he was rather curious to meet Elizabeth.

They had talked once on the phone when she had swiped Ciel’s phone one day, claiming she wanted to talk to him. Ciel had fought long and hard to get the phone back, and Sebastian could hear the younger male’s attempts in the background as Elizabeth demanded that they met one day. In the end, Sebastian had agreed to meet the female and the rest, as they say, was history.

After all, Ciel already knew all of Sebastian’s friends and co-workers. It only seemed fair that Sebastian meet Elizabeth, who was Ciel’s best friend; even though the younger male claimed that Elizabeth was often times the devil in disguise. A she-devil, Ciel had grumbled often after the incident. 

Seeing her after their little talk, Sebastian couldn’t help but shake his head. Perhaps she-devil was a little harsh and unnecessary. A proud lion was more Elizabeth’s style. She knew what she wanted and wasn’t afraid to protect those she cared about. She had earned Sebastian’s respect and he was glad that Ciel had a friend like Elizabeth.

Sebastian’s gaze darted across the pond once more, watching as Ciel dropped down in the grass while Elizabeth chased her dog with boundless energy. The sight made Sebastian’s lips twitch and he found himself amused at how much energy Elizabeth had, even after the long day. Dinner had passed nearly two hours ago and after half an hour of digesting, Elizabeth had tugged Ciel away to burn off the energy while Sebastian lazily waved them away.

Ciel had shouted for mercy, although his attempts were half-hearted as they both ran off to play, acting as though they were children. Sebastian was content to watch them with a small smile while Soot slept next to him, enjoying the setting sun. 

Now though, it seemed as though Ciel was ready to call it quits and Sebastian shifted on the blanket once more, rolling back onto his stomach. His fingers twitched as Ciel stood up and started to walk back to their picnic area. It had been weeks since Ciel found him, even longer since they last kissed, and Sebastian longed to pull the younger male close to him.

Was it so wrong to take that next step? To pull Ciel down next to him and slowly press their lips together until there was no space between them, and the only thing they could feel were their beating hearts racing against each other. Sebastian shook his head and closed his eyes. No, there was nothing wrong with that.

They were still moving slowly, keeping from rushing. A simple kiss wouldn’t lead to sex. It wouldn’t make those three words fall from their mouths when they weren’t ready to say it just yet. But it would help tear down more walls that separated them and further strengthen the bridge between them. 

Or it could make things worse. There was still a chance that Ciel hadn’t forgiven him and wouldn’t want Sebastian to touch him in such a way. What if that simple kiss tore down the carefully constructed and still fragile bridge? 

For a moment, Sebastian couldn’t breathe and he could feel his heart racing as Ciel approached him, cheeks flushed from running around so much. Wouldn’t it be better just to keep things as they were and not ruin the delicate balance they worked so hard to build?

“Are you okay?” Ciel asked and Sebastian turned his head to look at him, eyes wide and body trembling. “Sebastian?” Ciel asked again, concern in his voice.

Sebastian grumbled under his breath, given neither a positive or negative answer. Instead, he turned away from Ciel and buried his face in his arms, feeling as though he wanted to hide away from Ciel. It was frustrating, not knowing what to think or feel, and Sebastian felt as though he was drowning in a vast ocean, and no one would save him. 

“Sebastian,” Ciel called again and he felt his head being lifted up carefully until Sebastian was gazing at the younger male. “Don’t do this, don’t shut me out. What’s wrong?”

The words had Sebastian laughing lightly and he wondered what he did to deserve someone like Ciel. “I’m so broken,” he finally murmured. So broken that he couldn’t think straight and couldn’t believe anything around him. He was so worried that the fragile trust he had slowly built up would be broken again if he allowed himself to believe once more. Believe in Ciel.

Ciel shook his head and slowly shifted over until Sebastian’s head was resting in his lap. Fingers played with soft hair and Sebastian sighed lowly at the touch. “You’re not broken,” he defended. “You’re just stubborn and scared. Hiding behind the walls that you’ve thrown up and you need coaxing until you come out.”

Sebastian chuckled lowly and leaned into Ciel’s touch, silently asking for more. It was amazing how well Ciel seemed to know him and understand the fears racing through his mind. “I’m not a scared kitten,” he said after a few moments of silence.

“I think you are,” Ciel teased. “I can see your tail all puffed up and your wide eyes. Just like the time I set off the smoke alarm and poor Soot looked like a puff ball.”

“You laughed at her for that,” Sebastian pointed out, remembering just how terrified Soot had been that day and how Ciel couldn’t stop laughing once he saw her fur standing on end. “My poor kitten.”

Ciel snorted with laughter. “She did look rather funny. Even you have to admit that,” he stated and poked Sebastian’s cheek. “I see a smile on your face.”

Sebastian batted away the finger and buried his face in Ciel’s lap to hide the growing smile. Perhaps it had been a little funny to see her so puffed up, but at the time, it really wasn’t. “I plead the fifth.”

“I’ll allow that to pass, but you still haven’t told me what’s wrong,” Ciel said patiently. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me. And even once you do, I’m still not leaving your side. In both the physical and metaphorical sense.”

Sebastian grumbled lowly at the words but didn’t loosen his grip on Ciel. There was reason to be nervous yes, but Ciel couldn’t take all the steps forward in this relationship; Sebastian had to take some as well. That meant taking the chance and believing in Ciel, knowing that the younger male had honestly forgiven him as he had said. That Ciel wanted this as much as Sebastian did.

It meant trusting Ciel more than he currently was. Slowly building the trust with each day that passed, because it was foolish to trust so willingly and so quickly after everything. Trust, once broken could be mended, but it took time and patience from both sides. There would be times when they stepped back but so long as they kept looking forward, then they wouldn’t take more steps back than forward.

“I trust you,” Sebastian said, his words slightly muffled by Ciel’s shirt, which smelt of the grill and a hint of sweat. He tilted his head up so he could look at Ciel and gazed into the blue eyes that watched him so carefully. 

“I know you do,” Ciel answered.

Sebastian blinked at the words, surprise spreading throughout his body. “What?” He asked carefully.

Ciel smiled. “I know you trust me, even though you have a hard time showing it to me or believing it yourself. Just don’t close yourself off to me and I’ll always know that.”

Sebastian nodded and rolled onto his back, making sure not to squish Soot as she continued to sleep next to him. She was lucky; spoiled little kitten. Eat, sleep, and play. That was a kitten’s life and it made Sebastian slightly jealous. “Come here,” he said, pulling Ciel close to him. The younger male came willingly, adjusting his body until he was draped over Sebastian like a blanket. 

They gazed at each other and it should have been awkward, but instead the feeling was familiar. It was something they had shared once before, in a dingy apartment back in a time when Sebastian had to hide behind several masks thanks to Claude. But that was then and this was now, when they didn’t have to hide anymore and Sebastian could feel Ciel’s heart racing just as hard as they pressed against each other. 

He reached up and cupped Ciel’s face, watching as Ciel’s eyes fluttered shut at the simple touch. It was something Sebastian missed and now they were so close, all it would take was the closing of a few inches between them and they could have that familiar touch once again. But it was still so hard; so, so hard. 

“Ciel,” Sebastian murmured, feeling Ciel’s heartbeat race even more. The younger male was just as nervous as he was and Sebastian realized that Ciel was probably just as scared to mess something up as well. They weren’t alone in this and they were both feeling the same thing. They were scared and nervous, but anxious and eager. They wanted to move on and put this behind them, and for the first time since that day on the cruise ship, Sebastian decided to take the first step forward.

He leaned up, closing the distance between them until nothing remained between their bodies. They pressed flush against each other as lips brushed gently over one another; soft, hesitant, and unsure. But the moment they touched and Sebastian realized the world wasn’t going to end; that Ciel wasn’t pulling back, he could feel his hesitation melting away.

With eager lips, he pressed harder against Ciel and the younger male responded just as eagerly. Hesitation and fear stripped away from their bodies and they grasped at the familiar until Sebastian felt as though the past had never happened. All that was around him was Ciel and that was all Sebastian wanted. He wanted Ciel; Ciel’s touch, his taste, his love, everything. Everything that Ciel had to offer and then more.

Because everything would be okay between them. They had kissed and the world hadn’t crumbled beneath their feet in an attempt to keep them apart. Volcanoes hadn’t erupted and earthquakes didn’t rock the land. But more importantly, Ciel didn’t push away and wasn’t upset with his actions. Instead, he had welcomed them with a soft sigh and a warm embrace, as though to say, ‘it took you long enough, you insufferable idiot.’

They broke apart with a soft noise, their lips parting just enough to let air pass between them before Ciel initiated the next kiss. A pleased hum left Sebastian’s throat and his hands rose, one cupping the back of Ciel’s neck and the other resting on the small of his back. Another hurdle had been passed, another wall knocked down, and another section of the bridge had been built.

It was slow progress, but wasn’t everything in life? Still, there would come a time when that bridge was finished and all the walls between them were gone, leaving nothing between them but the affection they felt for each other. They would make it through this because it was what they wanted and desired. Because the love they had for each other, despite all the bumps along with way, was still strong and they wanted to make it work.

Ciel’s hands came up to cup his cheeks as they pulled apart again and the younger male rested his forehead against his as they stared at each before Ciel started to laugh. “You’re shaking,” he said but didn’t pull away.

“So are you,” Sebastian pointed out. Was this how nervous they had been about taking this next step? It was almost laughable but at the same time, it was endearing. It simply showed how determined they were not to make a mistake again. But mistakes would happen and they were just that, mistakes. Nothing was wrong with that. You learned through them. “Don’t wait so long next time,” he teased.

Ciel chuckled. “I could say the same to you. We’re not perfect and we’ll hurt each other, but never on purpose. Always know that, Sebastian,” he stated and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. “I will never hurt you on purpose.”

Sebastian nodded. “I know,” he answered and tilted his head up to close the distance between them again. “I know,” he murmured against Ciel’s lips before they were kissing tenderly again.


	15. Side Story: 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one takes place two years after chapter thirteen. Warnings for mental and physical violence, language, and Claude also gets his own warning :3

Sunlight streamed through the top of the curtains, casting just enough light in the bedroom that made it near impossible to fall back asleep. It wasn’t fair, Sebastian concluded as he tried to bury his face into the pillows in a feeble attempt to ignore the sunlight. This was the one day he could sleep in like a normal person, and enjoy a normal sleep pattern. And the damn sun was making it impossible to accomplish such a thing.

It wasn’t only the sun that was working against him but also an infernal internal clock that told his body he should be up and that his alarm clock would be going off soon. But Sebastian refused to open his eyes to check the time. Because knowing his luck, he would look at the clock a minute or two before it would go off. It didn’t matter if he was already awake and was simply lying in bed with his eyes shut. The bed was comfortable. The cool morning air, not so much.

In the distance, Sebastian could hear the ringing bell on Soot’s color as the cat moved throughout the condo. No doubt she was pouncing on the streams of sunlight that filtered into the living room. The sun hit a small prism that Ciel had hung by the window nearly two years ago, sending colored specks dancing across the floor that entertained Soot almost all morning.

Speaking of Ciel. Sebastian rolled onto his side and his eye opened slightly, looking at the empty spot next to him. It had long since grown cold but the smell of the younger male still lingered on the sheets and Sebastian rolled over to inhale the crisp scent. Ciel had left for work already, about an hour or so ago while Sebastian was still lost to the dream world.

Sebastian sighed loudly and buried his nose further into the sheets. “Evil Monday,” he grumbled and debated about pulling the blankets over his head in an attempt to fall back asleep but the damage was already done. Sebastian was awake and there would be no going back to sleep now. With another sigh, he sat up and tossed the blankets back, shivering in the crisp morning air.

He reached down and picked up his sleep pants and a lightweight shirt, slipping them both on before padding into the bathroom. It seemed odd to be up at this time, when under normal circumstances, Sebastian would be going to sleep around this time. But DIE was taking a four month break and Sebastian had easily fallen back into a normal sleep pattern.

They were already three weeks into their break and Sebastian only had to wait one more week before Ciel had time off as well. They had plans to travel during that time and Sebastian couldn’t wait to spend the time with Ciel in a new country. Already, Sebastian was pondering the idea of doing an international special for a shooting with DIE and he wondered if he could convince Ciel to make a dry run at certain places.

Sebastian paused in the middle of brushing his teeth. “We haven’t made our own sex video yet,” he murmured to himself and shook his head, pushing the thoughts from his mind.

He finished brushing and made his way to the living room where Soot greeted him with loud cries. He picked her up and scratched underneath her chin, listening to her purr. A quick glance at the clock showed that it was almost nine and he had a meeting with The Undertaker in an hour. Despite the four month break, they were still working occasionally. Money didn’t grow on trees and some profit was better than none.

While they weren’t producing DVD’s during the break, Sebastian had suggested making calendars and other paper products that were easier to produce and didn’t require a mass amount of effort. Pictures were easy to pull from video stills and Sebastian found that writing the short descriptions for the magazine was rather fun. 

Their newest issue, which Sebastian wanted to produce weekly, was due Thursday afternoon if it was to hit shelves by Friday night. So far, the magazine was popular and demand was high. It was like () but with a DIE twist. 

Sebastian chuckled lowly and set Soot down next to her bowl. She cried at him and weaved around his ankles as he poured some food into her bowl before checking her water. Seeing that it was still full, he turned to get his own breakfast and hummed lightly under his breath. Perhaps if his meeting finished early today, he would stop by and see Ciel at work. The younger male had his own office, which promised fun if Ciel was in the mood.

A smirk spread across Sebastian’s face as he pulled two eggs from their container and grabbed some ham slices. Hopefully today would be a good day.

.:|When the Lights go Down|:.

Sebastian hummed as he smeared a ring of water around on the table. More droplets slid down the side of his glass as the condensation continued to grow on the glass. A quick glance at his watch showed that The Undertaker was running late, again, and Sebastian stretched his arms over his head before leaning back in the plush chair. 

He almost regretted eating breakfast now, knowing that he was too full to eat anything. But a quick look at the prices for a plate of breakfast had Sebastian tucking the menu back into the holder. Years of carefully budgeting his money was still firmly ingrained in his brain and Sebastian still didn’t like to spend money in a useless fashion.

Instead, he sipped at his water again before setting the glass on the table, resisting the urge to look at his watch. At this rate, they would never finish their meeting in time for Sebastian to sneak into Ciel’s office. He drummed his fingers along the surface of the table, wondering if it would be better to sneak in under the guard’s nose, or wear a disguise. A sense of mischief raced through his body and Sebastian nearly laughed at the feeling.

Ciel would call him a child for thinking such immature thoughts, but those blue eyes would give Ciel away. They would shine with laughter and the younger male would find amusement in the situation. And even though he would scold Sebastian for acting so childish, his eyes would beg Sebastian to make another attempt in the future.

Sebastian chuckled lowly and twisted the wrapper from his straw. He glanced up as someone slid into the booth across from him and the teasing greeting died on the tip of his tongue. Instead, his eyes widened and his heart started to race, the urge to flee briefly rearing its head. He pushed the urge away and swallowed, choosing to stay seated. “Claude,” he finally said, pleased that his voice was strong. 

“Sebastian,” Claude answered calmly, his eyes flickering over Sebastian’s body. 

“What are you doing here?” Sebastian asked, his body still tense.

Claude smirked. “I have a meeting at Funtom and I happened to see you sitting by the window when I was walking by.” He rested his arms on the table. “So I thought I would stop in and see how you were doing. I haven’t seen you since Ciel stood up for you, almost three years ago?”

“Two,” Sebastian corrected. “Almost three though.”

It would be three years come October, after the summer heat burned away to give way to the chill of fall. But Sebastian had escaped the oppressive grip of his brother several months before that, back in the midst of summer when he slipped away into the night under everyone’s nose. To this day, Claude still didn’t know where he lived or what he did, a feat Sebastian was rather proud of.

“What’s the difference?” Claude asked with a small shrug and waved the server away. “A few months means nothing compared to a few years that we spent apart. We’re family after all.”

Sebastian growled lowly. “We’re family only by blood and that’s it. The fact that you can even sit there across from me and claim that we’re family, like you even care, is enough to make me sick.” His eyes darted towards the entrance of the restaurant, hoping to see The Undertaker walking through the door but it stayed empty.

Across the table, Claude chuckled lightly. “You’re twitching like a mouse in front of a cat, Sebastian. I can see it in your eyes, that raw and unguarded emotion that tells me you’re still terrified of me after all these years.” He smirked and leaned forward, the action making Sebastian press back into the cushions. “You may have escaped my control, but there are several aspects of me that you can’t escape.”

Heart racing, Sebastian shook his head and tried to deny Claude’s words. He subtly wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans and clenched them into fists in order to keep Claude from seeing just how nervous he was. “You have no control over me anymore,” he stated, but his voice quivered slightly and he watched as Claude’s eyes glowed with pleasure behind his glasses.

“You’re lying, Sebastian,” he goaded. “I can see right through you no matter what shields you try to erect. And no matter how much you try to escape me, I will always be there. And I will always be the better.”

Sebastian scoffed but didn’t say anything, not trusting his voice at the moment. Being around Claude again for the first time in years made his confidence waver until he was scrambling to grasp for a strong hold, anything that would keep him from tumbling into despair and to his horror, his fingers were coming up empty.

Golden eyes brightened as Sebastian felt his face twist into panic and his eyes once more darted towards the door. Sweat beaded close to his hairline and the harshest of swallows was loud in the silence that settled between them. Claude’s eyes glowed with triumph and Sebastian could barely stop the finest of shivers from racing through his body. He knew that look, it was the look that Claude had whenever he knew that he won or had an ace up his sleeve.

“How is Ciel doing these days?” Claude asked casually, as though they were discussing the weather.

“He’s fine,” Sebastian answered tensely and silently begged that Claude would drop the subject.

Claude nodded and leaned back into the cushions. “I’m surprised that you two are still together. He must really pity you, seeing as he’s been with you this whole time.”

Sebastian glared at Claude. “He doesn’t stay because he pities me,” he snapped. “He stays because he loves me.”

Laughter left Claude’s mouth and Sebastian flinched at the sound. It wasn’t a joyous laugh but instead, a cruel laugh that had Sebastian on guard. “That’s rich,” Claude finally said and wiped away a mock tear from his eye. “I can’t believe you actually believe that he loves you. I mean, this is you we’re talking about.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Sebastian asked stiffly. 

Claude chuckled again. “Come now Sebastian, we all know that Ciel is far too attractive to be seen with the likes of you. He would be better off with someone who compliments him. Why else do you think he works so long at work?” He clicked his tongue and shook his head. “He needs to spend time with people he’s actually fit to be around and to escape your less than ideal looks. You’re an embarrassment to him.”

Sebastian twitched but didn’t say anything as his heart continued to race against his chest, almost painfully now. He was an embarrassment to Ciel? He shook his head, pushing the thoughts away. No, Claude’s words were nothing but lies. Ciel still wouldn’t be with him if he didn’t want Sebastian anymore. He would’ve left to live his own life.

“I don’t believe you,” he spat finally, but the words felt weak on his tongue. “If Ciel was embarrassed of me and wished to have someone else, why hasn’t he left by now? You said so yourself that he’s attractive and he could have anyone he wants. So why would he stay with me when he could easily leave for someone new?”

Claude shook his head slowly, pity filling his eyes. “Oh Sebastian. How do you know he doesn’t already have someone and you’re nothing but a side fling that he keeps around for kicks? Sex is sex, and I’m sure on the days he wants some but his other partner isn’t willing, he comes to you to satisfy his desires.” He smirked and reached forward to cup Sebastian’s face. “Face it, Sebastian. You’re nothing but a sex toy to that boy. There is no love. There never was and there never will be.”

“You’re lying,” Sebastian gasped. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Of course not,” Claude cooed lowly, almost tenderly as though he was trying to soothe and comfort Sebastian. “But one day you’ll wake up and realize that you’ve been living nothing but a lie. And when that happens, you’ll be alone and broken, with no one around to help you. And then you’ll have no choice but to come crawling back to me.”

Sebastian sat still, stiff as a board as Claude leaned forward across the table. “And I look forward to that day,” he whispered against Sebastian’s ear. He pressed a light kiss to the pale cheek. “It was nice to see you again little brother,” he said, tone light and happy before he stood up and moved away from the booth.

Clothes rustled as Claude walked towards the door, his jacket pulled tight around his body as Sebastian watched him go with hollow eyes. The front door opened and closed, the noise pulling Sebastian from his thoughts and his hands trembled in his lap. The words Claude spoke raced around his mind, low and convincing. They battered his mind and his emotions, opening old wounds that Sebastian thought had closed long ago.

He didn’t believe the words. Ciel using him as a side fling, impossible. Wasn’t it?

Wasn’t it?

“Oh God,” Sebastian gasped and his hands scrambled to find something to anchor himself to as vertigo suddenly hit him. He panted for breath, feeling as though he was about to pass out from the suddenness of it all and all the while, his mind supplied him with less than comforting thoughts and images.

What if Ciel was secretly seeing someone at work? They had the privacy of his office to keep the secret and Sebastian rarely visited so the chances of being seen or anyone telling him were rare. And no one could inform Sebastian if Ciel was seeing someone. They didn’t know where he lived or his cell phone number. They didn’t even know where he worked.

The thought struck Sebastian like a freight train and suddenly Claude’s words made sense. Everyone at Funtom probably thought Sebastian was nothing but a bum who was living off Ciel like a leach. Or a parasite. They only knew him in the past as ‘that unattractive person who managed equipment’. No one knew why he left. For all they knew, he probably left because of a drug problem, which could explain his unkempt looks in the past.

Not only that, he had no job that they knew of and when asked, Sebastian would just shrug off the question. What did that look like to the people who knew Ciel? Did they look at Ciel in pity because they thought Sebastian was a free loader? They must think that Ciel deserved someone better, someone who could stand proudly next to Ciel and hold their own. Not someone who lived in the shadows.

But why did Ciel keep this from him? Was it because he was secretly ashamed of Sebastian as well and had publically denied his relationship with him in order to take someone more suitable? Only to come home at night to secretly see Sebastian because he wanted to keep him from suspecting something? 

Had these past two years been nothing but a lie?

Sebastian pitched forward, his head smacking the surface of the table harshly. The pain raced through his body and he vaguely realized he was shaking on the cushioned seats, panicked tears threatening to leave his eyes. He sucked in a harsh breath as the last remaining tingles of pain left his body and with it, brought some sense of calm and rationality.

No.

No.

No.

It wasn’t right, none of it was. These thoughts plaguing him were nothing but lies, built from past fears and coaxed to life by a silver-tongued demon who knew about his insecurities. None of those fears or thoughts were the truth though. Only Sebastian knew the truth.

No matter what lies Claude tried to weave and tell, tried to force him to believe, Sebastian knew the truth. Had always known the truth. And the truth of the matter was that Ciel cared about him. Loved him. Had loved him in the past, loved him now, and would continue to love him.

Those past wounds that had once haunted Sebastian for months after Ciel found him had finally closed. Had been closed for years now as the trust between them grew stronger until the wounds were nothing but faint lines in their relationship and Sebastian didn’t think about them anymore. He trusted Ciel and had trusted him now for quite some time. But then Claude came along and tried to shake him.

No, not try. He had shaken him.

For a brief moment of weakness, Sebastian allowed himself to believe Claude’s words and doubt himself and the relationship he had with Ciel. Yes, there were times he was still insecure with his features but Sebastian hadn’t relapsed into not trusting Ciel for months. How dare Claude make him slip. Were it anyone else, Sebastian could ignore them. But the moment Claude opened his mouth, it seemed that all of Sebastian’s confidence in himself slipped away.

How dare he.

How dare him.

Damn them both. Damn both himself and his brother.

Damn himself for falling prey to Claude’s words and tactics once more. And damn Claude for making him this way in the first place.

Sebastian growled low in his throat and his fingers clenched into a fist. But was it really Claude’s fault in the end? Yes, to an extent, but Sebastian was also responsible for allowing the older male to manipulate him that way. Sebastian was always the one running and he was tired of it. He had been running from Claude since Tanaka’s death. 

He stood up and darted towards the door, ignoring the server who tried to wave him down. Without looking back, he ran out onto the sidewalk and headed towards Funtom. Claude said he had a meeting at Funtom and Sebastian hoped to catch him before he reached the company. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed while he battled his demons, but Sebastian figured it couldn’t have been too long. No one stopped by his table to ask if he was all right, meaning his mini panic attack was quick. 

People shouted at him as he ran down the sidewalk but Sebastian ignored them, too focused on finding Claude. Buildings passed by too quickly until at last, Sebastian was doubled over in front of Funtom. He cursed lowly, still trying to control his breathing before straightening up and walking through the front doors.

The man at the front desk recognized him and waved him through without question. Sebastian gave him a small smile before he stepped into the elevator and took a moment to smooth out the wrinkles in his clothes and comb out his hair. It was probably better to wait a day or two and approach Claude with a level head but Sebastian was tired of beating around the bush. 

The elevator came to a stop at the correct floor and Sebastian stepped off, striding towards Ciel’s office with determined steps. He passed a few people in the hall but no one bothered to stop him and within minutes, Sebastian found himself in front of Ciel’s door. A quick look through the frosted glass showed that he had company and the familiar voice inside told Sebastian exactly who was in the office.

Sighing softly, Sebastian took a step to the side and leaned against the wall. He couldn’t trouble Ciel with his family problems, it wasn’t fair to bring that to work. Besides, this was something private and needed to be settled as such.

Crimson eyes glanced up as one of the many interns in the company walked by, carrying a tray of coffee. “Excuse me,” Sebastian called out, stopping the young male. “Will you do me a favor?”

“I’m a little busy,” the intern said, glancing down at the cups before looking back up at Sebastian. 

“This will only take a moment and I can insure that after this, you won’t be the coffee boy anymore,” Sebastian stated. “All you need to do is go in there and spill some coffee on Claude Faustus.”

The male stared at him. “I’ll lose my job.”

Sebastian shook his head. “And I’ll make sure you don’t. You have my word. I know the owner of this company and he’ll understand what I’m about to do.” 

The younger male looked uneasy but Sebastian could see his hesitation wavering. “Fine,” he finally said. “But only because I’m tired of being the coffee boy. You better hold up your end of the bargain though.”

Sebastian smirked. “Once Claude is gone, tell Ciel Phantomhive that Sebastian will explain everything once he’s done. That will keep you from getting in trouble.” He gestured to the door. “Good luck.”

He stepped to the side as the intern walked inside and leaned against the wall, waiting for the fireworks to start. It didn’t take long before Claude’s yell pierced the walls and Sebastian winced slightly, feeling bad for the young intern. Seconds passed before the door opened violently and Claude stalked outside, looking furious and a little damp.

“How hot was that coffee, Claude?” Sebastian asked calmly, a smirk playing on his lips. He waited for Claude to wheel around, noticing him for the first time before his hand shot out and curled around Claude’s wrist. “Let’s get you cleaned up, hm?”

“Sebastian, release me this instant,” Claude snarled as he was dragged down the hallway to the bathroom.

The bathroom door opened and Sebastian pushed Claude through before shutting the door. He silently turned the lock and turned to face him, pleased to see that Claude didn’t look as smug as before. “What’s the matter, Claude? Surprised to see me already?” He cocked his head and tapped his chin. “Did you think you left me broken at the restaurant when you left?”

Claude sneered. “You looked pretty broken to me. And I know how easy it is to break you. I’ve done it countless times before and I can’t wait to keep breaking you in the future.”

Sebastian clicked his tongue. “You see, that’s the problem with you, Claude. It’s the reason why your CD sales are falling and your fan base is slowly dying. You don’t change. You keep to things that are familiar and never learn how to adapt to the new and changing world around you.” He took a step forward. “You think music stays the same, you think your audience stays the same, and you think I stay the same.”

Golden eyes narrowed slightly. “You never change Sebastian. You’re still the scared child that likes to hide behind someone. First it was me, then Tanaka, and now Ciel. What happens when Ciel realizes the truth and leaves you?” He smirked. “Because you know he will. Eventually he’ll realize that he can have better and he won’t want anything to do with you. What will you do then, Sebastian? Who will you hide behind once you discover the truth. The truth that Ciel doesn’t love you.”

Sebastian’s fist shot forward, catching Claude in the jaw and making his head snap to the side. Harsh pants left his mouth as the anger that Sebastian felt back at the restaurant came boiling back at Claude’s words. His fingers curled around Claude’s shirt and pushed him against the wall. “Do not say another word, Claude Faustus,” he hissed. “Don’t even think about opening your mouth.”

His fingers tightened and he stared into golden eyes, eyes that had haunted his dreams when he was younger. They narrowed and glared back at him but Sebastian didn’t back down. This was long overdue and he was tired of running.

“There was a time when we were younger that you controlled me, physically and mentally. You told me what I could wear and how to act. You mentally crippled me until it was near impossible for me to trust,” Sebastian spat and watched as golden eyes danced with pleasure at hearing the words. “But then I beat you at your own game and escaped your control.”

“A mistake on my part,” Claude snarled. “I should’ve watched you more carefully.”

Sebastian pushed Claude harder against the wall, making his head smack into the smooth surface. “I told you not to open your mouth,” he said calmly and watched as Claude flinched every so slightly. “You were stronger than me when we were younger. You had age and leverage on me that kept me from lashing out at you. But now that we’re older, you’ve stayed the same while I’ve grown stronger and surpassed you.”

Claude struggled against Sebastian’s grip. “You only think you’ve grown stronger. I can still bring you down with a single word if I wanted to.” He laughed. “You’re still so weak, Sebastian, you only think you’re strong. I will always be stronger and better than you in every way.”

“Yet here we stand,” Sebastian said. “I’m free from your grip and your life is slowly taking a turn for the worse. 

“It’s only a matter of time,” Claude spat. “You’re deluding yourself if you think you can continue to live on your own, happily with Ciel at your side. But one day he’ll wake up and realize what a mistake he made by dating you all these years. He’ll leave, just like everyone else and then you’ll be alone. And you’ll have no choice but to come crawling back to me, begging me to help you.”

Sebastian shook his head. “I pity you, Claude,” he stated and he watched as his brother flinched harshly at the words. Pity was something Claude couldn’t handle. He needed Sebastian to hate him and despise him. Those feelings pushed him forward and gave him meaning, telling him that he was doing something right and had Sebastian under his control. 

But pity was something new. If Sebastian pitied Claude, then he no longer hated him and was no longer under his control. It meant that he had broken free of the constraints placed on him and turned the tables. Hate and affection, while two opposite emotions, were easy to accept and handle. It meant that people loved or hated him, telling Claude that he was doing something right. 

Pity though…pity. It roused the sympathy and sorrow due to the misfortune or suffering of another. For Sebastian to feel pity for Claude said that Claude was doing something wrong. People pitied Sebastian years back because his life seemed wrong. And Claude took great pleasure in knowing that his actions were behind that pity. To have the tables suddenly turned though left Claude off balanced and suddenly scrambling to find a foothold in his life.

Because his life wasn’t something to be pitied. There was nothing wrong with it, nothing for people to look at him with those eyes that spoke of sympathy due to something Claude couldn’t understand.

“I fail to see how you pity me,” Claude finally said, his words laced with a boldness that dared Sebastian to prove him wrong. But his eyes flickered with fear deep in the depths of his gaze. Inside, the thought that Sebastian’s words were right, terrified him.

Sebastian smiled slightly, the action making Claude stiffen against the wall. “You think you can tell me how to live my life. That you can come back into it and try to tear down the trust I have with Ciel. But you can’t, not anymore. I refuse to be that weakened child you could pick on when we were younger.” His hands loosened their grip on Claude’s shirt and traveled up, curling around his neck in a mockingly familiar gesture from years back.

Claude tilted his head to the side, keeping a cautious eye on Sebastian but the fear seemed to keep him from lashing out. The fear that Sebastian could do something, would do something because he was indeed stronger now. 

“You don’t control me anymore, Claude, and I will never let you close enough to try again,” Sebastian murmured. “You can try to weave your lies as much as you want, but they’ll never work because I’m stronger than that, I’m stronger than you. Nothing you do will ever make me fall into your hands again.”

Someone pounded on the door behind them, the noise pulling Claude from his fear induced haze. “Shut up!” Claude shouted and words echoed throughout the bathroom. He started to struggle against Sebastian, pushing and shoving in an attempt to break free, and Sebastian watched as Claude’s eyes flickered towards the door.

“Sebastian!” Ciel shouted from the other side of the door. “What are you doing to Claude? Don’t you dare kill him! He’s not worth the effort and Funtom still needs him. Unlock the door, Sebastian!”

The noise behind them grew louder and Claude shoved Sebastian away. “Don’t touch me,” he said. “Don’t touch me, don’t speak to me, don’t do anything. Just shut your damn mouth!” He yelled and swung his fist at Sebastian’s head.

Sebastian chuckled lowly and blocked the attack. “You can try to make me fall. You can beat me with your words or your fists, but at the end of the day, you’ll be the one who is left alone while I still have Ciel. Because I know the truth and that’s something you can’t take away no matter how you try. You can never break me; you will never break me again.”

His hands grabbed Claude’s shirt again and he spun them around, shoving Claude up against the bathroom door. It rattled at the force behind Sebastian’s action and for a moment, Ciel seemed to falter on the other side at the sudden noise. His surprise passed quickly though and he started to beat on the door once more, but the noise fell on deaf ears.

There was no one; they both knew that. No one could come in and interrupt this brotherly talk. This was between them and no one else, despite Ciel’s efforts to stop the fight. No doubt, he worried that they would beat each other to bloody pulp and die in the locked bathroom. But this was something they needed. They needed this time to rewrite the rules between them. 

The lines of power were shifting and changing. Claude no longer held all of them in his hand and the few that remained were slipping through his fingers with ease. They fell like strands of silk into Sebastian’s waiting hands and he grasped them firmly but cautiously. Power was dangerous and tricky. It could make you the king of the world one moment and send you crashing to your knees the next. 

It was wholly possible though that in a power struggle, there could be more than one victor. Sharing power equally was possible, so long as both parties respected each other and were willing to meet each other in the middle. No animosity or past problems could remain. A new slate would form; wiped clear of the past in order to start anew.

That wasn’t going to happen today.

Sebastian’s hand grasped Claude’s cheeks tightly, fingers digging into the soft skin. Claude stilled under the touch and watched him warily. The power had shifted now and they both knew it. Sebastian held it in his hand and with this fight, everything between them changed. Their worlds had tilted, shifting in Sebastian’s favor and casting Claude in his shadow. The power struggle between them would continue, rising and falling like a seesaw until somehow, someway, it balanced. 

“You do not own me anymore, Claude,” Sebastian said, his voice calm and steady. “And you will never own me again.” He leaned forward, Claude tensing as he grew closer, until his lips brushed over Claude’s cheek. “Goodbye brother,” he murmured and backed away.

He reached behind Claude and flicked his wrist, unlocking the bathroom door. He pulled the handle, forcing Claude away from the door and stepped through the doorframe without looking back. There was no need, Claude knew his place now and Sebastian’s actions had stunned Claude too much to think about attacking him.

Because in the end, Sebastian had walked away without doing anything. He didn’t try to get revenge or force Claude to his knees the same way Claude did when they were younger. It threw him off and Claude didn’t know what to think of Sebastian’s actions. And that was the power that Sebastian liked. It was subtle and slightly innocent. There was no bloodshed, no violence, and no ruining of Claude’s life. He would let Claude do that himself.

Sebastian didn’t gain anything by turning into his brother, he refused to let that happen. He wouldn’t force the same things on Claude because he was better than that. Yes, he would put Claude in his place, but that was where he stopped and drew the line. And it was a line Sebastian refused to cross. Power was dangerous and tricky. One had to handle it with care and above all, respect. 

Turning into Claude meant that, in time, Sebastian would fall just as Claude had. Learn from history, Tanaka had once said, it will always teach you well. And if you learn from it, you will never repeat the same mistakes of the past.

Ciel stood on the other side of the door, looking anxious and curious. “Sebastian,” he started and grunted when Sebastian pulled him close, their chests pressing together. Ciel’s hands came up and cupped his face, blue eyes silently searching for any hints of trauma. “What happened? Did he do anything to you?” He finally asked.

Sebastian smiled and lowered his head until their foreheads bumped against each other. “No. We just talked and everything is going to be okay now,” he answered and captured Ciel’s lips in a soft kiss. “Because you love me, and I know that. I know the truth and I know what isn’t, that’s all that matters.”

Ciel looked confused and he glanced over Sebastian’s shoulders to look at Claude before turning his attention back to Sebastian. “He looks dazed. What did you do to him?”

“We talked and I won,” Sebastian answered. “He can’t control me anymore.”

Ciel’s mouth opened slightly as understanding dawned in his eyes and a soft ‘oh’ fell from his lips. A smile spread across his face and he pulled Sebastian closer. “I’m glad,” he said simply. He didn’t need to say anything else, just as Sebastian didn’t need to explain in detail what happened between him and Claude. 

Sebastian hummed as drew Ciel into another kiss, glad that Ciel didn’t press for details. Some fights you had to fight alone and this was one of them. They broke apart and Sebastian smiled softly. “I love you,” he said with all the sincerity in his body. Not as though he never meant the words before in the past, but there had always been the smallest doubt, brought on by his insecurities with Claude.

Now though, it seemed as though that doubt never existed and the words felt stronger and surer on his tongue. They told of a future that Sebastian had once only dreamed about but believed he would never have. And now that dream rested in Sebastian’s arms, warm and loving.


End file.
